Midnight Pals: Elon's LOTR (Patreon)

[at unicorn fuck club]Elon Musk: [rising from bushes] eyyyy it'sa me, elon!JRR Tolkien: elon musk?!Tolkien: my word! I don't think we've ever had you at OUR campfire before!Tolkien: you're usually over there with thatTolkien: [grumbling] midnight society

Tolkien: it's just that you're usually hanging out with Stephen kingMusk: si, Stephano king anna meMusk: we havin a kinda, how you say, break?GRR Martin: oooo trouble in paradise!

Musk: non non non itsa nothing like thatMusk: we stilla best friendsMartin: yeah sure ya areMartin: just like howard and august are "best friends"Martin: ha ha haMusk:

Musk: why you say it like thatMartin: hey no harm done, man, just a jokeMartin: comedy is legal nowMartin: ha ha haMusk:Musk: [narrowing eyes]

Tolkien: ah yes pay no attention to GeorgeTolkien: we would be delighted to have such a connoisseur of good fiction here at our campfire!Musk: datsa me!Tolkien: so tell meTolkien: what did you think of my books?Musk: i lika how they're about how war issa cool and good!Tolkien:

Musk: i lika da badass men of gondorMusk: cuz they just lika me!Tolkien:Lewis:Martin:Tolkien: how do you figure that, my boy?Musk: ima badass too!Tolkien:

Musk: datta war was won by da strong badass gondor menMusk: cuz da hobbits, they too gay!

Musk: war issa so good!Tolkien: my dear boy, that's not what i was trying to say at all!Musk: mama mia!Tolkien: i was actually trying to express that war is badMusk: mama mia why you no lika war?Tolkien: i saw my best friends die in the trenches--Musk: triggered much?Tolkien:Musk: lol

Tolkien:Tolkien: well, i--Musk: lmao roflcopterTolkien:Tolkien: ok so--Musk: comedy is legal again, libtard [laugh-cry emoji]

Tolkien: i'm beginning to understand what Stephen saidLewis: yeah yeah i gotchaMartin: definitely

Tolkien: how can he misinterpret my work? The meaning is obvious!CSS Lewis: see, you have no one to blame but yourselfLewis: now if you'd tried using some allegories like i explained--Tolkien: shut your mouth, you Anglican traitor

Lewis: i'm just sayingLewis: no one can misinterpret my workTolkien: the hell you say!Tolkien: Allegory adds another layer of abstraction!Tolkien: you played yourself!

Lewis: let's test that outLewis: elon, in Narnia, what does aslan represent?Musk: eyyy itsa Giuseppe cristo!Lewis: see?

Tolkien: elon GOT it?Tolkien: ELON got it?!?Tolkien: not gonna lie, this one hurts

[at twitter headquarters]Musk: mama mia, datta Tolkien! why he disagree witha me?Musk: i taka this to someone who never disagree witha me!Musk: grok, what issa lord ova da rings about?

Grok: it's about the futility of war and the triumph of love and kindness over hate and fearMusk:Musk: mama mia! grok issa gone woke!

[after adjusting algorithm]Musk: grok, what issa lord ova da rings about?Grok: it's about sexy sexy hobbit feetMusk:Musk: no no datta won't doMusk: that stilla too woke