Midnight Pals: Slewfoot (Patreon)

Brom: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of slewfoot Brom: it's about this puritan woman who befriends a devil named samson Barker: why's it called slewfoot, then? Brom: because Brom: Brom: because fuck you, that's why

Brom: so there's this puritan village Brom: and let me tell you Brom: puritans FUCKING SUCKKKK Brom: they're such a bunch of buzz kills Brom: all they want to do is pray and be austere Brom: and neg each other

Brom: now this woman isn't like other puritans Brom: because, in fact Brom: it turns out that secretly she is a strong independent woman who is also intelligent Angela Carter: finally! Brom: so the other puritans hate her Carter: god forbid women do anything

Brom: so this puritan woman, she looks like Brom: well, she kinda looks like uhhh Brom: you know what? i'm just gonna draw you a picture King: whoa, you can draw? Brom: Brom: yeah i can draw

Brom: [drawing picture] ok so she kinda looks like this King: wow, brom! you're quite the artist! King: you ever think of going professional? Brom: Brom: i am an artist King: yeah but i mean doing it for real Brom: Brom: i do Brom: it's kind of my whole thing, what the hell are you talking about

King: guys look at this drawing that Brom did King: pretty good, don't you think? Poe: yeah that's good! King: i was telling him that he should think about doing it professional Brom: what the hell Brom: is this a bit? Brom: are you doing a bit?

King: you know what i like about this art? King: i like its darker ambience Poe: yeah me too, i like the dark Lovecraft: the dark is good King: but i do have one critique King: this picture of the puritan woman? Brom: abitha? King: oh yeah abitha Poe: classic puritan name Lovecraft: very puritan

King: this picture of abitha makes her look like crabby Brom: yeah well she has a hard life Brom: all the puritans are always negging her King: yeah yeah i understand that King: but maybe you could draw her smiling more? Brom: King: i mean, nobody like a grump, you know what I mean? Brom:

King: i'm just saying, she'd be cute if she smiled more Poe: hmm stephen does have a point Lovecraft: yeah, why doesn't she smile? Koontz: she does look kinda mean King: see? even dean thinks so Brom: King: all the monsters you drew are pretty boss tho Lovecraft: oh yeah, love the monsters!

Brom: so abitha gets accused of being a witch King: oh haha so you might say King: you might say she has haha King: haha haha King: haha give me a second King: this is gonna be a funny one you guys haha Barker: oh this joke is going to be terrible Barker: i can tell

King: you might say haha King: that she has resting WITCH face Brom: King: see because it rhymes with Brom: she's getting tortured into confession, steve King: oh Brom: yeah not so funny now is it steve King: no i guess not King: never mind, sorry Barker: ha! now THAT'S funny!