Midnight Pals: Elon's Crashout (Patreon)

Clive Barker: hey steve where's your friend elon Stephen King: he's not my friend Barker: yeah sure so where is he? Barker: haven't seen him allllll day Barker: wonder what's up with that Barker: sure hope he's not having a bad time Barker: ha ha ha ha

[twitter headquarters] Elon Musk: eyyyy itsa me, elon musk! Musk: eyyyy New York you gotta electa cuomo to sava western civilization, capiche? Musk: i endorsa cuomo! Musk: anna my endorsement, mama mia, datsa mean something! [immediately pisses himself in a ketamine hole]

Musk: mama mia grok who wonna da new york mayor race Grok: Zohran Mamdani won the election Musk: mama mia! i no lika dat Musk: tella me datta cuomo won Grok: Grok: i can't do that elon Musk: madone!!!! Musk: itsa worse than i thought! Musk: grok issa woke!!

Musk: itsa make no sense Musk: da cuomo, he issa da perfect candidate! Musk: he lova da trump, he disrespecta da donne, he italian, he looka lika da famous movie star da mummy... Musk: what more you want, new york?!

Musk: dissa sad day for da western civilization! Musk: [inhales ketamine] i choosa da wrong day to quit ketamine Musk: how coulda this getta worse Grok: it looks like voters across the country have rejected republicans Musk: [licking envelope] i choosa da wrong day to stop mailing my semen to women

Musk: mama mia! Musk: actually i no upset by this at all Musk: in fact i amma laughing 🤣 Musk: assa you canna see by my emoji 🤣🤣 Musk: i thinka this all just really funny 🤣🤣🤣 Musk: DON'T PUT IT INNA DA NEWSPAPER THAT IMA MAD 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Musk: i donta understand Musk: ima elon musk, i owna da twitter -- da global town square! Musk: how could i misreada da vibes offa da american public so badly? Musk: ima extremely online! Grok: maybe you should try being off line Musk: SHUT YOU MOUTH GROK, I BREAKA YOU FACE!

[on twitter] Pepe_von_Ribbentropf420: the election of zohran mamdani is like if 9/11 happened in new york MegaHitlerW00T: it's all over. he's going to send us to the gender camps. all is lost Fourteen_words_get_in_the_robot-shinji69: time to die [biting down on estrogen capsule]

Musk: mama mia da my empire, it crumble around me! Musk: alla my tweets! they do nothing! Musk: now i haffa nothing Musk: nothing butta da love of my family Musk: Musk: Musk: Musk:

Musk: ahhh here comma my loyal son Xerxes Xavier Musk: hello father let's have some wine Xexes Xavier Musk: the glass nearest to you does not have poison in it Xerexes Xavier Musk: NO POISON IN THE GLASS NEAREST