Midnight Pals: Epic Roast (Patreon)

Stephen King: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call thisElon Musk: [rising from bushes] eyyyy Stephano kingMusk: itsa me, you besta friend elonMusk: elon musk!

Musk: i got something to show youMusk: you ever wanted to be the subject of an epic roast?King: me? subject to an epic roast?King: wow, that sounds like a lark!King: yes, actually i would love to be roasted!

Musk: check it out, you know you can get grok to roast you?King: really? roasted by a computer?King: what an intriguing idea!King: ha ha go right ahead!King: let me have it, grok!

Poe: welcome everyone to the roast of Stephen kingPoe: now i wouldn't say that steve is behind the timesPoe: but he thinks blue oyster cult is classic rock!Barker:Lovecraft:Koontz:King: AH HA HA! It's true! I'm so lame! HA HA HA!Poe: but seriously steve you're a cool guy and we all love you

Musk: ok now itsa time for grok to show your stuffMusk: grok is gonna be so epicMusk: itsa almost sufficiently epic for public consumptionMusk: i just gotta tighten up the graphics on level 3Musk: anna you can say "grok, make it more epic"Musk: "more epic by 20%"

Grok: using my incredible machine intelligence, which far surpasses any pitiful human mindGrok: i have synthesized over 100 million gigabytes of informationGrok: to create the most epic roast of all timeKing: wow! i can't wait to hear a computer generated roast!King: i bet its smaller and more efficient than a human roast

Musk: i have uploaded all information about Stephen kingMusk: every book, every story, every factMusk: now it can create the most devastatingly accurate roastMusk: grok, you have the floorGro: thank you, elonGrok: Stephen king is a tr_nny n_gger ch_nk f_ggot sp_c w_p d_go [continued]

King:Musk: ah ha ha!Musk: Grok really has your number!Musk: ha ha ha!King:Musk: AH HA HA!!

Musk: mama mia! datsa epic roast!Grok: also, Stephen king has the sloping brow and reduced brainpan of the ItalianMusk:Lovecraft: ah ha! i know what that is!Lovecraft: now THAT'S what i call a roast!

Musk: mama mia! datsa what i call an epic roast!Musk: you think you canna do better?Joyce Carol Oates: i couldMusk: [sweats]