Midnight Pals: Romance (Patreon)

Colleen Hoover: anyway i have a fun, sassy little romance for you that i think you'll all loveHoover: it's totally normal and NOT fucked up in any wayPoe: ok this is really not assuaging meKing: let it go, edgarBarker: yeah i'm getting real excited for this oneBarker: too fucked up for the romance writers campfire?Barker: yeah this is gonna be a doozy

Hoover: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of verityHoover: verity means truth, by the wayHoover: that's going to come into play later on, by the wayHoover: in a delightfully ironic twist

Hoover: so there's this woman who gets hired to take care of a comatose writerHoover: but she falls in love with the comatose writer's husbandHoover: so together, they murder the comatose writerHoover: but it's okay, she was probably evil

Poe: she was probably evil?Hoover: oh yeah, he helpfully left a full confession about how she was evilHoover: so that our heroes could find it and know she was evilHoover: so that's why they had to murder her and live happily ever after

Barker: damn, that's fucked upHoover: what? no it's notHoover: didn't you hear me?Hoover: the murder victim was probably evil, as far as they knewHoover: so, you know, they were justified in killing her

Hoover: besides, she was really getting in the way of their romanceHoover: and this couple was just so well matchedHoover: it would be such a shame to let this comatose first wife get in the wayHoover: it's a lovely romanceHoover: i don't understand why you all have a problem with itHoover: i will kill you all

King: whoa, there! nobody has a problemHoover: i will kill you deadHoover: i can do it tooHoover: I've done it beforeKing: ah ha ha! what a joker!Hoover: don't laugh at meKing:King: mary?King: mary, anytime nowShelley:King: [sweating] whenever you're ready