Midnight Pals: Another Forever War (Patreon)

[white house]Trump: so we're bombing venezuela nowTrump: no reason, really, just becauseTrump: we just had all these bombs lying aroundTrump: and we thoughtTrump: why notJD Vance: masterful gambit, sir

Larry Niven: MR PRESIDENT, MR PRESIDENT!Niven: we heard the news and we came as fast as we couldTrump: who's thisNiven: we areNiven: SIGMAnarrator: SIGMA is the secret code name for a think tank of costumed science fiction writers dedicated to advising the president on matters of their expertise (see issue #43 - ed)

Niven: of courseNiven: for security purposes, we have to keep our identities hiddenGreg Bear: I'm Greg BearNiven:Niven: really, greg???Niven: every freakin' time

Bear: i'm greg bearElizabeth Moon: lay off him, he's trying!Niven: get this guy out of the room before i--!!Bear: i'm greg bearMoon: c'mon, greg, let's go wait in the hall

Niven: mr president, we heard you were thinking of starting a war with venezuelaNiven: for freedom, right?Trump: no, oilNiven:Niven: i mean, yeah, i know, butNiven: you're not supposed to say itTrump: who are you again

Niven: let me tell you, i am all for this warNiven: i have a spotless reputation of war endorsementNiven: you might remember a little war called Vietnam?Niven: well, i was for that

Trump: i don't remember VietnamNiven:Niven: well, i was for itNiven: and i think history has vindicated me on that front

Niven: anyway, SIGMA has plenty of members who specialize in military sci fiNiven: we could advise you on how to do regime changeTrump: no we already did itNiven: you did it?Trump: yeahTrump: 20 minutes ago

Niven: now there's more than one way to do regime changeNiven: but it is as intricate and precise as a well-played game of chess-Trump: we already kidnapped the presidentNiven:

Niven: you did whatTrump: yeah we kidnapped the president of VenezuelaTrump: "kidnapping"Trump: an old word but a beautiful one!

Niven: you kidnapped the president of venezuela?Trump: yeah and his wifeNiven: and his wife?Trump: very rude womanTrump: ugly tooJD Vance: haha yeah boss she sure was!Trump: shut upVance: sure thing, right away boss!

Pete Hegseth: [lurching drunkenly into office] Mr President, we need to bomb caracas to secure the future of the white raceHegseth: America has bombed korea, Iraq and AfghanistanHegseth: and by gum it put them on the map!Hegseth: [violently vomits]

Trump: don't puke too hard pal, you'll tear your face liftVance: hahaha good one boss!Trump: shut upVance: right away boss!!! shutting up right now, boss!!!

Niven: okay but mr presidentNiven: surely you need us to advise you on your next stepNiven: for example, a lot of Venezuelans were probably injured and maimed in those indiscriminate bombingsNiven: what if we spread a rumor about organ traffikers to keep them out of hospitals?Niven: eh? eh?Niven: that one never goes out of style!