Midnight Pals: Silent Hill (Patreon)

Christophe Gans: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the return to silent hill Gans: yup that's right Gans: there's a new silent hill movie Gans: you might not have heard bc the studio is mysteriously not promoting it at all Gans: probably because its so good

Gans: now i hear all you silent hill fans saying "but christophe, will it be like the game?" Gans: yes it will Gans: exactly like the game Gans: slavishly devoted to the game Gans: like literally just a bunch of game cut scenes strung together

Gans: see, some people might say that film and video game are different media and that what works in one might not work in the other Gans: those people just aren't trying hard enough

Gans: what would you say is the thing that people really like about the silent hill movies Keiichiro Toyama: probably the dark psychological symbolism Gans: Toyama: and also the way the radio makes noise when a monster shows up Gans: yes! Gans: yes, my thoughts exactly!

Gans: i am going to be 100% faithful to your video game vision keiichiro Gans: it looks exactly like a PS2 cut scene Gans: if you're a fan of extreme face close-ups of blank faced polygonal sprites and janky walk-cycles Gans: oo you're gonna love this!

Toyama: astounding! this exactly matches a 20 year old video game in tone and look! Toyama: i really love the way the actors always look like they're about to clip through walls Toyama: boy, this brings me back

Gans: it's 100% faithful to your original vision, not a single change to made in concession to the fact that its a totally different medium! Toyama: when does james find a can full of lightbulbs Gans: Gans: ok one change

Gans: ok i'll admit it, we did make a couple small changes Gans: but don't worry Gans: they might be small, but they will make the film substantially worse Toyama: Toyama: so no can of light bulbs?

Gans: ok you know that bit in the game where pyramid head rapes a mannequin as a manifestation of the protagonists' rage against his dead wife? Toyama: yeah? Gans: we thought that was a bit extreme Gans: so we changed it to something silly instead

Gans: we thought what if instead Gans: pyramidhead fights a spider monster with a huge dumptruck ass Gans: and he just spends the whole fight just pounding on the monster's ass Gans: not metaphorically Gans: i mean like punching dat ass with his fists

Gans: we put in all your favorite boss fight monsters too Gans: of course it's a movie not a video game so it doesn't really make sense to have boss fights but Gans: it looks cool in a PS2 kind of way

Toyama: did you do the shibe endingGans: no we didn't do the shibe endingToyama: aw i kinda wanted the shibe endingDean Koontz: i also wanted the shibe endingBarker: there's a shock