Midnight Pals: Vermin (Patreon)

Hiron Ennes: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the works of vermin
Ennes: a l'art dramatique in three acts
Ennes: best paired with a mild sauvignon gris, served slightly chilled, for maximum elucidation
Ennes: and your fanciest, frenchiest cheese

King: wow, hiron!! this sure is fancy!
Ennes: hmm quite
King: and this wine! it's real swell!
King: um
King: sorry is something wrong?
Ennes: pinky finger extended, stephen
King: oh right sorry
Ennes: after all
Ennes: [chuckles] we're not animals now are we?

Ennes: this story takes place in tiliard, where good taste is everything
Ennes: just imagine a world run by evil, aristocratic ghouls
Ennes: whose main concern is good taste
King: well
King: well, i can picture that first thing

Ennes: tiliard today
Ennes: With bustling streets, machines, cafes
Ennes: And the nice, the wise, the eccentric and insane
Ennes: There’s prisons made of lead
Ennes: And gargoyles of iron shreds
Ennes: and guy moulene killing insects dead
Ennes: clever little guy with his clever head

Ennes: guy moulene works as an exterminator
Ennes: one day, working a job on the rue d' la chrystalized dreams, he pokes his poison clister into the wrong nest
Ennes: and finds a giant centipede
Brian Keene: a giant centipede, you say?
Ennes: almost godlike
Josh Millican: almost godlike, you say?

Ennes: now this centipede is so big
King: how big is it?
Ennes: why, it's almost as big as the overbearingly gauche flavor of a petite pinot cancaret (1835) incongruously paired with poached oceanic salmon in cream zitron remoulade

Ennes: and this centipede is so long!
King: how long is it?
Ennes: as long as the inter mezzo of Albernauch's retro-cabrian oratorio 'The False Daughter of Jarumundi Bonk: An Operetta on Craft' (1745)
Ennes: [chuckles] and we all know how long that was
Barker: oh yeah totally

Ennes: and of course we all know what they say about 'The False Daughter of Jarumundi Bonk: An Operetta on Craft' (1745)
King: oh yeah absolutely
Barker: oh yeah steve?
Barker: what DO they say about it
King:
King: uhhh
Ennes: cliveford please, it's gauche to put stephen on the spot like that

Ennes: of course as we all know, the thing about 'The False Daughter of Jarumundi Bonk: An Operetta on Craft' (1745)
Ennes: is too much staccato, not enough vibrato
King: ha ha ha!!
King: oh man it's so true!!
King: ha ha ha!
Barker: stop laughing steve, you don't know what that means
King: i
King:

King: no i
King: i do
King: i'm always saying that about 'The False Daughter of Jarumundi Bonk: An Operetta on Craft' (1745)
Barker: too much staccato, not enough vibrato?
King: y-yeah
Barker: about 'The False Daughter of Jarumundi Bonk: An Operetta on Craft' (1745)?
King: y
King: yeah

King: joe quick can you explain opera to me?
Joe Hill: what? no

Ennes: let me tell you, this centipede was big
Ennes: one time i threw a soiree
Ennes: he showed up real drunk
Ennes: leaned across my apertivo bar and called me a punk!
Ennes: well, i took that remark rather tongue and cheek
Ennes: but just to be safe i made his next drink weak