Midnight Pals: The Pope (Patreon)

Pope Leo: eyyy its me, da chicago pope
William Peter Blatty: gasp! your holiness!
Blatty: what an honor! i
Blatty: i just
Blatty: i just
Blatty: wow!
Blatty: [geneflecting wildly] just wow!

Blatty: c'mon everyone, show some respect!
Blatty: it's the pope!
Barker: cool, good for him
Blatty: oh my god
Blatty: he doesn't mean that, your holiness
Pope Leo: eyyy its all good
Blatty: [geneflecting intensifies] oh my god, he's got the patience of a saint!

Pope Leo: eyyy listen i got somethin' ta say
Blatty: listen up people! the pope's got something to say!
Poe: oh he's got an encyclical?
Pope Leo: dat's right
Pope Leo: yeah i got your encyclical right here!!

Pope Leo: ok listen up yous guys
Pope Leo: da chicago pope is talkin'
Pope Leo: first of all, be it known through alla da whole world of catholicism
Pope Leo: dat the only way to eat a dog is wit' tomato wedges an pickled peppers
Pope Leo: ketchup is heresy
Blatty: very wise, very wise!

Pope Leo: now second of all
Pope Leo: i gots some words about all this here AI
Pope Leo: in fact it reminds me of a quote by da smartest guy i've ever known
Blatty: ah yes yes
Blatty: you speak of Jesus Christ of course
Pope Leo: nope
Pope Leo: i'm talkin' gandalf
Blatty:

Blatty: what
Pope Leo: dat's right
Pope Leo: in da immortal word of gandalf da gray
Pope Leo: "It is not our part to master all the tides of the world, but to do what is in us for the succour of those years wherein we are set"
Pope Leo: think about it

GRR Martin: hey jirt did you hear
JRR Tolkien: what?
Martin: you got quoted by the pope
Tolkien: i got quoted by the pope?
Martin: yeah
Tolkien: THE pope?
Martin: yeah
Tolkien: the pope in rome?? the holy pontiff??? god's ambassador on earth????? THAT pope???????
Martin: yeah

Tolkien: well well well
Tolkien: now look who's laughing!
Tolkien: hmm hey clive
CS Lewis: what
Tolkien: remind me, has the archbishop of whatever ever quoted aslan?
Lewis:
Tolkien: i'm sorry i can't hear you
Tolkien: what was that again?
Lewis: no
Tolkien: ha ha that's what i thought!

Tolkien: oh it's no big deal
Tolkien: just the top guy in catholicism talkin' about gandalf
Tolkien: nope nope not a big deal at all
Tolkien: sorry you can never experience that, clive
CS Lewis:
Tolkien: but that's what you get for picking anglicanism
Tolkien: lmao loser ass religion

CS Lewis: hey! it's a perfectly valid faith!
Tolkien: yeah whatever
Tolkien: "anglicanism"
Tolkien: lol you don't even know what you're getting