Midnight Pals: Cool Guy (Patreon)

Stephen King: submitted for the approval of Elon Musk [rising from bushes]: eyyyy stephano king King: oh for pete's sake King: we only interacted like three times on twitter! King: how long is this going to go on?!

Elon Musk: eyyy i hearda rumor dat dere are-a some people Musk: some-a CRAZY people Musk: some-a pazzo stupidito people Musk: witha da woke mind virus, no doubt Musk: who don't thinka i'ma cool

King: elon, no one thinks you're cool! Poe: steve King: no, i'm saying it! King: i'm goshdarned tired of this! Barker: holy shit Barker: i knew someone was going to say it one day, i just never thought it would be steve

Musk: so! da truth comes out! Musk: stephano king, you were justa fake friend dissa whole time? King: we were never friends! Musk: you breaka my heart stephano king! King: good! i hope so! and i hope you leave me alone forever! Musk: Musk: what you trying to say stephano king

Musk: so you thinka i no cool eh? Musk: but i aska you dis Musk: could a not cool guy maka dis? Musk: [pisses himself] Poe: King: Barker: Koontz: Lovecraft: King: was King: was that the thing Musk: no no dat unrelated

Musk: checka dis out Musk: i maka dis 6 minute AI video alla about how ima cool guy who don'ta look at explosions King: oh i don't believe that for a second King: you would absolutely look at an explosion Musk: i Musk: no i wouldn't King: you would Poe: i'm with steve on this one

Mary Shelley: sup fuckers King: elon musk is telling us that he wouldn't look at an explosion Shelley: ha ha ha Shelley: that's a good one Shelley: but for real Shelley: why is he here? Shelley: why hasn't one of you lot killed him King: King: i Shelley: i gotta do everything around here myself

Shelley: it's seriously easy Shelley: you just stab and twist Shelley: it just takes a little more thrust than when i do it to clive Barker: i really appreciate that you don't hit organ when you do that Barker: i'm being genuine for once Shelley: oh i know you are

King: sigh King: honestly this whole thing is just so depressing King: it's like we don't even talk about horror anymore King: it's just always commenting on some insanely stupid news story JK Rowling: pack your bagsss children, we're all going to pay tribute at dobbyssss grave!