Midnight Pals: Salem's Lot (Patreon)

Stephen King: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of salem's lot King: you're gonna like it, bram Bram Stoker: oh? King: yeah, it's about a writer King: oh there's some vampires too King: but they're less important

King: you ever wonder what would happen if dracula happened today? King: well, i think it might go a little something like this...

King: so a vampire comes to the town of salem's lot King: and you know he's a vampire because he's got the vampire haircut Bram Stoker: oh, yeah, totally Stoker: i know exactly what you mean Poe: what's vampire hair? King: you know King: vampire hair Stoker: yeah edgar, vampire hair! Stoker: DUH

King: obviously when i say vampire hair, i mean like dracula hair Stoker: yes yes of course Tobe Hooper: hey can i make a suggestion for the salem's lot film adaptation King: is it about the vampire's hair? Hooper: Hooper: yes it is King: ooo umm hmm King: hmm err King: gosh i dunno

King: a vampire comes to salem's lot King: and only this writer can stop it! King: this writer's not like other writers tho King: he's real normal and cool King: just a cool guy you'd love to hang out with, maybe get a bear King: just a real T-shirt and jeans kinda guy King: not weird at all

King: this writer is just a real normal guy King: in fact, he's so normal that everyone he meets comments on how cool and normal he is and how much they'd love to hang out with him and just get a beer, you know, like bros, but also not in a gay way Bram Stoker: i like him already!

King: i know what you're thinking King: "but steve there's no way this writer could be THAT normal" King: he's gotta be a little weird right? a little strange?King: maybe even a little fruity in that way that writers are? King: well, news flash, bub! some writers are totally normal in every way

King: also he's not gay, don't get that idea Bram Stoker: i like that! King: he's got a wholesome relationship with his girlfriend, which mostly consists of drinking beer with her dad Stoker: oh yeah this is the most het relationship ever

King: also my vampires are not sexy at all Stoker: this is the most accurate dracula adaptation ever! Stoker: finally someone who understands that dracula isn't about sex! Poe: Barker: Koontz: Lovecraft: