Midnight Pals: The Conservative (Patreon)

Lovecraft: h-hey guys do you want to see my newsletter Barker: you uh Barker: you wrote a newsletter? Barker: whats it called? Lovecraft: t-the conservative Barker: Barker: ah ha ha ha August Derleth: STOP IT, HOWARD IS ONLY AS RACIST AS THE AVERAGE MAN OF HIS DAY!!

Derleth: look before you start making assumptions  Derleth: you gotta understand that howard's 'conservatism' bears little resemblance to how we understand the term today  Derleth: see, for howard, it's about cultural revival  Barker: oh my god haha  Barker: he's a fuckin retvrn guy

Derleth: no! howard's using the term 'conservative' differently than how we use it today!  Lovecraft: i-i just think we need to protect our precious anglo saxon values against the onslaught of saracens, tinkers, and other mud races  Barker: seems pretty similar to me

Barker: do you have anything in your newsletter that's not racist  Derleth: clive  Barker: oh no no no  Barker: you're not edgar  Barker: you don't get to say that

Barker: so Barker: anything not racist in your newsletter  Lovecraft: i  Lovecraft: i-i have a review of TS Eliot's the wasteland  Barker: oh yeah? what'd you think?  Lovecraft: it sucks

Lovecraft: i-in fact i penned this little spoof of the wasteland Lovecraft: called waste paper  Lovecraft: i-it's droll  Barker: is it racist  Lovecraft: i mean, a little  Lovecraft: just as a treat

TS Eliot: March is the cruelest month  Eliot: always wet, always rainy  Eliot: i have three chairs in my kitchen  Eliot: and one more in the attic  Eliot: for there is silver in your smile  Eliot: and gold in them thar hills  Eliot: Fahrvergnügen! Kartoffelsalat!  Lovecraft: ughhhhh

Tom Monteleone: well howard you gonna publish any straight white men in your newsletter?  Monteleone: i bet you won't  Monteleone: it's just not [air quotes] fashionable [air quotes] anymore innit Lovecraft: i-i will!  Lovecraft: i will put straight white men it, see if i don't!

Monteleone: look at you lot, giving non white male writers a chance... like a bunch of PC cowards!  Moneteone: you know what's real bravery? publishing white writers  Moneteone: now THAT'S punk rock