Midnight Pals: The Metamorphosis (Patreon)

Franz Kafka: hey everyoneKafka: I guess I’ll tell aKafka:Kafka: [world weary sigh]Kafka: I’m sorry I’ve just beenKafka: so depressed

Kafka: what’s the point of anythingKafka: the world is an unfeeling labyrinth of nonsensical rules constraining us at every turnKing: gee franz it’s not so bleak as all thatKafka: and also I’m uglyKing: now that just isn’t true

King: how can you say you’re ugly, franz?King: you’re a good looking guyKafka: I’m hideousKafka: no one look at meKafka: I’m just a big gross cockroach with big gross cockroach bodyKafka: someone should squash meKafka: I suck

King: I don’t understand franzKing: you’re a good looking guy and all the ladies love youKing: how can you say these things about yourself?Kafka: [puts on hoodie]Poe: wait a secondPoe: I think I understand what’s happeningKing: what?

Barker: I’m gonna say itPoe: no clive don’tPoe: clive you can’t justKing: what’s happening?Poe: you need to let franz work this outBarker: no I’m gonna say itKing: guys what are we talking about

Barker: hey franz I hear you’re depressedBarker: well here’s a question for youKafka: [wearing hoodie] yeahBarker: you ever think about what if you were a girlKafka:Kafka: whatKafka: WHAT

Kafka: OH MY GOD WHY WOULD YOUKafka: WHY WOULD YOU SAY THATKafka: OH MY GODBarker: haha you’re welcomePoe: clive this isn’t funnyKafka: OH MY GOD

Poe: clive did you really have to start thisBarker: what?Barker: franz gets to have an existential crisisBarker: which will be pretty funnyBarker: and joanne is gonna get to be really really madBarker: which will be HILARIOUSBarker: really, I see this as win winPoe: for you, maybe