Midnight Pals: Hot Takes (Patreon)

Lovecraft: S-submitted for the approval of the midnight society, I call thisLovecraft: the tale of the rats in the wallsKing: ooKing: jeez howardKing: that story’s a little dicey ya know?Lovecraft: what?King: you knowKing: with theKing: you know

Lovecraft: a-are you upset by the cannibalismKing: no that’s fineLovecraft: the degenerate human monster cattle?King: not thatLovecraft:Lovecraft: i-is it the narrator going madKing:King: clive help me out hereBarker: naw you’re doing fine steve

King: it’s the cat, howardLovecraft:King: it’s just notKing: it’s just not kosher anymoreLovecraft:Lovecraft: [sweats]King: I’m sorry that was a bad choice of words King: look howard maybe just tell another storyOates: just change the cat’s nameKing: well I mean I don’t necessarily think it’s right to meddle with the ori-Oates: just change the cat’s nameOates: who gives a shit Poe: well joyce steve’s right, there’s a lot to consider hereOates: just change the nameOates: who caresOates: who cares about anythingOates: joyce “wild card” oates strikes again!!! Poe: is it right to change a piece of art to make it more palatable for modern sensibilities? Do we not then run the risk of whitewashing the past Barker: wow edgar interesting takeBarker: hey I got a question for you about the gold bugPoe: we’rePoe: really not talking about me right now

Oates: just change the cat’s nameKing: look carol, we’ve got other hot takes to record today JK Rowling: [rushing in] Alright you poindextersss letsss get this right

Rowling: One. Hello children, I'm JK Rowling. Two. New Zealand is the worst country in the world. Three. Delete the transss, indigenousss and AIDsss memorial chevronsss from the pride f*g, I mean flag. Four. Transsss blood issss poissson.JK Rowling: Bada bing, bada boom. I'm done. Learn from the professionalsss, kid. [leaves]