Midnight Pals: New Series (Patreon)

JK Rowling: hello children Poe: oh joanne Poe: you're Poe: you're back Barker: edgar edgar you sound so tired Barker: put some feeling into it Barker: "ha ha joanne!" Barker: "you're back!" Barker: you act like this won't be extremely funny edgar Poe: Barker: ha ha

JK Rowling: good newssss children  Rowling: Max has agreed to make a full harry potter ssseriesssss  [all look at Max Booth III]  Rowling: no no not max, i mean MAX [all look at Max Brooks]  Rowling: no no i mean  Rowling: i mean you know  Rowling: MAX!

Rowling: sssee, i wasss thinking  Rowling: i jusssst i don't feel like doing any cormorant ssstrike anymore  Rowling: i mean i feel like i've sssaid everything i wanted to sssay with that ssseriesss  Rowling: having sssoundly defeated my every twitter critic in the lassst book

Rowling: even though cormonrant sssstrike is universally beloved and anticipated by many many legionsss of fansss  Rowling: known as ssstrikers or sssometimesss ssstrikeheadsss  Rowling: but never ssstrikeess, that's a derogatory term

Rowling: even though they begged me for more, i thought it was best to concentrate on harry potter again  Rowling: here'sss a photo of cormorant ssstrike fans begging for more sstrike content  Rowling: all the fanss are jusst out of frame

Barker: really? just doing harry potter shit now huh?  Rowling: yess  Barker: no interest in cormorang shrite anymore?  Rowling: no  Barker: huh i wonder why  Rowling:  Barker: none at all?  Rowling: no  Barker: didn't you, like, sue the BBC to keep making cordoroy shrike shows?  Rowling:

Barker: is it actually because  Poe: clive  Barker: nobody likes Carkadann Spike?  Poe: CLIVE  Rowling: that'ss not true  Rowling: the people LOVE Cormorant Sstrike!  Rowling: [coiling] and keep ssaying his name wrong, that'ss not making me mad at all, i don't care

Rowling: thisss time  Rowling: the actorss won't get away from me  Rowling: my goblin lawyer will add a clausse to their contract that they have to sssupport my transsphobia forever  Barker: your goblin lawyer huh  Rowling: goblinss are really good with that sssort of thing you know