Midnight Pals: Advice from a Dog (Patreon)

Dean Koontz: hey guys i got a story for you!Poe: oh wow, good job dean!Poe: i'm sure we're all excited to hear a new scary story from youKoontz: oh this one's not scaryPoe:Poe: oh?Koontz: it's about dogs

Koontz: actually i didn't write thisKoontz: it's by trixie!Poe: your dog?Koontz: [struggling to contain laughter] yes! trixie wrote it!Koontz: [struggling to contain laughter] she wrote it all by herself!

Koontz: it's about advice from a dogKoontz: i think you can learn everything you need to know from a dogKoontz: i think dogs are the wisest people i know!

Koontz: ask trixie what she thinks about catsPoe:Poe: what does trixie think about catsKoontz: trixie says we should treat them with sympathy because its not their fault they're not dogsPoe:Koontz: eh?Poe:Koontz: eh?

Koontz: trixie says we should treat them with sympathy because its not their fault they're not dogsLovecraft: [sweats] i'm gonna kill you!!!Lovecraft: h-how dare youLovecraft: how dare you mallign cats like that!King: whoa whoa whoa calm down there howard!King: edgar help me out herePoe: no no howard's right here

Koontz: [crying] steve i didn't mean itKing: i'm sorry dean, you really shouldn't have pissed off these cat loversKoontz: [crying] i-i didn't mean itKing: i know dean, it's okKoontz: [crying] t-trixie didn't really say thatKing: i know deanKoontz: [crying] i just made it upKoontz: [crying] i-i wanted to seem cool

King: its ok deanKing: you just can't say that sort of thing around cat peopleKing: you know how they areKing: they just don't understand things the way us dog people doKoontz: [sniffling] r-right

Koontz: [sniffling] i-its just that i thinks dogs are the bestPoppy Z Brite: better than ferrets?Koontz: i-i-iKing: don't answer that, deanKoontz: i thinkKing: DO NOT answer that, dean