Midnight Pals: Once Upon a Time in Delain (Patreon)

Stephen King: wow piers anthony you know my daughter is a big fan of your work Piers Anthony: oh yeah girls love my books Anthony: probably all the mentions of panties Anthony: you know, they find that relatable Anthony: cuz they wear them King: yeah sure that makes sense

Stephen King: so I thought I would write some fantasy Piers Anthony: you sure about that, steve? it's not that easy King: oh c'mon how hard could it be King: i mean it couldn't take that long King: after all King: time is PUNNY Anthony: Anthony: i take it back, you're a natural

King: ok so here's my fantasy story King: so imagine, this evil magician has the crown prince locked in a really really really tall tower JRR Tolkien: oh no! GRR Martin: how does he get out? King: oh that's the exciting part! King: he spends 20 years sewing a rope out of napkins

King: luckily, this kingdom has an infinite supply of cloth napkins King: because a previous queen had a napkin-sewing make-work program King: so there's this HUGE fucking warehouse of single use cloth napkins GRR Martin: wow you thought of everything

King: you guys don't seem so thrilled about my 20 year rope making plan? Martin: it's kind of slow CS Lewis: yeah kind of really slow JRR Tolkien: i don't know what you two are talking about Tolkien: i love this kind of fast paced, seat-of-your-pants action!

King: but hold on King: i haven't even told you the best part King: how does he make napkins into rope while he's in jail?? Tolkien: how does he King: he has a dollhouse with a tiny working loom Tolkien: Brian Jacques: [squeaking] i use a tiny working dollhouse loom for a loom!

Stephen King: jeez piers i guess i just don't have the knack for fantasy Piers Anthony: don't beat yourself up King: how do YOU do it? Anthony: i'll let you in on my secret, steve Anthony: i have an infinite number of 12 year olds at an infinite number of word processors

Anthony: [opens door, revealing an infinite number of 12 year olds at an infinite number of word processors] Anthony: soon they'll have written the greatest xanth novel known to man! Anthony: [reading paper] "the color of her... blanties?!" Anthony: [furious] stupid 12 year old!!

Anthony: take it from me, steve Anthony: farming out the actual writing to random 12 year olds really leaves you time for the important stuff in life Anthony: [huffs pair of panties] King: and you don't find the writing suffers? Anthony: [huffs panties again]