Midnight Pals: Bon Mots (Patreon)

Oscar Wilde: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the ugly paintingWilde: but firstWilde: some patented oscar wilde bon motsWilde: the only thing worse than being talked about isWilde: go ahead, guessMary Shelley: i ain't playing this game

Oscar Wilde: I hear some of you don't appreciate my bon motsPoe: oh erPoe: it's not that oscarPoe: it's just thatPoe:Poe: clive do you want to pitch in here?Barker: no you're doing fineBarker: haha

Wilde: what's the problem? Poe: oh it's not you oscar, it's usPoe: its just that your wit is too droll for this audienceWilde: really? too droll?Wilde:Wilde: you're just saying that to be nicePoe: no! NO of course not

Oscar Wilde: okay okay just give me another chanceWilde: now this bon motWilde: this one i think you're gonna likeWilde: [clears throat]Wilde: so why is it that you park on a driveway andBarker: BOOOWilde: drive on aBarker: BOOOOOOO

Wilde: ok ok just waitWilde: this next oneWilde: oh boyWilde: this next one's gonna killWilde: you ready for this one?? alright here it comesWilde: what's black and white and red all overBarker: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Barker: BOOOOOOOO!!!Wilde: [tugging collar] woof tough crowd tonightWilde: steve must be out sickWilde: better bring out the big gunsWilde: ok so there's this traveling insurance salemanWilde: and there's this farmer with these 3 horny daughters

Barker: BOOOPoe: cliveBarker: what? he sucksPoe: yeah butPoe: god, for pity's sake, clivePoe: he's dying out there

King: look, oscar, maybe it's just that your style of humor isn't right for this crowdWilde: what kind of humor do you guys likeKing: well, we're all horror writersKing: so kim newman

Kim Newman: [pulling up in a comically undersized bicycle as 'Entrance of the Gladiators' plays on calliope] DID SOMEONE SAY MY NAME???

Kim Newman: good evening ladies and germs [rimshot]Newman: i just flew in from san francisco and boy are my arms tired [rimshot]Newman: [waggles eyebrow, bowtie spins]Barker: now THAT'S comedyPoe: he's done it again!Koontz: i like THESE bon mots!Wilde: