Midnight Pals: Aliens (Patreon)

Whitley Strieber: big news, Dreamland grey wolves!!! Strieber: i have Strieber: here in my hand Strieber: proof of alien existence Strieber: it turns out Strieber: the truth WAS out there after all!

Strieber: check this out Barker: it's a photo Strieber: yes Barker: of one of those spirit halloween foam rubber aliens Strieber: y-NO Barker: yeah i've seen these, the eyes light up when you stand on the sensor Koontz: wow! real aliens!

Strieber: no you fools! look, to the untrained eye, this might look like a mere halloween prop Strieber: but perhaps you didn't notice Strieber: this alien has an absolutely massive vagina Barker: Barker: tell us more Poe: clive Barker: no edgar i know you want to hear this too

Strieber: see, that's the thing Strieber: most people don't know that aliens have huge vaginas Strieber: just gargantuan King: he's right, actually King: i did not know that King: i'm learning so much today

Strieber: you usually don't see the gigantic yawning vaginas Strieber: on account of the fact that they're usually wearing those sparkly silver jumpsuits with the zipper up the back Strieber: but Strieber: you know those aliens that abducted me? Strieber: real big flappy pussies

Strieber: i showed this photo to my friend uri geller Strieber: yeah and he agreed with me it's totally real Strieber: and it's not like uri geller could be wrong about something like that King: Poe: Lovecraft: Barker: Koontz:

Poe: come on whitley, how do you know this is real at all? Strieber: as it just so happens, i've asked an expert to look at it Strieber: someone who spends all her time obsessively looking at genitals JK Rowling: hello children

Rowling: [looking at photo] yessss Rowling: now thiss iss an adult female alien that i would allow to ussse a resstroom Rowling: i can tell this vagina iss real Rowling: we can alwaysss tell Rowling: because of the pixelsss and alssso having sseen quite a few vaginasss in my time

Rowling: thisss vagina isss real Barker: it's very clearly made of foam rubber Rowling: EXCUSSSE ME Rowling: i think i know what a vagina looksss like Rowling: like i wouldn't immediately recognize a sssingle hole usssed for copulatory, excremental and urinary functionsss!