Midnight Pals: Happy Birthday (Patreon)

Stephen King: guys you know its mary's birthday today? King: we should get her something Poe: how about the calcified heart of her boyfriend? King: no no King: she already has one of those Poe: that is a pickle Poe: what do you get for the girl who has everything?

Barker: you guys getting mary a birthday present? King: what did you get her? Barker: i got her the calcified heart of her boyfriend Lovecraft: b-but clive! Lovecraft: i ALSO got her the calcified heart of her boyfriend! Barker: Barker: well shit

King: well gosh darn it King: did anyone here NOT get her the calcified heart of her boyfriend? Poe: Lovecraft: Barker: Koontz: King: how many boyfriends does she have? Barker: its a really big polycule, steve

Mary Shelley: sup fuckers King: happy birthday mary! King: now i know you don't like us making a big deal about your birthday King: but we all got together & got you something we thought you'd really like Shelley: is it a coffin King: no it's JUST KIDDING OF COURSE ITS A COFFIN!

King: see we thought this would be the perfect thing, you could be morose, contemplate the walking death that is life- Shelley: this has 4 sides King: what? Shelley: this is a casket, steve King: there's a difference? Edward Gorey: we prefer to call it an America Box