Midnight Pals: The Fourth Estate (Patreon)

[mysterious circle of robed figures] JK Rowling: hello children Rowling: today we retire jesssse ssssingal Jesse Singal: but mommy! Rowling: he is a ssspent force Rowling no one can take him ssseriousssly anymore Singal: but mommy--!

Singal: mommy no! I'm still relevant! give me another chance mommy! Rowling: you've had your moment jesssse Rowling: but the transsss know your game now and now they won't talk to you Rowling: plusss all thossse sssibilantsss in your name are jussst really hard to pronounce

Rowling: tonight i pressent to you Rowling: the NEW jessse ssingal Rowling: fassster, ssstronger, more efficient Rowling: over TWICE the concern trolling capabilitiess Rowling: i call her  Rowling: Azeen Ghorayshi All: [polite clapping]

Azeen Ghorayshi: so i know that jamie reed was exposed as a lying crank months ago Ghorayshi: but what my article supposes is Ghorayshi: what if she wasn't?

Ghorayshi: listen, i'm a journalist Ghorayshi: i follow the story wherever it goes Ghorayshi: and if the story turns out to be that Jamie Reed is a weirdo loon, then I guess I just have to write a story about how she's got valid concerns Ghorayshi: that's the 4th estate, baby

Ghorayshi: listen, if i have to betray the trust of 100 vulnerable families to launder the reputation of one lying crank Ghorayshi: i mean, that's just my duty as a journalist Ghorayshi: also why does everyone keep sending me that one onion article

Ghorayshi: And that's how I became your humble narrator Ghorayshi: To be living so easy and free Ghorayshi: Expect you think that I should be haunted Ghorayshi: But it never really bothers me

Singal: ooo you think you're so great!! i was here first Ghorayshi: get lost kid you're yesterday's news Ghorayshi: now if you'll excuse me Ghorayshi: some of us crackerjack newshounds have trans youth to endanger

Singal: [looking under a rock] hello? hello? Singal: are there any trans youth down there who will still talk to me Singal: p-please Singal: i need the appearance of balance!! Singal: anyone?