Midnight Pals: Back in the Fold (Patreon)

[mysterious circle of robed figures] JK Rowling: hello children Rowling: sssay hello to graham lineham Linehan [wearing tinfoil hat]: freemasons run the country Jesse Singal: but mommy Rowling: i know we were all pretending he didn't exisst for a while Rowling: that changes now

Rowling: sssee hiss extreme levelsss of divorcednesss usssed to be a liability to our hate movement Rowling: but now that being extremely divorced hassss gone mainssstream Rowling: he'sss an asssset! Elon Musk: eyyy you know da jews, they maka my wife leave me

Rowling: to think that only a few yearsss ago, cccyberssstalking, death threatsss and appearing drunk on live televisssion were consssidered gouache Rowling: but today, there'sss no bottom! Rowling: and itsss all thankss to your tirelesssss effortsss! Rowling: well done, graham!

Linehan: don't worry, i have a new plan against the trans Rowling: yesss? Linehan: i'm going to rally father ted fans Linehan: see, if you liked a sit com back in the 90s, then you're obligated to join my hate movement Linehan: there's no better way to connect with today's youth

Linehan: Father Ted fans will flock to my aid Linehan: there's no one more likely to be on board with hating queers than someone who liked a comedy that made fun of catholicism

Linehan: after all, think of the success that you had turning all your harry potter fans into loyal terfs Rowling: uhhhh Linehan: i mean, they did all fall in line right? Rowling: Rowling: Rowling:

Rowling: look, i don't need harry potter fansss Rowling: i have new fanss Rowling: fanss of me Rowling: the adoration of the world'sss children meansss nothing to me compared to the adoration of 12 mumsssnet possstersss named rossemary

Rowling: i might have given up the love of the world'ss children but look what i gained Maya Forstater: i'm gonna get that cartoon alien one of these days, i promise dark lord!! just watch! Julie Bindel: [red tape across mouth] mmm Rowling: yeah i Rowling: i really gained a lot

Allison Bailey: [sweating, desperately clutching briefcase] i won't drop it... i won't drop it Tatsuya Ishida: i'm drawing communist lesbian joe biden with a huge dick Elon Musk: mama mia dissa post issa banned for not being racist! oh!! Rowling: yeah Rowling: really gained a lot