Midnight Pals: Playground of Death (Patreon)

Aron Beauregard: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the playground of death Beauregard: so a rich lady invites these kids to test out a new playground Beauregard: with all sorts of dangerous equipment Beauregard: and i don't mean ziplines

King: finally! getting back to our origins! King: see, that's the problem with playgrounds nowadays King: they're way too safe King: and yeah they need to bring back ziplines! King: those were awesome! Poe: they were pretty cool Barker: they fuckin ruled

King: so when you talk about a dangerous playground King: you mean she's bringing back woodchips right? King: getting rid of that dumb weird foam rubber Poe: oh i HATE that stuff King: see? that's exactly what i'm talking about

King: kids hate these new overly safe playgrounds! King: right, joe? Joe Hill: dad i really have no opinion on playground safety King: c'mon joe back me up King: it's boring right? Hill: dad i'm not a baby anymore! King: joe thinks they're boring Hill: daaaad!!

King: see, in my day, a couple skinned knees were the price of entry to a playground Beauregard: no i'm not talking about woodchips steve Beauregard: i mean a playground that can kill you King: King: so you mean like King: it DOES have a zipline???

Beauregard: no i mean- King: see, our local playground used to have this super cool zipline King: but they thought it was too dangerous, so they lowered it King: now your feet drag! King: they totally ruined it!

Beauregard: this is a playground that kills Beauregard: like its got slides with sawblades Beauregard: and there's spikes in the see sawBeauregard: and the sandbox is full of acid Beauregard: and the tetherball is on fire

Beauregard: and you know those weird spinny tic tac toe panel things? Beauregard: what if it was made of poison King: King: oh wow actually that might be too much of a recorrect there aron King: that does not sound up to code at all

Koontz: b-but the kids are ok right? Beauregard: Beauregard: Poe: aron just say they're ok Poe: for dean Beauregard: they're ok Koontz: oh good! Beauregard: [whispering] i'll tell you all the real story after he goes to bed