Midnight Pals: COPS (Patreon)

Max Booth III: hey john check it out Booth: i named a character after you in The Last Haunt John Baltisberger: oh yeah? which character? Booth: haha you're gonna laugh Booth: hahaha Baltisberger: Booth: hahahaha

Booth: so i haha Booth: i named a cop after you Booth: hahaha Baltisberger: a cop? Booth: isn't that funny? hahaha Booth: you! a cop! Booth: hahaha Baltisberger: Baltisberger: i never considered this before Booth: haha- oh

Baltisberger: a cop Baltisberger: [holding up a bobby helmet as if it was horatio's skull] is this my curse Baltisberger: or Baltisberger: my destiny???

Stephen King: so what i'm saying is King: in a fight King: i think dracula could totally beat up frankenstein Mary Shelley: [flipping switchblade] is that so steve Baltisberger: [busting in] wot's all this ere now, break it up! break it up!

Baltisberger: break it up or i'll have to bring you all down to the station! Mary Shelley: fuck off Baltisberger: ooo! Baltisberger: resisting arrest! Baltisberger: that's a 10-87 Baltisberger: [writing in little cop notebook] i'm gonna write that down in my little cop notebook

King: john what are you doing? Baltisberger: that's OFFICER baltisberger to you, punk Baltisberger: and nobody's sweetheart! Baltisberger: you kids got a permit for this campfire?

Baltisberger: i'm afraid i'm going to have to write you a ticket Mary Shelley: nuts to you copper Baltisberger: whoa! that's a second offense! Baltisberger: and there are 2 of you here Baltisberger: so i'm pretty sure this falls under RICO

Baltisberger: and furthermore Baltisberger: what's that smell Fitz James O'Brien: [rapidly waving away smoke] nothing O'Brien: it's nothing Baltisberger: are there DRUGS here

Mary Shelley: i've had enough of this Barker: ah here, let me take care of it Barker: hey do you think that drug  Barker: is fentanyl Baltisberger: what?!?! Baltisberger: too late! i saw it! Baltisberger: officer down!!! [Baltisberger collapses]

King: how did you do that? Barker: oh, it's easy Barker: cops go insane if they perceive fentanyl Barker: it's like the king in yellow for them or something Lovecraft: i-i would never Lovecraft: i back the blue