Midnight Pals: Hugo Drama (Patreon)

Hugo Gernsback: hey everyone its me, hugo gernsbackGernsback: editor of Amazing Stories and namesake of the hugo awardsGernsback: perhaps you've heard of them?Clive Barker: oh buddyBarker: buddyBarker: we've heard all about them ha ha

Stephen King: they're named after you? i thought they were named after victor hugo Gernsback: ha ha a common mistakeGernsback: but that's fineGernsback: i'm not mad at all that victor hugo keeps getting the creditGernsback: i think its funnyGernsback: in fact i'm laughing

Gernsback: ah yes my precious hugo awards!Gernsback: the most prestigious award in science fiction and fantasy!Gernsback: a place for serious businessGernsback: certainly no room for shenanigans hereGernsback: no room for tomfooleryGernsback: no room for clownish buffoonery

Gernsback: The Hugo -- an award whose very name rings with integrity & honor!  Gernsback: it is no mere nebula! no paltry clarke!Gernback: the stoker, the howard, the lambda - none can compare!Gernsback: the L Ron hubbard writers of the future award? pah! dust before the hugo!

Gernsback: only the choicest cuts of science fiction and fantasy would ever achieve the lofty hugo awardGernsback: an award forever untainted by shenanigans or hijinks!Gernsback: now to take a big sip of coffee and read this  file 770 report!

Gernsback: what the--?!Gernsback: my beautiful hugos!!! tainted by the foul stench of corruption!!!Clive Barker: yeah boy i bet victor hugo's just sick about itGernsback:Barker: just sick about what they did to his awardGernsback:Barker: ha haPoe: clive leave him alone

Gernsback: my hugo!!! you were supposed to be a thing of beauty... not this monstrosity!Dean Koontz: gosh he's so sad about his awardKoontz: do you think it would cheer him up if i gave him my nickelodean kids choice award?Poe: i think that would be a very nice gesture dean

Chris M Barkley: [thrusting microphone] Mr gernsback! mr gernsback! a statement for the press?Jason Sanford: [thrusting microphone] how do you respond to the allegations about your award mr gernsback?Gernsback: confound these intrepid newshounds of the 4th estate!

Gernsback: [wiping brow] don't worry, we will be taking measures to fix thisBarkley: what are you going to do mr gernsback?Sanford: the people demand an answer mr gernsback!Gernsback: we'll uhGernsback: we'll nominate an essay called 'Dave McCarty Can Fuck Off Into the Sun'

Gernsback: what a debacle! i cannot believe my good name will now forever be associated with such shady practices!HP Lovecraft: hey when are you gonna pay me for my story you ran?Gernsback: new phone, who dis?

Gernsback: you know who this really hurts?Gernsback: worse than the nominees secretly disqualified for politics?Gernsback: worse than the entirety of Chinese science fiction secretly disqualified for being Chinese?Gernsback: worse than the winners whose awards are now tainted?

Gernsback: the person that this hurts most of allGernsback: is clearly bitter karellaGernsback: for reasons i can't articulateGernsback: everyone should immediately go and heap conciliatory praise on bitter karellaGernsback: truly the most wronged person of all

Bitter Karella: [bravely holding back tears] no no it's not about meBitter Karella: [voice cracking] my only thought is for the hugo community who has been through... so much...Bitter Karella: [stoically gazing into distance] they're the REAL heroes

Gernsback: look how bitter karella keeps a brave face... for our sake!King: god bitter karella is so brave... and so modest!Poe: truly a great goblinPoe: possibly the greatestKoontz: why? what did they do?Poe: dean! show some respect!