Midnight Pals: Fan fic (Patreon)

[mysterious circle of robed figures]JK Rowling: hello childrenRowling: i have excellent newsssAllison Bailey: yes! yes!Julie Bindel: yes! tell us more dark lordHelen Joyce: yes tell us!Rowling: excellent...Rowling: harry potter related news!Bailey:Bindel:Joyce: YES!! YES!!!!

Rowling: they're making a new harry potter ssseriessssRowling: you might think that i've sssaid everything that needsss to be sssaid about harry potterRowling: well you'd be wrong!Rowling: people are hungry for more about the boy wizard!Joyce: ravenously hungry!!Joyce: god yes please more harry potter!Joyce: GOD i'm so hot for more harry potter contentJoyce: i need it in my body now!!!

Rowling:Joyce:Rowling:Joyce: i mean umJoyce: [mopping brow] boy is it hot in here or what?Joyce: [mopping sternum] is anyone else hot?Rowling:Rowling: anyway

Allison Bailey: [spaghetti falls out of briefcase]Bailey: oh god oh god everyone's looking at meBailey: if only there was some kind of diversionHelen Joyce: [harry potter erotic fanfiction falls out of sleeve]Bailey: ah yes this will do nicely

Rowling:Joyce:Rowling:Joyce:Joyce: i can explain thisJoyce: it's not at all weird when i read this in public!

Joyce: look, sure, maybe i was reading underage noncon harry potter erotic fan fiction in publicJoyce: but is that REALLY any worse than trans people existing in public?Joyce: think about it

Joyce: now i know that it looks like i was reading erotic harry potter fanfictionJoyce: BUTJoyce: actuallyJoyce: clearly this is a trans plot to discredit meJoyce: by putting that harry potter erotic fanfiction in my sleeveJoyce: you know to make it LOOK like i'm really into hot hot draco/hermione underage noncon actionJoyce: which, to be clearJoyce: i am not

Joyce: you gotta believe me!Rowling: of courssse i believe youJoyce: you do?Rowling: itsss really the only logical explanationRowling: it mussst be thosse wily transssRowling: how do they do it???Rowling: alwaysss two sstepsss ahead

Helen Joyce: [reading erotic harry potter fan fic and shaking her head the whole time so the people on the train knows she disagrees with it]

Kathleen Stock: oh yeah um by the wayStock: all that erotic bluberrification fanfiction that you saw me readingStock: that was also a trans plotBailey: oh! oh! yeah! and that spaghetti? that was the trans againRowling: they've got usss ssssurrounded!!