Midnight Pals: Dogs 2 (Patreon)

Dodie Smith: i've got another story about pongo and missusKing: ah do the dogs go on another fun adventure?Smith: no this time aliens put all humans to sleep and give dogs psychic powersKing:Lovecraft:Barker:Poe:Koontz: WOWWWWKoontz: BEST STORY EVER!

Smith: ok so all humans are catatonic now and there's only psychic dogsSmith: and the dogs think 'oh i bet cruella de vil is behind this'Smith: 'we should go murder her'Smith: 'like, we should just go fucking murder her'Smith: 'put a fuckin bullet in her head'

Smith: but the dogs find out that cruella de vil isn't actually behind itSmith: so that puts a crimp in their plan to murder herSmith: then sirius the dog star comes to earthSmith: like the literal star

Smith: you know, he has the super power to appear as any dog breedKoontz: [sullenly] i wish i had that powerFrank Belknap Long: dean remind me to talk to you after the story's doneKoontz: no i don't want a fursuit, i want to do it for real!!

Smith: so sirius the dog star is all 'god i'm so lonely, i wish i had a dog'Smith: 'i wish i had ALL the dogs'Smith: 'would you dogs like to come live with me in space'Smith: 'like where laika lives'Smith: 'in a big nebula with a lot of space to run around'

Smith: so sirius is all 'dogs of earth, would you like to come live with me in space'Smith: 'WHO WANTS TO GO OUT TO SPACE??? WHO WANTS TO GO OUT TO SPACE???' Smith: 'WHOS A GOOD BOY??? WHOS A GOOD BOY???'

Smith: sirius is all 'you should all come to space and live with me in space'Smith: 'you'll know true bliss in space'Smith: 'and also you'll avoid complete eradication in nuclear apocalyse'Smith: 'cuz, oh yeah, that's gonna happen btw'

Smith: if they choose to go to spaceSmith: then all memory of dogs on earth will be erasedKoontz: noSmith: no one will remember that dogs ever existedKoontz: NO!Smith: it will be as if earth was always a dog-free planetKoontz: NOOO!!!!!!

Smith: now the dogs of earth have to make a weighty decisionSmith: will they go to space or will they stay loyal to their masters?Koontz: oh god oh godKoontz: please say they stay!!Smith: so the dogs decide...Koontz: yeah?? yeah???

Smith: the dogs decide...Koontz: WHAT DO THEY DECIDE!?!?!?Koontz: I NEED TO KNOW!!!Smith: the dogs decide...Koontz: AUGHHHH!!!!!

Smith: the dogs decide to stay on earth because, even though earth is imperfect, it carries the promise that maybe, someday, every good dog can find a homeKoontz: b-but they're ALL good dogs!Smith: exactlyKoontz:Koontz: whoaaaaaa

King: wow uhKing: that's some storyKing: not what i expectedBarker: oh that's british kids lit for youBarker: it's all bonkersRoald Dahl: ee hee heeBarker: i meanBarker there ya goBarker: case in point

King: really? all of itBarker: oh yeah trust me[meanwhile]Beatrix Potter: my story is mr thumpybunny minds the shopEnid Blyton: my story is Giggles the happy gnome runs afoul of an irishmanJK Rowling:Rowling: you know what i'm going to sssay