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Mixed Bag of Holding: America's Next Top Minion (Patreon)

Published:
2025-02-28 20:34:41
Edited:
2025-02-28 20:36:04
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Downloads

Content

Welcome to the show critics are calling "a product that is currently available!" Using Caldwell's Instant Minion system, Murph, Emily and Jake create low-level monsters who must compete in a series of challenges for the honor of becoming The Dark Lord's Number One Grunt.

To try out Caldwell's system, use below image! (PDF attached below).

CREDITS

Editing and Sound Design by Caldwell Tanner

"Ol Guppy" by Emily Axford 

Files

Comments

RavensBinch

A new episode, short rest and mixed bag? You ensorcel us

kasey newell

An episode and a mixed bag? Best day of work ever

zo perry

i have never clicked a naddpod notification this fast oh my god what fresh hell are we in for

zo perry

oh. minions like grunts, not minions like lil yellow dudes. still goated 🫶🏻

Jay Barber

My work day has been non stop NADDPOD, this is so clutch

RavensBinch

Same, I'm on a 12 hour tonight and this is exactly what I need

G_raveyard

Fucking absolutely perfect timing for me who's been spending all week moving out of my childhood home with my mom cause my parents are getting divorced.

surprise slug

where the FUCK is the flying sword

Zack McCarville

Just started ep 3, and now looks like the rest of my night is booked out

jackalope503

I always love these glimpses into the sweet blue hole that is the mind of our Duncle

Declan Konesky

FUCKING HELL THIS IS BRILLIANT CHAOS ON PAPER I'm so glad I had a vasectomy and took an edible this morning just to get to listen to this

Scotty Beverages

Honestly thought by the title this was gonna be about THE Minions.

Margaret Zenke

This system is brilliant I’m about to unleash some truly bizarre little guys on my players

ZZYZZXX

So glad I’m not the only one that thought we were getting a Kevin Bob and Stuart 1 shot based off the title

Brian Edwards

ha ha mine is a Pathetically Horny Goblin. Feels right.

Cameron Baker

“No deeces for us meeces” is an immediate banger quote

Krystine W.

I want random encounter random minions in Skaldova.

Shane C

Nothing is better than Murph’s “little guy” voice

Ryan

This is an awesome, reusable concept. I’m here for it.

Sam

I have SO many dishes to do thank you guys so much

jaydon

i no joke thought we were adding minions from dispicible me to naddpod lore

Matt Crowther

I fully missed that Jake rolled pathetically horny, so the whole time I was very confused on why he was so horny 🤣🤣🤣

Justin Cockrell

Murph is cursed to always try to play a cute little guy that always deteriorates into an insane bloodthirsty tyrant 😂

Lauren Hartz

Murph's lil guy voice going "I fucking hate you guys. You all suck" is hilarious. Also Jake's multiple nat 20 res-erections were bonkers!

anna

I know my brain is broken because it wasn't until I was like 3 minutes in that I realized that they didn't mean the yellow minions

Evan

Need more of these little freaks... maybe they can become canon Trinyvale characters for another mixed bag oneshot?

Matthew Bibb

By far the hardest I’ve laughed in a long time

ksm11

You'd think after all these years I would have learned not to listen to these episodes whenever I'm trying to eat something, I almost choked on my Coffee when Smallby tried to steal the Halfling from Clark. I simultaneously loved and hated everyone of these characters, absolutely perfect

Erin Gardiner

It took me 4 minutes and 21 seconds to realize this wasn’t about Illumination Entertainment’s hit movie Minions

Claudia

crying laughing

Lori Anderson

This was absolutely stupid and perfect and I loved it. Truly wild energy from everyone!

Neil Dutton

I await the dark commands of our lord Small-B

Zanna

I am a robot dressed in leather daddy attire, with 29 hit points, 16 AC, +3 STR, and -1 CON, +1 Damage Modifier. I also crit on 19 and 20.

Jenna

SHUT UPPPPP I love mixed bag tier thank u angels

Martian

"Gob is good" 🤣 I swear if there ever comes a time someone isn't stanning Emily Axford, it's because I (and Brian Murphy) have been slaim!

wick

Smallby resigning to getting trolled by Emily was so hilarious

wick

This is why we subscribe to the mixed bag tier.

Matt Hartt

Glad to see the return of some good old fashioned murph rage

Mich Blackie

Jesus Murph you need new friends 😂

Ally

I’m an Imp who is clearly on the verge of financial ruin, 12HP, 15 AC, +4 STR, -1 WIS, +1 Damage mod. I can turn invisible once per day, presumably to escape my creditors.

Transfemmes4murph

I’m a Talking Ape, on the brink of Financial ruin, AC14, 15HP, Extra attack with +2 to STR, -2 to CHA. Meet Kevin Damply 🫠

Yuncle Vanya

Submitting this episode in full to D&D court

Thomas Jager

I immediately had to go and make a spreadsheet with formulas where you enter you rolls and flaw (and ability modifier to increase for Human), and it lists out the HP, AC, ability mods, damage roll, etc. to have easy minion generation! I might also write a script to generate "full" stat blocks based on the rolls.

Hammy

So many faction points were lost this day

Gotteswaise

This was incredible, thank you Caldwell’s mania

Hostage4hire

Emily’s minion just has me picturing a goblin Sam Sulek lmao

Hthr

Did anyone else think that this was going to involve minions from Despicable Me? 😬

SlainSigny

#clarkgotdonedirty and he would’ve liked it that way

Logan Carpenter

This has been the hardest I’ve laughed in a while. Justice for Clark Lisbon.

jackrabbit

smalbe my wrathful king (murph rage in that voice was absolutely fantastic to hear)

Huascar Holguin

I’m on Murph’s side on this one. It became a kangaroo court of nonsense towards the end. I wanted to see Caldwell’s events not just some weird PvP fight at the end

Mhollabackk

Agreed. The game was set up to be a competition and Emily kind of ruined it by 1) deciding to give herself disadvantage, 2) making her character stupid, and 3) initiating PVP. This could be a dungeon court case submitted by either the DM or the other players, and the judges would rule against Emily.

Huascar Holguin

Whoa I didn’t say all that. Jake and Caldwell had equal if not more influence on how insane it got and if anything it would be Murph vs The Whole Table. No Emily slander here

spiffygrooves

This is one of the most ridiculous pieces of media they’ve made I laughed so hard 11/10

Patrick Sullivan

How dare you, Murph. We flip DVDs, not coins.

Smiththebat

WE NEED AN EMERGENCY MURPH TALK ON THE INSANE ENDING TO THE WWE ELIMINATION CHAMBER.

Justin Cockrell

I really need to hear Murph’s response to what just happened at Elimination Chamber

Jeremy G

Murph what are your opinions on John Cena turning heel and backing The Rock

Cler Henley

what the fuck was that... 😂

Leil Houndes

Lullabies from the Wild Side has become my background music for kcd 2 and it’s been so lovely

Bryan Salazar

To be fair, he started it by taking Clark Lisbon’s halfling.

Gustavius

"Res-erection" best line of the ep.

Nadia Brady

I’m living for Smallby lmao

Jamie Matthews

Access to Mixed Bag is easily the best $10 i spend every month. Listening to Murph rage in his "lil guy" voice brings me joy that is truly priceless.

Mortimer Lunch

Damn, Murph was an EXTRA hater today 😅 poor Clark Lisbon

Mortimer Lunch

(playfully) I counter that Murph tried to steal Clark’s tied up halfling. That pretty much ignited the PvP. D&D court episode ran by Lou, Zach, Iffy, and Ally judging this case would be amazing.

Britnatz

Great job Caldwell, such a fun table to roll on!

Kevin Stefanowicz

Really it needs a full episode history lesson to make them all understand the significance

Theo Englund

i NEED to know how murph feels about the John Cena Heel turn

Alexander Lawhorne

"Is anyone going back to Des Moines" is the greatest line I've heard in a while

Franny McCabe-Bennett

This was so fun!!! It has to get a reboot on a different network! I could listen to a million episodes

Huascar Holguin (edited)

Comment edits

2026-10-05 21:00 An excellent point! I’m not convinced all of them are at fault lol
2025-03-03 14:06 An excellent point! I’m now convinced all of them are at fault lol

An excellent point! I’m now convinced all of them are at fault lol

Ellie P

Murph’s lil guy voice makes me so gleeful.

Cooper Mccrory

Murph being pissed as a tiny guy is so funny. I’m gonna need all Murph salt to come in this form from now on

BomVenusaur

This is so funny😂. Incredible idea Caldwell, incredible execution everyone

Pali Endi

Did we just learn how Jake proposed? 🤣 38 mins in

James Cherenzia

Hearing the venom and bile of an angry Murph in his lil guy voice was incredible, no notes lmao

Tony Cappellino

I’ve been lobbying for a Murph-run History of WWE ep and it sounds like now is the time to

moon._.shroom

If there is no t-shirt saying "GOB IS GOOD" in the merch store, I'm calling my paralegal pawsum !

Nick Neverman

A royal rumble filled solely with minions made with this system would be beautiful

Scrumblina Brumblina

This patreon is far and away the single greatest source of streaming content. I cannot express this enough. Love everything you all post. Gob is good.

October Jones

D&Deople, best name for a Pawn Shop in Waterdeep: Best I Can Do or Pawn Hub?

KingHalt

So excited to use this sheet in my personal campaign!

Victoria Shotts

Caldwell is an absolute adorable dingus and I wish he was my older brother. I love your sense of humor dude

Robert Zorzi

Omg halfway through I was absolutely dying, Jesus Christ I can finally breathe

Bubble-gun 🔫💖

Was cryyy laughing for the last 20 minutes. Is anyone going to Des Moines killed me

Julia Comer

Des Moines mention, but at what cost ✊️😩

Ryan

And here I sit refreshing Patreon looking at the previous post wishing it were new, like opening a fridge hoping something had spawned in from the previous time you looked…

Slappy Dave

Queue Powerwolf's Resurrection by Erection for the bullywug legend Clark from Lisben hahaha

Grass

Teresa Lisbon from the mentalist is pissed off

James Andrade

Smallbee is my spirit monster and I will insert him into all of my games forever lol

Vincent Wood

Playing this system tonight and I'm so pumped

Excelsidorks!

The wild, and humorous, uses of my last name had me blushing 😂 (It's Gob lmao)

Cayde

So unhinged and so so funny. Love you guys

Sarah Sullivan

Classic shenanigans that immediately make Murph mad are always my favorite 🤣

Nic Q

This is one of the most unhinged things I’ve listened to omg. Glorious.

JuicyKiwi

My best friend and I are playing Baldurs Gate 3 and they made a Circle of Spores Druid with red skin and vitiligo and a poofy hairstyle. He’s just a cute lil guy who has twenty pairs of glasses okay, raising other lil mushroom zombie guys to also be cute lil guys in glasses…

J. Gro

Sleep-deprived Caldwell Tanner = unemployed Ben Wyatt from Parks and Rec!! Side note: there is no traffic cone emoji to represent the Cones of Dunshire. Tragic.

J. Gro

That sucks. Hope things get better for you.

J. Gro

I rolled two, to start... J'Miah, a tattoo-covered bullywug. HP - 25, AC - 13. +1 int, - 1 str, with a fire bolt cantrip. +1 to hit/damage. Shelly the Skelly, so hot (literally) she glows. Also got firebolt, so I imagine her bones as orange like burning logs... but bones. HP - 25, AC - 15. +3 int, - 2 cha. +3 to hit, +2 damage. I think being a skeleton is punishment for her life as a mean girl, represented by her bad cha and sick burns (firebolt).

Pankkeli

You are good

Kyle Veach

Somehow I missed this one when it came out, holy shit what a gem!

tori

close enough! welcome back Krudbert and Hellbiscuit (i love a lil guy crash out)

ak

I genuinely thought Caldwell made a Minions movie game system from the title & description. It took me until reading in the d100 chart that they can be human to realize it was a minions system (brilliant!!) & not a Minions system

sam s.

smallby voice is immediately at the top of the “things i care about” list

sam s.

not a single unremarkable line delivery in this thing

AJ C

My brain is so poisoned I put off listening to this episode because I thought it was about generating OC minions from despicable me

nvsblty

i love this

kaylee w

goat mixed bag

Brandon Rowand

I rolled one and named him Leadcap, an awakened mushroom covered in strange tattoos. My main ability is Strength with improved critical. HP - 12, AC - 16, with a main modifier of +6 and a damage modifier of +4. Because I rolled so bad on health, I took my flaw in CON. I honestly think Leadcap the Shroom could wreck some minions lmfao

Mark

Wow. This alone is worth $10 a month in perpetuity. Absolute madness