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D&D Court: Monkey Paws and Ballin' DMs (Patreon)

Published:
2025-07-25 01:47:44
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

Dungeon Court is back in session! Join Justices Murphy, Tanner and Axford, along with Bailiff Jake, as they pass judgement on your trials at the table!

CREDITS:

Sound Mixing and Editing by Trevor Lyon

Dungeon Court Theme Song by Sam Weiller

Files

Comments

Panner_Samuel

Let’s go let’s go I JUST WAS ABOUT TO CHECK

Alexander Ray

Dice Christ has blessed us, a Thursday night ‘Sode!

clerby

i had a bad day and i have work so early tomorrow and i don’t care and im listening now and thank you

Isaiah

Perfect way to get an early start to the weekend, praise Dice Christ!!!

Stef

I needed this ‘sode, this evening, thanks 2 Crew 👏🙏

Luke B

Thanks

Cicero the jester

Thank dice Christ I happened to be up at 3 in the morning

Xanian Jamfalcon

I got a jury summons and I wish it was for Dungeon Court.

🐧lost penguin familiar

Regaurding the first case: why did they take dmg for rolling a 50/50 % dice? That's just flipping a dvd... (also there are some moments when rolling and not knowing what it's for is not fun)

clerby

“i think the penis weapon is a nonstarter” made me forget about the fact apple lost my scripts, thank you murph 🫶🏽

beefclapper420

She Baliff J’ornkin it on my justice

kyle crim

It was actually a stranger things inspired session for my friends! If Jaffar gets out don’t worry I’ll dunk on him and send him back into the lamp!

Cody Zimmer

Thank you Caldwell! You said what I was thinking about the Wizard. Like... dude, you are still a Wizard with all your spells 😆 You're good.

Blaine Moses

Seems like they get later and later with the episodes on thursdays

Vaelyhn

Caldwell is correct. Atrus was the good son to a shit dad, and had two shit sons.

Kingzley Sparkman

Nothing helps me through a stressful week like a new episode of Dungeon Court 🙏🏾

Kaidan C

Caldwell, I just want to personally say as a fan from way back I really appreciate the 8-bit book club deep cuts

Benjamin P Parson Gomberg

So using the Wish spell for things other than duplicating another spell does incur necrotic damage (that can’t be negated or reduced) for casting spells afterwards (1d10 per spell level). It’s not a Monkey’s Paw, it’s just RAW. Casting another Wish spell after the first like that means 9d10 damage. The 33% roll is the chance after casting Wish like this that you lose the ability to cast it altogether. It actually sounds like the DM was a bit more lenient on Wish rules, and had the 33% be for the Necrotic damage, but still allowed them to use the wishes even though they failed.

Ashe

To the basketball player, if you think there is any chance of them getting into it you can go the Meme route, start jokey and dumb until people buy in, than hit them with the emotional good stuff, like the memes of things like Bingbong the imp, but than you kill the imp and people are genuinely sad. Hook them by pandering to the dumb and funny, which will also shows how flexible dumb and fun dnd can be, than hit'em with the emotions. But thats just an option, it probably won't work out, but that is basically how the adventure zone started...Travis started them playing got to a very fantasy sounding npc, his brothers eyes glazed so he just started making the npc names and things dumber, until they got hooked...so it can occasionally work.

heavy harry

Anyone else scream "GEN! ITS FUCKING GEN!!!"

Ashe

Definitely should have just flipped return of jafar on dvd...

rollinginthecrits

To the basketball player - maybe if you can get them to play again, rather than go standard D&D, could you maybe do like a space jam style esque mini campaign? where they have to get the team together, get to the basketball game and then like the big ending combat could be a basketball game? That way you’re combining all the interests

Doctor Ransom

Ha! I have a Bladesinging Wizard player in a Curse of Strahd campaign I DM that can get his AC up to 27 with Bladesong + Shield. I want to kill him so bad.

MoltenPanda

Same, I immediately clocked that reference lol. I yearn for 8 bit book club references, just the stupidest show imaginable and I loved it

MoltenPanda

I knew there was a shit dad involved, the 8 bit book club classic

Mich Blackie

“Its all gone except for Wendy O’Koopas feet…” Peak Emily 😂❤️

TechnoMach

I was going to suggest this! (To the basketball dm) if you have 5$ to spare check out the Space Cram one shot on the World's Beyond Number patreon, using Tournament Arc

Peter Morgan

Caldwell… “it’s a little jafar fetched”??? Are you KIDDING ME?!?! You absolutely genius

jackalope503

The 8BBC callback! Y’all Riven for Myst? 🎵🎶

Salem

jake calling murph by his first name is one of my top ten bits ever fs

Verdigree

I think this is a classic case of Poorly Worded Wish, if the cursed book will kill you if you get rid of it, and you just Wish for the book to be gone, it WOULD still kill you

Jae Beezy

That's an unfortunate acronym

Tavitafish

I love every time this happens, on the newest season of d20 they kept doing it so much Emily threatened to leave the dome

Zack McCarville

Murph saying that playing Halo aged him made my back hurt😂

constantXplorer

All these penis jokes, and nobody even chuckled when Murph said fallacy! PHALLUSY

gerard

Glad for the 8bit book club deep cut

EternalSongbird

To the basketball player feeling self-conscious about fitting in as an athlete amongst dnd nerds: i'd like to politely point you to some people: Travis Willingham of CR, Joe Manganiello, Vin Diesel, Johnny Stanton IV. All tall, big guys, all unapologetically nerdy! I promise your people are out there, if not in your immediate circles! Even over at D20 - had 4 renowned wrestlers playing at the table. I promise - as the NaDDPod crew said: you're pretty much cool by default for wanting to join! You're among a great community, and as Murph said, defo embrace yourself fully in the off season. You'll find where ya sit. Good luck friend!

Cameron Davis

Aboleths are highly intelligent, so it would actually make sense for at least an older one to know the effects of different spells and actions.

Jerome Reed

Anyone else have a duplicate of the Maine feed on their rss? I don't have the short rest. Just two copies of monkey paws and ballin DMs at 1hr6mins

Stephen Fontana

To the DM that has the player mad that they dont do what they want them to do story-wise: Do stars and wishes with the other players there. The problem player would have to say those ridiculous things in front of others and THEY can come to your defense. OR the player will stop saying those things because they will be embarrassed. Otherwise - ignore the texts and say "bring this up at stars and wishes. We will bring it up before we start next session and see how the other's feel"

Laura Bram

Thank you, that’s what I vaguely remembered and I came to the patreon comments to confirm instead of just looking up the properties themselves 🤣

Stephen Fontana

Where do we submit questions for the show? I am new - sorry.

kaylee w

they will post on patreon requesting cases (see the post from a few days ago)

Fox

At least one of those wishes was just to duplicate a spell- Remove Curse. DM made them roll three times, they should have only needed to roll twice.

rosebramblewolf

Point of contention: Vin Diesel is actually pretty short.

katie potato

Theyll send out a message a few days before the planned ep asking for cases so you can just reply to that! Good luck

Hugo Wull

The best part of Return of Jafar is that Jason Alexander is in it as the guy who saves Jafar from the lamp, and he acts exactly how George Costanza would if he found himself in the Aladdin universe.

Hugo Wull

My wife got a jury summon recently but court fell on a day there was a big No Kings protest outside of the courthouse. Thankfully the case was dismissed and she didn’t have to go in!

The Dreaded Orochi

I just want you guys to know that I loved 8-bit book club back in the day. It may not have had a lot of listeners, but I was one of em, damn it.

ACK

Bloodbowl.

Lia

That curse book could have been such an interesting plot hook. That's basically an imprisonment spell with a curse needing a bond. So a level 9 abj v level 9 conj spell breaking. Magic that powerful clashing could have resulted in your freedom but at the cost of the book becoming a powerful relic or weapon itself that a group hellbent on obtaining knowledge of magic that dragon held, or maybe even an interplaner organization that is working to keep the book away from a future timeline occurring.

Corkboard Podcast Network

I wish there was a version of this show where they didn’t pull on their puds for 70% of it, and actually did more than three cases an episode. 🙃

Fox

Wish can duplicate spells without incident- this wish is just a juiced up Remove Curse.

Xavior

The player who told their DMD this isn't how I would have done it, I would have double downed on the petty next session and in front of everyone constantly been like is this okay with you? Is it okay if I have this npc do this? Do I have you permission to let the other players to go talk to who they want??? Ugh so mad over that submission...

Rafael C

idk about duplicates or rss since I listen on the patreon app – that said, the short rest/bonus cases for this one hasn't come out yet!

Rafael C

Sometimes we get truly blessed with Caldwell rolling on the Random Memories Table in his brain and bringing up 8-bit-book-club deep cuts and Jafar lore and setting the tone for the episode! Also, about having lost some of those eps to the hard-drive... no ya didn't. Internet archive sends its regards ((comfortable in commenting this as you are all big defenders of physical media, so I'd imagine you wouldn't want your show becoming lost media))

Wit & Whimsy

Should be noted that Conjure Woodland Beings was changed in the 2024 version. It’s an emanation like Spirit Guardians now so it would absolutely not slow down combat. It’s not a summon 8 pixies spell anymore…

Brian McAree Murphy

Wish really needs removing from the game, it seems so often DMS are just waiting for the chance to monkey paw you l.

Corkboard Podcast Network

I’m saying as a paying customer and consumer of their content, I wish I got more bang for my buck and less (again, LESS, not none) of their self congratulatory bit-chasing.

Spoon_the_anonymous

For the no summon DM, I think a cool option for a fight that large that’s killing so many NPC’s, have players do an insight check. On a success they know they should retreat or something, roll survival, on a high roll everyone lives, middling rolls and below that have to choose which npcs they save and the rest die

Fiver

Most of us are paying for the bits. It's ok to just go to the free feed rather than ask them to alter the entire podcast to fit your taste. Especially in such an insulting way (self congratulatory bit chasing? Chill dude)

Alyssa

There IS a House of Mouse halloween episode, it's when the villains take over the club

h moon

taking dm advice notes 👀👀

Benjamin P Parson Gomberg

That’s true. I’d assumed that it was a curse requiring more than the Remove Curse spell, as some of the stronger ones specify whether that spell will work. Some require specifically something like a Wish to remove, but I don’t think they said that was the case here.

Hugo Wull

Nobody tell this guy that Judge John Hodgeman only does 1 case per episode, they’ll lose their mind!

Hugo Wull

Disagree, mainly because 1. It’s a rare enough occurrence that the DM can control when it enters the game and 2. It spells out what uses are guaranteed to work and which ones are prone to fuckery. Players ought to know what they’re getting into when they stretch the limits of Wish too far, and it makes for some wild moments that are, 9 out of 10 times, fun and not bogus.

Evan

Don't worry Caldwell I also have an archive of 8-Bit Book Club lore taking up valuable space in my brain. I guess at least it means Gex's crimes during his time in the Wehrmacht haven't been forgotten

Kellyd

"It was on my network?" Jake the Business Bro kills me every time

tacticalgrandma

I’ve never heard anything louder than the silence after Caldwell’s Myst joke

tacticalgrandma

I don’t know what’s going on in Maine but my feed looks okay

Walker Thurman

One of my favorite things to watch as a child was “Mickey’s House of Villains” a special episode of house of mouse where the villains took over, including Jafar. I don’t think he was dressed as strahd but I’m probably misremembering

Brian McAree Murphy

No. It's rare, it should be allowed to be cool. Go read any thread on wish spells, you will always see a host of DMS describing how the fucked their party's wish somehow. Proud of it. Why bother at that point

Hugo Wull

Maybe it’s a matter of preference, but for things like Wish, or deals with devils and in the Feywild, part of the fun I find in the game is trying to outmaneuver the other party. I’ve had immense fun with those as both a player and a DM. As far as Wish goes, it’s high risk/high reward. If that’s not fun for you as a player, then don’t engage with it I guess, but I don’t think there’s anything fundamentally wrong with that as a game mechanic.

Heidi

Sounds like you should start your own podcast.

kaylee w

bruh it’s a COMEDY PODCAST

Melissa Shilale

Genuinely thank you for the solid as fuck advice, meant for Tall Cool Basketball Player DM, and the rest of us humble home dm’s and wannabes

Toblerone. jpg

I love beetlemoses !!! So happy to see a mention of them

Ziel R.

I had a laugh at Emily's suggestion for a PC for the basketball guy. I'm 6'5 and fairly athletic and I play a fairy rogue/sorcerer who is so small and quiet he can only communicate via telepathy.

Andrew A

The player that wanted to conjure woodland creatures when their DM had a rule against summons: why did they have it prepared?

Zaxbeez

A shame they didn't mention Twisted Metal's Calypso with all the Monkey Paw talk.

Amanda Bouchard

I understood it as the player went to use the spell during the fight and that's when the DM said no summons. It seemed like that hadn't been a rule previously.

Andrew A

I believe it was mentioned at the beginning that the DM restricted certain spells and subclasses at session 0, including no summons

Fox

At 29:42 Caldwell says “Oh Hyuk” what do we think he spilled?

Rickety Cricket

Can confirm that I recently went to Maine and everything seemed fine

Joel Miranda

Whenever I'm prepping big ad fights, I let my players roll the number, it's on them lol

Jake Alcott

“That’s a good name for a bad book” is such a good line

Heliks

Lateral pitch for Emily's "be a basketball team" suggestion! Over on World Beyond Number, we got Space Cram - DM'd by Aabria Iyengar - an entirely basketball themed tabletop game. Inspiration! Friendship! Alternate systems that aren't as crunchy (aka: gateway drugs)! Shenanigans!

pluckythechicken

I really love how earnest everyone is about the kid with DnD. We were all there once ☺️

LightningIdle

Southern Indiana mention what’s up!!!!! Kyle my dude, I’m so sorry. If you’re looking for a game in the SoIN area, friendly nerds are out here, and we don’t discriminate against basketball players!

Gearbox

I gotta rule against the summoning druid; if the summoning spell was already banned, why the hell did you prepare it that day. If you didn't prepare it that day then you couldn't have cast it anyway, and we must dismiss the case.

binta

ive aladdined you from jafar

Cameron S

I gotta disagree with the justices on the summoning question, only because if the DM sets up a house rule and everyone agrees to it (regardless of if it's a module or a home game) it feels pretty petty to ask to switch spells in the middle of combat just because you're annoyed at the DM for having a lot of monsters when you'd already agreed to the house rule. Like it sucks losing NPCs but sometimes the players have to fail and the poster doesn't even say what the end result of that combat was.

Mike Rutledge

When Caldwell said Cucky Kong I almost dropped weights on myself

Adam!!!!!

could it be they got it from a class feature?

Ian McTarsney

All I could think about was the Jafar Hot Wheels I had as a kid pulling up in the parking garage

Penny Garbo

Do you carve all your house rules in stone?

Cameron S

Rules as written druids can't switch prepared spells on a whim which is a bigger concern. But anytime I have done house rules I follow them same as any other because consistency is more fair than letting everyone do whatever. If players have disagreed id let them vote on it out of a session but I'm never going to switch things in the middle of combat. But usually with a house rule like that it's in the players benefit as well like if I ban a spell it's banned for monsters and players

Argonautica

Hi, once again I will recommend minion rules from Flee Mortals (MCDM) if you want to run battles with a bunch of lil guys. They also allow your players to have fun with the fantasy of dropping a bunch of, like, skeletons or something, with a spell or a swing.

Klaus Undklaus

Yeah absolutely, the player was 100% in the wrong. If the DM tells you before the campaign that summon spells are banned and you agreed to it, then they are banned. Summon spells do slow down combat in 5e2014 and it's perfectly reasonable to ban them. That doesn't mean that the DM can never run a combat with a lot of monsters. Summons add extra turns to every combat, they can make average combats slow and can make slow combats even slower.

Leola Grayhawk

I wish you luck in finding folks to play with! You got this 🫂

Leola Grayhawk

Omg stars and wishes is sooo cute, love this idea!!

Leola Grayhawk

Might be a spell that they just have from leveling up in a certain druid subclass, I know you can get spells that you don't need to have prepared from those sometimes

Leola Grayhawk

Yeah that's what I was thinking as well

ThacoIsWacko

As an elderly man of 46, I am thoroughly amused to hear that Murph is aware of Parappa the Rappa.

Ripley Stardust Love

I wanted to make fun of murph for saying these basketball playing kids are into halo, then i realized im 23 and love halo so i cant super judge

Bryce Peterson

Not sure why Murph would wear a pillow case instead of a sleeping bag, but hey, to each their own.

EmperorGreed

Generous read on the Wasted Wish: the Wish spell says that if you use it for anything other than reproducing 8th level or lower spells, each time you cast a spell before your next long rest, you take 1d10 damage per level of spell. That means it's 18d10 damage in short succession for the second and third castings, for total 99 damage on average. Depending on level, that easily could kill a character above board. However, the DM didn't say that, and healing could've prevented the death, and the high/low percentile rolls are still unaccounted for

Jordan Stokes

beetlemoses?? Caldwell knows ball fr

Ryan

Agree with Emily. A monkeys paw shouldn’t be “your wish is granted but you die!” That’s not fun or interesting for anybody

Clotilde

I have never played or read Myst but did remember Gen (pronounced by Emily as Jenn) and Atrus and the dead cat and grandma Ana and yall riven for mist because my brain hard drive was reset to ONLY remember every episode of 8BBC thank you and goodnight

Katie P.

I'll admit I relisten to 8 bit bookclub on spotify every so often when I need a pick-me-up

Kerby Reed Balen

Wow Emily impresses again with her articulation and generosity. I would read exactly what she said for the last case.

Jennifer Bontje

Basketball case is sooo High School Musical coded.

Mike

“I would’ve run it different” “Ok so let’s see it” then make them the DM and then you and the rest of the party proceed to railroad the everloving hell out of them until they see the error of their ways. Let the punishment fit the crime

Sharktopus Reckoning

I LIVE for the 8BBC throwbacks. I’d love it if they sold merch lol

HeyYeah

Yeah but the DM was a hypocrite and made an unfun session, so the rule was unreasonable and consequently the DM is wrong. DnD court is about doing right by everyone, not just obeying RAW and the DM, and the DM messed up

riskutforthebriskut

basketball guy is learning how sports people only respect sports lmao

sjmokey

s/o beetlemoses - they always hit

Drew Worth

Wow really missed opportunity to drop a Ball/Peen hammer joke

giantsequoia

Murph you're thinking of Atrus's shit father Gehn, Atrus was OK just the generations on either side of him were a super mess (his grandma was OK too although she did accidentally destroy a civilization) Edit: nvm Caldwell's got you covered