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D&D Court: Husband Gloves, Drowncula, and DM Mojo (Patreon)

Published:
2026-03-20 02:08:27
Imported:
2026-03
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AD-FREE EPISODE FOR $5+ PATRONS!

Dungeon Court is back in session! Join Justices Murphy, Tanner and Axford, along with Bailiff Jake, as they pass judgement on your trials at the table!

Come see us LIVE at Radio City Music Hall!

CREDITS:

Sound Mixing and Editing by Trevor Lyon

Dungeon Court Theme Song by Sam Weiller

Files

Comments

clerby

ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Grass

Woah early

Tiffany

ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Daniel B

ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

austinoxner

It's always better when they can touch.

my guy

ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Creed

I’m so sorry snail. Your fate is set in stone.

CSN

ssssssssssssssssss'm.

Declan

Snail where you at

Austin Soren

RIP snail, if only you were quicker

clerby

oh no. snail, we did a bit about the letter s. i’m sorry.

StarsPaw-Pawn

Houseplant Girlie Pop here: “Fickle Leaf Fig” IS a thing!!! Vindication for Bailiff

John the Spaceship

Uh oh, I just got to the snail case. Sorry snail. But you are really slow, to be fair.

Aurora Fae

snail seems to have left a trail

Daniel A.

C'mon snail where you at 🐌

Jake de Medeiros

The wedding question was definitely fake right? Learn to tell realistic lies people!

Tiffany

It's tough at the top

Teo Tamashiro-Harris

Snail also took such a long time to write in about this if it's been years and they have tattoos and there's a baby that's now talking... So I think it's a rightful razz

Carl654

Fun fact: some researchers think that vampire mythology was based on cases of rabies outbreaks, which is why they’re unable to cross running water, have aversions to strong smells (like garlic), and bite people.

Holly de Gooyer

It came out at like 1pm in Sydney, snail, come on!

Scarlett B

Spoilers for Four Roads Cross, by Max Gladstone, but that's got underwater vampires in it and it's cool as hell.

Jae Beezy

Happy to take a break from my Skaldova re-listen to hear some Dungeon Court

jackalope503

Is there a sign up sheet for more content centered around Boktai: The Sun is in Your Hand?

Tails

Any snail sightings?

RedRen

I was rooting for you snail

Schoobs

I do see things for fiddle -leaf figs, which feels like only a tiny l for the baliif

Donny

I listened to this immediately after watching the Steel Ball Run premiere, so the underwater vampire talk filled my brain with DIO memes 🫠

Brian M

Snail for life

ak

these in person razzes just hit different 👌😌

Madison Brown

Yea I have no idea where he got fickle-leaf! 😂

Zack Daniel

I used to use "Sword" as my starting word for a long time, until last year where the word was Sword. Now I use "Ghast" because I need me a fantasy theme

Bookshelflion

There is a ya book series I never read myself called Vampirates, I must assume they sail the seven seas while vampires?

Clyve Lagerquist

To all the Honored Judges and Jork, when doing Wordle just use the (oddly admissible) starter word ADIEU and that will help reveal vowels.

Manjinder Kainth

After listening to this and remembering Strahd Stories, makes me think we should have a sort of D&D court flip where listeners can share awesome moments from their campaigns that they enjoyed

Marc Bollinger

As it came about from an Australian submission, that fickle leaf fig roll of 6 is going to double as a herb check roll - so congratulations team, that is another 2 red herbs!

Lonestar

Master Roshi blew up the moon first to stop Goku's transformation. Motion to change the name to "Master Roshi Style."

The one they call Barlo

Pass The Pigs! Great pub game, always creates a fun spectator environment

Eric Pierce

The ocean is 100% running water. It has famously swift currents. How could an animation nerd like caldwell forget about a turtle named crush surfing the eastern Australian current. Take a lap lol.

Justin Wildemann

The wedding question reads like a bad chatgpt answer to a buzzword filled dungeon court prompt (one shot, killing a player, partner/ fiancé, disproportionate reaction, writing a book)

Mr. Dude Sky

The underwater vampire just reminded me of DIO too much. Maybe he saw the start of Stardust Crusaders and thought it was the best thing ever.

Garbo Embargo

I fully acknowledge that DMing is hard.

SSS Tier Crickwater Enjoyer

I’m sure someone else has said this but, for the love of all that is holy, get husband gloves in the merch store!

Hannah

guys. VamPirates. it was RIGHT there.

Luke B

Rip snail

Matthew Flood

Pass the Pigs getting a plug! Love this game in a bar. We play loser has to take a shot of Malort!

HR

Sorry Uncle Snail. 🙏😔 but also, consider a slight nickname pivot to one of the greatest fictional characters of all time - and become Uncle Snails

Luke B

Also vampire in space already done in blindsight (great book btw)

Camille G.

As somewhat who works in the indoor plan industry, I’m gonna start using fickle-leaf fig cause it’s accurate as hell

Pamphleteer

The husband glove thing makes me think of Of Mice and Men because it's a plot point that Curly wears a glove filled with lotion so his hands are soft for his wife, and I'm impressed by how literary this podcast is frankly

華偉 曾

as a primary online player, because its hard to find actual decent players from my recent area, we do not do other things when were on a session, we commit and find funny memes to throw in chat while navigating through emaps. its hard work.

Ellie P

Caldwell you goofball! The ocean is moving! It has currents! There is a reason there are whole plots with vampires on boats

HeyYeah

I just don't believe you

Garbo Embargo

My first Wordle guess is always AUDIO because it contains all the vowels but the "sometimes Y." I meant to say it's a five letter word with almost every vowel. I made this comment before the caffeine hit the bloodstream. Thanks Kali.

Shelby Dahlen

They've blocked that movie out from their memory

Jake de Medeiros

Hard time believing it- I just feel like if a man actually stepped out of a wedding party because of D&D the question would’ve been written differently. That’s such a serious personal situation.

Craig

Huge L for Snail

Ebony-Rose Ellis

sometimes it feels like murph bullies Caldwell in a way not unlike someone who has been told to hang out with their brother who is 10 years younger than them

Frank The Fickle Leaf Fig

This honestly wasnt the first time the DM author was a problem as a few months before this in the campaign i was running for some players he sent me notes on what the bbeg should say to his character to align with his book in excruciating detail. Glad to no longer be friends but i do kinda wanna see the Drowncula book ripoff he will eventually create

Gearbox

One of my favorite "rewarding the high persuasion" rolls I did while still having combat was having it pay out by having the big bad tell the high cha warlock "I'll kill you last" for her 29 persuasion. It was meaningful because she was very squishy and it would have been easy to kill her, but now she had assurance *she* wouldn't be attacked.

Justin Wildemann

I can't believe maniacs like that person actually exist. Crazy to me. Sorry you and everyone involved had to go through that.

Michaela Z

Dm author one is the most “reddit fake story” ass case I’ve ever heard

Ray Matford

I think the crew just shows their love by relentlessly razzing on each other. Not to mention Murph loves to play the heel in practically every situation he can.

Ray Matford

You have to tell us what happened with the wedding. Did you still attend? Is his fiancé just as strange? What did the other groomsmen think about the best man getting the boot?

Frank The Fickle Leaf Fig

I did eventually get invited back by him to be the best man after his brother was unable to be the best man, i begrudgingly accepted as he was my oldest friend. The wedding was a pretty brutal experience thats far too much to get into. His fiancé is very much just as strange as him so they make a perfect pair. After the wedding though i have had basically no communication with him for various reasons outside of just dnd related stuff.

Lindsey

My favorite oceanography podcast

Jack Dineen

It sucks that you've grown apart from your oldest friend, but honestly, it sounds like it's better for your sanity this way. But I have to know...did he ever actually write that book?

Gina Engel

Coming from experience the judgment that this is too much of a stereotypical scenario to be real comes from a world view that has not experienced how wild and outrageous life can be and as much as it is bad to paint people as stereotypes just because someone meets one doesn't mean it isint real.

HeyYeah

You don't have to believe it, you weren't there and the only evidence that this happened is one person

Liz

100%, no fucking way that’s real

Gina Engel

My husband's groomsman and my bridesmaid no longer speak to us because the husband of the couple felt he could use a spell In a way that is absolutely contrary to the rules as written and scream at me and my husband (dm)

Frank The Fickle Leaf Fig

As far as I know he’s still working on his magnum opus which includes the Drowncula and his character from the dragonheist campaign which has many issues in itself, so dont hold your breath for a world wide release for the next few decades

Gina Engel

This has no real empirical acknowledgement beyond your gut on how open people realistically are or how people submit typed material

blappel

hiiiiiiii

Robert Z.

RIP Snails (from the D&D movie)

Rebecca N

Ok but do the Council of Elders shout outs at the end sound like Jake recorded them underwater like some kind of Drowncula to anyone else?

Jake de Medeiros

Okay Gina but your story involved somebody getting angry and screaming, THAT was the cause of the wedding party dissolving, the D&D disagreement was just a trigger. The story in the episode mentioned it at the end as almost a punchline, whereas IRL that is such a significant event that I’m just absolutely certain that anybody telling the truth would’ve given it as context for the whole case. Yes, it’s a gut feeling, but I also am a lawyer lol so I guess I trust my analysis.

Brian McAree Murphy

Yeah, every trope being hit in the one story. Could just as easily be any story from AITA. Normally Id go with the idea of believing for fun, but that's ridiculous. Especially since he goes back to being best man and the wedding was "brutal". As I said, every single trope.

Garbo Embargo

I never said I was smart :) I had a brain farther thank you. I think I meant to say it has the most vowels out of any other 5 letter word. Of course I could be wrong there too. I do know the word 'facetious' has all the "full-time" vowels in order.

Daniel A.

This is the only thing I could think of, too!

Tonks

I came here to see Snail victorious

Nick Webster

You know it's set in stone when HR says you have to keep the nickname

Shel B Kennas fav SG is welly’s number one felly

Dang I was just about to pre order lmao. I used to be an event planner so j know how insane weddings can get and the energy it brings out in people. Glad you went your separate ways

🐧lost penguin familiar

MOJO CHOP add a dSEX of seduction damage and add your charisma modifier. YEAH baby yeah!

Alexis

I have to share here bc I got excited but I was watching one of my favorite cooking youtubers and she was wearing a Gladeholm hoodie! it turns out her fiancé is a big NADDPOD fan. It was so unexpected I had to pause out of confusion 😂

Evil Anagram

Caldwell coming down really firm in the "ocean currents don't exist" camp

Victoria Fair

Did Murph just announce a thirteen book series about Bean Rat??

CSN

Check out Speedy over here, way to go Speedy!

CommodoreBlue

Was the CollegeHumor sketch about taking too long to order food about Caldwell?!?!

Tori

oceans count as running water!! oceans aren't still water!!! HAVE YOU EVER SEEN AN OCEAN BEFORE CALDWELL

Bryce Peterson

My favorite submissions to these are “am i wrong for [something reasonable] or were they wrong for [psychotic/toxic behavior]?”

Q Quigley

I just found out that Griffin McElroy wrote a Choose Your Own Adventure book called The Stowaway. The universe demands an 8-Bit Book Club. Maybe they can invite Jake on as a guest so the whole crew can be there! Wishful thinking on my part, but fingers are crossed he'll be on one soon!

CSN

1:04:31 Missed an edit there. 😅

Jesse Dunlap

I love pass the pig!!! We call it tossing hog

Wojtek

Commander Zhao Caldwell over here with that moon plan

Lindsay S

I was so stoked to hear you guys mention Pass the Pigs!! We always used to play it at my grandmas house, and a few years ago I randomly found a srt at a small gift store and had to get myself one.

Chip

Fiddle leaf figs are SO EASY to take care of. Famously, I sold them for like 10 years.

PuffDaddyIssues

Where should I go for the best apizza in New Haven?

PuffDaddyIssues

Wow this comment thread is just inane trash because of how it is organized, it's like we're all yelling into the ether. Why does Patreon make it this shitty? It feels intentional.

Pizzapie_420

Still no snail? You really are slow as hell 🐌

Elliot

Snail plz we believe in you

Austin Powers

I just wanted to tell you guys, my actual legal name is Austin Powers. I was born in 1992, before the movies. I've embraced the jokes by now, so hope you guys get a good laugh out of it!

GC

honestly: modern [ducks behind table]

Kali Reginek

Relatable! I should try your word tho!

Emma

The book is Twilight bc those vamps are in the ocean/on the ocean floor

BurtMcKraken

Snails, we better get the fastest written Drowncula novella ever written. Looking forward to seeing it on a mixed bag.

Logan Carpenter

Actually shot water out of my nose at “Derek your up, but tread carefully “

Jimmy Place

Every time Jake jokes about Murph grabbing him, it’s the funniest thing in the pod 😭

Kris Barnes

It’s funny to hear Jake making fun of Boktai at the beginning of the episode and then everyone else making fun of Wordle at the end of the episode. A real “who’s the real nerd” moment.

Susannah B.

but running from where to where?? what are oceans but a giant lake???

margot d

from shore to shore!

Crystal T

They have all sorts of currents and even underwater rivers!

Gina Engel

Being a lawyer does not give you a mastery over what is and isint real. Life is far to wild and unpredictable to say you due to a law profession have what is and isint real do down pat that you can be an Arbiter of truth when it comes to the psychology of people and how they should behave if they are real.

McJoeJoeJoe

Pass the Pig is goated; what a deep cut thoigh

Marshal Adkins

Rip my boy Snail, he'll be the greatest water vampire author this world has ever seen.

Emily

I doubt the 2 Crew will read this but as someone who is writing a book on a vampire — yeah you guys are 1000% correct. It’s one thing to want to play test your own RPG and tell the players that beforehand. This situation? No. It’s a completely rude, weird, impolite, bizarre and control-freaky and I’m being as polite as I can be while trying not to be a Ryan Murphy. Now if this person decides to world build their own vampire world building work (like me) that is their business. They can have their vampire come from the sea (I prefer the shrooms) but they cannot be using the D&D material in their book. I hope OP gets credit and that you find a new best friend who wants to play D&D and won’t insta kill your other D&D friend.

Rage1nc

While some might criticize the audio quality of jake's reading of the pateona at the end, I just want to thank him for his commitment to getting it done despite clearly being aboard a flight and having to record in the airplane bathroom ✈️ 🚽 ❤️

Davy

insane dungeon crawler carl name drop from Caldwell, didn't expect that

Evil Grimace

I'd rather play 'Not Another RPG: The Search for the Chronocruxes' instead of Wordle.

Josh

Anytime you guys record in the same room the energy is so much fun it feels like campaign one again

Jude Bialik

I couldn’t stop hearing “Mulder” instead of mulled earth and kept picturing Agent Mulder trying to grapple a guy about to turn into a werewolf.

FiendishNoodles

Hell yeah modern is great, I'm also partial to BAR (totally different style) for their mashed potato pizza

Hudson Standish

Austin Powers has such a firm grasp on the NaadPodverse that Caldwell, Emily and Jake all subconsciously agreed with the president in the spy who shagged me that blowing up the moon is the best course of action. . . 35 minutes before Austin Powers is directly mentioned by a submitter.

val

First

alwayshome

I saw a British adaptation of Dracula that ended its second act with Dracula dramatically walking out of the ocean. I wonder if that's what the DM "borrowed" it from.

Shirley Hemple

As an Australian the Snail story is so extremely Aussie and I will not be elaborating.

I Shark

Combining the pirates of the Caribbean ocean skeleton walk with the twilight baseball scene would be the best thing ever. Super massive black hole playing in the background.. that opening scene would rock

Ben Beckwith

Did Jake record the shout outs to the council of elders with Hard-one's solo cup?

Alex H.

Husband gloves is one of the most unhinged out of nowhere inventions they've ever come up with

Paden

*film

Hymntastic

God I really hate the term husband glove so much

The_Protease_Inhibitor

The fact that Caldwell didn’t mention Dio Brando once re vampire walking out of the ocean, really makes me question his brand 😂

Goggalor

I never thought I'd hear a Boktai reference again in my life. That joke was for me, Caldwell. Thank you

BethKF

‘period for men’ 🤣

Olivia S

Twilight proved vampires and go in the ocean

Samuel Gray

Quick of mice and men reference up top

Brian Gifford

He almost accidentally invented Dread Delusion

Sir_Derpalot

cannot believe that ‘Drowncula’ was said without any indication of a ‘Dampire/Dampyre’ (damp vampire). Apologies if it’s mentioned in the short rest or comments…

Sir_Derpalot

what are they running from? if the ocean is supposedly so powerful then what is it running from, lakes are running from many a thing

Ali

Agreed! I really enjoyed reading all the comments about people's Strahd campaigns, how differently they run their games and how random moments pivoted the story! Also can sometimes give DMs inspiration for our home games ✍️

Geshem420

My best friend once broke a tooth on a scallion pancake. It was freshly made too idk how she did it. Anyway today I learned I made a grave error not calling her scallion pancake from them on.

Mortimer Lunch

Jake was thinking of “Finicky-leaf fig” which is the nickname of the fiddle leaf fig

AutomaTom

Re: blapple / shagadelic scheduling — Emily is very on point with it being way easier to commit to a movie than a campaign night. We have a very roleplay heavy political intrigue type game with 7 players that meets in-person on a roughly biweekly schedule since September last year. We absolutely love it, but it's not always easy for 30-somethings with careers to get up the effort to go! My partner calls it a "Type II Fun" activity — where you put in effort to get the fun reward. Absolutely not as easy as vegging out to a movie, but way worth it when we all make it!

Ashleigh Hanlon

I call them fickle leaf figs, it's totally a thing 🌿

Kate

Oh, I misheard. I thought they were referring to putting cameras into children's toys (so privacy issues, not kids with cameras)

Smiththebat

I’m getting rid of the comment because I feel like you could read Emily’s comment in a lot of different ways and I mean don’t think she even meant what thought she meant.

Blue Bee

Caldwell's Boktai callout knocked me on my fucking ass, crazy work

Andrew

Pass the Pigs freaking SLAPS. I remember all the names and point values after all these years. The double leaning jowler was ever elusive.

Elise Matthews

I’m late, but I’m screaming OCEAN CURRENTS while they debate whether the ocean counts as running water! Also, fun fact from a language nerd: the were part of werewolf is the Old English word for man. So a tabaxi-wolf hybrid could be cattwolf or something.

Jackson Hurley

Frank tell them that Drowncula is mine now

Transfemmes4murph

i have only ever witnessed the single leaning jowler but it remains a favourite pub game

BaisFace

I love the idea of your godkid someday asking why youre uncle snail, and you just have to say, "I was too slow once". If youre not actually Snail, I'll never forgive you.

Jackson Hurley

Would've been even slower but my DM called me on her drive home to tell me to listen to the episode ASAP *Drags cigarette* dont take action surge kid or you'll end up like Uncle Snail

Dave McC

Literally listening to the episode and came here straight away to see if you made it. My hope was for naught

Jackson Hurley

🐌🐌🐌 THANKS FOR BELIEVING IN ME EVERYONE - I WAS ONLY 3 DAYS LATE (DM called me on her drive home and told me to listen ASAP) I'll accept my punishment and work on Drowncula 🗒️🖍️ 🤝🦇🌊

Joshua Burns

Hilarious. I love this community so much

Steve E

My dad has been called Shark/Sharkie by my mom's side of the family for the last 3+ decades because he named his character Sharkie on PGA Tour for Sega Genesis. Pretty similar to the Snail situation

Tiffany

I can edit my first comment to "snail" for you if that will provide some psychic relief.

George Bewley

The most famous vampire in all of fiction crosses the ocean in the book that's named after him

Dylan

I just can't comprehend how the ocean isn't running water there's not a single spot of it that isn't in constant motion how can't that be considered running water

Emily's Autumn Apple #NotFuji

I feel like the appropriate punishment is to be Snail Hurley till next DnD court. All hail Snail

Kathryn Martin

I got to stick up for vampire emerging from the ocean. There is a Webtoon comic called Isabela (art style is amazing) to me the way they had the vampire come out of the ocean was sick af. He was giving Dio Brando 💅🏻

Jackson Hurley

Update on Drowncula novel: it's now the world's worst and shortest children's book because I'm slow and have a job - but there's illustrations (they are bad) will figure out how to post here once it's done 🐌

Oliver Jasper

Why am I so invested in your punishment so instantly 😂

BIRB

I just love that Caldwell is on the Boktai train... I thought I was the only one in the world

DMCDawg

Snail!!!!

Rebecca Groves

Thank you for commenting this. I was certain I had seen the same

kalihahaha

From the bottom of the ocean, with the drownculas

Casey Blackwaters

OMGS I can’t believe they are talking about pass the pigs. That it THE game of family gatherings for me 🤣

Matt Davis

Given context for the Drowncula question, we would like to respectfully request a Hot Boy Summer arc that takes place at Carl's wedding. Are we fighting over who gets to be the best man? Are we very confused that mysteriously we haven't received our invitations to the wedding so *obviously* something has gone terribly wrong?

SimpleWater

If that wedding story is real the potential husband needs to be alone for awhile so they learn to be a better person.

Morgan E. McCaw

Wow Snail, you live up to the name. No shedding that name like you shed a trail of slime.

Kathryn Martin

Step aside Marlon Wayans NADDPOD has a new Snails!

Zoop

Immaculate work snail! The art is awesome!

Zoop

Could be but also sometimes people are just straight up batshit. If anything, you not believing the story is the absolute nail in the coffin against the dm. As for how the story is told, I genuinely think that when something that insane happens to you, it’s hard to even emotionally process it as real bc it just feels so crazy and ridiculous. To me the story read like it was being told by someone who was still baffled that it had even happened, who had the opportunity to sit down and write out the story in the funniest way possible, and took it because yk…humor is a cope and laughing with people at a bad situation can feel good.

Zoop

Poor guy doesn’t know that Snails already written a better version of his book 🥲

Zoop

I mean..it’s possible it IS true and it’s just written in a real trope-y AITA way because the submitter is fond of Smosh reads Reddit stories (which would also explain the “brutal”) and wanted to frame an objectively insane and presumably actually quite upsetting story in the funniest -light possible because when bad crazy shit happens it can feel really good to laugh at it with others.

Zoop

Hey Frank, it sucks that so many people are doubting your story. I j wanna say that as someone who’s dealt with absolutely batshit insane & cartoonishly self absorbed& delusional people before, I believe you and I’m glad you were able to get such an iconic dungeon court story out of what I have to imagine was a genuinely distressing and baffling situation 🩵

HeyYeah

Don't worry, it's for sure fake

Will Boris

I little late but shoutout to Caldwell for the Final Fantasy Tactics Advance! That game is awesome!

Mthunzi Ramphele

the games conversation was very apropos for me, because I am playing Final Fantasy VII for the first time and it's gorgeous and I love it. HOWEVER, sometimes I have to take a little break and play this terrible fishing game that isn't fun or interesting and I don't even like, but it gives me something to do whilst get my podcasts in 🤷🏾‍♂️

Jackson Hurley

bury me in a swimming pool full of slime and croissants

Fxd Gear Queer

More power to you! I had a colleague legit called Jimmy Hendricks, and he also reluctantly embraced it. I can't count how often I heard him going "Yeah, like ... No, not a joke..." on the phone. Great Ice-breaker to diffuse angry costumers though 😅

Tim

THE DM’S BOOK!?!? THE DM’S BOOK!?!?

J. Gro

My dm, who has several years - even decades - more dnd experience than I, tried to tell me that expertise didn't double the proficiency bonus. He asked about my modifier after learning the passive perception for my my tabaxi rogue was 23, and he discovered I was adding 13 to perception and stealth. The group has three members that follow RAW to the T (including the DM), and we spent waaaay too much time looking it up only to discover that I was, in fact, correct. Funny how sometimes dms only care when they don't want you to roll high!

Beluga, Gunks undersea mount that only drinks dr.p

Aw Jackson H, I was counting on your victory. I guess I’m not mad, just disappointed. (Please don’t join snail racing) But on the bright side, snail is a pretty badass nickname. “Ayo wussup snail! How u doin’.”yeahhhhhhh thats got a ring to it. Do you own a pet snail? You should get one and name it jackson. Haha thats a pretty good one am I right? Well there is a very small chance you see this so I guess its time to admit i accidentally stepped on a snail when I was 6. Dice christ please forgive my sins. Wait now that i think about it snail isnt as good as I thought for this generation, cuz of the negative connotation to being “slow”. Im against thats stuff tho, its not very nice. You seem like a sensible guy tho, other then the fact you said “FUCK” as a reply to like a lot of people. But it was for humor so its alright. Ur book is really cool too. I read it and it made me laugh. Hahahaha VanBoomer Pooh that one was funny. Well snail a good day have. Aw shit-

Beluga, Gunks undersea mount that only drinks dr.p

No offense but maybe work on your vocabulary. It seems very limited, and although you get a lot of expressions out with FUCK, it maybe wise for you to open and browse a dictionary. I would also be concerned if you were saying this In front of the child you mentioned in your case. Did you know that parrots can learn words said to them, but if released, they will spread it to other birds and generations to follow. Now I would assume that child isnt a parrot but you can never be too careful. Maybe try using words like flingflangbingbangchoochootrainglasspainoilstainmundaneboomerang. This is one of my personal favorites. Also, ive never heard a snail curse before so keep that in mind. Hope day have a good you. Aw flingflangbingbangchoochootrainglasspainoilstainmundaneboomerang-

Chelle

Dang, Snail, you got a lot heat in this one

Choc DISCO

The underwater vampires should also have the ability to stop time 🤔

Sawyer Klein

Anyone who’s that shit at running a one-shot has 0 business writing a book, and I desperately want to read his train wreck once he’s done. Also having nearly killed several fiddle figs, Jake, you’re right and the rest of the world is wrong. They should be nicknamed “fickle leaf figs”

Sawyer Klein

Hell yeah man! I do not have your fortitude and would’ve changed my name the day I turned 18 lmao

CommodoreBlue

Wait, so this behavior wasn’t even limited to his own campaigns?!? He brought it into campaigns where he was a player?!? That is madness. You can just accept that the D&D campaigns don’t exist in the same universe as your novel. It’s actually way easier for everyone involved to just do that. I hope you get to play with normal people now, lol

CommodoreBlue

Why was the wedding brutal? If you write about it to a wedding podcast, update us so we can go listen to it too

CommodoreBlue

What’s the complicated part about action surge? Is it having 4 attacks?

A suspicious rat

Fiddlehead ferns when jake calls them a fickleleaf fig 🌱🗿