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D&D Court: Bonus Cases - Goo in the Loo (Patreon)

Published:
2026-03-20 20:40:37
Edited:
2026-03-20 20:40:55
Imported:
2026-03
Tags:

Downloads

Content

Dungeon Court is STILL in session! Join Justices Murph-pee, Tannerd and Axfart, along with the Honorable Bailiff Junk, as they pass judgement on your trials at the table!

CREDITS:

Sound Mixing and Editing by Trevor Lyon

Dungeon Court Theme Song by Sam Weiller

Files

Comments

Valerie

Refreshed at the perfect time!

Scooter

A sinister title

Matt W

SNL spinoff: Goo in the Lou

Spillvia

tread so carefully we don't want a gleave on mic

Meghan

Starting strong with burps, love the vibe already

Spillvia

or is it gleeve

Schoobs

Im sweating with all the burpees out here

Evander Oleander

Pigeons have a strength score of 2 and are tiny creatures so they can each carry 15 lbs by dnd rules

Ollie

What does gleave mean?

Spillvia

I don't remember what episode or short rest they mention it in, but it's something Murph said as a kid instead of throwing up

Ollie

Oooh okay lmaoo thank u!

Pontifex

Sometimes it’s just the titles that make me already crack up

Kat

Ice wine is made from grapes that have frozen on the vine, concentrating the sugars and making a sweet dessert wine. You can also get late harvest wines that are harvested after they've experienced a specific low temperature, which makes a less syrupy wine

BurtMcKraken

Came for more court, stayed for the burps.

KaptainSigyl

Ice wine is a real thing, made with grapes that freeze on the vine. The freezing concentrates the grape juices making them very, very sweet, and the resulting wine is super sweet and super expensive

BurtMcKraken

I thought it was strength x 7.5 / 2 because they are tiny. BUT that’s still 7.5lbs per pidgeon and twelve pidgeons so that’s 90lbs! A old lady gnome probably weighs only like 50lbs!

Garrett Durham

With a title like that I’m gonna goo in my own loo too

Nathan Rogers

When my friend was a kid his mom couldn't help herself and cut open his Stretch Armstrong to see what was in it.

A. Lee. S

I have formally decided to start shouting “this is terrible content!” in meetings. Thank you, Emily. I know I will find this delightful.

Kellyd

Sometimes i wonder if the generous reads are a bit or if im just too literal to get it 😭 there's no way yall genuinely think the name change people are just bad with names, right?

Hugo Wull

My personal favorite is a Botrytis dessert wine, where the grapes are dehydrated by a fungus late in the season giving the same sugary concentration effect!

HeyYeah

As far as I know tiny creatures have half the carrying capacity of Medium and Small creature (15 lbs/STR, so tiny creatures get 7.5/STR) Pigeon referenced has 2 STR, so 12 pigeons * 2 STR * 7.5 = 180 lbs cumulative carrying capacity for the flock. Idk how much the gnome weighed, so idk if this was RAW or naw

Kaidan C

I love that Akarot’s little vest lives in infamy, all these years later

Rennifer

How are they against misnaming NPC's. I object! The court has lost it's authority!

Darryl McMillionaire

I’m high as hell and the mouth sounds intro was actual hell lmao

Kat

Oooo cool!

Emily

Caldwell, if you want to give out your Gmail, ask your friends to add a ‘+theirname’ so they have their own separate folder AND if you guys sign up for the same thing; the system will recognize it as a new email

Andrew S

The idea with ice wine is they harvest late after some water in the grapes has begun to freeze out, increasing the residual sugar concentration majorly and resulting in super sweet dessert wines. Canada makes a bunch. They come in super thin bottles and are very fun.

Curby Dickens

What if the pigeons just carry the gnome by their husk?

Maddie Gombis

“Cardriverman@gmail.com” is the most Kojima-coded bullshit

LadyMine

Ice wine cookies from the Niagra region are the best 👌

Bryce Peterson

I very recently went to Ine, Kyoto and took the Fisherman’s boat tour where you buy shrimp snacks and hold them up. The seagulls and hawks flock like a swarm of bees; the seagulls also land on your head and wait patiently for you to feed them. Thankfully I’m not scared of birds so getting sliced by hawk talons was fun, but fair warning if anyone has the opportunity.

Patrick B

Cald, Jakeincense and Myrrph. Go on.

JJ

Emily - you’re right that ice wine is a real thing, and you’ve heard of it because they make a lot of it in Buffalo/Niagara/Erie - it’s very sweet, harvested from frozen grapes.

Garbo Embargo

To address the grappling a dragon's mouth shut question: 3.5's convoluted grappling rules actually had the solution. If I were grappling a wizard, we would roll opposing STR checks and I could pin his arm or cover his mouth to prevent them from casting a spell. Size permitting, the same would apply to dragon's breath. However 5e's pin mechanic is tied to the Grappler feat which states that both the grappler and the grappler are simply restrained. Flavor is free. Let your players restrain a dragon's mouth.

kiarra burd

No Pyotr —> Petri mention in the "silly names" segment! Put some respect on that man's not-name!

Ro

IM GONNA GLEAVE!!! Hands down one of the funniest short rest moments…and given that the sound of burping makes me retch…super accurate!!!

Charlie Kemp

I feel like pendegreens is a perfect example of emily forgetting and the new name she used just got adopted

Serge

Ha, I got the same dice for my son when he was born. I did notice the numbering wasn't distributed correctly before I put any stock on the rolls though. :) Shame on whatever company makes these!

Martin Rådal .

I love em, but these people disgust me sometimes

Matthias Maurer Rueda

Another way of dealing with the silly nickname problem is to preempt your players by giving your npcs dumb names to begin with. then play it out humourlessly Players, meet your next BBEG, the Great Count Piss Piss of Shart!

Sander Goldman

If you really need to keep players from making fun of a character name is just to either give them a familiar name, refer to them with a title or a name thats just a real word instead of a bunch of fantasy syllables. Everyone doesnt have to be Ellnwar they can be like Risk or The Emissary or Lord Henry or something. Game of Thrones just uses english names and changes one letter lol

Sam

First

Little Cheese Confettis

I’ve been a game where the other 2 players never made a single decision, one not caring and the other so worried that any decision she made would result in a negative consequence. So I relate to the guy who fireballed after 3 hours of fighting a LOT. I would have done that at the 30 min mark.

Rafael C

they mostly don't think the name change ppl are bad with names, that's why it's called a generous read, it's them being overtly generous in their assumptions about the person's character (aka giving them the benefit of the doubt)

Dandalf The Unwise

If I remember correctly, that Stretch Armstrong goo stank as well, so that's gonna start more arguments in that apartment

Nick Lerche

Are we talking about the carry weight of birds? This is Monty Python type stuff lol

poppy marten

akarot’s vest is still one of my favorite fucking bits i’ve ever heard out of yall 💀 i think i passed out from laughing so hard

Melissa Shilale

I’ve had ice wine in Canada, made from frozen grapes. Very sweet and lovely.

Lauren

100% thought stretch armstrong was a wrestler for a good amount of that conversation (until the goo insides)

Tom Fuller

Goocoon feels like it should be in the urban dictionary. Thankfully it’s not.

jaydee meowr

Yeah, made in here in Ontario by taking a risk and keeping the grapes on the vine for the first frost to concentrate the sugars.

Chrys

Love hearing “Cool it” from the guy who yelled “You ruined the campaign” about Jake’s beans

Jensen

Shout out to the other misophonia homies who also ripped their headphones off the moment the burps started

Smiththebat

At 26:00 a hint to an “Enter the Gungeon” one shot??! CONFIRMED?!

Blume

Welcome to the Nightmareverse Stretch Armstrong and his dog

nvsblty

yeah the baby is in the clear, you don’t roll stats with a d20

Syf Sloane

Needs more dog baptism

noa tsipin

I can’t wait for the next surprise round when the listener suggestions will undoubtedly give Car Driverman the deep seated lore that he so desperately needs and deserves.

Steve E

Some of these cases are legit starting to sound like they're AI-generated

AgedGouda

Which ones? I haven’t felt that

Enrique Fernandez

Love the idea of grappling a dragons mouth shut but wouldn’t it be so cool to instead of nullifying the breath weapon it just changes it from a cone to a line as it comes out of their nostrils instead. Taking this big AOE into something more restrained but still deadly!

Steven Hatch

When I was 3 or 4 some neighborhood kids chucked a Stretch Armstrong into the street where it got run over, mangled, and spilled its red jelly everywhere and from that day on I thought those fuckers were alive, and that I saw one get murdered.

YugiMoto

Cant believe the pigeon dwarf case is even a question. Dnd just has rules printed in the book. A creature can carry their strength score x 15. So even at 1 strength, each pigeon can carry 15 lbs. 12 pigeons can carry 180 lbs. they mightve even been able to carry 2 or 3 party members across at once depending on everyones size

Blue Bee

Carry weight is definitely not equal to the amount of lift a bird can produce to fly with something in its grasp, not even close

Compound27

"Oh whats this in their pocket? Just some evil" I've been binging D&D Court and as a never DM and never player, the Justices needs to make a player and DM oath. "I vow to never argue for 3 hours and consider the feeling and time of my fellow players." Something like that lol

YugiMoto

Oh, something in its grasp? You mean when its carrying something? (Btw there are just rules for your reply as well. Directly from the players handbook) "You can push, drag, or lift a weight in pounds up to twice your carrying capacity (or 30 times your Strength score). While pushing or dragging weight in excess of your carrying capacity, your speed drops to 5 feet." Trying to talk about how much "lift" a bird can produce is ridiculous in a fantasy game where people can carry around 300 lbs while swinging a sword and sprinting 90 ft in 6 seconds. There are rules printed for the game

Sean Zenitram

African pigeons or European pigeons?

Blue Bee

Let me reference my absolute favorite line of text in the new DM's Guide to back me up, found on page 19 in the "Ensuring Fun For All" section. "Rules Aren't Physics. The rules of the game are meant to provide a fun game experience, not to describe the laws of physics in the worlds of D&D, let alone the real world. Don't let players argue that a bucket brigade of ordinary people can accelerate a spear to light speed by all using the Ready action to pass the spear to the next person in line. The Ready action facilitates heroic action; it doesn't define the physical limitations of what can happen in a 6-second combat round." Of course, the DM is allowed to do the pigeon lift if they would like, but acting like them being able to do it at all is a forgone conclusion is just silly. If ten rats with 2 strength each all stood in the same space because they're tiny and tried to lift the average pc, RAW it would work... but it wouldn't work. Same deal here.

Ron Whitlatch

Part of some peoples fun is the arguing lol. So maybe just the last bit?

Chaos Phoenix

Thank you for absolving the baby! In all of this, he is only guilty of compulsive chewing and lacking fine motor control. I've informed the devil in disguise I once called a player and friend that they owe me exotic incense or at least an air freshener. Thanks again!

Ethan Pestyk

Do you guys think someone could survive a fall into an olympic-sized pool filled with dwarf-sized croissants?

Connor Klotzbach

Hate to be that guy, but ice wine (Eiswine) is a real thing. It’s a style of dessert wine that is made in cool climates. The grapes have to be frozen on the vine for 3 days and then are harvested and create a very sweet, rich and age able wine

kalihahaha

☝️ THIS IS THE CORRECT ANSWER. It's literally RAW. (Raw as in, those pigeons have pro-wrestler strength!) 2nd correct answer: DM fiat said they could.

Sean Q

I’m proud of Caldwell. It took a lot of restraint to not mention that silly rubber pirate when the discussion about the stretchiest character happened.

Zoop

…Ohhh because of the burping! I started at this comment for like 10 seconds trying to figure out what dnd take it could’ve possibly been that made you feel disgusted lol And only now as I type this comment out am I realizing that you meant ‘em as in “them” not Em as in Emily 😅

Mthunzi Ramphele

I have a solution for the recreational/performative moral outrage situation, which I have been employing in my life for a few years to great effect! It doesn't just work at DnD tables, either. you can pull it out whenever you find yourself within the splash-zone of an archair philopher's sloshing drink with which he gestures wildly: As a black immigrant from a very poor, violent country where the nuanced and complicated interplay between morality, humanity, survival, class, race, etc etc etc is not a fun little thought experiment for well-intentioned liberal white folks to tucker themselves out before bed and is instead a daily reality with very real, often severe consequences; I’ll often just contribute to a particularly disruptive bout of recreational outrage with “hey, you know what this made-up, hypothetical reminds me of?” and then I’ll regail them with a fucked-up anecdote from my childhood… Shut’s them shits down real quick! For context, my career places me in the company of A LOT of nepotistic white millonaires who only know about black people from the movies, so, you know ya boi is a constant conduit for folks to practise some good ol’ fashioned, performative, pretenzies, vwoke-talkin’ … Today a 78-year-old executive accidentally refered to someone as “colored”, and then he corrected himself by saying “colored-American” which… actually made me and the person who was referring to share a full-tilt cackle in the uncomfortable silence 😂 So. i guess what I’m saying is: invite more traumatized-brown people to your tables! We have the most fun!

Gh.stF.ssil

I'm going to sign cardriverman@gmail.com up for EVERYTHING.

Ryan

They do the name thing from the first case all the time 😂

Anthony

Very late, but it was never determined if the murder of the rouge by the clerics mew character is authorized 😂

Beth Sophia

Re listening to this, and a 3 hour argument would have me leave the party. On Dungeons and Daddies Beth May had built the perfect character for this situation. (Her, the player, being bored.) When Matt and Will's characters would argue too long she would do things like roll stealth for Ron to walk away without them noticing and start talking to an NPC to force action. This group was likely doomed, but perhaps because nobody communicated clearly that this behavior was ruining everyone else's fun.