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D&D Court: Lousy Lightsabers, Copying Characters, & DM Coup Update (Patreon)

Published:
2021-03-26 00:58:21
Imported:
2026-06
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NOTE: Re-uploaded to include COE shoutouts and it broke the original file, so I had to make a new post! Sorry for the inconvenience, everybody. - Murph

Court is back in session! Join Supreme Crit Justices Axford, Murphy, and Tanner as they solve your D&D crises. Dungeon Bailiff Jake presents your cases. Thanks to everyone who submitted!

Files

Comments

Simon Hughes

on relisting #5, i heard jake misspeak taruks name on the case intro, he said Tear-uk, instead of the usual Tar-uak, but that then makes me question every single name pronunciation ever, because both are correct and we will never know which one they used

Michael Graham Abernathy

I hate the one where the guy let his friends stew for THREE HOURS so much. It makes me so mad by proxy, that Emily saying she likes it only makes me angrier. Lol

wick

What in the world?? Trash Can mentioned??

Colin Kilzer

So Between The Lions was a PBS kids show in the 00’s that focused on reading, I remember it quite fondly. We even like made up swing tricks where you jump off and pretend like youre sitting and reading in midair called it reading lion (which I did and dislocated my elbow). The premise was that the characters lived in a public library so It MIGHT have loosely been a pun on the NYPL but Emily is definitely the first person to notice that

riskutforthebriskut

it makes me so happy that the problem player actually tried to DM and the crew perfectly predicted what would happen hahaha cinema

Kyle B Barbre

As per the question of the Insight check on a letter: Yes you could gather that information from the letter, but since you are analytically pouring over the letter and doing detective work to verify handwriting samples, I would definitely call that Investigation. But I would also meet in the middle to say that Insight works, but is a higher DC because that’s a harder way to get similar information. Say the original Persuasion/Deception roll +3

Michael Shelley

When are we going to get new Baggin' it with Balnors? I loved those and miss them

Nolan Childerhose

Better listen to it again! Still impressed with Caldwell's fluent Jawa

josiah hoffman

I thought there was another episode and got so excited! 😆

Andrew Schiessl

my players are fully open to throwing me into a lake with a chair, I will update you when I get thrown into a nice northern lake. And for the record, I did have a shit eating grin the entire time

SoupLightning

Excited for the next cases submitted. When does Aly Beardsley make their appearance to complete the intrepid heroes crew.

Jesse and Sawyer McKeown

Don't mind me... Just freaking out that Emily said I was cool and wanted to play a game with me. Also the said DM is my wife and a fan. We shall make sure she gets lots of letters. 😈

H-Train

i gotta side with murph on the chair case. straight up, that dm is lucky that none of their players left/considered leaving the group cause there’s a high chance that if chairs were being thrown i would not have stuck around

GrumpyPolarBear

“Read between the Lions” was a pbs show!

DnD Emporium

If it reminds you of something (like it did for me) “Between the Lions” was a show about a family of lions in a library on PBS from in the early 2000s sort of like Sesame Street. It was not set in the New York Public Library, but I would assume the idea is based on it. Separate fun fact: Teddy Roosevelt thought the sculptures should be an American animal, namely bison (more Buffalo lore??).

Nova

Thank you for the Duster+Slipknot shirt joke, that guy reminds me so much of my actual brother who wore that exact outfit once upon a time

Andy Branton

There should be an all Strings Campaign, and an all Tim the Tavern Man campaign.

8BitBruché

In the Star Wars case, it was established that all of the Star Wars logic was incorporated. Which means that the lightsaber wasn't just a reflavored sword. So I 100% side with the player. But the solution could have been the whole, "I softened it up for you." kind of thing lol.

FusRohNahSon

I would honestly love a fucking cease and desist in a Players Handbook from yall

Tocayo

Merchandising, merchandising! Strings the T-shirt! Strings the coloring book! Strings the lunchbox! Strings the breakfast cereal! Strings the flamethrower!!!

Brooke

My face hurts from laughing about the brother in law case update

Ganonbort
>>56370292

The DM really needed to either nudge the players or have other consequences. I get that they’re new and thats fine, but it’s just a learning moment

Donny

So happy to hear that the DM Coup conspirators [SPOILER].

King Dorkimus The 3rd

Lazy Boy dealership is my Jake can make it happen business plan a hundo P

Mad Dungeon Mama

Between the Lions was a show on pbs in the 90's/early 00's! Love that show!

Sara

Isn't Gilbert just Gilear but not quite as terrible?

Flonc

Oh my god, the son in law DM story sounds almost too good to be true, am I the only one? It's basically perfect - if it did happen, then holy hell, kudos to you, man, but what a picture perfect story.

Brenton

I have thoughts on the second case. So the main thing is that if the dm wants something to be impossible, I think he should clarify that it is impossible, but since he allowed the chance and also his “Nat 20’s always successful” that will create this situation where the only way to succeed is a Nat 20 but otherwise impossible. So a tweak to the dming style will prevent these situations coming up. But also yeah I echo what you guys said, also the Jedi council joke was really funny despite Emily not getting it hahaha

Bat-Fran

God I love these so much

Javan Thomas

Caldwell's hard guffaw at 43:10 BODIED ME

Jude Seimon

For some clarity on the Barkskin case, since you guys seemed pretty confused about the wording, the phrase "cant be less than 16" means that if a creature's ac is below 16, then it moves up to 16, but if it is already higher, then it doesnt change. I think this wording is used to prevent players casting Barkskin on a high ac enemy in order to reduce their ac to 16.

Cheddar Whizard
>>56376726

This so much. While it's following DnD rules, some kind of in-universe logic needs to be applied, right?

Cheddar Whizard

Case 2 can be solved if 20s aren't auto-success, but are instead an extremely advantageous outcome. I.E. - This door is impossible to cut down with a LIGHT SABER, but your Nat 20 makes it so you don't obliterate your foot when you kick it.

Garga Lenoir

About the lightsaber, the GM has a responsability to make the rules work in universe. If he says "a lightsaber couldn't cut through a door but a small muppet's kick did because nat20", that is poor GMing. Saying that the jawa found a weak spot or that the saber weakened it works. For the puddle mystery there is a recommendation to always have 3 ways for players to solve a problem (like a clue, a roll, someone to ask for hints...) Anyway, time to play my cool new tabaxi bard...

Dave

I had been listening to another episode which started with a question about swimming and drowning in heavy armour. It seems not to exist anymore. Wha happen?

Lizzy French

Emily- In Between the Lions is real!! It was a kids show on public television for us kids without cable and they were a family of lions living in the library. Not sure how it came up here, but its real. Lol

Maggie Reed

I almost started crying on public transit listening to Murph’s wheezing cackle at the crazy brother in law dm update

Emily C

For the barkskin question, I would also argue that the fact that it's not written the same as mage armor, which specifically calls out a dex bonus, it was clearly intentional to leave that off and set a flat 16 AC.

Tom J

Immediately went back and relistened to the Tarook (sp?) Update. Think "...Paul, you can be the DM again..." might have entered the Hall of Fame for NADDPOD lines that caused my cheeks to hurt from laughing so much alongside other classics like "...Chicken" and "Give me a Hemp! MILK!".

tacticalgrandma (edited)

Comment edits

2026-09-17 02:00 "Ribbon dancing" & DEX modifiers... did Jake know what power he evoked
2021-03-26 14:23 "Ribbon dancing" & DEX modifiers... did Jake know what power he evoked

"Ribbon dancing" & DEX modifiers... did Jake know what power he evoked

Miles W (edited)

Comment edits

2026-09-17 02:00 I’ve only played one session of D&D but I disagree with the barkskin thing because you should still be able to naturally dodge. A falcons gonna be able to evade stuff. The idea that you wouldn’t get your dex because your skin is woodlike disrupts the premise because this lack of pliability would mean the person couldn’t even walk.
2021-03-26 16:04 I’ve only played one session of D&D but I disagree with the barkskin thing because you should still be able to naturally dodge. A falcons gonna be able to evade stuff. The idea that you wouldn’t get your dex because your skin is woodlike disrupts the premise because this lack of pliability would mean the person couldn’t even walk.

I’ve only played one session of D&D but I disagree with the barkskin thing because you should still be able to naturally dodge. A falcons gonna be able to evade stuff. The idea that you wouldn’t get your dex because your skin is woodlike disrupts the premise because this lack of pliability would mean the person couldn’t even walk.

The Lady Of Cram Over A Field Of Daniels

Emily says she kinda loves the session where the members were stuck for three hours but a I remember a lady at the top of a city pulling out her hair trying to crack that riddle

Mad Dungeon Mama
>>56405318

I think what they're saying is you can't add a dex *modifier* to the 16 ac that barkskin allows. You still get to use dex for a check and whatnot, just no bonus to ac.

Mad Dungeon Mama

Big bad brother in law update at 21:30 ;p for relistening purposes of course. Cuz this stuff is GOLD!

erin
>>56390694

It’s still there. The post is from February 25

Xavier Brennan Brown
>>56379927

That's what I came here to say! I wonder if Emily subconsciously thought of that when she made that connection, but I would not be surprised if she came up with that all on her own.

Kyle Veach

Wait...Emily knows nothing about Star Wars? That's...hilarious

Anonymous
>>56381142

Can confirm—Gilbert has strong Gilear energy but is also surprisingly competent from time to time!

Tenaya F

My wizard will proudly take the role of Gilbert's intern following his death! They've assumed all responsibility for the necessary paperwork and will be giving him a significant raise. Sadly we're all stuck in the outer planes so no one can go home until we finish our quest or else he would've a long time ago.

Old Dirty Blastoise

For posterity, the Taruk battle legitimately gave me the very rare beer asner (Acute Spontaneous Nasal ERuption). Love these patreon pods!

Ayn Like Ryan
>>56370377

I thought I was the only one who thought of this! Had to come to the comments to find out lol

Marisa

I was listening to this while I was driving and the brother in law update made me cry laugh so hard I almost fucking crashed my car

Evan Roberts

I can’t believe my case actually made it into an episode (the Star Wars one)! I’m waiting to actually listen to the ruling until I can listen to it with the other players involved, so the suspense has been building!

nonya bizness (edited)

Comment edits

2026-09-17 02:00 Hey man, as someone who was sort of forced into the DM spot because none of my friends were willing I totally get messing up puzzles. 😂 I had never played as a player so I had no idea what was reasonable to expect! That's a huge reason I started listening to D&D podcasts, I needed to learn how sessions were supposed to look!
2021-03-27 03:49 Hey man, as someone who was sort of forced into the DM spot because none of my friends were willing I totally get messing up puzzles. 😂 I had never played as a player so I had no idea what was reasonable to expect! That's a huge reason I started listening to D&D podcasts, I needed to learn how sessions were supposed to look!

Hey man, as someone who was sort of forced into the DM spot because none of my friends were willing I totally get messing up puzzles. 😂 I had never played as a player so I had no idea what was reasonable to expect! That's a huge reason I started listening to D&D podcasts, I needed to learn how sessions were supposed to look!

Mii Moose

That brother in law update was amazing. Rolling a coffeelock to fuck with him even harder was great

Nye-Low

absolutely fucking DYING! Love the follow up.

Nye-Low

Danny McBride plays the in-law in the short film.

Nick Powell

For the record with barkskin, it's not a minimum of 16 and it doesn't interact with dex modifiers, it just means that if your total AC, including any and all modifiers, would be lower than 16 it is instead 16. So if you have no armor and a dex of 20, your AC would be 15. With barkskin its 16, not 16+5 for dex. Same with wildshapes - if a dire wolf has an AC lower than 16, it would just be set at 16. Not 16 + dire wolf dex.

Michaela

Emily - you DID play a high level character going through a career pivot, and even got bullied by a commoner! TARRAGON! High level monk turned gardener!

Roo

These are wonderful, thank you so much! And that coup update was perfect. Love it!

Bobby Huggins

"Throw as many chairs as you want" -- speaking from experience, hmmm Caldwell?

Jordan Jenkins

You just lost a patron with that jedi decision, bad ruling? Nah bad you!

Michael Singer

Hey y’all, I was wondering which final fantasy to start off with 👀

Arwyn Robinson

When my players get nat 20s for something like the vault door when I don't want to give it to them but I also don't want to take away from them, I'll say that because of their (fill in the blank) achievement for the nat 20 it gives everyone else advantage for a round. This way I don't have to give my players something I don't intend on even with a nat 20, but I can still make them feel good about the achievement.

Tech Adept Crafts

I know this isn't mentioned much, as the regular content is so cool, but I just wanted to say I think the CoE shout outs at the end were some of the funniest in a while. The number of Taruk references was hilarious and it certainly sounded like Murph enjoyed them too. Got to love the wamping Taruk got, too. Great court session!

Victoria Shotts

I just have to say, in regards to Gilbert the intern. Sometimes you just need the game to be a game. I understand Murphs argument about Gemma, but I literally got so emotionally invested that I stopped listening to NADDPOD for over a year because I was so pissed/depressed she died. I was so sad for Hardwon and took it way too much to heart that I had to step away in order to realize it was just a game. To me, Dnd is kinda an escape from the real world and it's real consequences, so I understand hoping for a redo that real life doesn't offer. And for someone innocent to die not EVEN IN COMBAT like Gilbert, it seems rather harsh. But I'm glad that he got to at least come back with a lower level. That seems like a great redo opportunity. Just know, you did the best you could in the moment and continue to do right by Gilbert.

Victoria Shotts
>>56601654

And maybe he'll see this, but that goes for you too Jake. You tried your best in the moment <3 Rest in Peace Gemma 🕊️

Josh

DnD court is my all time favorite thing. I love this, and I’m so happy they are going to end up doing more.

Andrew G

I had to pause this shit after the evil brother-in-law DM situation I am CRYING Murph’s fucking CACKLING KILLED ME

JayForce

One thing you failed to consider while ruling on the barkskin issue is what if the animal has an AC higher than 16 (rare situation). To which I would say, as written, he just takes the higher of the barkskin AC or the animals base AC. No adding dex.

Chris Au

In the star wars case I feel like the point was getting mixed up. If the DM didn't want them to get in the door he could've just given it a ton of HP to break it down rather than resorting to a d20

GREGORY WAGNER

The coup update was so, so good and so satisfying. I also loved the shout outs at the end, the tie-ins to the cases were perfect!

meanbeard
>>56679813

Agreed. The shout-outs were my favorites I've ever heard. And that coup update had me rolling. I had to pause the podcast to catch my breath!

Jesse De La Rosa

In the Star Wars case, the DM could have said that with the high lightsaber roll and a follow up nat 20, the lightsaber could have cut the hinges while the jawa kicked down the door. Everyone wins like Murph said.

Marisa Thornburg (edited)

Comment edits

2026-09-17 02:00 Since I just went and found it for reference, Paul's case is from D&D Court Feb 25th at 11:54 👍
2021-04-07 18:13 Since I just went and found it for reference, Paul's case is from D&D Court Feb 25th at 11:54 👍

Since I just went and found it for reference, Paul's case is from D&D Court Feb 25th at 11:54 👍

NoShitSherlock

For the Star Wars case, I would have to disagree that it is "flavored dnd" only because they mentioned that all logic in Star Wars where getting through a door with a lightsaber is possible. In regards to nat 20's being auto-successes, that shit always leads to DM plans getting more fucked than players are already keen on doing.

Princess Fartfeathers

Between the Lions was one of my favorite childhood shows :-) idk anything about the NYPL but that's what the "between the Lions" pun made me think of :-)

Kay (edited)

Comment edits

2026-09-17 02:00 apoplectic Murph is #1 Murph <3
2021-04-20 16:09 apoplectic Murph is #1 Murph <3

apoplectic Murph is #1 Murph <3

mariocartdui

Iirc mastermind rogues have a special ability to make insight checks on writing, it’s improbable but maybe the DM for that case knew about the ability and restricted it to NPCs that could conceivably be rogues

Mark Jones
>>58814032

That's what I thought, but I cannot find that anywhere. I'll have to check my books, but online I can't find anything

Dan Collins

Pretty sure Tarooq the evil tiefling, is Pendergreens as a real-life DM

Joelle H

I loved listening to Murph cackle listening to the Tarooq drama

Alex

I don't get it, the Tarooq conclusion sounds so much like the typical, "and then everyone clapped," style scenario. It's just too convenient and one sided.