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D&D Court Bonus Cases - Missing Lizards, Water-Walking Horses & Medieval Times (Patreon)

Published:
2021-06-25 20:44:08
Edited:
2024-10-29 21:01:42
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

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Content

Court is back from recess! Supreme Crit Justices Murphy, Axford, and Tanner are here to resolve more of your cases. Dungeon Bailiff Jake presents! Thanks to everyone who submitted.

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Comments

Quantum OFZENTRIX

I'm British so I have a nursery rune for the rainbow, red and yellow and pink and green, purple and orange and blue. I can see a rainbow, see a rainbow, see a rainbow too

Miranda B, Crick DVM

Okay. So I’m a former horse girl and horses are afraid of EVERYTHING they also have ZERO depth perception, so to them a puddle looks like a black void. It would be VERY difficult to get a horse to go through or across a river without any issues.

Blue Bee

Purp seems like the quintessential "person who doesn't smoke wants to make le epic funny weed character" so it doesn't surprise me they don't know how edibles work.

Lindsey

I worked with horses for about 6 years so I do have anecdotes. I have ridden horses both in the ocean (about knee-height on the horse so they're mostly walking) and ridden horses fully into rivers (basically beyond a certain depth the horse starts swimming and you're doing a weird combo of holding on/treading water on their backs). How challenging it is really depends on if the horse likes water or not, but it's definitely doable.

Jason Sherman

Something happened like this on critical role or D20 and the players were punished for not saying they locked the door, and it felt bad to me like it was unreasonable/petty. But in real life I always lock the door and double check, I don’t announce it every time, and it’s not fun to stop the flow and dialogue to announce things like, I locked the door, I take a sip of water, I take a bathroom break every single time

OG Beef

The origins of the dice Christ confessional!

uh

:D

Emmitt McNaughton

No idea if this was mentioned as this is literally over 5 years old but the locked airship punishment about kicking in doors to steal things reminded me of Dane Cook's joke about doing a BnE, Breaking and Entering. Spoilers: the joke is about Dane wanting to do a breaking and entering and just literally staking the house, kicking down every door and then just leaving.

SoupLightning

Hear ye hear ye the court has resumed! #BringBeardsleytothetable

Fraser Connell

I know this was on the main feed ep too, but when I first heard the intro music I actually screamed hahahah

Marie

OMG THE OPENING MUSIC IS SO GOOD!!

Stanarchy

The first time I heard the new opening, I thought it was Jake, Caldwell, and Murph singing

PupKailash

All rise for our Supreme Crits, Murphy, Axford, and Tanner. Oh and that one guy

Sonja Maitland

Omg the song. XD I was not prepared for this. Hahaha just amazing!

Courtney F.

I'm 5 minutes in to this ep and it has already proven this pod is worth every penny. 👌🏻

Anna Green

Please dear Crit Justices and esteemed Bailiff Jake, Dice Christ confessionals need to be a thing.

Riley M

Please do a Dice Christ Confessional Mixed Bag! I have a great confession from the session I DMd last night

DowdMusic

You cannot just eat weed. Gotta bind to fat at high temperature. If the druid just put weed in - probably no good. However, if he made weed butter beforehand he could just drop that in.

Matthew K

Waited all work day this, it dropped 10 mins before I got off :(

Justin martin

For the DM who Misty Stepped after being Counterspelled, I believe the DM is correct. Misty Step is a BA spell so they would have said bonus action to Misty Step. RETRIBUTION!!!

elliotcm

Re horse blood. I've found in my life that a lot of these conflicts stem from a differing sense of what asking a favour means. Some people, like me, feel that it's totally OK to say no when asked for something, and so we're more likely to ask for things since we don't put too much weight on it. Other people that I know reserve requests like that for things they really need, and won't ask otherwise, and so they assume that when you ask them for something they're obligated to provide it. I feel like the vamp and the horse owner are each of these types, and they need to align their understanding of one another's subtext.

Bryttany A

Does Dice Christ wear crocs? Should he?

Emily Hoodenpyle

Separation of church and state does not exist in the dnd court

Shelby

Please do a Dice Christ confessions!! I have one that’s eating me alive!

Toland Kister

Re/ grass druid, edibles take longer to kick in than just smoking, and are harder to dose appropriately when homemade, so they'd need to wait around for at least 30-45 minutes for the guards to feel the effects

Mason Shucart

Oily Stu. The brother of Steely Dan. Both great bands.

Heckin Good

Sorry to be a bit shitty, but it would be really cool if that theme song could be whittled down to 10ish seconds or so. It's kind of amusing to hear the first time as an I-get-that-reference type of thing, but a minute+ for every episode is a lot to ask for something that's not actually that enjoyable (sorry!) to listen to.

Brianne Nurse

I live for the ass-munching discourse.

Makeitsweat

This d&d courts are super funny but i miss the bagging it with Balnor. Maybe one mixed bag yall do another with the third mates or like Bev/Zirk/Hungry Dave interviews the trinyvale crew etc...

Caleb Gardner

Random comment, but a lot of horses are naturally afraid of water, especially if it's running water and they need to be trained to be able to go in water/swim

Madeleine Smith

Is it just me or have there been like three questions about casting water walk on horses in this series lmao

Garga Lenoir

IRL I really dislike someone who says yes to something asked respectfully and then resent the other for it. It's so toxic. Don't do that kids. About the GMs who say "well you didn't tell me you did that obvious thing!" the answer is to point out that it wouldn't be much of a game if the players had to always say that they put their clothes, that they take their weapons, that they lock the door, that they go to the loo before leaving, also every time that they inhale or exhale!

Ebony-Rose Ellis

pleeeease do crit confessions, I have one off the top of my head that I really need to confess to 🥲

Pavel Lishin

To each according to his need From each according to his steed

Lisquander

Murph your gospel on Dice Christ has me CONVERTED praise be

Mixxuie

On the horses and the river- as a long time horse rider I can tell you horses are COWARDS unless trained otherwise. Like trained warhorses are a totally different animal than a typical trail horse! Having known a(n admittedly anxious) pony that refused to walk over a slightly discolored part of the trail for a good minute before we coaxed him, assuming mounts were for travel not battle (or otherwise trained for river crossings) an animal handling check would be warranted!

Priyanka Patel

Still not over this intro music!!! ❤️♥️❤️♥️

majael

A socialist character having a horse named Trotsky is thoroughly admirable.

James Lloyd

Emily, I too was convinced that I was an alien as a kid! I am not alone.

Matthew Steinmetz

I can't be the only one hearing two points of the new theme song sounding like smashmouth, is that down to the melody being similar? This knowledge is too much for me

Cheddar Whizard

As a zealous devotee of the Church of Dice, there is nothing I would love more than a Dice Christ Confessions with (actual) Father Caldwell.

Katherine Finn

while horses are very spooky animals, they can be trained to cross water. my teacher’s horses have to run through water when she does cross country events and theyre not even badass adventuring horses

Katie S

While horses can be afraid of water I don’t imagine a horse trained to be an adventurers horse would be unless role played that way. I think the modern day equivalent to what adventurers would use if not a warhorse would be an endurance horse. I do distance events and also just trail ride with my own and had to put very little training into crossing water for them. In fact one of my horses I have to keep from trying to flop down or go swimming if it’s a deeper river because she loves water. So I agree if a handling check is going to be used it should be very low unless the horses were role played to have problems previously.

JorgeAgoias

Okay that intro is way too long, rofl felt like I was in a fever dream by the half way point

John

Kudos to y’all not getting more riled up over the wine incident - felt pretty tone deaf of people to actually try to ruin property (particularly not their own) for a gag.

Reagan Nettles

Just as a side bar- you don’t need oil to make edibles you need fat! THC is fat soluble, butter or any other kind of will fat work. As long as it’s been de-carbed (heated to activate the THC - usually in an oven) then slipping in a stew would definitely get you high. Please don’t eat your weed.

Hunter Larrison

I am not joking when I say I would 100% support Blasting Grandma having a 1 off character arc.

Patrick Harry

The only way that weed can be consumed and work is if the THC has already been activated and still remains in the leaf. This happens really only after it has been used in a vaporizer/volcano. While most of the thc is vaporized and consumed by the user, it is not all sucked out. There is a great amount of THC left in the leaf that should be browned. I highly recommend using leftover flower that has been vaporized in a weed butter/oil, as it is a cheap way to make butter and you are using all of the available THC. With that being said, you can take the leftover cannabis and throw it on a piece of toast with some peanut butter and get high. As someone already mentioned, weed cannot be directly consumed fresh to get high, the THC must be activated. In the case of a stu, the weed would get hot and the thc released with nothing to bond to and it would boil away. Other way though, is you can out some nuggs in a bottle of vodka and create a cannabis elixir by letting it sit and having the alcohol slowly over time stress the nug to release the THC. I hope this information has been helpful

Seasquidley

Dice Christ Confessional= Dashboard Confessional and I won't hear otherwise.

Lily Everett-Curwick

I work with horses. Hearing sooo many cases have to do with horses is so great. Usually I don’t feel the need to add anything to your sentences, but I just have to chime in with the issue of getting horses to walk on water. In real life, you have to have a very strong bond or at the very least, an extremely high Animal Handling skill in order to convince a horse to walk through even the smallest puddle or stream. This is because horses have no depth perception, so to them a small puddle could be a bottomless pit. While Jake is right that once one horse is convinced to walk on water, the others would follow much easier, they may still be jumpy and difficult to control/stay on. If I were the DM, I would have required not only an initial high-DC animal handling check, but I would require multiple as they crossed (roll initiative for turn-based gameplay), as well as riding checks to stay on if the horses decided to bolt.

Debra Wasson

All the horse harm is really just Jake tapping in to hardwon

Metagamer Shamer

Has anyone found the table of 100 encounters that person used for the "Lost in the woods" session that one question was about? It sounds awesome and I'd love to see it. I just listened to both of these D&D Court episodes in a row, so forgive me if it was the other episode.

Paige Wirth

One of these reminded me of the time that my DM said that I hadn't been feeding my animal companion because I didn't specify that I had. I was a druid I certainly would have been feeding him.

Roger McCray

Honestly I'd tell the dm that stole the lizard to f off and not come back

Alexander Robinson-Gabel

You do not get high. I ate a bunch freshman year of high school to hide it and not get caught. Just had SUPER dank weed farts for like the rest of the day.

Dr. Bearkele

Weed needs to be decarboxylated before it has a cerebral effect. So if should be made into butter, oil, or alcohol to work. So putting weed in a soup to boil would only have basically the effect of a CBD product. No, munching a bud is only a psychosomatic effect that some people claim to feel but is not chemically legit.

aiyana graham art

it seems like many people in the comments know how to eat weed, which i don't know how to do. but I do know how to make gumbo. so if you made weed butter and needed weed soup you could just make a lot of gumbo because you need a good amount of fat to make a roux (for the gumbo base)

Joelle H

Dude gimme that gumbo recipe and I will put weed in it

Gearbox

After hearing about the horse campiagn idea, now they need to do a Tales of Equestria one-shot