Home
Creators
Search Recent Random
Posts
Search DMs Popular Hash Lookup Tags Random
Importer
Import FAQ
Register Favorites Keys Review DMs Logout
Community
Telegram ThePornDude
Home Creators Posts Import Register Favorites Logout

Spill Stories! (Patreon)

Published:
2021-10-29 19:47:42
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

Hey Naddpoles! Jake here and we're trying something wild. Please submit your spill stories below. Brief is best! Anytime you have fumbled a beverage epically, we want to hear about it. We promise not to razz you too hard.

Comments

Andrew Schiessl

I spilled one of my favorite whisky’s all over my dm notes and had to essentially do the first session from memory

Rachael

It’s not a drink, but last week I made a chicken pot pie for dinner, and I dropped it all over the floor carrying it from the kitchen to the table 🤦🏻‍♀️

Kevin Mcconnaughey

I worked at a dairy farm and managed to spill about 1.5 tons of milk while trying to get some for my coffee..

Caitlin Land

oof, about a month into dating my partner I spilled an entire mug of hot tea all over his shoulder, onto the floor, and the white carpet 🤦🏻‍♀️ i’ll never live it down and it’s been 5 years

Bud_Cubby

I tried to catch a container of blue cheese dressing between my legs and it broke open between my thighs

Connor Brousseau

My worst spill was not a beverage. It was slippery spaghetti with tomato sauce. I turned too quickly while walking my dinner to the television, and the entirety of the spaghetti just slid off my plate. All over the carpet. :(

Jordan Justus

I went to talk and forgot I was holding something and since I talk with my hands I totally dropped and shattered a glass of milk all over my grandmas kitchen table and the pie she had baked 😭

Philip Goodyear

Boys trip to Seattle doing all the tourist stuff. Went to the Space Needle and one of the lads dropped a full IPA on the glass floor. That's what I call a sticky situation.

Liam Jenkins

I’m a server, and I once had a table of 13. As I was carrying the drinks over, I had them all on one tray. One person decided to be “helpful” and grab their drink off my tray, and I managed to keep all of them on without spilling except for one, which of course resulted in the Coke Zero spilling all over a baby’s head

Krysha Syrin

Not sure if this counts, but I was stocking shelves at a grocery store. Put the last Gatorade on the stack of the Gatorade pyramid by the door display & as I step back to my admire my work, I accidentally kick the bottom of the pyramid just enough. Suddenly, the Gatorade geyser begins as bottles topple down onto tile and the bottles spin & gush everywhere. I very slowly back away as I signal to one of my coworkers to grab a wet floor sign & as customers walk by & give me looks of pity & intrigue

Audrey

Anytime my dog jumps on me excitedly and makes me spill my coffee, my cat attacks the dog (without claws) to defend my honor.

Jeremy Hoko

I slammed my hand on the table for emphasis and ended up catapulting a bowl full of rice into the air

Carson Moore

It’s not D&D related but when I was in high school I waited tables at a seafood restaurant. One night I was walking out of the kitchen with two trays of drinks in hand for a large party, and a passing customer looked in the kitchen window, then put his foot to the door to hold it shut as I walked up. I ran full speed into the door and sloshed about a gallon of soda and sweet tea all over myself and the floor 🥲

Sporkypig

I was at a halloween party when I was a first year in university and got a little more buzzed than my motor skills could handle. I dropped my solo cup of beer and it spilled on the floor. This prompted everyone around me to refill my cup with whatever they'd been drinking, which as a first year, I chugged. I then proceeded to puke on all of the shoes gathered at the front door of the house.

Coelacanth

During like my second week at a new job, I walked in to the office and started talking to my boss and gesturing with the massive cold brew coffee in my hand. Half way through a sentence the lid came off and a god damn quart of coffee just exploded onto the carpet. It must have taken me like 8 seconds to even move, I just stared at the ground as everyone around me reacted.

Jordan Sommers

I spilled a whole pitcher of margaritas that I stole from work (I'm a bartender at a Mexican restaurant in ga) and ruined my dmg one of my first sessions.

Katie

Ok so brief context I work at a smoothie shop and while this is not my spill I did witness it, a guy got a large smoothie and on his way out dropped the entire cup all over the floor of his car he comes back in with a floor mat dripping smoothie asking me if he can rinse it off in our sink (I'm a nice person so I said yes and made him a new smoothie) but it makes me laugh to this day

Nour

Spilled a cappuccino when handing it to a customer, burned myself, AND had to spend 10 minutes cleaning it up because it got absolutely everywhere. 0/10 would not recommend.

Katheroony

During my chemistry PhD I spent over a week synthesising a particularly difficult compound. When I finally had it made and was about to analyse it, I dropped the flask and it smashed everywhere. I was so disappointed I stormed out of the lab and cried in the corridor, but when I came back one of my friends, who knew how hard I’d been working on it, had swept what he could into a tiny vial for me. It wasn’t enough for what I needed, but I really cheered me up.

Claire M

On first date we went to a coffee shop and got some water cups with our drinks. As we put our drinks down I tipped the water and it spilled all over the table. Thankfully she laughed her ass off and we are girlfriends now :)

Matt Klay

I found out my blender has a screw-on-bottom and that it wasn't fastened when I wanted to pour my smoothie, but instead the bottom fell out and I had to clean my whole countertop.

dakkadakka

More of an explosion than a spill. I left an energy drink in my fridge while I went away for spring break my freshman year of college and it froze/exploded with such force it forced the door open. This caused everything in the fridge to spoil and the frozen energy drink to melt then dry into probably the worst mess I’ve ever had to clean. Months later the floor was still sticky.

Ash

I spilled water all over my chin/neck/ chest in highschool but I'm so used to fucking up with liquids that I didn't even react. I unfortunately was making eye contact with my teacher as I did this and she stopped teaching to ask what was wrong with me :') not the only time a teacher has stopped class to ask me this

sadie w.

I yeeted my phone into a glass of wine on the floor while watching Game of Thrones. It absolutely shattered everywhere.

Moon Moon

I spilled out of my shoes. I just recently started a new job. My 2nd day, I was going to lunch and had on new shoes. I was walking across the cafeteria and literally spilled out of my shoes dropping my cup of water and ending up with a bunch a bruises. Unfortunately, I was not the only one in the cafeteria.

christien

I leaned on the bar shelf while talking to my coworker just sort of put my hand on the corner. It wobbled a little bit and so I leaned back to check how it was connected to the wall and I must have pushed off with the hand on the shelf and it shifted to the side and then collapsed showering me and my coworker in liquor. I stood there then just walked out. Didn't collect my last cheque nothing. I felt so bad about not helping clean up but there was no way I was holding it together. Haven't been back in 14 years

Beth Reidmiller

Got a big ol' latte on the way to work. Parked (on a residential street), got out of the car with keys, phone, purse and latte in hand. Trying to juggle keys around to lock the car and flipped the completely full latte on to the ground. No big splash on me or anything, just a dud FLUMP. Looked up to see a landscaper just staring at me.

Carl Anderson

I was once at the front of a quite long (20 families or so) line for a fast food place, and as soon as I picked up the tray the fries tipped and spilled onto the counter. I foolishly attempted to save them, and in doing so knocked over my drink, spilling it all over the ground and myself.

LoneWarWolf

I spilled coffee on my laptop during class

Tavitafish

So it's not a beverage, but it is considered by OSHA to be hazardous waste. I work as a surface grinder for a knife company (I make the blades nice and thin). It creates waste called swarf (metal dust that's gross and considered toxic when wet). I had to clean out the swarf tank on my machine and was emptying the bucket out and it splashed up and out of our waste barrel and all over me and the floor

Kris Warrington

A week after buying the Nintendo 2DS, I bought a bottle of Jones cream soda and put it in my bag. Walked home,took my stuff out, and the bottle had broke. The brand new 2DS was soaked broken,and everything else reaked of cream soda for WEEKS!

Jess

On a pretty snowy day in DC I slipped while going down the DuPont circle metro escalators and spilled iced coffee on myself. But because I was near the top of the escalator when it happened I had to stand up and ride the rest of the way down in shame.

Hannah Huston

My second ever job in high school, I worked in a coffee shop in a popular vacation town in Southern California, and on my second day out of training I spilled a large latte all over Ashton Kutcher’s security because I got so nervous I was shaking 😭

Tristan Belzer

In college, got myself a pumpkin spice latte on a brisk fall day while headed to class on my longboard. Passed a group of middle schoolers. One kid yelled at me to do a kick flip. Was about to respond with a gentle explanation about the differences between longboards and skateboards when the board hit a rock, stopped dead, and sent me flying into the pavement right in front of the middle schoolers, psl going everywhere. Got razzed pretty hard by some middle schoolers as I collected my things and ran away. :(

Austin Johnson

I knocked over a beer rolling dice at board game night, then the next week I knocked over another telling the story of how i knocked over a beer rolling dice.

Jamie Hathaway

I work as a guide at a dog-sledding kennel, and icey ground + large buckets of meat soup (kibble, water and meat for the dogs) leads to some uh. Interesting spillages. The birds are very well fed in this area

Nick Neverman

First time at a bar when I turned 21, I was sitting in the upstairs portion of the bar & I went to get beers for my friends and I downstairs. On the way back up I tripped going up the steps, leading to 5 beers falling & spilling down the steps creating a brief alcohol fueled waterfall with 4-5 people walking up behind me.

The Jazz Man

Not my own story but you should do a throwback to the Ben Affleck dunkin donuts spill picture

Michael Singer

May it please the little gremlins, I am an electrician apprentice and on one of my first job sites I was learning how to connect electrical pipe, my teacher asked me to hand him the bottle of glue but was distracted by the big tractors driving pretty close right behind me and I spilled the whole dang bottle of glue on my journeyman’s trousers, it’s pretty gloopy stuff too, I had the opportunity to grab the bottle but just watched in shock as it glug glugged, surprisingly enough he took the fall infront of the rest of the crew

Zleeb

Oh my god, it's like this was meant for me. My wife actually calls me "Spills" because of the frequency with which my liquids miss their vessels. The most notable occasion was probably during the conclusion to a Curse of Strahd game I was playing with my friends. I gestured wildly, spilling my tall, full glass of water down my computer tower. I almost lost everything and it took a long time to take it apart and dry, but I have not learned my lesson. Please razz me hard, I deserve it.

Mae B

Probably my worst spill story is right after my junior prom in high school. We went to Dennys for a late night meal, and I went to get up to use the bathroom. Unfortunately I had used the table to help me stand. The table which was not bolted to the ground. I flipped the entire table, luckily it was one of those mini-tables at a long booth so only my food and drink went flying and no one else. However my food and drink did go flying directly on my very white prom dress which was ruined. Important note: Theres was about 25 kids from my class there who saw this, which doesn't sound like a lot until you realize my entire junior class was less than 100 people.

Max Weisskopf

One time I went home to my small home towns football game. With me was an entire Popeyes chicken basket with mashed potatoes and gravy. During a big play the crowd went crazy and my basket went flying onto the little old lady in front of me. Gravy and all. I wanted to run away and escape like a cowardly chump because she didn’t notice at first but my mom made me fess up and try to help her get the gravy out of her polartec.

Kristen with-a-K

Dropped a canned soda on the kitchen floor and managed to split the can just enough to send soda spraying all over the room like a fire hose.

Alex C

I was a summer intern in a group of incredibly smart scientists. At the first lunch we ate together, I was meeting the rest of the team and introducing myself. A coworker reached across the table to shake my hand. As I reached to meet him, my arm knocked over my just-opened iced tea and it crashed into my lap. Thank goodness it was unsweetened, because I was wearing business casual pants and they were fully soaked. From that day on I have put the cap back on drinks after every sip in the hopes that I don't ever have to ask a coworker if they have extra women's dress pants ever again (nobody did and I had to live with the mistake until it dried).

Bryce Baker

I was holding two large glass pitchers of beer during a barbeque and was dancing on my way from the kitchen. I accidentally swung them into each other. They shattered, wasting loads of beer and blanketing the ground with glass shards (everyone was barefoot).

Flonc

I once managed to drop a plastic cup of coffee from a vending machine. I caught it mid air and felt a bit proud of it for a split second before it poured back and scolded me, because you can't really catch a plastic cup mid-air without squishing it.

Pasquale Crea

We were playing Catan, I had a glass of red wine with a straw, because I am classy. I was wearing a white tee shirt and bumped the straw spilling the glass. No casualties besides my shirt. Cleaned the table, play proceeded... Until I did the exact same thing and now permanently have 3 resource cards with a mildly purple border.

Shrike Alvaron

I play social VR games like VRChat a lot, and usually keep a big tumbler of water nearby. More than a few times I've lost track of where I am in my room and flailed my arms a bit too close, knocking it over and spilling water all over the table and carpet...

Adam Kendall

Was going to an important job shadow in college for a very big company. Drove with a friend and we went to Dunkin' for breakfast. I had a chocolate milk, and I went to shake it up. I didn't realize I hadn't screwed the top on completely and it spilled all over my shirt. I had to wear my jacket all day and I was pretty sweaty and I smelled like chocolate. Needless to say I didn't end up working there

Hero TJ Quinn

..once upon a time I left a bottle of orange juice outside the fridge in my sweltering attic apartment during summer. when I went to take a sip straight from the bottle it tasted so gross I just.. spit it out immediately. all over my laptop. not a fun clean-up, do not recommend!

BadgerAmongMen

My uncle used to have a small forge and sometimes when I went over we'd melt some metal and pour it into molds. One time, I managed to spill a pot full of liquid aluminum on my uncle's foot. He was wearing sneakers and pants, and was able to get them off fast enough, but he still had to go to the hospital. To this day, he still has the burnt, metal-covered shoe as a reminder that I am no longer allowed to handle liquid metal.

Those who love and give where they can

I’m a waiter at a BBQ restaurant. During my first week or so of serving I was very nervous, and made my share of mistakes. The first Friday night (busy service) I worked l, I had a tray FULL of drinks. Talking 8 full cups of sweet tea, soda, lemonade etc. Well trays full of drinks require some amount of balancing. I took the first few drinks off of the side of the tray nearest the table, and the thing began to tip away. I over-corrected. In my over-correction I SLAMMED the 6 remaining drinks onto the table of 8 people, and chaos… ERUPTED. They cussed me out, the restaurant out, and then left. My manager said it was okay, I was learning and mistakes happen, but I’ve never forgotten that night. The looks on their faces.

Nicolas P.

Not a beverage spill but perhaps even worse. A few years ago I was working on a theater project and I realized that I spilled a massive container of red glitter inside my backpack. I still find glitter in very obscure places today

LARGELinCHARGEL

I work in hazardous waste for a research university and just the other day spilled Acid Phenol. We have to "bulk" certain materials into drums for disposal and all that. Someone had taped the bottle of phenol shut (it's pretty smelly) and while I was trying to open to pour off, I ended up popping the lid off, and in my jerking motion, spilled some on my shirt and arm, causing some pretty bad burns. The blisters are gone and left some neat scars, though, and I'm back at work! (Sorry it's not DnD related!)

Ashen

Once I was visiting Germany on a day trip with a friend while studying abroad but we didn’t realize it was Easter Sunday, so everything was closed. The only place open was Burger King, so we went there but I don’t speak German so I tried to order a Whopper thinking the name at least would be recognizable and would translate. The cashier looked very confused, but I was optimistic. Imagine my surprise when my order number is called and I somehow ended up ordering not one, but two kids meals complete with two large cokes. I went with it and took the tray to go sit down only to stumble slightly and spill the two large cokes all over. Everyone was staring at me, shark eyed. I very embarrassingly tried to ask for a napkin and the cashier instead got me two more cokes. I’ve never been back to Germany and honestly I don’t know if I ever can after that.

Rowan Stanley

I had made a cup of tea a while ago, and had forgotten about the tea. Through talking to my friends online, I remembered the tea. I lamented that it must be cold after the long time I had forgotten about it, but miraculously it was not! I sipped it and exclaimed to my friends how happy I was that my tea was still warm! I put the mug back on the floor where it was, because there was no other surface near me upon which to place it. After settling down again, I moved slightly and violently kicked over my mug, burning my foot, and getting tea everywhere. It was a rollercoaster of emotions.

Declane Gilhooley

Drinking a beer watching D20, cat thought it was a good time to jump on me mid sip and headbutt the glass, loses grip, cat bolts, beer all over me. Cat was dry.

tanis

May it please the spill crew, I am a barista by trade and though I have spilled countless drinks in my time the most memorable was when I was making whipped cream and was screwing in the whip-it to make the heavy cream froth, the canister must have been off centered or loose because the lid of the canister burst open, covering me, the floor, the walls all around me, our vaulted ceiling with whipped cream. You can still see the residue of the cream we could reach at the top of the wall to this day.

Katie Bauer

I spilled a bottle of breast milk right after I had pumped it. Being sleep deprived and hormonal new mom, I began to cry. My husband asked me “what’s wrong?” Between sobs and growing laughter I replied “I am, literally, crying over spilled milk.”

Melissa 'Mj' Fordos

I remember once when I was out drinking with friends, I was very drunk and thought because the straw was in my mouth that it would hold up my glass... Needless to say, I was wrong and got a lap full of vodka orange juice!

Andy McCabe

In high school I knocked a full coffee on a friend who was wearing a white shirt, and then promptly ran away instead of apologizing. I should also mention I spilled their coffee on them not my own

Sahara

Once walked into a glass door at an airport with three steaming hot coffees. Had burned hands for the entire holiday and the stain was still on the ceiling when we flew back. You'd be surprised at the sheer velocity coffee can reach when you slam the cups into a wall at full stride.

Luciana

I was a camp counselor this summer & one of the songs requires us to bang on the table at the end. I was getting really into it & the banging came & I was a bit too enthusiastic & hit the table hard enough that the very hot cup of coffee next to me bounced off & spilled all over my boss. I could not stop laughing & was just mopping up hot spilled coffee while my boss had to keep singing

jacket22

Very recently at a bar, I was trying to convince everyone that I didn’t need to slow down and accidentally knocked over a table of drinks while trying to slide into our booth.

Jor Elare

I was bartending and doing a flashy three bottle pour to make a fishbowl drink (there was one next to it with a flaming decoration piece in it). I didn't secure the easy pour spout on one of the bottles which happened to be 151 rum. It popped out, spilled all over the bar and caught flame up my arm. My brain shut off and I slapped at it with one of the other bottles, which slipped out of my hand and smashed on the floor. Had to be put out with a fire extinguisher.

Owen Rath

I was making a bowl of cereal and as I went to put the box back, I accidentally clipped the top of the bowl, causing it to slip off the edge of the counter. My initial instinct was to try to soften the bowl’s landing by “catching” it with my foot. So, instead of it smashing on impact with the ground, it smashed upon impact of my foot, sending milk and cereal all over the floor.

Pacey

I once spilled 4 pints of beer, 2 of which were not mine!! By tripping on the foot rest on the bottom of the bar. Spilling a pint of beer is the adult equivalent of dropping an ice cream!!

cellarrat

I work at a winery and make the wine. There have been many times where I have accidentally unhooked the wrong hose or opened the wrong valve on a tank and gotten sprayed directly in the eyeballs with wine going with the force of several 100 gallons behind it. It's been over a year and I have still not managed to learn.

Rhiannon Lang

A few weeks ago, I went with my roommate to get her third lobe piercing. Beforehand we had gotten drinks and food from a nearby coffee shop. I had gotten a chocolate milk since I don’t drink coffee. When we arrived back to the piercing shop, I was the last to go through the door. One of my other roommates didn’t hold the door open long enough for me so I tried to catch it, but ended up spilling chocolate milk all over myself and the door. Luckily the receptionist was super nice and got me paper towels, but i felt so bad

Bunnymcsnuggles

I just got out of a 12 hours shift, got a nice iced coffe on my way home didnt drink it at all yet to savor when i got home. Put in on one side of my desk then went to grab a reusable cold cup on the opposite side to put the drink into and as i went back i hit the bottom of that cup on my drink and knocked it over onto my dogs bed and proceeded to shampoo and clean my dogs bed for the next hour and got no coffee

Nathann Morais

I don't have a spill story right now, but can we PLEASE refer to Caldwell as a Spillcialist on this episode? Thank you

Cats

One time I went to take my 3rd shot of rum and it went down the wrong pipe and spit blasted the coffee maker next to me and dropped the shot glass. Had to stand to the side and cry a little cuz it hurt and was so chaotic.

Erik Qvistgaard

I don't have one or my own, however my parents are married due to a spill my dad made back in the 80's (no innuendo) My dad went abroad for college from Denmark to the states. No surprise there are cultural differences between countries. For a party my dad invited my mom, my mom assumed he meant as a date. When she showed up for the party he had invited anyone he knew. My mom was rightly annoyed, and started talking to an ex at one point. My dad noticed and "accidentally" spilled beer down her neck, and obviously he had to help her home. The rest is history as they say

Mike Cathcart

We were playing the cup game where you clap and slap the table in rhythm and move the cup around. When I went to do it I didn't realize there was a full cup of juice in my cup so it went everywhere.

Sophie Geffros

Scene: I, a 22 year old college student, was running for city council. I didn’t have a lot of nice clothes and only owned one suit and a white silk shirt, which I wore to debates and big events. After an afternoon of canvassing in the heat, me and my campaign team headed to a local bar to have some drinks before I attended a candidate forum in the evening. You can probably guess where this is going. As we were sitting around and laughing about our day I was gesticulating heavily, as is my wont, and… well, there’s no way of saying this that makes me come off terribly well. I punched the pitcher of beer, knocking it to the table and completely drenching myself and several of my campaign team members with the cheapest beer on tap. My silk shirt was drenched and I didn’t have time to change, so frantically ran to the bathroom and soaked it under the tap. I attended the candidate forum that night in a wet silk shirt that smelled faintly of beer, and was only just able to cover up my bra — which you could now see completely through the wet, beer-tinged silk— with a mens sport coat I frantically borrowed from my friend. I didn’t win that election, and while I don’t *think* the beer incident was the main reason, I guess I’ll never know. (Please don’t use my actual name for this one: preferred pseudonym here is Contrite Candidate)

Mirarreiro

I was having a particularly bad day and my then boyfriend now husband suggested we go to taco bell to help cheer me up. I was in the middle of venting about how sad I was when I grabbed my large cup of Baja blast by the top of the cup and the lid completely came off. It proceeded to spill all over me, the table, our food, and the floor. I felt horrible and went to the front to ask for some napkins while also sobbing. They didn't work and we had to drive the 20 minute car ride home sticky. We laugh about it now but I had never been more upset with myself in my life 😂

DMCDawg

On my first day at my new job, the whole team took me out to lunch. There were probably 10 of us at a restaurant you would probably consider moderately fancy. I was seated at the center of the table, which was actually 2 tables pushed together. Halfway through the meal, I put my water down in front of me, but since I was at the center, I actually put it down on the point where the two tables met. One table was about an inch taller than the other, so the glass fell over immediately and dumped its contents completely. Water went over the whole table, my lap, and the lap of my manager who was sitting next to me. She was not pleased, but she handled it with grace. Remember, this was my first day at the new job and all of this happened AFTER I had already spent the entire morning down in the parking deck, dealing with triple A because my car battery died the moment I pulled in. Not a great start but I was thankfully able to move past it and I’ve been with the company for 7 years now.

Maverick Pollet

I used to work at a coffee shop. One day I was making a drink that had chocolate drizzle, but the tip of the chocolate bottle was clogged. When I squeezed the bottle it exploded all over my clothes and shoes. They ended up having to send me home 4 hours early 💀

Sydney Olshak

i made myself some chocolate milk like the mature adult 22 year old i am and then 20 seconds later proceeded to trip over my phone charger and spill it all over my purse, bed, nightstand, water bottle, notebooks, and tissues :(

Katie Chin

At summer camp, we played a game at mealtime called "freeze" where you had to stop moving wherever you were and the first person to move had to help put away the dishes. One kid was freezed while passing a pitcher of juice across the table (as a sneaky ploy by another camper) and eventually couldn't hold it anymore, spilling it sideways onto the camper next to him.

Kevin Mcconnaughey

Ahem... when I first started working there (3am - 3pm) we'd have the nastiest black coffee. One of my coworkers said that he usually just goes to the milk tank and puts some fresh milk in his coffee. Being new and stubborn, I didn't ask how he did that and just started undoing the valve that held the milk in thinking i could just get a trickle out. That did not happen. Instead, the valve flew off and milk started pouring out with unbelievable pressure and speed. I finally got the valve back on after roughly 1.5 tons covered me and the floor. I smelled like curdled milk for so long after..

Edgar Lopez

I worked as a nursing assistant in a hospital, so my scrub color was a light sky blue. Went into patient room to do something and they had the lights of. I go to move the bedside table to get to the remote for the light. Unfortunately, I did not notice the open water bottle in the table, so as I got to move the table the bottle topples and half of itspills all over my pants. Worked for a few hours looking like took a huge piss on myself.

Emilie Jane

I don’t know if it’s my most impressive spill, but it is my most recent. I just had a cup of tea in my bath and dropped the entire cup into it. I had about 2/3rds left and it was that perfect temperature and ratio of milk. Truly a loss.

salted_slug

I'm a plumber, I was working at a new home construction site doing all of the finishing touches. PVC primer is a purple liquid that I swear to God defies gravity and runs up hill. I managed to drop an entire quart of the stuff, all over the brand new tile and drywall in a bathroom, staining the entire room and myself purple. It was a bad day.

Jsbwalker

One night at about 2 in the morning I had a massive craving for eggs benedict. I went downstairs and made it all from scratch, including the hollandaise sauce, I was so pumped. I brought it back upstairs to eat in bed and right as I was getting into bed the plate slipped out of my hand and runny eggs, sauce and all, fell directly onto my sheets. I was more mad that I lost the eggs than the clean up required.

Mike Cathcart

One time when we were leaving Lowe's after buying paint primer, we spilled the whole can in the parking lot. 5+ years later, that stain is still there.

Ryan Savage

When I was a kid I was notorious for knocking full drinks over. Fast forward to me in my mid twenties still being made fun of for it by my entire family. Someone said, "Don't put the drinks to close to Ryan." Which annoyed I reply, "I haven't spilled a drink in years!" As I knock over full glass of soda.

Amanda Blackburn

I was at Sonic with a boyfriend as a teen and we’d both ordered strawberry milkshakes - which he handed to me and I put between my thighs. The outer one started to slip off the seat, so of course I clenched my thighs to catch it which resulted in both milkshakes erupting all over me and the vehicle. 🤦🏻‍♀️ The carhop said, oh shit! And brought us napkins and new milkshakes. 🥴

DressKarma

One day before work I was preparing myself to go in. I told myself "today will be a good day!" Then immediately spilled coffee all over myself.

Tadhg O'Keeffe

Accidentally bumped into someone in a nightclub spilling their drink. I ran away and the man turned around yelling 'ya don't spill a man's gargle' and squared up to my friend who hadn't run away

Samson

My buddy brought home a VERY expensive bottle of Chinese spirit from China. Long story short, I gesticulated a little to emphatically and it ended up all over his Persian rug. He was a knob tho so alls well that ends well

Abigail Hood

I was about 3 days away from having my baby and hormonal because of the pregnancy. I decided I had a craving for a brownie but if I was going to have chocolate I needed milk. While I was pouring the milk the baby kicked really hard and I dropped the rest of the gallon of milk on the floor. Instead of cleaning it up, or going out to get milk, or even cleaning myself up I sat down and cried for like half an hour. I litterally cried over spilled milk. Pregnancy sucks 😂

jenavieve

spillboy caldwell i fell your plight. i too have oft spilled. i used to work at a popular coffee shop drive through. at this drive through i had produced many of spills, however this is my most grievous offense. my mother had some by to visit me, and to order a coffee. she ordered a large frozen coffee beverage, topped with whipped cream and cinnamon. my mother pulled up in her freshly washed ruby red pontiac solstice. the sun was out, the top was down, she was on her way to have dinner with some old friends. i approached the window with her drink in hand, and slipped on the freshly mopped floor. feet out under me my arms through the window, the drink flew out of my hands and my head hit the wall. the drink flew right onto my poor mother, covering the interior and some of the exterior of her car. and that friends. is my most grievous spill. i did help her clean and got her a new drink. we laugh about it now and anytime i give her a drink she razzes the hell out of me. she razzes me at every family gathering and every dinner. i love her a lot thank you mom and sorry for spilling on you.

Wren Warren

As I opened a beer bottle, I dropped it flat on a coffee table and on reflex bent down to pick it up - the impact caused the beer to foam up and splatter all over my face, my clothes, and the table...

Marisa

A few years ago I was trying to re-light a candle and i spilled hot wax on my laptop. From that point on the 2 and 3 number keys didn't work. Those keys are also the # and the @ symbol. So every time i needed a 2, 3, # or @ I would need to find creative ways to google so that I could find what i needed to copy and paste. I would google like, the word "hashtag" or "numbers" or spell out "twenty three". I did this for almost a year before I got the keyboard replaced.

Siri Premfors

I was drawing and had just finished a piece that had taken me 3-4 hours, in a drawing pad that had several other multiple hour works, and my laptop was standing next to me with some references. I was also drinking chocolate milk. I was going to refill my glass and went to habitually shake the milk carton. I had neglected to put on the cap. Chocolate. Milk. Everywhere. I have not had a glass of chocolate milk since, it now repulses and enrages me whenever I see it.

Cat Gaillard

When I was a waitress I accidentally spilled an old man’s iced tea all over his lap when I was trying to put it down in front of him. He asked for napkins to clean himself up but I was so stressed out I forgot and he was wet the whole meal.

Gabrielle

I finished a fruit cup but I didn’t want to stand up and throw it out quite yet so I stupidly put the spoon into the cup. It tipped immediately and I got the juice all over my desk. You wouldn’t think fruit cups had a lot of juice until you beheld the horrific stained state of my important school papers.

Chris Kelly

When I was a kid my parents and myself would go to a local diner for breakfast once every couple months. This was usually a reward for me doing well in school. I was so excited to sit down with my big pancake breakfast that I did not realize half the plate was off the table. When I went to cut into my pancakes I fully flipped the plate onto my lap. Syrup.. pancakes.. butter all over myself. I just sat there so upset at myself that I dont believe I ate anything that morning. As an adult I am nervous for any plate that is not 100% on the table from this memory of the pancakes I lost. -chris K

Brad Donaldson

I was 15 in high school and I stayed at a friend's place one weekend. His mom is a chef and likes to cook so in the morning she made an elaborate breakfast. Pancakes, Sausages, Bacon etc all displayed beautifully on a platter. First thing that happens is I go to pick up the pitcher of orange juice, it slips and spills OJ all over the platter and onto the table. I felt so terrible, I'm 34 and I still think about it often.

Sarah

i was exhausted after work one day and my boyfriend offered to make me a hot chocolate after dinner so i could feel cozy in bed. he brought it to me filled right to the brim and stressed that it was super hot so i had to be careful drinking it. i was sitting in bed, sipping it and holding it to my chest while we watched a show. he then seemed to immediately forget that he had just given me a scalding hot drink and JUMPED ON THE BED. it spilled all over my chest and the bed - we had to soak the sheets which had Just been freshly changed and i needed to hold a damp towel to my chest for the rest of the night

Kristen Powers

2008. We had JUST got our new car and we’re driving to my in-laws to show it off. Stopped at the gas station and got a toddler-sized cup of soda. Got back in the car, go to set my purse down and balanced the cup between my legs but apparently not securely enough. Over the cup tipped, dumping what felt like 30 lbs of sticky soda and ice alllll over my seat, the middle console, the floor, the dashboard…everywhere. You ever see that scene in The Shining, where all the blood comes cascading into the hallway?? Yeah, it was about like that.

Mason Shucart

Not me but my brother's friend. He had a big plastic cup of Kool Aid. My brother asked him what time it was and turned his wrist to look at his watch, but he still had the cup in his hand. He spilled Kool Aid DIRECTLY into his pocket, like the whole thing. It was hilarious.

A Mason Jar Full of Bees

Well we were at a friends house and I had just finished making spaghetti bolognese. Because our friends didn’t have bowls I served it on plates and as soon as I sat on the couch almost all of my spaghetti sloughed off into my lap on my pants shirt and the couch.

Nate Harling

My first and last solo acoustic show was at a brewery. Was very nervous but managed okay until I forgot the lyrics halfway through a song. Tried to do a bit by turning around and asking my non-existent band for the next line and accidentally knocked my beer onto the house speakers. I was not asked to return.

Jason Rodriguez

I did not spill a beverage at the table, but had a spill in game. It was the first session of curse of straud with my grave digger scribe wizard with the dungeon delver feat. Me and the bard went into the dead house and made our way to the basement. We came across a spike pit and had no rope to cross. I expertly climbed down into the pit avoiding damage and was able to climb to the other side. While there, I asked the bard to toss his lantern before he tried to jump across. I failed the check to catch it and dropped the oil lamp into the spike pit. Now with a flaming spike pit, I reached my hand across to try and assist the leap. Once across, several ghouls came charging in towards us with a fiery spikes behind us. We had a tense laugh and rolled initiative.

Dana A

oh my god. a couple of weeks ago, I was over at my girlfriend's parents' house for our weekly family dinner. we ended up playing a board game (Mind The Gap, a trivial pursuit-like game) with a board and a bunch of cards. I had a glass of water. I reached to grab the dice, and knocked my glass of water onto the board. water went EVERYWHERE. you'd think the story ends here, but no... my gf's mom grabbed the board (to "save it") and effectively threw it across the room- the cards and pieces that were on the board went FLYING and things ended up much more soaked than they would have been 😂 we spent the rest of the night trying to save all the cards and dry them off, leaving everything spread out across the table... I left feeling pretty bad because I put a pretty abrupt stop to the game and ruined a bunch of the cards but now we have a good family inside joke 😂

Deena Shirkool

Just last night, I was tossing mini matcha kitkats at my roommates for Halloween and I was acting all non-chalant until on kitkat knocked over a cup of soy sauce all over my roommates sheets. Y’all that shit is potent. So I ran in with a wet rag and was trying to clean it up before it stunk up the place. I gave her an extra kitkat as an apology.

Joseph I

I didn't do the spilling, but I witnessed it. High School chemistry teacher had a jar of sodium metal and was demonstrating its reactivity with water. Turned, wrote the reaction on the board, and then turned back accidentally backhanding the entire jar into the pool of water. Caused a complete building evacuation in suburban Chicago in January.

Sam Deschamps

Not a beverage but in highschool me and my friends went to a party, got drunk, and then they slept over at my place. When we got back to my place I made a huge pot of split pea soup for some reason but I was the only one who wanted any. I sat down on my chair in the basement and immediately spilled the bowl in between my legs onto the chair and was absolutely crushed. I realized that I had made enough that there was more, refilled my bowl, came back downstairs, and immediately spilled on the chair again. 😭

Anferny

Howdy spill crew! Remember when you were young and were excited to learn how to cook things? Well one of the first things I learned to make was ramen on the stove. When I was nine, I made a big piping hot bowl of ramen. I did not consider how hard it would be to safely walk a bowl of soup filled to the brim. I tried to shuffle all the way but the ramen still found its way to spill all over my hands, which actually gave me second degree burns and deprived a little kid his summer in the pool!

Arwyn Robinson

Not me but my husband. He was preparing dinner and was making the sauce for the chicken. It was stuff like garlic, soy sauce, brown sugar, hoisen, stuff like that. He went to grab something out of the spice cabinet and a jar fell and when he lifted his hand to try and catch it he ended up basically throwing the entire bowl of sauce up in the air. Sauce freaking everywhere. It was dripping off his head and down his body and I could see that he was absolutely seething inside (probably like what Murph described when he spills). I immediately jumped into wife damage control mode and had him strip naked in the kitchen from all his sticky, dripping clothes and sent him to go shower, then as FAST as I could I got to work cleaning the spill. There was sauce in the cabinet on our spices, all over the counter, all down the cabinets, all over the floor, under the fridge, it was a MESS! I managed to get it all cleaned up by the time he got out of the shower and could show him how it wasn't a big deal, but the tension in the silence during when he made the second batch of sauce was pretty palpable. (side note: he did thank me later once he wasn't mad anymore and dinner was delicious, but our kitchen smelled like an Asian restaurant for a solid week after).

Kelsie Crawford

Not an actual spill. But I had picked up a crowler of a cherry lemonade Berliner Weisse on a Friday. Not thinking (or reading the can that clearly said "keep cool), I left the unopened can out on my living floor. Come Wednesday morning, I get up and it's still dark out. I hadn't turned on the living room light yet. And I notice a wet blob on the floor. My immediate thought is wondering just how sick one of my cats got in the middle of the night. I turn on the light. And to my horror, the can of cherry lemonade I was excited to try had exploded open. Easily 2/3 of the contents now rested on my vinyl flooring and soaking into the corner of my living room rug. I quick clean it up as I only had 15 minutes to get to work. When I finally get home from work and get the floor all properly cleaned up, I sit down on the ground and then lay flat. That was the moment I noticed the pink splatter on my ceiling. It's been 2 months since.

Bransy330

First job: grocery store bakery spilled a 5 gallon bucket of frosting. While working at Trader Joe's: multiple times lost entire stacks of milk crates complete with gallons of milk while unloading pallets. Milk sleeping into your shoes is a terrible feeling...and smell. Current job: 2 phones in the exact same spot and a full magazine for my pistol while fueling my work boat (I'm a Game Warden) Pro tip* if you spill salsa, olive oil, or a similar liquid use two pieces of cardboard and push them together to scoop most of the major spill pre mop up.

Magnus Seines

When I was in college I slept over at a girlfriends apartment. Her apartment was very small so she used drawers under her bed to store dry foods etc. I wake up in the night and have to go to the bathroom, i take a step out of bed and hear a crunch, but don't think much of it... We wake up to the next day to the smell of olive oil, yeah the crunch was me crushing a full bottle of olive oil, that is now soaking the entire floor under the bed and everything in her food drawer..

FeyWyldRat

Hospitals have a lot of weird policies about allowing their staff to, um how should I put it, oh yeah have access to basic human needs like water. And force staff to only consume water in very specific areas of the unit. At my old hospital, our "hydration station" as it was called, was a refrigerator in the dead center of the ER behind the nurses station that we put all of our water bottles on top of. On one uncharacteristically "q word night" I, a 5'2 gremlin of a human, went to reach for my water and knocked over my aluminum bottle. In the process it also took down a glass tumbler full off coffee. It was the loudest sound I had every heard and I got shards of glass over the nurses station. I was brand new at the time and felt so embarrassed. The worst part was that I never found out who's glass tumbler I broke to buy them a new one 💀

Spanky

I was always the spill guy growing up. One time we were in Chicago for a band trip and I had already developed my reputation at this point. During a dinner at a well-known deep dish pizzeria, I spilled my drink all over the shared pizzas and breadsticks, rendering the whole meal ruined. I never lived that down, even all the way through high school hahaha

Ryan Natwick

I was driving to work a few months ago and was having a vanilla protein shake when my mind blanks and I drop the drink with the lid off. Tons of shake spill on on my crotch leaving a vaguely white film. The only thing I could think to do was start pouring my water bottle out to rinse it because pee pants ar work is better than a white stain.

Cody W

I was about 8 or 9, going to the beach with my Mom, stop at a Goodwill to thrift like one does at the beach. Saw some weird looking tiny vase thing, reach up on top shelf to try and grab it, turning it towards me. It was actually a scented opened perfume vase, I learned and smelled as it splashed all over me and my clothes. I smelled of a salty vanilla grandma for longer then any under 10 child should

Ingrid Kooda

Not necessarily a beverage but I did once sit down in my engineering class and fumble my perfect toasted Asiago with Jalapeño cream cheese bagel off the tiny desk straight onto the back side of the girl I was trying to be friends with backpack. We both sadly watched it ooze down to the floor 😭

Solène Margueret

I was in the gym when listening to NADDPOD when Emily responded to the question “what’s the biggest thing you’ve seen” with “a chair” and I projectile spat my water all across the weightlifting area. It was so funny and caught me off guard, I had to play it off as coughing

Brett

Not DnD but I was the light and sound guy for our local dinner theatre and I spilled an entire sprite on the switch board. I am no longer the light and sound guy for our local dinner theatre.

MG

Not a drink, but a few years ago I spilled a whole pie in my car. My partner and I had just gotten back from apple picking, and had a whole pie from the orchard shop in the back seat. All of a sudden, I had to break suddenly. The pie flew from the back seat, and spilled all over. We salvaged most of it, and ate our reassembled pie scoops in bowls, because it was just that good!

Dave 3D Art

One day in Grade 7 I decided to go to the gas station for Instant Noodles for the first time. Not knowing the procedure for the hot water I filled my cup before putting the noodles in. When I put the noodles in to cook, the scalding water spilled over my hands. In pain I couldn't let go of the cup, but after a minute I was able to let go. I threw it into a candle display, and it was a mess of broth and dissolved sugar. I left five bucks, and ran out of there. Really should have gone to the hospital, my hands were bad.

Josh M.

When I was like 8 I was sippin on some orange sode at the candy shop at camp. It spilled on a table and floor and two guys my age started to slurp it off the surface. I dont talk to them anymore.

Suzanna DePeri

when i was around 15 i was at a friends house for a sleepover. there were a few of us there. at this time my dream was to be a guitarist in a band, and i fancied myself a bit of an expert at the guitar. my friend had this pink sparkly electric, and she was really into music, so we were chatting about it and she said i could play it. i picked it up and noticed one of the strings was really loose. i told her i could fix it, and she told me not to worry about it. but i was worried about it. so i started tightening the string, but it turns out she had strung it wrong and didnt want to tell me or deal with it, so the string snapped. i was startled and bumped into her desk, spilling a cup of water on paper, books, and her laptop. i was very apologetic and we got everything cleaned up, so ultimately the only casualty was the guitar string. sleepover continued as planned but i felt very bad and like an asshole the whole time for trying to show off my ~~guitar knowledge~~

Gavan Gardener

Something I can contribute to! Working at a bar/restaurant (Wetherspoons, for the brits in the know) I was clearing a table and managed to spill an old half full mug of hot chocolate (cool, not boiling thankfully) on a ladies lap. To make it worse, she was wearing white trousers. I was horrified and shitting myself, but I was luckily enough to find the nicest woman to spill on who didn’t complain and was very reassuring. Wish I could find her and thank her for being such a legend!

Michael Lovell

I went to get food for everyone at work with a coworker. Coworker carried the food,, i had the drinks/milkshakes. Made it back to work successfully unscathed, all the way up to the door. Coworker went to open the door. I noticed the edge of the door was on a collision course with the drink carrier, tried to step back hurriedly, tripped over my own foot, landed on my ass and rolled backwards a bit (not a full revolution but rolled enough that half my back was touching the ground) because the door was at the top of a ramp. From the waist up I was covered in sweet tea, soda and milkshake. That story followed me around for the entire time I worked there lol

Jacob K

Waiter spilled a full tray of ice water all over me at a restaurant with several friends. Everyone kept looking at me with sad eyes and apologizing but, guys, they immediately comped all our meals without us asking or anything. I was so happy lol, so much free pizza

DnDiplomacy

During my PhD viva (remote thankful) I attempted a gulp from my 20oz flask and just didn't connect with my mouth. Instead I poured loads of ice water down my chest. I somehow managed not to yelp and pretended everything was fine, but had to act like I wasn't soaked for the next hour of questioning. It's worse because my examiners were lovely and absolutely would have let me go to change if I asked, but I wasn't brave enough to admit it (and wasn't entirely sure it wasn't grounds to remove the title before I even got it...)

Riccarda Eickenberg

I was traveling to a wedding with my partner and one of our best friends this summer. We were meeting our friend at the Houston airport to jump on the final flight together and figured what better way to start the trip than with a round of mimosas at the airport TGIF. We ordered a round of mimosas for everyone and hugged our friend welcome. Luggage and carryons stored under the high top. As I sit down I knock the table and with it ALL mimosas on the table. The glasses shatter and sticky, sticky OJ goes EVERYWHERE. The table. The floor. Suitcases. Carryon. Backpacks. Nothing was safe. We spent 20 minutes wiping down everything with sanitizer wipes because that’s all we had on us….. Luckily, the server covered the floor and glass shards. Though they laughed at me they also replaced our mimosas at no additional charge.

PeacockQueenManu

When I was 13 or so, we were over at family friend's house. I knocked over a candle, spilling wax all over their dining table. For about a year or 2 after, they wouldn't have us over and their kids didn't hang out much with us. Turns out they were coming to terms with coming out and afterwards things were back to normal. But for more than a year I thought they hated my family because I spilled that candle.

Jen Calhoun

I was scheduled to work on a new show at work, and was crazy nervous about it. First thing I do when I get into the control room is spill my whole Dunkin coffee (which I needed for my nerves!) all over my comms panel and computer, frying both 🙃

William Thompson

I've worked at a Starbucks for several years. We suffer spills often as baristas, both behind the bar and in the cafe. The worst for me was when I brewed a full batch of hot coffee and I left the spigot on the pot open, resulting in me having to clean spilled coffee off the counter and cabinets below with many rags and a mop.

Holly Garrick

One time I returned home after a night shift and wanted some soup , but when I got it out of the can and heated it up I saw it had a few lumps in it. No problem, I thought, I will simply strain the soup to remove the lumps. In my exhausted state I then proceeded to hold a sieve over the sink and pour the hot soup into the sieve, having full trust that I would be left with a sieve full of soup and a sink full of lumps. Obviously what actually happened was that the soup went through the sieve, hit a dish in the sink, splashed me in the face and then went down the drain. Cut to me, soup in my eye and holding a sieve full of soup lumps. A bad spill, a bad state of affairs.

JesterTheCleric

I have a "drinking problem" that my family jokes about because I can spill most liquids if put in a cup, because I just cant seem to get it all in my mouth. I have spilled many a glass of water on my shirt in the process of attempting to drink it.

Stephen Miller

I used to rest my drinks on my windowsill right next to my bed. One night when I was watching a film, I'd put a full to the brim pint of milk on it. The wind blew the window open just a tiny bit and the whole pint spilled all over the bed. I was so so annoyed, changed my bedsheets and tried to dry it as best as I could. Got it all sorted, got a second pint of milk and as I went to go back to my bed to watch a film, I dropped it all over the bed. Two pints of milk in the same night I was fuming.

jacobgmcdonald

5th grade, on my very first “date”. Just finished seeing the movie “Dear John”. Walking out through the mall I dropped my supersize Sprite cup all over my date’s feet

Niall Begley

I worked at Wegmans when I was in high school and dropped a customers 2-liter soda and it somehow landed directly on the cap. It smashed the cap and somehow righted itself on the floor and soda came out like a geyser straight up, touching the ceiling and completely soaking me. So embarrassing as a teenager. They didn’t even let me go home after that so I had to work the rest of my shift wet and sticky.

Ben Delahay

At my college during sophomore year I briefly got famous around campus as the guy that slips on pickles. On four separate occasions, I slipped on loose pickles that careless people left in my wake. On one occasion, I slipped and fully scorpioned. I became soaked in a Barq’s Root Beer. An entire table of people witnessed the ultimate spill and slide and attempted to help me and the remains of my turkey burger. A cafeteria worker helped me up and asked if I was okay. She recognized me because this was the second time this had happened to me this week.

Jen Barnes

I was putting my just made Iced coffee in the fridge so i could help my toddler. As i am closing the door i catch the straw and pull it down and it splatters all over the whole fridge. I had to deep clean the whole thing.

Dawson Mudd

This happened pretty recently, I was playing dnd online with some friends and everytime someone gets a natural 1 or 20 me and the dm takes a shot. So last night our Paladin Amy roles a nat 20 after a very full night of shots, so I go and grab my glass and I knock it down instead covering me, my dice, and my iPad. There was booze everywhere dripping of the table

Lucas James Bennett

I still get nightmares about this one. My anxiety was on high alert as I drove to the Arizona bar exam in my 2004 Chrysler Crossfire (one of the dumbest purchases I’ve ever made). One unique feature of this Stuart Little-esque car is that it only has one, largely unreliable cup holder. As I took a sharp turn, mentally focused on reviewing essay prompts in my head, my Venti sized iced coffee flew from the cup holder and burst open on the bottom of my shirt/lap. I was drenched in an insane amount of coffee. I ended up being really lucky that the testing site was near my at the time girlfriends house so I could clean up. TLDR—got soaked by coffee on the way to the biggest exam of my life (and passed 👨‍🌾).

TheCrowRunner

I meet a date at a small coffee shop and decided it was a good idea to get the largest size they had (probably 25 ounces). As I went to take my first sip, I picked up the cup by the rim, causing the lid to detach from the cup and spilling the entire coffee all over the floor. The two young girls that worked there had to stop taking orders just to come clean up my mess. There was no second date.

Jane R

A few years ago I was working the 6am bakery shift at a supermarket. This involved setting up the self serve coffee machine - cleaning, adding the beans and filling a large tub with milk. That fateful morning I somehow managed to drop the tub and spilled around 14 pints of milk on the floor and myself. I then had to work another 7 hours. Those shoes were never the same.

Paul Smith

I work as a professional stage manager, and the first day of my first professional gig we were taping out the set in the rehearsal hall. We do this by measuring off of a printed groundplan (blueprint) of the set. My boss bought us all Starbucks and I immediately spilled my latte all over this crucial document. My boss was understanding but I sure ruined the whole first day of work at my dream career

TarantulaFarts

This spill always comes to mind when spill stories come up. It wasn't me but a friend and I got to witness it. I was watching a friend in an intense pc gaming session. We were hanging out and he had his rc cola in a bottle at his desk next to him. I mentioned he should move it and yet he claimed he didn't have to worry. With one vicious swipe of the mouse he lightly tapped the bottle. Then in an attempt to save it from spilling he grabbed the bottle and swung it widely creating an arc that flung the soda completely over his keyboard. Of course being the good friend I was I laughed hysterically and his parents purchased him a new mechanical keyboard.

William LaPorte

I was sitting in the atrium of my college dorm with a 20 oz cup of Pepsi. The floor rumbled a little and the cup wiggled slightly but didn’t actually fall over…but in my fear of it falling over I overcorrected and slapped the beverage extremely hard in my direction and it exploded onto me, covering my shirt, pants, the chair I was sitting in and the floor below in Pepsi.

Caroline Martin

My literal first day working at a fancy restaurant, I was delivering drinks to a table on one of those platters. As I was bringing it down, I caught the edge of the platter on the guest’s shoulder, I overcorrected to not spill, and ended up basically throwing the drinks over the entire table, splashing every guest sitting there. They were all dressed so nice and the smell of the sticky sweet tea was overpowering. A different server took over their table, their whole meal got comped, and I sat in the walk in for 15 minutes debating just dipping out the back and never returning.

Em

My aunt and her husband had just bought their house and decided to host a housewarming party for our close family to see it. We were sitting at their dining room table just chatting and having fun after food when I accidently side swiped a full glass on red wine straight onto their brand new pale gray rug. Thankfully, my mom was able to prevent it from staining it permanently but they still haven't let me forget it. I was sober too when it happened.

Elliot

I was getting a popcorn refill at the movies with my friends, we were seeing the Keanu Reeves film Hardball. On the way back up the steps I tripped and spilled the entire bucket, just as (Hardball spoiler forthcoming) G-Baby was killed. So I saw the audiences reaction of shock and sadness and thought it was for my spill. It was pretty mortifying for me at 15. RIP G Baby

Renee Wild

Not quite a spill, but years ago I poured myself a glass of milk and went on with my day. Hours later, my brother found the half- full carton of milk inside our cabinet with the other clean glasses. I poured myself a glass if milk and instead of putting the milk back in the fridge, I put it in the cabinet.

Jack Synoski

Two short ones: many years ago when trick or treating with a group of friends we were standing around discussing what street to go down next and I was swinging my candy bag, which was a plastic shopping bag, around in a circle. The straps ripped and the bag sailed across the group hit my friend square in the face and the candy exploded all over the street where everyone promptly grabbed it up. Candy spill not a beverage but it was still a pretty big spill. Story 2: i once spilled cheese all over the ceiling of my friends car when I tried to throw a cheese dip container out the window.

DieBard

Vomit warning! Every year, my hometown has a yearly street fair. It has carnival rides, games, concerts, etcetera. I just finished my first year of high school and had made some senior friends through the improv team. This particular year's Fair fell on the weekend of grad skip, and one of my friends unfortunately failed to graduate, so I guess he wasn't invited. After spending a day at the fair with my friends, I ran into him after he had a few, and he pleaded with me to go on one final ride with him. Here's the thing—I don't handle them well. I eventually cave and we hop on the tilt-a-whirl for one last spin before it closes down for the night. The only seats left are opposite each other. It starts raining and any hope that the ride would close due to weather is washed away as I feel myself begin to rotate. It goes on for MINUTES. I hold back for as long as I can before I unleash the wrath of a thousand mini donuts onto the poor man standing next to me. My friend is cackling wildly at me from across the ride. I apologize once we get off the ride, to which the vomit covered man says "it's okay." I looked him dead in the eyes and replied "no, it's not" and we parted ways. Cut to my parents picking me up in the rain, reeking of booze and vomit because a guy on my improv team failed gym.

Olivia

One time in the 6th grade I was in the first class of the day and I was very tired. I unscrewed my Nalgene and proceeded to just pour it on my desk not realizing until the bottle was empty that I hadn’t properly taken a sip. My teachers back was to me and my friend and my friend just watched in horror as this happened but didn’t say anything because she didn’t want to call anyone else’s attention. We are 27 and still laugh about it to this day, using it as a bench mark for how tired we are.

Aly

Few years ago I was in the midst of eating mac n cheese and doing laundry. And our washer was VIOLENT. Without thinking, I set my bowl on this erratically spinning washer to pull clothes out of the dryer. 2 seconds later I hear a clatter and a splat and I turn to see an entire box's worth of mac n cheese on the floor. My sister has a photo of me crying on the floor next to a sad, flipped bowl of mac n cheese 😂

Timothy the 30 something trekkie

In college I would alway get a cup of coffee from the convenience store on my way to class. On one particular cold and icy morning, I took maybe two steps outside the store, coffee in hand, when I slipped and fell facedown sending my coffee flying. Luckily the clerk felt bad for me and I got a free replacement.

C. Dacey Tidwell

Sorta spill? : I was at the dinner table with my mom and sister and we were discussing an acquaintance and our dislike of some of their personality/mannerisms when I was maybe 9-11 years old. I had a glass of iced tea with my dinner and was taking sips while I was trying to be diplomatic and kind in my explanation of why I was not fond of this other kid/person. My mom then suddenly said “well she is a hoity-toity know it all” and I was so stunned and thought it was so funny at the time that I snorted iced tea out of my nose all across the dining room table.

Robert Aronowitz

We call this moment, "The Great Cheese Incident." During the pandemic my partner and I moved out to the mountains with her parents for what we thought would be 2 weeks. We brought our Beagle with us from NYC and she managed to charm most of the household into giving her table scraps and human snacks with the exception of one man, my partner's father. This fateful day however, he was shredding a crazy amount of cheese, I mean a MOUNTAIN of it. He would typically shoo her away, but she was looking on from under the counter when suddenly the cutting board he was shredding onto slipped causing cheese to RAIN down upon Daisy the Beagle. She frolicked in the cheese shower wildly as we attempted to grab it off the floor while trying to stop laughing. From then on, Daisy has never left his side while he's in the kitchen hoping and praying for another Great Cheese Incident.

Emily M

In high school, a guy who I had been secretly crushing on all year randomly asked me out on a coffee date. We went to a popular local coffee shop and I got self-serve iced tea. While trying to put the lid on, it slipped and spilled all over me, and the floor. As a cripplingly shy high schooler, I was mortified as all heads in the coffee shop turned to look at me. The guy was nice enough to help me clean it up and we got back to the date. We ended up having nothing in common, we talked for a long time about the weather and spent much of the car ride back in painful silence. We never spoke again after that.

Carly Anne

When I was a freshman in college, I went to my boyfriend’s frat’s Christmas party. While my he was getting us drinks, I went upstairs to use the bathroom. Returning to the party, I tripped at the top of the stairs and fell forward, basically skiing down the beer-soaked stairs on my shins in front of everyone. My boyfriend had been waiting at the bottom of the stairs for me, and I plowed into him, causing him to drop the two full red solo cups of spiked eggnog on me. I don’t even like eggnog. I stood up, covered in nog, my shins bleeding, and everyone (including my now ex-boyfriend) chanting “FRAT FRAT FRAT.” I have since accepted that I am not a graceful person and avoid wearing high heels if I can.

Kal and her cats Portland, Star, and Berlin

i’m an actual grandma so i go to bed at 8-8:30 and wake up at like 4/4:30. because of this, i try to be extra quiet in the morning so that i don’t bother my neighbors downstairs and what not. it’s also relevant to know that i have 3 cats. 2 angels and one hellbeast. WELL. one morning i woke up at my normal time, made coffee, opened the patio door for my cats to go outside and went about my morning. angel cats being great, hell beast being great ish. i finished washing my face and went to get my coffee, and i guess there was a bug outside or something and freaken hell beast runs in like a maniac, hops onto my bar stool, KNOCKS IT OVER, terrifying me, making me drop hot ass coffee on my foot🙃 i then proceeded to try and quietly yell “FUCK” but i’m gonna be honest, i don’t think it was that quiet. in conclusion, cats are a gift and a curse, and i no longer drink hot coffee in the morning

Rob

I was studying abroad in Europe and had a classmate who left the love of her life back home. She video chatted him three times a day to check in. One night, she was awaiting his post-dinner call when I spilled a pitcher of wine—directly onto her open laptop. She didn't get to talk to him that night, or any other night after unless someone lent her a computer. They broke up when we returned home and I can't help but wonder if it was my fault.

Tyler in Tucson

Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, I hope my story pleases you. I spill so much, especially water, that in my friend group, my name has been verbed to refer to spilling a drink, as in, "Shit, I Tyler'ed my drink!" Even better, the friend who first verbed my name like this is now my wife.

ThrilloftheFright (Ashleigh)

When I was a teenager in the early aughts, I had a family dinner at a buffet-style restaurant with my crush and his family. While there, I laughed so hard that water and spaghetti came out of my nose in front of everyone. In the process of trying to cover my face with a napkin, I spilled my drink all over his food and my own. I was traumatized.

Nicole Jordan

Not really a story but everytime I’d go to a sports game with my dad as a kid we’d be walking back from the concessions and I’d somehow always spill his drink one time he spilled it onto another lady who then cussed me a 10 year old out

Alysha Lambert

I worked at a fast food restaurant and for some unknown reason they decided we needed glass coffee pots. They were terrible at keeping the coffee warm and I hated them. That night I placed both brand new pots on a cart to push back to dishes. The cart rattled so bad that the glass pots vibrated off the cart, SHATTERED, and spilled coffee every where. This is why we can't have nice things.

Gabriel Chavira

Me and my buddy brew beer from time to time. We were brewing a Kolsch in a 5 gallon bucket from Home Depot for about month. When we bottled it we got a good yield of beers. The only problem was that every beer would explode into a geyser when you opened them. Turns out I added too much sugar water for the bottling process and accidentally made a legion of bottle rocket beers that spilled everywhere. oooops

James Wagner

I commute to my college and so when I have long breaks in between classes I will sit in the library for 2 hours rather than taking a bus home. About two weeks ago as I was walking to my usual seat I dropped my AirPods case and when I went to pick it up my glasses fell off of my face and I farted louder than I ever had in public. In some weird stupid vain attempt to save face I stayed instead of running away so I was just sitting there so embarrassed for two hours completely silent.

Them fatale

I was analyzing the transcripts from my honors thesis research on my bedroom floor with very little will left to live and the worlds biggest mason jar of iced coffee (like 5 shots of espresso). I had a riz gukgak level conspiracy board going on my wall to analyze my data so i was crawling around from side to side and ended up kicking over the whole iced coffee on my carpet and my transcripts. This was the last of my will power. I gave up, put the coffee upright, and grabbed the first towel i could find then returned to blankly staring at my conspiracy wall. 2 minutes later i did the same thing and at the point realized maybe carpeted floor is not the best place for a lidless iced coffee. Did I mention it was 1am? Yeah. Bad time lol

Harrison Cyr

While I was DMing one time I wanted to tell my players something about the fight they just took part in, a "peek behind the screen", if you will. I actually tipped the screen forward to signal the peak, but in doing so I knocked a players beer off our tiny table onto the players stack of DND books and papers for the current and other campaigns. I take partial fault of course, but I maintain that that was poor beverage placement.

Mackenzie Moyer

I am a barista, so the amount of beverages I spill is…countless, at this point. But one time I was trying to bottle our chai concentrate, and my hand slipped and the hot chai came pouring down all over my front, and onto the floor. The rest of the shift I smelled like a walking candle, but I could have done without the soggy shoe for 5 hours 😭

billy nuttall

When I was much younger my family went to a restaurant that had two floors. On the second floor there was a balcony type area, that overlooked the rest of the restaurant. My family was seated right below where the balcony up top cut off. We ordered our food, and I went to the bathroom because I was bored waiting. When I returned, I see my family and a waitress frantically cleaning up our table right where my spot was. They then informed me, that the table seated directly above us, spilled a drink and it fell a story down. This is less of a spill story and more of a near death experience, or having a full glass fall on top of me had I not gone to the bathroom.

Paul and Megan the Twins

I was 13 years old and inside a KFC/Taco Bell/Pizza Hut combo. I had just had a bit of a growth spurt and had not realized that some of my “chonkiness” left me. I was walking back to the table my family was at with an arm full of drinks when I felt it. My pants started sinking lower and lower with every step. From waste, to lower v, to the bottom of the cheeks, I throw my legs out wider and wider with every next movement lying to myself I can make it to the table. My pants go to my knees and there is no movement left to make. I struggle to pull them up while still bearing the beverage burden… but fail. I trip over myself while lifting my leg for a chance to grab my pants I fall face first into the tiled floor and lay there as the five full sodas spill from my emotional dead and near now pantsless body. I am 32 now and this day still haunts my mind.

David Loughin

I just found myself a pair of tight pink jeans at a thrift store that barely fit and the first thing I do on the first day of wearing them in public was spill my iced lavendar latte on them

Michelle Henriksen

I was playing D&D with a group that includes my boyfriend (both PCs). My boyfriends character made a decision to go against the group on a decision and it landed us conscripted into an army. I got so into the roleplay of being angry at him that I knocked the glass of water I had to the floor, breaking the glass and spilling water everywhere! Everyone had a good laugh as we cleaned up and kept playing. And don't worry, the decision was totally in character so I wasn't mad IRL.

garett144

May I present "The Thousand Dollar Thrift Store Purse" story: This was my sophomore year of high school about 13 years ago. At the time my older brother was dating this crazy girl, we later found out was actually bipolar so this made more sense in hindsight. One night my brother, his gf, two of our cousins, and I went to see a movie, and I got one of those extra tall extra wide movie theater drinks. Well exiting from the movie I decided to get a refill of that monster cup. We were on the way home in a minivan while my oversized behemoth cup in that barely able to fit cup holder. One speed bump later caused it to tumble forward, and the open floor of that minivan meant it rushed forward all over her purse....she blew up...I mean exploded....her rage was a war zone and she was keen to let everyone know it was a 1000 dollar purse. It wasn't, she got it at the thrift store..this rage kept us all quiet as non of us were confrontational. Mere minutes late a song comes on the radio and she cheerfully starts singing along as she proclaims its her favorite song, now blissfully uncaring about her purse. I'm not trying to make fun mental disorders here, just definitely a bizarre situation if you aren't ready for it.

H.J.

Went to University of WI Madison and met my ex-wife there. We are both from the upper Midwest and used to cold and snow so when I asked her on a date in the middle of winter to an Italian place with REAL silverware I was excited. We decided to walk to the restaurant and as we stepped away from the dorm she said "careful it's icy out" to which I responded "No worries I from Minneassssooooootaaaaaaaaaa" as I face planted after slipping on ice. I stood up with a bloody nose, bloody lip, grit on my face, and wet dirty snow dripping down my beard. She wanted to cancel the date, but I decided to solider on and after I cleaned up I walked a lot more cautiously. How does this work with the drinks part you ask, well we decided to walk because we had both just gotten fake IDs and wanted to save as much money as possible for wine at dinner.

Anthony DiClementi

Once in high school I was walking around town with a friend. She tripped on the sidewalk and almost fell on her face. I started razzing her for this, and mid-razz I tripped and fell into the ditch, getting a face full of dirt, and my tea all over myself.

Charles

A month ago a few of my coworkers and I started going back to the office a couple days a week. End of the first day back we decided to have some of the unopened wine that was left pre-pandemic. We poured it into some coffee mugs and had it in our desk chairs. Now, during the pandemic we got new desks that could be raised for standing. I forgot I had it raised higher than normal. I turned in my chair to put the mug down and just totally missed the desk. Wine was everywhere. Now the carpet is permanently stained… with wine… where I work.

Araevin

Not a beverage, but I did manage to spill hot bacon grease all over my hand and arm one time when the pan slid off the stove. I was in terrible pain for several weeks - do not recommend! __ My girlfriend used to spill drinks all the time. So much so that after one specific incident where she spilled a glass of red wine all over a new book I got for Christmas (a day earlier), she was banned from using non-sippy cups when she came over, for a few years. She has since redeemed herself and uses normal glassware again.

Santiago Mareque

Not technically my spillage, but I’m the direct causer. In middle school, I was seating at a table with my friends for lunch, but we didn’t have enough chairs. I decided to take one from a table next to us. What I didn’t see was that someone younger than me was about to sit down with his hot dinner in his hands. Cue his food spilling everywhere on the floor, ruining it. I apologized profusely, and gave him part of my lunch, but he just sat on another chair, in silence, not touching any of it. Bear in mind, this was at the beginning of the year, and he was just starting middle school, and probably thought he was being bullied to. It’s been seven years, and my friends still razz me about how much of a bully I was. Wherever you are, I am still sorry, and I owe you lunch.

Emily Maier

Just a few weeks ago, I traveled out of town for a work meeting to meet coworkers and my boss in person for the first time. I was flying in so my boss offered to use her car to pick me up and drive us to our meetings and work events while I was there. We got large coffees from the hotel for breakfast the morning after I arrived and I wanted to throw mine away before we got into my boss’s car. As I was doing this, she stopped me and insisted it was okay that I bring it. I knew I had a history of spills, but wanted to accept her kind gesture and decided to bring my coffee and be extra careful. When we got to the office and parked, I tried to carefully remove my coffee cup from her center cup holder, but instead squeezed too hard, popped the lid off the cup and flung it into the drivers side seat my boss has JUST gotten out of! Luckily, it didn’t spill on her, but it filled her center console, her cupholders, her drivers seat, and ran to the backseat! I was laughing hysterically (in horror) and couldn’t stop apologizing, but she was really nice about it and the first half of the morning cleaning out her car before work!

chris conway

6 word spill story. Cat. Coffee. Wife. Sleeping. Hilarious. Divorce.

Aly

Not my spill, but there was a solid 2 year stretch where any time my family went out to dinner, our server would accidentally spill all our drinks onto my mom. Of course we still tipped, but it got so bad, eventually, we as a collective family exiled my mom to her own side of the table so we wouldn't be hit in the crossfire! It's been a few years since any spill accidents, but we remain cautious 😂

Tyler

We were playing dnd and mentioned using the "ewoks of endor" technique to defend a village from a big monster and my buddy choked on his beer and almost threw up and dropped the bottle on our table spilling everywhere and getting on the floor.

Moosed

So during the pandemic I was working from home. And I was in my morning meeting drinking my coffee. I was sitting at my desk and sitting on the floor behind my desk was my router. I wasn't paying attention and clipped the coaster. The cup fell over and I spilled coffee all over my router. I lost internet and had to buy a new router. Luckily it was a cheap one.

Jeffrey Steck, Lord of the Fjord

Not a beverage but a long time ago, working at a French bakery, spilled a 50 lb bag of cocoa powder on the croissant machine. Powder everywhere and it stained the machines white fabric brown. The bosses wife, Rose was livid and cursing me in French.

James van der Vord

I was at my fraternity’s toga themed party and I was coming downstairs from the top floor where I had just filled my solo cup to the brim with red sangria and as I was descending I slipped and fell down the entire flight of stairs, inadvertently spilling my sangria all over my face and white toga. A hush went over party as they saw my struggle to get back to my feet, and when I tried to defuse the situation by saying I’m alright, there so much sangria in my eyes and mouth that I couldn’t get the words out, so I just looked like a sad frat boi wiping away his tears in a sangria soaked toga, which of course was made from my only bedsheet. #TodaintheToga

Tyler Draehn

My parents grew cucumbers one year so I decided to make cucumber agua fresca in the kitchen for them to be nice. I was doing so good but the blender was too tall so when I opened the cabinet to grab a pitcher to put the beverage in the door knocked the whole thing to the floor and it erupted green agua fresca all over the kitchen and myself which my mom so kindly cleaned up as I cried. I’m 25 and this happened this year for the record. I cried over spilt agua fresca. Good news is we managed to get three glasses out of the little bit left so we all tasted how good it was! Lol

Ayn Like Ryan

Barista here, I spill something almost every shift. The biggest fumble I've experienced was from my boss (the owner) Biggest day of the year, line out the door. I'm throwin 'spro(making drinks), I hear a clash & a million tiny things falling, he has knocked over all our pre-weighed beans (about 1.75 pounds in various small ramekins) & is standing amongst them in shame whilst they bounce the kinetic energy out of themselves. Had to stop & cackle at him before getting back to work.

Tyson Conner

I was a caterer. First job out of high school. It was her wedding. She wore nice shoes. I had a tray of champagne. She was taking with a table of guests. I tripped. Champagne flutes tumble through open air. Cheap Prosecco and broken glass on wedding shoes. She got new shoes. I got a new job.

Miikra

Not a beverage, not even a food, but the first thing that came to mind when posed the question. I interned at a bank in high school and one day a person came in with a fairly large deposit. We took it off to the side but not out off sight of the man and counted the cash. It was about $10,000 in mostly 20s and 50's. I gathered it up to bring it back to the teller to complete the deposit. I grabbed the money in stacks and began to carry it over about chest high. This was apparently too obvious and with such large sums of money one should carry it lower and be discrete about it. I was told as much by the nearby manager and quickly corrected my mistake. Too quickly. In changing positions I fumbled the money and it "spilled" everywhere. There was a sizeable heap of loose bills spreading over the floor and all eyes were on my 16 year old self. Mortified, I sheepishly gathered up the bills glancing at the man, who was politely stoic, and my manager who was suppressing his massive annoyance. The rest of the transaction was tense but thankfully ended without further incident, but I still cringe about it to this day.

Drew Valvo

I was 5 and wanted to be helpful during a family dinner. My parents asked me to get the new, unopened gallon of milk from the refrigerator. I brought it proudly to the table. I missed the table and dropped it on the floor. An entire gallon of milk spread like wildfire under the table. I panicked and ran away. I don’t remember the outcome because I was so traumatized from embarrassment.

Jeff Merrill

Our fridge has a refillable water pitcher. So it's night. Dark. Eyes suck in the dim light. Water bottle is empty. Go to the fridge to fill up the water bottle. Open fridge to grab pitcher. Get blinded by the light inside. Close the door. Go to fill up my water bottle. Forget to take the top off. So i basically mopped the kitchen floor at 2am. Parched.

M

During a joint band and choir concert in middle school at their gym I was in the bleachers with the rest of the band while the choir was performing. During the choir's most soft and delicate song I dropped my trombone and it rolled and banged its way down the entire set of bleachers. I don't think I've ever heard something as loud as that clanging trombone since.

Axyl and Olympia

I went back in high school a year after I graduated to visit my old theatre troupe that I was apart of. At the end of their annual improv show they invite any of the old “encore players” to participate in a silly game where we all grab stuff and go around the theatre and pretend to kill eachother or die dramatically in slow motion. Well this was my first time participating since graduating so I went on stage and pretend to kill people, then I had to pretend to die. So I saw a small trash can at the base of the stage and looked in it and saw it was only empty Chip bags. Well when I turned it over to put it on my head a stream of chocolate milk came out and poured all over my head and clothes. I tried so hard to pretend like nothing happened but people could definitely tell

Yura

This is not exactly a spill story more like a pour story but here goes. When I was in third grade primary school, I bought a new bottled glue for an arts n crafts class. The product was advertised with a squeezable bottle that wont spill when tipped over. During recess, I cockily compared my new glue bottle to my friends' and tried to perform tricks with it, flinging it around to everyone faces, shaking it, and basically flexing on them. I remembered vividly what happened next. I was running all over the class while cheekily laughing and flipped the glue bottle upside down, it was probably because i was flinging it around earlier that the cap went loose and as I finished my lap around the class I heard the scream of everyone behind me as I had just poured most of the glue onto most of my classmates' heads, tables, and books. From that point on until graduation I was called the naughty glue boy and once on my birthday, my classmates rubbed glue all over my uniform probably as a revenge

Bryan Hancock

My significant other and I had a bottle of white wine and opened a second and filled our wine glasses. It was a Friday night and we were relaxed, so as these things go we took it to the bedroom. I put my glass down on a magazine on the bedside table and pick up a remote for the fan (hey it gets hot in the bedroom). I guess the base of the wine glass hung over the edge of the magazine because a tiny corner of the remote was underneath the base of the glass. I basically flipped the glass completely over towards the bed absolutely drenching a corner of the sheets, comforter, mattress, bed frame and rug beneath in white wine. Of course our first thought is well it's white wine it won't stain, maybe we can ~finish~ and then clean it up. Almost instantly, the stench of sticky and fermented fruity wine filled the whole room and completely killed the mood. We had to strip the bed, do laundry, dry the mattress, and clean the bed frame and rug. Now I'm not allowed to drink wine in the bedroom.

Nick

I worked at a grocery store in college and was in charge of the dairy section. While moving a pallet of milk into the cooler, I clipped the corner of the cooler door and the entire pallet fell over. Approximately twenty gallons of the milk shattered upon hitting the floor, flooding the cooler. It turns out that was the day the health inspector was visiting our store, and she opened the door to see me standing ankle-deep in milk trying to figure out what to do. The chosen would have been distraught seeing such a waste of good milk.

Shawn Sukert

I was out to dinner with my parents, my girlfriend, and her entire family. It was our parents first times meeting each other. I went to say something to her father, waved my hand like a maniac while talking, and slapped a full glass of red wine sangria, just all over everything, especially my crotch.

Paul and Megan the Twins

When I was in third grade I spilled hot boiling water on my stomach when I was wearing a nylon night shirt. My skin fused with it. At the time I knew that my mom would freak out (because Paul had pretty bad accident before and she yelled a lot) so I tried to get to my dad before she saw. She caught me half way to their bedroom and started screaming then brought me into the bathroom and ripped the shirt off with half of my skin along with it. I started laughing uncontrollably and couldn't stop which just kept making my mom angry or more scared so she freaked out even more. I now know second-degree burns can heal but, I've been wary of tea ever since. ~ Megan

Canis Corax

One day when my brother and I were young, probably around 5 and 7 respectively, my dad took us out to eat. He let us get "adult" cups with no lids, filled to the brim, and told us we'd BETTER NOT spill those big drinks. We were like okay, we've had drinks with no lids plenty of times, whatever. Of course during the meal, my dad knocked over HIS glass of water. Drenched the table, water onto the floor, the seats, everywhere. Wait staff had to come help us clean it all up. My brother and I couldn't stop laughing. Still make fun of him for it, and we are 23 and 25 now.

MalakirMortis

In the before times, we were at a restaurant and when my mom went to drink her drink the entire bottom of the the glass fell out and the full contents of that glass spilled everywhere. My sister still starts to cry laugh anytime it comes up.

Diggy Dordugler

When I was 19, I was working at a grocery store in the downtown area of a city. With the downtown area being so packed in, the grocery store was above street level so we got inventory delivered at street level, then had to load it into an elevator to bring it to the store. I was loading the dairy shipment into the elevator and the wheel of the pallet jack I was hauling it on got stuck between the floor and elevator. The load I had was all in milk crates, 4x5 crates stacked 6 high. This is important because when the crates onto the pallet, they wrap them with plastic wrap to keep everything stable. On this pallet, the person who wrapped it, used the perfect amount to ensure that the plastic could stretch enough to allow the first column of milk crates to fall from the sudden stop, but still hold enough to bring fully half of the pallet down with them. Something like 80 gallons of milk burst from their bottles and ran down the elevator shaft. Fortunately, this happened in December. Double fortunately, I wasn't still working there in the spring. I heard the stench was truly horrific.

Tyler Board

First in person session with mostly friends of friends. I set my pint down unknowingly on a D8. The beer tips and falls spilling all over the DM's laptop and game maps. Maps soaked, laptop fried, and session ended early.

David Ranly

My brother coming home from college and 30 minutes into a 5 hour drive bought a big gulp blue colored drink. Got back into his car put the drink between his legs and just when pulling away from the gas station he picked up the cup to drink but the top slipped off and dumped something like 64oz of sticky blue soda into his lap and seat. The poor sap had to just sit in it for 4.5 hours until he got home.

Chloe Louise

When me and my partner had our first anniversary around two years ago we went to a fancy Italian restaurant. It was pretty busy and we had a table right in the middle. We're always joking around, and that night my partner said something particularly funny. Right as I was drinking a glass of water. Managed to hold it in my mouth but I burst out laughing and the water WENT UP MY NOSE and out again, making me choke. Oh the shame as I, red faced and coughing, tried to wave away everyone looking at me from all over the restaurant all concerned. I also chocked so hard that I kept randomly coughing after. Not sure I've even been that embarrassed in a public place before or since.

Aaron Thomas

I have been a cook for over 15 years in multiple restaurants. I have on many occasions dropped entire 20 gallon buckets of sauce on the ground only to have them explode and get everywhere like a Tarantino beheading. Multiple......Times

Max Huftalin

I had four sodas in one of those drink carrying trays. My friends and I decided to eat out on the grass of our college quad. I started handing out drinks , holding the tray in the palm of my hand. Like a FOOL, I pulled the first two drinks from one side of the tray, which of course caused the tray to tip, and for two large sodas to splash all over my friend, who was laying on the grass to relax. She forgave me in the moment, after much apologizing, but we are not currently friends.

Humble Goblin

My first year of college i skateboarded to the cafeteria every day, and sometimes returned to my dorm with an ice cream cone in hand. On one fateful trip my board hit a small rock and sent me careening forward, i managed to catch myself and not drop the cone in front of a bunch of people, and even got a small smattering of applause. Unfortunately while i was collecting myself i sneezed very abruptly and crushed the cone in my hand, sending my ice cream toppling to the ground. I collected my board and walked away in shame.

KaptainSigyl

Less than a week ago, I was making a pot of tea. It was the last of some specialty, fandom-based loose-leaf tea, based on the Elder Scrolls. I got the kettle all heated and brought it up to my room, and began the steeping. I use a stool for the 'tea table' next to my desk, which was just a bit too far away. As I pulled it closer, the kettle lost traction and pitched off the side. All the leaves, and all but one cup of tea, still steaming, spilled out onto my carpet.

Dina

I have two stories, feel free to pick the one that you enjoy the most. Submission 1: When my son was first born, I was enjoying a quiet evening on the sofa with him slumbering peacefully away on my chest. I requested a carrot juice and continued watching TV. Some time later, I noticed these round orange patches on my son's infant scalp, and I panicked. I had read about these things! Look out for these harmless skin conditions that young children get! It's just their bodies adjusting the outside world. Of course, I called the evening hotline and described to them the livid spots staining my child's head. Of course, based on my harried description they thought it might be cradle cap. They calmed me down and told me what to do. I thanked them and reached back for my carrot juice to take a sip out of the straw.....Oh, it wasn't cradle cap. The straw had dripped carrot juice on my child's head. Submission 2: This happened last Sunday. I spent about two hours painstakingly rolling vegetarian grape leaves (Syrian name for them is "yalanji"). To complete the cooking process, they are pressed with a heavy clay weight and submerged in water whereupon they're placed on the stove and cooked for an hour. The final step is to drain the excess water (accomplished by holding the weight in place with two wooden spoons and pouring it out) then flipping the pot upside down onto a plate. This is a feat I have accomplished successfully many times with both vegetarian and meat based grape leaves (the meat ones are called "yabrak"). Needless to say, I rolled a 1 on the draining of this set of leaves. As I tried to get the last ounce of water out before I flipped the pot, the weight fell out, and grape leaves were strewn about the kitchen sink. It was a war crime against cuisine, I tell you. Thanks! Dina Kanawati

AmberDextrous!

Ah, finally time to reveal Amber's biggest fuckup. I was making garlic-infused olive oil to cook with, which involves heating oil to a high temp with sliced garlic in it. When I was done cooking, I moved the pot to my kitchen sink to cool. As I was cleaning up the kitchen, I accidentally knocked my cup of iced tea into the oil pot. The tea began to boil instantly, throwing up splashes of oil before the pot just EXPLODED a mix of hot oil and tea all over my kitchen, covering every inch of it. I luckily had the good sense to get out of the room as soon as I'd done it, but cleanup was an absolute nightmare.

Lizzy French

When I was like 13 years old, me and my friend walked to the local McDonald's for a couple of large Shamrock Shakes. Me, being a clumsy awkward preteen immediately tripped while walking away from the counter and the shakes went everywhere. As I tried desperately to slip and slid my way out of the Shamrock sludge towards the napkin dispenser, the manager asks the counter person if they could get a mop and clean my mess. Thats when that employee looks from the manager to my mess and begins screaming "I am so DONE. I am sick of getting treated like this, I am OUT." She continues to scream as she goes to the back of the store and then throws her visor at the manager as she leave, refusing to even glance at me and my friend shakily adding napkins to my somehow still growing Shamrock lake. Crazily, like 3 years later I ended up getting a job at that same McDonald's, so I guess it came full circle.

AnonymousDM

It’s not a beverage but hopefully it counts. Years ago on a college trip to meet with the Taiwanese representative to the US, I was sat across from him on a long boardroom table. The staff brought out tea and cream puffs for us, which was kind. Here’s the thing — i’m from the Dominican Republic and never had so much as heard of a cream puff, so when i went to take one i thought i was going to grip some sort of bread pastry, not a thin crust filled with cream. It immediately exploded in my hand and started spilling down my wrist and arm. The ambassador clearly didn’t wanna make a fuss, kept talking. I make panicked looks around to my professor and others; there’s no napkins. In the panic of the moment i didn’t want to get it on the big oak table, so I tried rubbing it between my hands, but it just never seemed to dry. Eventually i thought i was safe and pried my hands apart and a gloop of it peeled off and flew into my hair. I went to get it off and got more in my hair. During all this Three Stooges bullshit the ambassador never. stopped. talking. and often made direct — but insanely relaxed — eye contact. Sorry it was long, praise be to Dice Christ.

Collin Szeles

I have one that is on camera. I was about 5 and my mom was filming me for some home videos and I had an almost full gallon of milk I was trying to pour into a cup. My mom said "Don't spill it" after which the milk immediately slipped out of my hand and spilled all over the counter. I then turn to the camera with the horrified look of a child in fear of his mortal soul. I don't remember the actual incident, but the video footage is one of the funniest things I have ever seen.

H.J.

You have a VERY smooth dad.

Gyrfalcon

It was my first day of high school, at a much larger school than I had ever been to, and my first time in that school system. I went to what I thought was my third period class. After a few minutes, it became obvious to me that I had gone to the room for my fourth period class, so I stood up to excuse myself and find the right room. As I lifted my backpack, my water bottle fell out, hitting the floor and popping open, spilling onto the carpet. I fled the scene of my shame, only to discover upon my return to the room for fourth period that the seating chart placed me just seats away from the conspicuous wet patch of carpet. No one knew it had been my fault. But I knew.

Ronald Templeton

When I worked at a vegan cafe, a very angry customer spilled a container of Ceasar dressing on me when he angrily slammed his take-out salad on the counter. He was mad his salad didn't have enough grilled chicken, saying quote "You guys are fucking stealing my chicken" as his only defense. I was terrified & soggy, and had to send out the food runner to deal with the wreck of man while I cleaned up. I've not had a Ceasar salad since.

Gill

I once made a near miraculous save of a glass cup very full of water without a drop spilled--like balancing a spinning plate on a stick save--only to over zealously take a first sip and spilled it down the sides of my face all down my shirt.

Garett symes

The night I got together with my girlfriend, we were out for drinks with some of her coworkers playing a drinking game. At one point, the game stated that we had to switch drinks with the person to our left. I swapped my beer for a rum and coke and on my next turn, had to chug the rest of my drink. Thinking I was still drinking an ice-less beer, I went to toss it back and proceeded to absolutely CHOKE on the ice and coughed up my entire drink all over the table, followed by a solid 5 minutes straight coughing fit, during which no one spoke a word. This was my first night meeting these people. Thank god my girlfriend was as drunk as me.

Luke M. Thomas

I, like Caldwell, am a spill prone man. I once, at a work Christmas party, spilled my entire glass of beer into bosses lap while attempting to put on a Santa hat (my elbow knocked the drink). This happened the day after I was given a major raise. I also was in the wedding party for my two best friend’s wedding. They told me I was not allowed to go near the bride while she was in her dress, and I obliged, only to spill wine down the groom’s back while attempting to give him a brotherly hug before the ceremony began. I tried to make the case that it wasn’t a big deal because the suit was red and the wine was red, but he still doesn’t let me live it down. No one noticed though! Or they were kind enough to not mention it. He got me back by pouring wine on my head (think Joffrey and Tyrion at the purple wedding) that night after the ceremony ended. I’ve also managed to destroy (and replace) a total of around $5-600 worth of other people electronics (much more than that of my own) with water, but you said to keep it brief.

Timothy Lai

This was back in high school, we were going to go see an opera and I was excited to go because it felt so “adult” and I was 14 at the time. They had little fancy snacks, but what drew my attention the most was the coke bottles. Coke can come in a glass?! This teen was absolutely amazed. We sit down in the theatre and I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to have my fancy coke bottle with me, so I put it under my seat. The seats are in kind of a U shape formation, where the seats in the centre of the row are lower than the rest, and I was sitting on the edge of the row. We were watching Faust and there’s this super dramatic part where a baby gets stabbed, and I kicked my feet back in horror, knocking over my glass bottle, which then excruciatingly slowly rolled into the centre of the row. It must have taken at least 30 seconds. Keeping in mind, the entire theatre was silent because a baby just got stabbed, and all you can hear is the clinking of a glass coke bottle slowly rolling under everyone’s seat. Everyone was looking left and right to see whodunnit and I was just sitting on my hands desperately trying to not look guilty, but in the process looking even guiltier. I’m certain that every single person in attendance must’ve heard it, maybe even the actors, because that silence definitely felt longer than it should have been.

paige

At the end of a d&d session, I was trying to move my stuff out of my office room and start some afternoon house cleaning. In an attempt to be super efficient, I convinced myself that I could carry my laptop, 2 notebooks, a knife (covered and safe), water bottle, and bowl of strawberries without issue. I approached the doorway, noticed a big box fan blocking my way, and thought it'd be a good idea to step over it rather than moving it. I proceeded to catch my foot in the fan and tumble into the hallway, dropping everything (but my laptop thankfully), and quite literally bouncing off the ground like I'd hopped on a trampoline. Not only did I have a mess of strawberries strewn across the hallway to clean up, but I broke my toe & had to keep it wrapped for a month and a half while it healed. Whoops 🤷‍♀️

Jesse Pirttimaa

I was a trainee in a large LIVE prime time TV-show in Finland. I was supposed to carry a plate with ginger shots to a set in the middle of the show. I accidentally bumped into one of the hosts and spilled the ginger shots on myself one minute beforenI had to go on stage and set it up. I panicked and ran to our food prep and just made everything that tasted not so great into a shot and ran back to the studio.

Katy Howells

I famously drop glass bottles. In college I had just turned 21 and was so proud of the 9$ huge bottle of vodka I’d bought legally. While attempting to climb up the stairs to my friend’s apartment, I slipped and the bag fell to the sound of breaking glass and sloshing vodka. I’ll never get the smell out of my nose.

Josh

I've always enjoyed a large cool glass of milk much to the chagrin of my friends and spouse. One particular evening I grabbed a glass while a few friends were drinking other beverages and as they were giving me a hard time I slipped and spilled the entire thing on my keyboard. In a desperate attempt to save the keyboard I grabbed it and began waving it around trying to get the milk out. Needless to say I covered everything around me in milk and my friends razz me constantly to this day about it. Despite their mockery, the keyboard still works and it has been dubbed the cheeseboard.

H.J.

Did you get 4 more pints for free? Depending on the beer I might have openly wept

Noah Jay

Is this all just an attempt to help Caldwell "Spillboy" Tanner find his kinfolk?

Andi M. Kraxberger

My girlfriend and I live in the tiniest apartment together, and simply don't have space for a proper dinner table. As a result, we mostly eat in our bedroom/living room area. We were having dinner on our newly bought mattress, and as I was sipping delicious coke from the Rick and Morty themed glass that she had gotten me for my birthday, said glass slipped out of my hand, spilled everything onto the brand new mattress and, adding insult to injury, in an attempt to mitigate the spillage by grabbing a hold of the glass, I caused it to roll off the bed where it shattered on the floor. Suffice it to say, the rest of the evening was spent blow-drying the mattress and apologizing for breaking her gift to me. However, for Christmas, she did get me another Rick and Morty glass. I have yet to break this one.

Jude Rollin

Not so much a beverage but still a liquid. I used to work at a dessert cafe, everyday we would need to make about 15 litres of chocolate ganache and would store them in 5 litre containers. After we had just made a fresh batch I thought it would be a good idea to move the containers out of the way in order to clean the bench, resulting in one of said containers slipping out of my hands throwing liquid chocolate all over the floor and myself. The mess ended up being so great that I had to go and buy new jeans as I still had about 6 hours left on my shift. Although I no longer work there apparently this spill is still talked about to this day

Lawnmower Blenny

Here’s the sad tale of the ‘Get Lucky’ margarita: I had just started my job as a server and I was terrible at carrying trays. The bar did rotating holiday-themed specials, and for St. Patrick’s day, the drink was a hideously green margarita called the Get Lucky” (no relation to Daft Punk). A customer ordered it on the last day of March and I, being an enthusiastic new server who had not yet had their soul crushed, made a big deal out of the fact that this was the LAST Get Lucky margarita available due to the bar running out of the required ingredients (leprechaun piss?). I ever-so-carefully brought the top-heavy margarita glass over to the table with six expectant customers eagerly watching this neon green beacon of hope. As I tried to set it down, it slid off the tray in slow motion and crashed into the dead center of the table, managing to splash every single person. It was one of those moments where the entire restaurant went dead silent, so my nervous laughter and feverishly muttered apologies were audible for all to hear. That poor customer never got lucky.

Aileen Hay

Several years ago, after travelling all day I decided to reward myself by buying an expensive bottle of wine from the taxfree at the airport. I had never bought a bottle this expensive before, so I was quite excited to try it out. I carefully carried it with me on the train and the bus home and I finally got to my building around midnight. Unfortunately, while shuffling my bags around to get my key, I, of course, managed to drop the bottle. It hit my foot, shattering to a million pieces, spilling wine everywhere. I then had to clean it all up at midnight, in freezing cold weather, with a hurt foot, all the while the spilled wine was smelling absolutely amazing.

Alexis C

When I was very young and the second Spider-Man movie came out in theaters, my dad took me and some friends to go see it. Imagine a very excited group of young girls pumped to see Spider-Man. We. Obviously sit in the very back, because it’s the most exciting spot. For someone reason they were doing a promotion where they were selling stuff Spider-Man merch inside the actual theater before the film started. I, with my very recent tooth-fairy money, had to buy something. I don’t even remember what it was, but I went bounding down the stairs to purchase an overpriced novelty item from an underpaid theater worker and promptly smacked face first into an elderly man walking up the same stairs. In horror I watched his large drink explode onto the ground and Reese’s pieces fly everywhere. I apologized while crying and a worker replaced his stuff, but I did NOT end up buying tacky Spider-Man merch but the sound of Reese’s pieces rolling across the ground in a silent theater haunts me to this day.

Alex Cooper

Rush hour on the downtown F train. It was PACKED! A pregnant woman gets on and stands right next to me. No one was willing to give up their seat. I felt shame that I wasn’t sitting myself so that I may be the good samaritan to offer the soon to be mom a reprieve from her overworked gams. At that moment, the train gives one of those hard breaks and the woman drops a grocery bag. Perfect! My chance to do a kind act. Note: I had just smoked a marijuana cigarette so my faculties weren’t at %100. I immediately crouch down to help retrieve her fallen items but I had neglected to put the top of my water bottle back on. Now with one hand attempting to loop a particular tricky grocery bag handle and the other slowly squeezing the water out of my crinkling $1 Poland spring bottle and a half packed train staring at my desperate attempt at chivalry, panic began to settle in. It has now taken a full train stop to help this fully capable woman with her grocery bag. Whether it was pity or contempt, she exclaimed “I’ll get it” in a tone that punched me deep in my pride sack. I had failed her. I had failed myself. Still kneeling on the ground, the train gave one more short stop and I had no chance of bracing myself in the physical and emotional state I was in. I crashed into the person next to me and crushed the water bottle in my hand dousing the pregnant woman’s feet… I don’t remember much after that other that the cackles from the fellow passengers. Along with the contents of my water bottle, I left a part of myself on that F train.

TJ Michael

Life had prepared me for many things, but accidentally spilling yogurt in a drawer wasn't one of them. I now know what it sounds like when trying to wash yogurt off of coins. That white shit got all over my bedside drawer. Passport? Yougurt'd. Backup credit card? Yogurt. Ticket stubs from a date? Yogurt. Receipts waiting to be comp'd? Yougurt. Condoms? Yogurt. It's the corners that get you, trying to work the curdeled moo juice out of every nook and cranney. Yet no matter how well I cleaned, nothing I did could stop my bedside table from smelling like a 7/11 for the next 4 months.

Toby Bird

My spill story still haunts me... my brother and dad bring it up all the time. We are massive cricket fans (the sport not the bug) and when you go to see a test match they're whole day affairs. When we go, we take 2 or 3 big picnic bags and gorge ourselves on food in the summer sun, watching our favourite sport, and drinking. So my brother had gone to buy drinks, queued for ages (as this is at a stadium) and came back with 4 pints. The drinks were held in a cardboard handle thing that suspends the cup below it so you can easily carry multiple drinks. He passed them over to me as he was sitting down and I tried to gently place them down on the floor. This was to my error as the drinks immediately fell over and 4 pints of beer started to run down the tiered seating (we were near the top) and soaked everyone's stuff in front of us.... we could hear people complaining multiple rows down. (For context the stand was concrete with then plastic seats on so it was basically a free flowing river) My brother then did not talk to me for the rest of the day (the spill happened around midday and we were there until around 6:30pm). Now every time we go to the cricket, some sporting event, or even the pub it gets brought up.

Dylan Mogavero

Hey sweeties! I think I have a good one. I was a Server at a popular Italian restaurant as a young adult man. One night I got a 6 top of young women celebrating a birthday. After dropping off our classic bread, oil, and herb mix. I then took their drink orders. 6 diet cokes for all of them. As I'm passing out the drinks I get to the birthday girl. Apparently the drink tray that had the bread, oil and herbs on it had a thin film of oil spread across the surface. I must have made a wrong move because before I knew it diet coke was pouring down the birthday girls back. I rushed into the back to grab some towels and luckily they had an extra shirt for her. She got her food comped and they left me a note saying "Sorry that happened to you". They were good sports, I was embarrassed. -Dylan M

Erik Andersson

Bartended at a restaurant this summer which had a new outdoor bar for the summer. As happens with outdoor bars we had a small problem with ants, which I didn't improve. My second day at the job I dropped a liter bottle of simple syrup which shattered on the ground and in the rush I didn't have time to clean thoroughly enough. So the rest of the summer we had constant trails of ants going under the fridge, and in July wasps found out as well and moved in somewhere close...

Alex Attwell

Nothing like getting a fresh Iced Capp from Tim Hortons, immediately spilling it all over your car and then crying while your older brother doesn't know what else to do but laugh.

Magdalen the Mad

I was a barista for one of those big coffee companies for years. So I was living in Lake Tahoe and, as it was a super busy summer, I was always trying to find ways to keep it fun and efficient. So I eventually got good at sliding medium iced drinks on the hand off counter from my hand to the edge by the customers. Keep in mind, I'm only 5 feet tall, so this is a good 2-3 foot slide. Anyhoo, the inevitable happened. I went to slide a particular sweet iced green tea and the counter was already sticky, so it caught and tumbled off onto the floor, sending a sticky disaster out over the impatient people who just happened to be hovering in the splash zone. Let's just say I've never mopped with a glaring audience before or since. PS: I had a tendency to refer to all the tourists as terrorists (pronounce terrrists) because of the craziness they'd bring to town and the mess they'd leave behind, just thought you'd get a kick out of it.

Noah the Sunday Scooper Subscriber #ALLHAILCRANGAR

Not my spill but there to witness it. I'm the head chef at a restaurant, one time I had made a batch of our housemade queso. I put it in the walk-in fridge to cool with the lid cracked to vent. A little while later I'm walking out to the fridge with the woman working the salad side. She needed something on the top shelf so... before I could stop she went to step on the queso bucket. Needless to say her foot went right into the bucket! This of course threw off guard and she fell back knocking the 10 gallon bucket over. I caught her but there was no saving queso... or her shoe!!! 🤣🤣🤣

Austin Rousseau

So, it's not a beverage, but still a major spill. I worked in fast food and my trainer was teaching me how to change the ketchup. I thought it was gonna be a tub or something, but it was a bag!! A 10 pound bag of ketchup!!! I didn't quite understand what he was trying to tell me to do and the bag slipped out of my hand. It was as if the bag fell in slow motion as it hit the ground and ketchup squirted out of the bag, everywhere. The counter, the wall and all over the floor. It sucked to clean up, and the counter smelled like ketchup for a week!!

Aaron Manewith

We have a water cooler hooked up at work that has a waterline running directly to it. There was an issue in the water filter of the machine and It needed to be changed. I went to go take the filter out and replace it and a jet of water started shooting out of the filter area and I couldn’t turn it off the kitchenette at my office was flooded and It took me and another coworker another five minutes to shut it off and I how do use five rolls of paper towels to dry everything off

Liolie

First day at a popular Seattle-based coffee chain. I was carrying a full (4 and a half gallons) container of chocolate sauce up to the front and tripped on a rug. I dropped the container so it landed perfectly on the bottom, causing the chocolate to fly up and coat every nearby surface, coworker, two customers and the ceiling in sticky syrup. I spent the next four hours cleaning the store, and proceeded to work there for another six years.

CW

I had stopped at a coffee shop with my wife for a pastry and slug of coffee one beautiful summer day. we sat outside the cafe in their little dining area and much to my amusement, there were a handful of small birds there cleaning up crumbs and I had befriended one by picking off bits of my muffin for them. When we got up to leave, I stood up and tried to fling the last crumbs off my ceramic plate into the parking lot for them but ended up throwing my plate, frisbee-style, at the birds. the plate broke, bringing everyone's attention to me, just as I caught my foot on the leg of the table we were at and toppled it over, nearly falling backwards over my chair. Absolutely hilarious in hindsight

Angeli

During my very first time flying solo, I had a transfer at the Charlotte, NC airport. I was feeling very adult and decided to treat myself to some airport Bojangles. My mistake came from my hubris of thinking I could balance my tray in one hand while wheeling my luggage in the other. In a spectacular display of incoordination, I somehow manage to spill my soda all over the floor, my suitcase, and myself. Good news- my bojangles was safe thanks to the ingenuity of the bojangles box. Bad new- I couldn’t find any napkins to clean up my spill and the only table available was right next to the scene of my crime. So I just had to eat my food while avoiding eye contact with the custodian cleaning up my mess within arms length of me. Also- it the saltiest fries and driest biscuit ever but I was too anxious to get another drink.

Rodolfo Marroquin

Short and simple. I was playing videogames while sick and was about to win a game of Apex. It got down to the last fight and I accidentally spilled the thermos of tea at a weird angle so that it was slowly spilling on my lap. I made a call out to my team that I was spilling tea on myself and let it keep pouring in order for us to win. Slightly burned my legs but a win is a win.

Corey

Let me tell you about the Sweet Sea. I was working at McDonald's in my teens, and after i turned 18 i was allowed to work overnights. On my first ever overnight sift, working 10pm - 6am, i was on dish duty. I started the night with plucky optismism, but as the shift came closer to the end, i was growing more and more tired. At one point, my manager reminded me that we also have to empty and clean the tea cannisters in the lobby and drive thru areas. I went out and loaded them all precariously onto one cart, and began to wheel them back to the dish area. Then all of a sudden i hit a snag in the tile floor and my all-nighter reflexes were seriously lacking as i sluggishly attempted to catch the front cannister and prevent the spill, but alas: all 5 of these 4-gallon cannisters, each one at least half full, hit the ground with a loud metal-to-tile clang as sweet tea drenched the entire front lobby by the counter. this was almost 5am, and it was about 10 minutes before the lobby was supposed to open. I was embarrassed as hell. But i did redeem myself over time and eventually became the go-to person to cover overnight shifts for most of my time there, and eventually became the night Manager while in college. So I try to consider this my redemption arc.

Andrew E

Last winter I spent way too long creating the perfect Mexican hot chocolate with a bit of booze in it. I brought it to the living room and set it on the coffee table. Then, as I reached for a blanket, I punched (yes I mean punched) the mug half way across the room, forever staining the carpet. Hopefully that doesn’t come out of my security deposit… Also wasted a lot of Baileys.

Aleks Lynne

This was more of an explosive spill (a spill-splosion if you will) I was making jam (shouts to Nyack) on the stove and had a pan of boiling water going to sanitize the jam jars. Behind the range my mom had some fancy olive oils bottles lined up and i don't know what exactly happened, either the heat or the pan touching the bottles, but one just exploded! I was totally fine thankfully, but olive oil spilled out covering the entire range, and counter AND seeped down into the cabinets below and even out onto the kitchen floor as well as the glass shards. just oily slippery glass mess everywhere AND worst of all ruining my jam 😔 I was not a Jampion that day....it took literal DAYS to clean up all the damage, I even had oil and glass IN MY HAIR, like just everywhere. It was so upsetting I haven't made jam since.

simplythoughtless

I need to absolve myself of my soaked sins. Hi gang, I am also part of Caldwells Spill Squad. When I was a teen I worked at a popular Ice Cream place. It was the middle of the summer and the place was packed. There was a line out the door and I was running around trying to get these orders out. Our soft serve machine was low and I went to get the 5 gallon bag of mix from the fridge. I was in a hurry and I didnt notice that someone had mopped up a spill near the machine. I slipped. The whole bag fell and exploded on me, and all over the floor. I was covered in the french vanilla. I struggled getting up, slipping all over the place, everyone in the store was laughing. I rushed into the back to get the mop to start cleaning it up. Filled the bucket with warm water and added a bit of bleach to help. It didn't. I slipped on the cursed French Vanilla again and the whole bucket of bleach water spilled on me and in the other massive puddle I made. I now know not to run with 5 gallons of anything.

rae

It happened at my first job at the movie theaters. During a huge rush, I went to fill a movie theater large Diet Pepsi for a customer, while coming back to the counter, the side of the plastic cup hit the edge of the counter and spilled all over my polo uniform, and since it was during a rush, I had to put cardboard down to soak the Pepsi and move on to the next customer.

Jake L

There I was, a new uncle mid-pandemic. I hadn’t been able to visit my freshly minted niece yet due to health concerns. About 6 months in to her newborn life things had adjusted far enough that regular visits were now on the table. On my drive to go see the family, I stopped and thought, “a milk shake sounds perfect right now.” The fates had spun a differing thread…. I walk into my sisters home, milkshake in hand, excited to see my first niece during these trying times. As I approach my sister holding my niece, their dog jumps on me in excitement. I stumble and roll a 2 on my dex saving throw, spilling my milkshake all over my 6 month old niece, coating her thoroughly in a double chocolate drizzle.

Kevin Mcconnaughey

I should also mention that no one ever told the boss it was me and I kept working there for another year and a half or so, making a whole lot more mistakes

Kenny Cashman

When I was in Disney World back in 2013, I was trying the sodas from around the world at Club Cool. I loved the Mexican apple-flavored soda so much that I decided to fill my water bottle with it. I put it in my bag and forgot about it while we continued to walk around. Later, I reached into my bag and felt something wet, so I took out my water bottle to investigate. I flipped open the top, facing it away from me so nothing would splash on my face. Time seemed to move in slow motion as I watched a perfect arc of soda stretch out before me and hit my friend’s mom directly in the back of the head. I froze in shock and let the soda continue to flow until the stream had stopped. Eight and a half years later, I still apologize every time I see my friend’s mom. I’m sorry, Donna.

Cypher

In my first apartment we all split groceries and it didn't take long before I wasn't allowed to help carrying them inside. Soon after moving in I was going up our three fights of stairs with hands full, including a gallon jug of milk. I may or may not have dropped the jug down an entire flight of stairs, spraying milk everywhere. It smelled awful for months and I was never allowed to carry a liquid without supervision again.

Canadian Schubert the Mushroom 🍄

I wanted pasta. I brought my laptop to the kitchen to listen to this podcast while I cooked. I opened the cupboard. An entire jar of tomato sauce toppled from the cupboard directly onto my laptop and shattered, splattering me saucy. That is all.

Kevin Wixom

One month before we got married, I spilled egg drop soup on my wife's laptop, destroying it along with our wedding program (that she'd made), pictures, her school work and contacts for wedding vendors. We were lucky to find a good repair guy who saved most of it after extracting the hard drive, but there was a week I was persona-non-grata in my own home. I should add we just had our 10 year anniversary and bought a backup external hard drive! Edit: oh, and one other one I had to help clean up but technically wasn't me. I work for a food flavoring company and our warehouse guy drove a forklift through two 55 gallon drums of concentrated Vanilla Extract. Something like $4500 gone in under a minute.

Kyle Cuitti

Was bringing a spare can of Dr Pepper in through the front door. I bumped the door frame on the way in. The can got punctured and flew out of my hand and started spraying its juice all over the walls and carpet of the living room. A few days later, I was still finding remnants of the mess in the next room over.

Grant Kenny

My first job out of college was a glorified call center that worked with the government. We basically resold software to the government for Billions of dollars. The company paid shit but had a post college mentality around the office as the average age of employees was 25. Anyway instead of paying a good salary, we got showered with amex gift cards, company trips, and inscribed liquor bottles at the end of the year. My last year there I got a full handle of Tanqueray Gin with my name on it. I was so excited to drink it because this was probably the classiest liquor I had at the age of 23. My buddy and I carpooled back then so on the drive home (aka my parents house) from work, we're thinking of how sick a pregame/party will be with these bottles (real hot boy summer shit). As he drops me off, I put the bottle in my elbow crease since I was holding a couple things and the handle slips out and smashes all over my parents driveway. I was DEVASTATED and it was only made worse as my parents opened the door with the dogs rushing at the same time. I quickly had to shuffle them away so they wouldn't step on glass but still got to taste more of the "fancy" gin than I did. Cheers to rolling a Nat 1 on my reflex save!

Annie the Feywild therapist

Not sure if this counts, but freshman year of college I was sitting in the dining hall with some people I thought were VERY cool. One made a joke right after I had taken a huge sip of water and I did a spit take ALL OVER THE TABLE. One of them never spoke to me again.

Paul and Megan the Twins

Hey twin, love that you sent one too! Especially, this one; it was tragic broseph, tragic. Spring break with Grandma and Grandpa the golden years! Fuck you! Love you! Eat a Rat! 💜🍽🐀

Nicole

I was DMing Mines of Phandelver for a group of friends. While trying to sneak into the bugbear cave, one of my players rolled a Nat 1 on his stealth check. He decided to role play the fail by screaming, “FUCK, THAT’S COLD!!!” I did a full spit take of hard cider into his face.

Frank

I once spilled an entire pot of soup, fully cooked and about to serve, onto my stove. It was just as bad as you can imagine.

Ayn Like Ryan

WTF how rude of that customer, honestly

Rory

Not a beverage BUT the most devastating spill story of my life (to date). I was working as a supervisor at Starbucks. Every night I would count the tills full of cash and prepare the bank deposit for the day. We had 6 tills at my store, so I would generally count 4 of them about an hour or so before we closed for the day to save time. The process involved me taking the cash drawers out of the individual tills and bringing them to the back room to count. You can probably see where this is going. So on this particular night, there I am, green apron on, with four cash drawers piled in my arms. As I go to push open the door to the back room, I trip on the floor mat and drop the entire contents of my arms. Each till had between $200-400 in cash, and I’m in Canada so coins abound. All four tills flipped over, sending loose change and rolled coins flying across the store. Luckily nothing went out into the customer area, but unluckily it was all around the bar area where drinks are prepared. For several minutes I was crawling on my hands and knees hunting for toonies wedges under fridges and quarters in my baristas’ shoes. Not my finest moment, but a spectacular mess.

Amanda E.

Senior year in college, my best friend/roommate ALWAYS tried to carry her groceries up in one trip. We were coming back to our apartment with just so many groceries, and she ended up reaching the door first. I offered to hold the milk jug, but she was determined and managed to balance the jug between the door and her leg. She got the door unlocked and in that same moment, unbalanced the jug and it dropped to the floor. It SPLIT open on the bottom and before we even had a chance to pick it up, it emptied out and was all over the carpeted hallway. The hallway had to be steamed cleaned to get rid of the smell.

Zack McCarville

Literally yesterday I was eating a Steak Bomb pizza (topped with cheese, onions, peppers, and ground beef). I went to fold it in half to eat, fumbled and dropped it, CAUGHT IT IN MY OTHER HAND, and in my vain celebration, dropped it toppings down, on the dirt-covered pavement. It was the last piece......

Cameron M

This may be on the fringe of spill territory. We were doing a picnic party in the park for my wife's birthday. Had some snacks and drinks and I bought a couple party sized pizzas. I was holding the pizza box open and a gust of wind took the pizza box out of my hand and spilling half a cheese party pizza all over the ground.

J

In college, I was at an event in the main student center with two of my friends. We were getting Moe's (a Chipotle analog), and loading up our plates with the thickest burritos and cheesiest nachos imaginable. Across the room, I saw a person coming towards us who I had no desire to talk to. So, like the craven coward I am, I handed one of my friends my plate and sprinted upstairs to the conference room we had booked. My other friend joined me shortly, as we got back to work. One minute passed, two minutes passed, with no sign of the friend I left behind. Finally, he arrived at our room, but something was wrong. In his hand, were two empty plates, and in his eyes, a look of great shame. He looked at both of us, and just said: “Guys, I fucked up”. We followed him outside, and got to the elevator. He pushed the button to call it, and as the door opened we saw a horrid sight. All over the floor of this elevator lay water, rice, beans, corn, queso, tortillas, lettuce and many other fixins. The elevator had closed on his arm as he was walking in, and the result was a spill in one of three elevators in the busiest building on campus. Thankfully, we were able to clean everything up by having one of us constantly call the elevator, while the other two of us ran in and out with a boatload of paper towels. As days and months passed, every time I got into that elevator, I would see a small tortilla chip crumb, or a single bean, and smile to myself.

Charloot

I recently made a cup of coffee, went to have a sip and spilled a little. I cleaned it up, went to drink it again and realised it was cold. I walked to the kitchen to heat it up and as I put it in the microwave, it hit the counter and fell on the floor, spilling the entire cup of coffee over the entire kitchen, which I had just spent the day cleaning for a rental inspection. I had to mop the floor and wash my clothes, because it went EVERYWHERE. A friend of mine came over after this and I told them the story. They encouraged me to make a fresh coffee and try again. I made the coffee, and as I went to take a sip, I spilled it on myself. My friend had looked away for 5 seconds, and turned back to see me covered in coffee and starting to hysterically cry at the insanity of this happening three times in one day.

Asa Coleman

I had just been promoted to bartender at the tiny patio bar in my hometown in a tiny hamlet in northern Ontario. As I was going to close for the night at the end of my shift, I slipped on a teeny tiny stirring straw that had made its way into our cold storage and lost my balance. I reached out for the nearest thing in front of me and grabbed… Our entire industrial fish-tank-sized container of white wine sangria. In an instant it was on the ground and exploded like a vaguely piss coloured version of the flood from the elevators of the Shining. I spent the next two hours meticulously cleaning up after my shift, unpaid. My boss came from his house because he saw me on the camera system slipping around in the empty bar. He just sat and watched me while drinking some of the other sangria we had set aside. Truly excruciating experience.

Abby

Not really a traditional spill story, more of a tumble. I am usually a very observant person, but when I am rushing... all bets are off. I used to be a nanny when I was in college, just a fun job over the summer. I would take the kid I nannied to lessons or to the park to go swimming. We did a lot of different a fun stuff. I usually drove the family's car to all of these events. One day, we were running late for tennis lessons, so I ran out to the car of the day. It was a huge truck. Like I had to launch myself to get into the car (I am 6ft tall). Anyway, because I was so distracted that day what I had failed to notice was that one of the families other cars was parked right behind the truck... needless to say, the truck went right into this tiny four door sedan. I was mortified. Luckily, I was not fired, but I was asked to drive my own car for a while. On the positive side, we were not late to the tennis lessons at the end. Thank you all for sharing all your adventures with us each week. It is one of my favorite parts of the week. <3

LowlyWorm

So I’ve always been a water bottle person (you know the type). My principal knew me as the water bottle kid. She had already yelled at me a few times for spilling water on desks. one day I was walking down our big flight of stairs and she was all the way down the stairs walking up. I was walking floppily and my hand lost grip of my water bottle, which bounced cartoonishly all the way down the stairs and spilled all over her shoes. I was banned from having water bottles for the rest of school.

Kenzie

When I was a freshman at my local community college I bought a dress from a thrift store. I was hanging out in the student center when a friend was excited to see me. They ran up to give me a hug but tripped forward pushing me. When they grabbed ahold of me they actually grabbed my dress and continued to fall. My dress ripped open and I spilled out of it in my underwear. I ran to the bathroom and hid in a stall while my friend found a sewing kit (she was super into cosplay so she had stuff in her car). I ended up missing my math class but my professor was told the story and believed. Me so I got an excused absence

Matthew Rossi

Not a beverage per se, but my first day of first grade I got Pizza Sticks at the cafeteria for lunch. Unbeknownst to me, someone had spilled a small amount of pizza sauce on the cafeteria floor earlier, where it remained, waiting to socially assassinate me. When I walked back, holding my tray of pizza sticks, complete with a cup of sauce for dipping, I slipped upon the sauce, flinging my tray of Pizza Sticks into the air, where it landed on top of me. I was left coated in sauce and cheese, and my fellow students gasped and laughed. I had to be taken to the nurses office and my mom took me home for the day because I smelled so bad. I never ate pizza sticks again.

Keirsty Holland

Not a beverage spill, but I was in third grade at lunch when I was trying to open a mustard packet for my hot dog. As I tried to open it, it sprayed everywhere, including the back of a teacher's sweater vest. I was mortified and didn't say anything to the teacher (neither did any of my friends). I'm 30 and still haven't told the teacher this and it still haunts me to this day.

Ellinor Johnston

In a biology lecture at university, a mate had brought along a full plate of bacon and eggs for breakfast as well as a chocolate milk. As the professor started walking up the aisle we scrambled to cover up the forbidden bacon and eggs and I ended up toppling the half a litre of chocolate milk down the neck and back of the poor girl in a white dress in front of me. After mopping up a very upset classmate, we hastily exited that lecture never to return. All of our rest of the semester was learnt online and from a textbook…

Adam da Silva

Kid i worked with at a movie theatre was grabbing two LARGE colas (no brand names) while a debit transaction went through at his till. The sale cleared, which popped open his cash, the corner clipped him in the testicles causing him to double over in pain and dump both sticky sodas over his head.

Jochebed Cho

I once took my baby sister to Starbucks and ordered her a Strawberry Acai Refresher. She was bouncing on her feet in excitement even after receiving the drink. She turned around too fast as we were headed out the door and proceeded to drop the grande sized cup on the floor. She started crying and the worker there was nice enough to make another one as I tried to hold in my laughter while consoling her.

Molly Flores

Went to a fancy winery to meet my partner’s extended family (parents, cousins, etc) for the very first time. The sommelier brings out the flights of wine, and reaches over to set my partner’s flight in front of him. He reaches to help the sommelier, and suddenly the whole flight (like 8 sipping pours of wine) is tipping over onto our laps. He was covered in red wine all over his nice button up shirt and my dress was drenched in whites in front of his whole family 😅. Luckily, they laughed it off and the winery people are experts at wine stains and brought out this magic spray that had our clothes looking like new in no time… but that moment of sheer panic looking around at my partner’s family waiting for a reaction will live rent free in my brain forever.

Joseph Bricker

When I was 14, I worked at one of those self-serve frozen yogurt places that were all the rage. I was alone in the store and needed to refill the toppings. Of course, the only logical way to do this was to try pouring directly from the enormous storage containers into the tiny tin cans that sat out front. Needless to say, my frail, 14-year-old arms spilled a four-gallon bucket of sprinkles onto the floor. I called my manager and confessed my whoopsie. Luckily, he was pretty cool about it.

Sarah Miller

I was sick on my 17th birthday. I was a Junior in high school. I still went to school because I had a History test and I promised to bring cupcakes. I made so many cupcakes. Literally dozens. As soon as I walked into the building... the plastic cupcake container broke as I was walking and vanilla cupcakes with pink frosting spilled all over the hallway. It was unreal. Like a clown car of cupcakes. I had to pick them off the floor and directly into the garbage can. Over the rest of the day - until I made it to History - people kept stopping me to ask where the cupcakes were. It was so sad. I finished my scantron History test early and then went to the nurse. I had a gnarly fever. My mom and her best friend picked me up from school. On the drive home, they gave me a clear plastic bag so that they could "see what [I] threw up." I was delirious and half-crying and told them about the cupcakes. I threw up pink goo and they were worried for a second that I had eaten one of the floor cupcakes, but I tried to reassure them that I just wasn't able to keep down the Tums that the nurse gave me. This was not reassuring to them.

Vicky M

Not a beverage, but I was once in a cinema, and just as the film started, I heard a skittering, crinkling noise from the back row, heard somebody whisper, "oh god," and then what must have been an entire bag of spilled M&Ms began to roll down the floor towards the front row. That poor person had to endure The Da Vinci Code without any snacks.

Laura Born

I was staying at the Bellagio casino and resort in Vegas. At 10 p.m. I grabbed a turkey club sandwich from a restaurant in the bellagio. The packaging was not phenomenal, but no big deal, my hotel room wasn’t far. I had made my way across the casino floor towards the guest elevators. Right outside the elevators in the casino, half of the club sandwich fell out. For a brief second I was mad that I lost so much of of the meal. But that concern was quickly replaced when a man in a VERY nice suit rounded the corner, stepped on the sandwich, fell to the floor, dropped his casino chips and got mayo and bacon on his suit. Security came over to make sure he was okay and make sure no one stole his casino chips, as if this was some sort of elaborate scheme. After he got his footing and said he was fine, I scrambled to pick up the sandwich off the floor, threw it in the trash and ran up to my room. I was mortified.

Laura Born

Also, this was last week.

Jonathan Berger

Challenge Accepted, in limerick form! On a hot summer's eve, I drove to Dairy Queen, To get my family blizzards, in a car so so clean. I sped around a corner, And thereafter to my horror, The car permanently smelled of ice cream. Another, in haiku form My mom bought red wine A good son, I help unpack Fumble, blood red floor. Hope you enjoyed!

Ted Orbach

One time I went to a chicken restaurant with my partner, and we got tenders with ranch. I was in the driver's seat, excited to dig in. We were parked, but I made the mistake of balancing the ranch on one of my thighs. Next thing I knew, the ranch was spilled all over the crotch of my gym shorts. I was so pissed, and the problem with ranch is that it secretes a smell that can only be removed by a hearty wash and dry cycle. We had somewhere else to go that day, and I knew that I couldn't be seen in public with a pungent ranchy crotch. So we dabbed up the ranch that hadn't soaked in yet, and I sprinted into a Marshall's. I grabbed the first pair of pants/shorts that were my size, and literally changed into the new ones in my car. I then threw the ranch shorts into the back of my messy car. Me being a forgetful moron, I ended up forgetting the ranch shorts were there for like 2 weeks, until I smelled that fated ranch smell. One pinched nose later, I threw them in the wash and the Saga of the Ranch Crotch was complete.

Harrison Hindle

I was a waiter at a VIP event (PGA Golf tournament final hole VIP area) and I was carrying a tray of wine to a table, I trip on my own feet and drop down. For some reason I decided to try to catch the wine so I end up hugging the glasses as I fall flat in my face. Needless to say I am covered in wine and I stand up to a bunch of posh looking people just staring at me. I had to go work in the still VIP but less posh VIP area for the rest of the shift as I didn't have a spare short and I shit you not it looked like I had tried to murder the cool aid man with the level of red on my shirt.

James Fite

I was buying McDonald’s for a girl I had a crush on, she was at work so I offered to pick some up for her. As I come to her office I drop her food, fries and drink spill across the floor. As I look up we make eye contact and I slump my head in Shame as I try to pick up the mess. I gave her the little that was left and she politely said thank you but I could see in her eyes the damage was done. The was the last she spoke to me

Trent Sanders

Not a beverage, but more of a saucy story. When I worked at a pub running food from the kitchen, I was running a tray full of butter chicken up the stairs and tripped at the top step. I launched those dishes at exit velocity. Curry flew through the air and painted the bar orange. I managed to get some of it into a drink the bartender was making. I was cleaning curry off the wall for the next hour.

Joshua Kishbaugh

When I was in high school, my town had a local A&W which is known for their root beer floats. My 4 friends and myself decided to go there and have lunch and all ordered floats. While walking mine to the table I tripped and dumped it all over the floor. I asked for a rag and cleaned it up myself since I made the mess. I then picked up my food order and went to my table. While trying to set down my food tray, I knocked over the 4 other root beer floats at the table and spilt it all over my friends and the table. The ladies behind the counter had made me another float because mine had spilt and had it ready when they noticed the other mess I had created and they said they couldn’t replace the four (maybe thinking I was doing it on purpose now). So I ended up getting a replacement float while all of my friends got wet and sticky. I have never returned to that A&W.

Juni Dasgupta

When I was a freshman in colleg I was taking organic chemistry. One week we had a lab we had to using chem draw, which is a computer program (all my chemistry people will know). My lab report was due on Tuesday and I was working on it that weekend. While I was working on it on Saturday I accidentally knocked my water bottle on my computer. It stopped working. I was freaking out but didn’t really want to tell my parents (I had gone home that weekend). It was out for a full 24 hours before it came back on and I was able to finish my lab report. Side note: I have used this story in interviews before to answer how I learned from a difficult situation. Always save your important school assignments on Dropbox or the cloud everyone.

Tocayo

First off, I fully expect to get demolished for this by Murph and Emily but honestly I deserve it. So I have a wonderful cat named Ru (short for ruidosa ie noisy in Spanish) who likes to hang around my desk while I work and sleep next to it and whatnot. I also have a water bottle with a screw on top that I have a bad habit of not screwing on fully and quite often spill it oppa Caldwell style. Anyways, so a few weeks ago I was on my computer and Ru was snoozing next to my desk on the floor. I reach for the water, accidentally knock it off my desk and my poor cat not only got splashed but also bonked by the bottle. Thank goodness it was only water and not too much of it but out of all my spills this is the one regret the most. I feel like Ru will never forgive me

Travis Dreelin

Remember those Pizza Hut Book-It reward programs from like the late 80s? Well I was about 8 or 9 and had earned my free pizza and was super proud. The whole family went to get pizza and I felt like a champion for earning my keep and earning my food. Right after we ordered food, I went to get up from the booth and used the table for leverage. The table wasn't bolted to the floor so I ended up flipping an entire 4-top table full of drinks and pitchers of water and soda into the table next to us. That was over 30 years ago and it is still etched in my memory.

Autumn

Barista here, spilled a 24oz hot coffee on a customers brand new all white high top vans

Forrest Deters

The first time I went to a party in college, I didn’t have a way to get ahold of any alcohol. Thankfully, it was a small holiday kickback and I knew they hosts; I was pretty sure they’d be cool with me just bringing a couple of non-alcoholic beverages instead. The night of the party, I walked to the host’s apartment with a couple of my friends, most of whom also hadn’t been to a college party before. The hosts were upperclassmen who we were going to spend a lot of time with due to overlapping extracurricular activities, so we were excited and a little bit nervous. I rolled up to the party double-fisting full bottle of Martinelli’s sparkling cider. I rang the doorbell (with a hand that should have been focused on the bottle of Martinelli’s it was holding), then waited a minute or so but no one came to do the door. When I reached out to ring it again, two things happened at once: One of the hosts opened the door, and I dropped one of the bottles onto the concrete stoop. It shattered spectacularly, and the whole thing splashed over my shoes, my friends’ shoes, the host’s shoes, and her carpeted floor. I was mortified. And sticky. Thankfully the host was super nice and just rushed to get towels and we all had a good laugh, but I’ll never forget that awful first party experience

Don Kianian

Not really a spill per se, but one time I started my keurig out of habit after refilling the water, but I forgot to put in my mug so when I came back in the kitchen the coffee was pouring onto the counter and spilling onto the ground

Anna Green

When I was in highschool, I had gotten my wisdom teeth removed. When I got home, I passed out until dinner time. I woke up to my mom calling me downstairs from my bedroom so she could give me my food. Now, since I had just had bone removed from my body, my mother made me a nice soup so it wouldn’t hurt to eat. I was still hazy and not quite aware still, but I accepted the soup and went up to my bedroom to sit down on my bed and eat. That was when it happened, as I moved to put the soup into my lap, it spilled all over my bed, creamy soup soaked my sheets and mattress leaving me devastated. I sighed, cleaned it up and got another bowl of soup. Thinking I had learned my lesson, when I sat down on my bed I made sure I was stable before enjoying my soup. I was successful…for a few spoonfuls, then my dog barked loudly, startling me just enough to move the bowl and knock it off balance, however the bed was not the victim this time. Hot soup soaked into my pajama pants, causing me to strip as fast as I could to avoid burning myself, and when I was done panicking, all I had left was dirty pants, no soup and a small cry to myself.

Shanna Mandell

I one broke the keys on my laptop by dropping a metal travel mug on it. Not only was it metal but it was full. I missed my laptop with the liquid but totally broke 3 keys. I was lucky it was an old titanium macbook and my husband is in IT. We found me a new keyboard and replaced it. I think I also needed a new harddrive for an unrelated reason so while it was open we replaced them both.

Christian Nicdao

Back in college I was playing a game with some friends. There was this gigantic moon that was coming down to destroy the world and out of ideas, we decided to check in with the Raven Queen for ideas. Once we got the answer we need, we also learned the Raven Queen was once mortal, my bard asked how did she become a god. I rolled persuasion. Natural 1. Everyone laughed as my character tend to suck at social interactions. I then realized I had a luck point. Natural 20. My bard is now a diety 😎

Joseph Collison

Brief. A bad day is coming into work and within five minutes, you have spilled 5 gallons pf Ramen broth all over your walk in cooler .

Emily Afdahl

I was working at a concessions stand and the nacho cheese machine needed to be refilled. I was in my first month of working there, and I was never taught how to do it, so I proceeded to drop a bag of hot nacho cheese and have it spill out on the floor. In between the floor tiles and everything. Luckily, there was someone else working with me, so they ran concessions while I took the next hour to clean up the cheese from all of the crevices

Lila Goldenberg

I’m a highschooler in JROTC, so I’m learning “military drill,” and, every five weeks, we have something called Drill Eval, where they record us drilling and grade it. Imagine, it’s the first drill eval, and I’m the best freshman driller in the platoon. We do a right face, and adjust so we’re in height order. They command us to fall in. I’m second in line, so there’s a delay while we start to jog to fall in. The person in front of me dodges it, but I step on a pinecone. When a normal person steps on a pinecone, they crush it and keep going; I, like an idiot, SLIP and TRIP on the pinecone and splat to the ground. I stand up and we finish the routine, but, oh no, it was recorded. I am now the infamous Pinecone, Lacker of Coordination, and the teachers play the clip of me falling every year as an example of growth and what not to do. I am both humbled and humored.

Driftwood747

Was working graveyard shifts for a transport company dealing with legal cannabis, loading up vans. And one van was loading up with racks on racks of THC soda. My two brains cells didn't rub together hard enough and I ended up toppling over 3 cases of the soda... those are like 20$+ a bottle... I know you shouldn't cry over spilt milk but I was devastated.

Alex C

Once as a kid I spilled a full plate of spaghetti down our carpeted stairs and into our fridge in the same night. I don't know why this happened but this still haunts me.

Sooz

My finest moment: I was walking up the stairs with a 32oz beverage and promptly tripped over my own foot and fell down the stairs soaking myself in the process. I’m the resident klutz of my friend group.

Jack

Not a beverage per say, but one of my most mortifying spills was in high school during a live theatre production. We were putting on the Addams family musical wherein I played the part of Gomez and we had to have someone bring out a tray of champagne flutes to do a toast with. Obviously these were not real glass, nor filled with liquid, but I can remember they were so unwieldy that when I went to pick mine up I knocked some over and spilled the contents all over the stage. This was essentially sand and marbles that got added for weight which usually made them more stable on the tray for carrying, but obviously were a horrible choice for other reasons. We had to ad-lib while we basically swept the stage live and thankfully nothing bad came of it, but wow was that a tense few minutes of live performance.

Mars

A couple years ago, we were having spaghetti for dinner, and I was sooo excited cause it was one of my favorites. Well, I made a plate full, and then went to eat on the couch in the living room. We had one of those coffee tables that you can lift part of and eat on it. In the process of lifting it, one hand still holding the spaghetti like a dumbass, i dropped it in my lap. Not the floor, not the couch, my lap. Note: it was VERY hot and I was wearing basketball shorts, ‘‘twas not fun.

Lori P.

Pinecones can be deceptively slippery. When I was nursing at a camp probably 75% of our injuries were pinecone related.

Jack M

First time at Saratoga, just bought the card to bet with and the national anthem starts to play, in my hands are a beer, open wallet, phone, I m also wearing a hat, in my patriotic self I knew I had to take the hat off, I did it slowly and fumbled stuff around in my hands, I was now balancing my beer on my hat in my hand, I then decided I could put a hand on my heart to honor Abraham Lincoln(best prez), while I did that I put my wallet and phone on my hat with my beer, a deadly mistake, the beer then began to fall and I tried to catch it, which caused me to push it more forwards, beer spilled everywhere on its fall to the ground as the “bombs bursted in air” everyone looked at me, one woman made eye contact with me and mouthed “what is wrong with you” I looked dejectedly at my friends who were all laughing, after the anthem the woman came over and called me a dumbass, the end. I take full blame for this one.

A Peeling STicker

Back in college when I was studying Technical theatre and design, all the technicians would have an annual Tech Olympics. One of the games was A Fish Bowl Pong, but each person would be tied to their partner by their dominant arm, so you had to play with your non-dominant hand. So a few drinks into the night, my best friend and I were slooshed. So during one overly excited moment were we made an Island point. We jumped together and slipped knocking over our pong table of Fishbowl Pong and furthermore two following tables. Legends say the floor is still tinted with a Curacao Blue.

Casper

Not once, not twice, but thrice I spilled Faygo Red pop at my best friends house. Twice was on a TV tray that buckled causing red pop to splash all over the carpet and walls and one time I tripped going down the stairs and it got everywhere. I’m no longer allowed cups without lids and I’m banned from having red pop at their house.

Joseph Goldstein

Working as a stock boy at a liquor store when I was in high school. We set up displays of everything made from the cardboard boxes they shipped in. I was setting one up for cheap gallons of red wine. As I was loading the gallons in, 2x2, I tapped the bottles already in the display with the ones I was holding. I never expected such a light tap would have devastating consequences. All four bottles shattered and four gallons of red wine poured out simultaneously. I was frozen in horror, holding two, now empty gallon wine jugs that bottom had fallen out of, while my shoes absorbed a large amount of the four gallons of red wine that spread through the aisle. Thankfully, everyone was cool abut it and I did not get in trouble for the huge mess I had caused. Weeks later, a real "alpha male" shattered 2 gallons of Johnny Walker black trying to carry the four boxes of whisky out after turning down a bag for his purchase to show how strong and manly he was to the cute checkout clerk.

Eric

Family was around for a visit and made time to eat out at a restaurant together. My older brother brought his 3 kids and made a point to keep them out of mischief. It was hubris for him to think all three could go a full meal without accident. While in the process of settling a dispute over chicken nuggets my brother became the very thing he sought to destroy, his long sleeve shirt unwittingly caught the handle of a nearly full pitcher of water the deluge that resulted covered much of the table and the chicken nuggets in question. While the rest of the family at the table senselessly threw paper napkins around I stood up and located a worker who over confidently stated “I got this! He returned to a table of three crying children and embarrassed family and began his attempt at drying the table. His weapon of choice an absolutely filthy apron. This apron did nothing but push the water around as it was not made to absorb liquid! It not only made everything worse it also discolored the water and left a conspicuous stench… it was horrific.

Ashleigh

To keep it brief: One time I was opening a half gallon bottle of massage oil and ended up spilling it all over my hardwood bedroom floor.

Sanna Salomaa

Not necessarily epic, but at least the latest spill in the long line of occurances. I took a cup of coffee and a sandwich with me to enjoy while watching tv. After finishing the sandwich and half of the coffee (thankfully), I hit my knee solidly on the corner of the coffee table. This caused the cup to knock over, which in turn toppled the plate over the edge with an impressive somersault. It shattered into bits. My husband brought those plates when he moved out on his own, so no real casualties were made. He has broken more of my (both expensive and sentimental) glassware that he can’t really complain either.

kallyn

It's school picture day junior year. I did my hair and made a smoothie for breakfast to celebrate how good I was feeling for the picture. I put the smoothie on my car to free up my hand to open the door. I got in the car and rolled down my windows to hear my mom yelling: "have a great day!" I began backing out of the driveway downhill. Just as I make complete stop at the end of the driveway to check for traffic, the smoothie falls down, splashes into my car and all over my head. Not only did my mom have to hose my hair off in the front yard before I changed quick to get to school in time. But I didn't realize that my back window was open and the smoothie was left baking in my car in the hot sun all day for me to find reeking up the parking lot at school. Best part, when I changed outfits, I put my black tee-shirt on inside out and backwards so the white tag looked like I'm in a pope's collar for the photo.

Leith H.

First date, we went to a boardgame Cafe, she was wearing a cute white blouse, I leaned over to capture her piece in the game, bumped the coffee and spilled it across the boardgame and her shirt. Ended up paying for coffee, paid to replace the boardgame, and paid the dry cleaning cost for the shirt. Plus side! There was a second date because she felt bad for me One of many spills in my life

David Moelker

Probably doesn't qualify as epic but on a 20 hour or so flight from New Zealand to Toronto I spilled not just one coffee, but three on myself. Pretty simply how it happened was that I only had one cup holder which had my water, so for the first coffee I fell asleep holding it and woke up the stench of burning skin, for the second I leaned back (having an aisle seat) for the person beside me to get out and they bumped me spilling it everywhere, and for the third, as I was getting out of the plane I tripped spilling it on me and the carpet. I also had no change of clothes because it was all in my suitcase. (dumb move I know). Anyways, in short I haven't drank coffee since.

Kurisil

After having a rough day at college I went home to find out that my mom was making my favorite dish, her spin on Enchiladas, and was just about to take it out of the oven. She mistakenly grabbed a mesh dishrag to take it out of the oven but ended up burning her hand and dropping the casserole dish and making a mess of porcelain and enchiladas all over the ground. I started to laugh much to my Mother's irritation but she soon found the humor after I told her about my bad day. We cleaned up and you better bet your ass I still ate those enchiladas, picking out the porcelain bits.

Scramble Boi

One time I was leaving work after closing up at Circle K around 11pm at night in the dead of winter. The parking lot was covered in ice as I slowly made my way to my car parked across the street. I took a step, SLIPPED on the ice, and fell on my ass. As I did so, my hand tore through the styrofoam polar pop soda I had with me, and I spilled soda all over myself. There was a fuel delivery person filling up the tanks for the pumps and he yelled "Oh shit! Are you okay?" And I said "Yeah, I'm fine." I got up, and as soon as I took another step, I slipped and fell IMMEDIATELY again. I was mortified, and so too was the man, because he was completely silent as I got up and quietly shuffled to my car, dripping polar pop still in hand because I couldn't walk to the trash can to throw it away. I often wonder if this fuel delivery man remembers this story as vividly as I do.

Bukvar's Assistant Isy F

This isn't a beverage story but for sure a spill! I use to work at an all you can eat buffet where you served yourself. Part of my job was to collect and clear dirty plates to a station and the wheel that station out the back. One Friday night is is crazy busy and I am trying to get everything done quickly, I take a corner and the station stacks. Out come all the plates and cutlery. I broke around 400 plates in front of about 300 people. Truly one of the most embarrassing moment of my life have to clean up all these plates as everyone walked by for a look. 😔😔😔

Artie Cardenas

Well, after a long day, I helped myself to a nice big plate of soup. It was warm, it was delicious, and it was very very full. I sat down and tried to bring the bowl close to me but I lost control of it and it ended up in my pants. No resulting physical injuries, just my own pride

Myranda

My roommates and I were hosting a house party. Even though we had plenty of food, one of our guests had a pizza delivered to the apartment, which she then refused to share with anyone. (That doesn’t play into the story, but is still pretty fucked up). The pizza came with a liter of soda, and for some ungodly reason this guest picked orange Fanta for their drink. Later in the evening, the non-sharer must have grabbed a slice and flipped the box lid onto a candle flame, which no one noticed until the fire alarm went off. As flames threatened to spread from the box onto our dining table, I – drunkenly picking the LEAST important task in a crisis – ran over to the fire alarm to try and wave the smoke away and stop the damn beeping. I stumbled into the table on my way to the alarm, which knocked over the open bottle of Fanta in the process. The Fanta spilled onto the flaming box of pizza, which immediately put out the fire. You would think that my friends would be grateful for my quick – if accidental – action that ended the fire, stopped our table from having a burn mark, and possibly saved our very lives... Instead, they maintain to this day (seven years later), that I think Fanta has fabled fire-fighting properties. They call me the Fanta Menace.

Anna Groves

Picture this: It's the pandemic. My husband and I have been learning how to cook together. He has PERFECTED an amazing salmon recipe in our tiny apartment kitchen. So he has just pulled a huge delicious salmon filet off the stove, and he slides it onto the plate I am dutifully holding out for him. And then, disaster struck. As he turns back, the side of his hoodie knocks off the olive oil on the counter. And not the cheap, plastic one. This is the HUGE costco-size porcelain one that someone gave us for our wedding. So, naturally, I lunge around him and make a one-in-a-million flawless catch, saving the kitchen/living room floor from the olive oil. I forgot to account for the piping hot salmon filet in my other hand, though. It falls, in perfect slow motion, onto the floor where our cat IMMEDIATELY begins rolling on the perfectly flakey salmon shards. He didn't even eat it. Just rolled around ruining it.

Chahista

Not me but my friend has the most intense spill story. He worked in an industrial kitchen in the warehouse. A coworker was pulling a pallet of jugs of orange juice down from a shelf but it got caught on something and the whole pallet fell to the ground. There was what looked like a small leak so he ran to go grab some paper towel. He returned to most of the jugs in the pallet having burst open and a lake of orange juice. He looked at his coworker on the forklift and back down at the juice pond before limply tossing his few sheets of paper towel into the centre of it.

maya

I was a freshman in college 2 years ago and for lunch I would always go to the same place and get the same order of penne pasta with marinara sauce topped with cheese and chives (my vegetarian comfort/baby food). One day I got the same order and as I was bringing it to register and stumbled and spilled the entire thing of baby food onto the side of the counter. The food at this place was barely edible so it literally looked like someone who was terminally ill had yarfed all over the counter. The cashier lady was really nice and made me another one while I awkwardly stood and watched another employee clean up everything while I apologized every ten seconds and wondered whether I should try to help clean up or if I should just leave him alone and not make his day worse. To this day I still have a little marinara sauce stain on my Vans as a constant reminder of my abject failure.

Claire Keogh

Once I walked into my house behind my housemate and didn't realise she had headphones in, so when she turned around and saw me behind her she screamed and threw four pints of milk into the air. They split all over the CARPETED hallway and we spent the rest of our time in that house recleaning the disgusting milk carpet

Kate!

During the pandemic, I was moved to another part of my work's building to train new hires. I was used to the loud factory side of the building, so moving to the very quiet processing side was already a big change. This new-to-me side also used to be offices (we took over the rest of the building for production when we needed to start distancing), so there was a big emphasis on keeping that space clean and not destroying it with factory work. The first day I was starting training, I had gotten a giant iced coffee, knowing it was going to be a long day. I hadn't even taken a sip when I got in the door. As I was standing, talking quietly to a coworker and holding the iced coffee by the top (THIS WAS MY MISTAKE), I accidentally squeezed the top of it and the entire 30oz iced coffee spilled on the very clean floor and I yelled "FUCK" in the very quiet office space. My coworker and I still talk about it and point out the stain in the carpet that never went away.

Austin Gumbiner

Not a beverage, but when I was 17, I was a counselor at a theater camp for 5-11 year olds at my high school. At the end of the camp, we were having a big picnic with a water balloon fight to cap it all off. I was put in charge of filling the balloons, and the main teacher threw me three bags of 100 water balloons. It ended up taking me an hour and a half filling up all of these damn balloons in the scene shop sink. I had been storing the balloons in a large plastic bucket with rope handles. As the bucket filled, I began to realize the issue I would have carrying all of these balloons. Once I had completed the task, I tried lifting the bucket, with immense strain. It felt like it was nearly 200 pounds. I began dragging the bucket across the school, which took another twenty minutes. After dragging for quite some time, I was finally outside, separated from the kids by a single parking lot; I was in the home stretch. I didn't think I should drag it any further due to the asphalt lot, so I attempted to carry it. Across the lot, I hear cries of "Austin is back! He has the balloons! Yay!". Almost there. I laboriously hoist the bucket, and I shout "Who's ready for water balloons?!". Focusing all my strength and attention on holding the bucket, I begin to walk. One step. Two step. Three step. On the fourth step, my foot catches on the concrete edge of the curb, and I fall forward from the sidewalk into the lot, landing right on top of the plastic bucket. Naturally, the bucket cracked and shattered, and the weight of an almost grown man and many jagged edges of broken plastic simultaneously popped nearly all 300 balloons. Spewing like a fire hydrant into the street in New York, water flowed everywhere, and I was soaked head to toe in what was supposed to be the ammunition for the big party cap off. What was once cheers for my appearance became deafening silence as I lay drenched and defeated in the parking lot, unable to raise my head from the shame. What felt like an eternity passed before I heard another counselor say "I guess 300 balloons wasn't enough, huh". Despite my guffaw, I was asked to be a counselor again the next summer. We planned another end of camp picnic and water balloon fight, and I specifically requested a wheelbarrow for balloon transportation. Not a single balloon was dropped.

Grant S

Spill story time! It was less of a spill, but the liquid got everywhere nonetheless. One time back in high school I put Sprite into one of those waterbottles with the soft flip up straws. I turned to this girl that I was "talking" to and said "guess what I have in here!" As I went about saying that, I flipped open the straw of the bottle and a geyser of the most delicious liquid known to man shot into the sky, most of it hitting the roof of the classroom and staying there. Everyone starts laughing and if im being honest, it was quite hilarious. As I'm walking out of the classroom to grab some paper towels to clean the mess up, my teacher is walking in and asks me what I'm doing, so I just told him to ask the class. Moral of the story... don't put pressurized liquids in water bottles

Tattoo'd P-psychologist

My dad "spilled" me out of a stroller and ran me over when I was an infant. He says he backed up over me, too. We don't talk much.

Zachary Crabb

I took some family to go see a movie pre-rona. I was carrying 4 large movie theater sodas, in a carrying tray, to the theater from the concession area. There was a wet spot on the tile floor and i slipped at like mach 3 and busted my ass. The sodas flew past my head directly backward and absolutely drenched a group of people behind me. I have never felt so bad. The group was rightfully pissed off at first but then they saw how sorry i was. They got free ticket passes and left to go home. I got a refill and went to the theater. They mopped the area up in like 5 minutes and the manager offered to carry my drinks as a joke.

Taylor Cory

My girlfriend at the time and I went to get food to go. We each got sweet tea to drink. I offered to carry all the food and drinks in so she could go unlock the door. She asked me several times if I was sure that I could carry it all. I confidently said yes, no more than three seconds later I dropped both drinks right on my feet. We’re not together anymore but remain friends and she razzes me for it to this day.

Lauren Hatt

My two closest friends, Kayleigh & Jamie, said I cemented our friendship by spitting water everywhere like a maniac. It was our first week of college & we were still getting to know each other, and we were hanging together outside in a small courtyard type area. I don’t know what we had been talking about, but right as I had taken a huge sip of water Kayleigh said “Oh shit” in a really funny, incredibly low voice. What happened next was like one of those over the top comedy takes, or a whale when it breaches the surface, just a big fountain of water shooting out of my mouth! We were all dying of laughter over it, and it was possibly the very first of countless fits of laughter that us three have shared these last 10 years.

Parker

While working on my research project, I had to take samples every 3 hours around the clock for two days straight. Obviously, this greatly disrupted my sleep cycle. When my alarm went off at 3am the second day, I reached to turn it off and knocked a glass off my nightstand. It somehow shattered all over the carpet, leaving me with no way to get out of bed without stepping on glass. I finally realized I could lay my blanket on the floor, and went to take samples. I didn't have the strength to clean it up until a day later but managed to avoid any foot glass

Virginia

My spill story doesn’t sound too bad, but I promise you it was mortifying. I was 12 or 13 and grocery shopping with my cousin while spending the weekend with her while my parents were traveling. After checking out, she handed me the watermelon to carry to the car and right before we reached the exit, I dropped it. The watermelon broke, sending its juicy pink insides in a splatter across the linoleum. The worst part was that a manager had my cousin go back to get a new one for free while I waited with the bags and tried not to make eye contact with the employee who was stuck ineffectively pushing bits of watermelon around the floor with a mop.

Tales O'Brien

Earlier this summer, I was witness to a spill that gave rise to true and righteous Street Justice. I live in Chicago, and Lollapalooza is always a nightmare on Public Transit, invaded by spring-broke drunk assholes who treat the whole city like the festival grounds, and treat the festival grounds like a dive bar toilet. I was switching trains in the loop when one such gang of tourists decided they were going to make a mad dash from one train car to the next before the doors closed. The slowest one to catch on was a sentient Hollister mannequin who, in his haste to join his identical friends on the next car, dropped his mostly full tallboy, splashing an old lady on a nearby bench before it klanged to the floor, wobbling awkwardly with its remaining contents. The infantile broheim remained oblivious to the collateral damage he'd caused, giggling with his buds in the open doorway of the train car. Then, a hero arose. From down the platform, a man best described as a Latinx Nick Offerman had witnessed the whole thing, and I swear, I saw the lightning in his eyes as he went Super Saiyan. In one graceful, fluid motion, he stormed forward, bent down, without stopping, to scoop the tallboy from the platform, murmured an apology to the old lady, marched up to the doorway of the train, grabbed the douchebag by the collar, DUMPED THE REMAINDER OF THE BEER DOWN THE FRONT OF HIS TANK TOP, AND SHOVED HIM BACK ON TO THE TRAIN, JUST AS THE DOORS CLOSED. The Matrix wasn't choreographed this well. It was my single favorite thing I've ever seen in this city, and one day, I hope "the Passion of Lolla McSchmuckface" is rendered in oils on a chapel ceiling like it deserves.

Holly

Making pizza sauce at my job. 40 pound sack of crushed tomato. Slippery sack. I opened it. Boy, did it ever open. Massive splatters of chunky red. On the counter. On the floor. On the pizza crusts. On the door. Over the bins of ice cream toppings on the other side of the counter and all over me, from my glasses to my nice brand new white chef coat to my shoes.

NotDocBrown

My partner (a renowned spiller) and I were working at home opposite each during the first couple months of lockdown. From the other side of the table, she knocked over a folder, which knocked over a stack of books, which knocked over a cereal box, which knocked over my glass of water. Emptying the contents directly onto my work laptop. It could not be saved, neither could the work. But I did get a day and a half off work!

sotakeabitofcalpol

one time I was in science class and we were given the school’s only class set of gas syringes. we were told we absolutely could not break them, as they were fragile and the department didn’t have the budget to replace them. our task was to measure the pH and volume of gas produced by mixing different ratios of an acid and an alkali, but the worksheet gave us ten times the quantities we should have used, so when we added the two together, the pressure built up very quickly, and I was so terrified breaking the equipment that I held onto the syringe, causing the bung to fly out of the test tube and pour what turned out to be fairly acidic mixture all over my hands. I managed to get no burns from this, and my friends still joke I’m immune to acid (this has been proven several more times)

Lil’ Stinky

In college I volunteered to help attach those little bins of tampons, lube packets, dental dams, condoms, etc to the bulletin boards in the freshman dorms. So I was carrying around a big giant Home Depot sized box of these little crotch care goodie bags. Naturally, I tripped and spilled it in the middle of a busy thoroughfare. Took me like 15+ minutes crouching down in my little fucking short ass mini skirt to pick them all back up. People kept asking if I wanted help. I wasn’t really that embarrassed about the items tbh, because obviously no one was walking by thinking I was carrying around a Home Depot sized box of condoms and shit for my own personal use. It was more embarrassing that I was holding up traffic and people were having to walk around. But it does kind of sound like something out of the Seventeen Magazine traumarama page, right? Emily will know what I’m talking about.

Orb

To the Esteemed Spillmasters and the Slightly Less Esteemed Spillbailiff Jake, A few years ago I was out to dinner at a fancy Mediterranean restaurant to celebrate Mother's Day with my extended family. Several of us ordered drinks, and were promptly provided with our chosen concoctions in the type of glass you would expect, with the exception of my cousin, Tim. Tim was served his Coke Zero in a tiny plastic cup clearly meant for a child, complete with a tightly fitted top and straw. Given my cousins and I were all in our twenties at the time, we all proceeded to give Tim a light razzing. This prompted him to call the server back over and ask for a more age-appropriate cup, after which they pleasantly apologized and brought him back a tall glass of the bubbly beverage. As you might expect, the razzing was still going on by this point. To get in on the fun, Tim jokingly says "Oh no, I hope I don't spill!" and proceeds to mime a spilling gesture, and, you guessed it, in the process proceeds to knock over his completely full glass of soda, spilling it all over the table. I will never forget the look of shame on Tim's face as the server came back and realized that they had given him the appropriate cup from the get-go. The razzing still continues to this very day.

Donny

Earlier this year, I spilled an entire Coke on my company owned keyboard and ruined it. I secretly went to Staples and bought the same model keyboard/mouse kit as a replacement. When the company closed and laid us all off, I swapped them again so I kept the good keyboard and they kept the junk.

Ferissa Lagasca

I used to work in the kitchen at a senior living home. I was tasked to make some ranch and get it prepped for dinner. We usually have it made in these buckets cause seniors loves their ranch. Mind you I’m 4’11 and this bucket is almost the same size of my torso. I carried this bucket of ranch to the refrigerator by hugging it. Honestly this was on me. I was too lazy to set the bucket down to open the door and tried prying it while I had the bucket on my chest. I ended up dropping the bucket and the kitchen was covered in ranch.

Tales O'Brien

PS- The best part was the dripping wet, hopping mad chode and his buddies banging impotently against the glass of the train car doors like the 80's movie villains they were. Hope they had a great fest.

Maggie

Not me but a friend in college worked the late night shift at the cafeteria on campus. One night me and the rest of my friend group arrived to eat and wait for her shift to end, she was carrying a huge bag of milk over to the milk machine. She made it there and sat the bag down on the counter in front of it. While trying to open the machine, the bag somehow ripped or slipped covering her and everything else in the milk. She was definitely pissed off and refused to change the milk bags out the rest of the time she worked there. It has to be one of the funniest things I ever witnessed!

Dippity_Dip

This isn’t about a beverage, but it is a literally explosive story. To preface, when I was young Go-Gurt was my favorite snack (yogurt in a slurpable tube, what child wouldn’t love it?) In the third grade I had one in my lunchbox everyday; one day I decided to start twisting it over and over just for I guess fun? Next thing you know there was a sound like a gunshot (which is not great for an elementary school) and my whole cafeteria went silent. My Go-Gurt had exploded and I was covered head to toe in thick, pink goo. I had to walk all the way to the office by myself so the whole cafeteria watched as I got up and slomped my way to the door; it was the most humiliating experience of my life. I’m now in college, but I still can’t bring myself to eat Go-Gurt no matter how hard I try.

EdwinD

Once I was standing in the living speaking to my mom while holding a glass of water. I had been standing there having a normal conversation for several minutes with no problem. Then out of nowhere the glass falls straight out of my hand and shatters on the ground. I hadn't moved my arms or anything it was like the glass just decided it didn't want to be there anymore and took the plunge. To this day I dont understand how I dropped the glass.

Leah

Esteemed spillers, I have once managed to drop half an avocado into my morning coffee. I was cutting it in half with a knife that my boyfriend prides himself on keeping insanely sharp. As I cut through the avocado held in my hand, the blade went through fast and being burnt (or cut) one too many times by these insatiable knives, I dropped the avocado in a panic. Half of it span across the floor, the other straight down into my coffee, launching my brew not only over my face and down my top…but also into the open draw where I had just reached for said knife. My boyfriend came out to see what was wrong, only to find me dripping and an essentially empty coffee cup with half an avocado in… (but! I was unscathed by the knife, so I’m chalking it up as a W)

Kailie Hind

I was making some tortilla chips for my friends by deep frying corn torillas. Once i was done, i wanted to get the oil covered and put away because i am very forgetful. The solution? Pour piping hot oil into a plastic Tupperware. The container melted of course, spilling hot oil all over the stove, floor, and counter. My friends did not help me clean up as punishment for my stupidity. I respect that.

Bonky Fiasco

My 8th birthday party was at a mini golf place with rickety picnic tables. During pizza/cake time, I set my soda down on an uneven part of the table and it immediately toppled over, spilling onto my friend’s sock. A minute later, I absentmindedly did it again. All in all, I spilled my soda about 5 or 6 times over the course of half an hour and thoroughly soaked my friend’s socks. We are now our 30s and are still friends.

Kiera Walshe-Urbancic

I was at a bar and we were sitting at a table on the street, there was a little barricade between us and the road and a car parked on the other side of the barricade. It was happy hour so I went in to the bar and was walking out struggling to carry 4 vodka sodas. As I got to the table and tried to get into my seat with my hands full, I slipped on the concrete, fell backwards into the barricade which fell onto the car and comically tipped all 4 drinks all over myself and the car with the entire bar watching. It was so embarrassing, the only perks was everyone offered to replace my drinks for me!!

Kayla Hamill

Hear ye hear ye, to the Esteemed Sapiosexual Spillers and the Bearded One, I worked in Gold Class (fancy cinema) in 2019 and we do food and drink delivery to folks while they watch their film. I had a massive tray of large cokes and knelt down next to the person I was delivering too so as not to get in the way of the screen. As I lifted one drink, the weight of the other drinks fucked with the balance of the tray, it tipped and I sent 3 large cokes on to the crotch of this person. Ruined their life forever. Pretty sure the film playing was 1917.

Nesve Fowl

Once when I was going into a early class I had a 30oz cup of fresh coffee. When I walked in I tripped and coated a third of the room with black coffee

Terran Benedict

I was bringing home iced coffee and bagels for me and my wife. I unlocked the front door, bagel bag hanging from my clenched teeth and a coffee in each hand. I felt secure but when I began to turn the knob one of the delicious iced beverages turned with my hand. I had miscalculated but my reflexes are sometimes sharp and I was able to quickly snap the cup upright, saving the drink. I placed it on the ground while I opened the door. As the door opened, my dog rushed me and with the bagel bag still in my mouth I said, “No—,” and without getting my pooches name out the bag began to drop. My dog stopped and watched as I swung to grab the bagels…with the hand I was holding the coffee in. I splashed the drink and didn’t catch the bag. I almost kicked over the other coffee as I shouted “son of a b****!” and my dog seemed quite amused. The bagels were fine, and my wife and I ended up splitting the coffee by mixing them together, each of us having 3/4s of a coffee.

Antonio Gonzales

I woke up to use the restroom and in my half woken stupor, went to grab my yeti cup to drink some water off the nightstand. Didn't have the best grip and when I went to place the cup down, it fell out of my hand, hit the nightstand and spill water all over my bed and pillow. I had to stuff a towel between the sheet and bed.

Joshua Golias

Was at a New Year’s Eve party in a banquet hall and it was open bar, so I grabbed 2 drinks to start the night like Hardwon, double fisting!! Walked back to my table and my left hand decided it forgot what it was doing and I just dropped a whole drink while perfectly sober 🤣🤣🤣

James Lloyd

I Spilled myself. PhD student in Englans in NYC for a conference. My friends were finishing up a workshop and the organisers let me have a couple of beers while I waited for them and chatted. The organisers told me I was drinking too fast and I explained that I was English and Americans need to learn how to drink. Then we were leaving the Botanic gardens (conference site, amazing) and I wanted to put my empty bottle in the trash. So I went to step over the 1 foot high chain fence seperating the sidewalk from the road. I was in a good mood so hopped it instead... forgetting that I am a clumsy idiot with size 13 feet. I rolled a 1 on DEX check (with a minus 2-3 in DEX) so my foot gets caught and I fall flat on my face. Embarrassed I did this in front of my cool American friends I downplay the pain my leg is in. As I get my, a single car leaving the gardens slows down, rolls down its window and I hear from the event organiser's who had been concerned about my drinking "I think you have had enough". I had no choice but to agree in my deep embarrassment before they drive off. For the record, I'd only had two drinks and I lack dexterity sober.

Songbirdo

When I was a teenager, my family moved into a new house. The house had a nice basement, and they had a new white carpet and pullout sofa. It also had a big TV down there, perfect for playing video games. At one point i am sitting on the couch with a whole bottle of coke, which I accidentally spill all over the couch. In the moment, i decided that instead of allowing the soda to seep into the cushions while i get a towel, it would be best to lie down and roll around in it, mopping it up with my clothing and body. The image of myself wallowing in cola while orchestral JRPG music played in the background has stuck with me to this day.

vinicius fernandes

This is very niche Catholic content / sort of a spill, but when I was 14, I dropped the Communion wafer right as the priest handed it to me. He gave me a grimacey smile, picked the wafer up the floor, and ate it (as priests have to do in the Catholic Church). I was mortified and said sorry as I took the second wafer he was holding out to me. Apparently, I rolled a nat 1 on dexterity again and dropped the wafer AGAIN. He tried to hold the smile as he picked A SECOND WAFER OFF THE FLOOR TO EAT, but it was clear he was annoyed. I literally exited without taking communion and have lived in shame ever since. (Maybe this is partly why I don’t practice anymore.)

Ashley Loza

Went to New Orleans with a bunch of friends. Had just gotten to the first bar, purchased my first drink and walked out to the corner(the corners on bourbon street are slick marble). I was wearing worn flip flops and totally slipped with feet in the air and bam drink on me twisted knee and done for the night !!!

Theodore Giesen

Not exactly a spill story but I once put 80 litres of fuel into the wrong hole of a boat on my second day of work.

Abigail Agnew

Not really a spill story, but it was maybe my second or third time DM-ing for my dnd group and one of my players made me laugh so hard I spit beer all over him and his laptop. My players will not let me forget this happened.

Lauren C.

I spilled during a game of Edward 40-Hands. If you're unfamiliar with the concept, it's a drinking game in which you duct tape two 40 oz beverages to your hands. You'd think it was impossible to be a "spill boi" with mechanically unspillable drinks. Nay, nay. I'm allergic to adhesive, so in an effort to be welcoming of my allergy, I had two 40oz malt liquors ace bandaged to my hands. In an attempt to use the restroom after draining my first 40, the bottle slipped off my hand, I attempted to grab it with my other hand (not thinking) and sprayed malt liquor all over my friend's college rental. But that's not the worst part. The bottle in my other hand fell, hitting the toilet in such a way that it cracked the porcelain. A few weekends later, my spill turned into a much larger issue, when a chunk of the toilet fell off. Thankfully, the landlord was pretty understanding. Ish.

Wade S Bernier

This is my most embarrassing story, and it is a spill story of not a beverage. I was working at my old job where I would assist employers with their pre-employment process, specifically drug screens. Well, one day I had just been given a warm cuppa from a gentleman and as I turned around to put it on the counter, my coworker stepped by a little too close so I reacted backwards. Unfortunately for me, my backwards reaction involved me pouring this person's Zirk Juice (piss) all over myself. I then asked to go home.

David Pōkiha

When I was an awkward shaped pre-teen was the cause of a spill. My family was having a nice autumnal soup on a Sunday afternoon. While I was up, getting seconds, or toast or something, my father asked me if I could bring the whatever weird-ass peanut butter substitute we were using at that time (peanut allergy in the house). I think it was golden pea-butter? Something nasty. I decided to be clever and tossed it in the air from one hand to the other. I fumbled it once near the stove and tried to catch it again. I missed, and knocked it into the air and a couple steps closer to the kitchen table. I fumbled it again into the air as I past the dishwasher, the pantry door and the fridge. In a panicked grab I managed to knock it into the air and... Right into my sister's soup bowl. The bowl broke. The pea-butter jar broke. Sister was covered in soup and the tablecloth covered in gold pea-butter. My father laughed as he scraped pea-butter off the tablecloth.

BigPidgey

I bumped my beer while playing games and managed to catch it, but it began frothing BIG TIME. So I jammed my finger in the top to block off the exit route for the violent foam, instead causing a spray so powerful it hit the roof, dripped down onto my keyboard and the next day my W and J keys stopped working.

Sam Ostrin

During college I knocked a beer over onto my roommates' laptop. It messed up his keyboard and he had to get it fixed. It was a few hundred bucks to replace the keyboard which I paid for. Sounds pretty bad, right? Well just you wait. He got the computer back after a week, and the FIRST DAY he has it, I do the exact same thing. I reach for something on the table, knock my drink over, right onto his computer. Luckily this time I didnt have to pay for it since it was covered by the repair warranty, but he was definitely pissed at me. Every once in a while he still brings up how some of his keys are sticky and don't always work, subtly remind me of my double clumsiness.

Clever Name Not Found

Okay this is especially embarrassing because it’s happened more than once. But the first time was by far the worst. I was at 7-Eleven getting a Double Gulp (64 glorious ounces) of Mountain Dew. I had just finished the Herculean task of filling my completely reasonable half gallon of soda when I dropped something. I think it was either the lid I hadn’t put on yet or the straw. Anyway, filled to the brim cup in one hand I bent over to pick it up. I was turned sideways and stretching to reach whatever it was when my full hand moved to get leverage and dumped the whole thing directly into my ear. After a few more similar incidents I now always make sure my cup is fully secured whenever I drop something.

Justin Cockrell

My first job out of college I was a barista and spilled hot coffee on a music producer’s all white outfit.. I lived in Nashville and thought my life was actually over.

Shawn Keefer

When I was younger I bought groceries and tossed them into the back seat of my '93 Corsica - a beautiful car. When I got home I realized that the milk had opened and about a quarter of a gallon had seeped into the dark blue fabric of the back seat. That summer was the worst. I ended up drenching it in Fabreeze and not rolling any of my windows up until Fall came around.

Jboogieboogz

While working at a movie Theater I attempted to put the contents of a bin into a bin bag, which slipped, and resulted in me spilling an entire bin of expired milk and mayonnaise down myself, before then splitting my pants as I crouched down to grab it. Took me 2 hrs to clean up as there was too much fluid to mop

Lauren Schwarz

When I was in my early 20’s I was living alone in a baller loft in downtown Knoxville, and had made friends with an older guy that lived a couple doors down. I was kind of crushing on him, and when he invited me to a party I put on my cutest mini skirt and made my way over, even though part of me was mortified at navigating such an event alone. When I walked in I immediately grabbed a beer and was overwhelmed by….how wild this party was. There was a DJ spinning records and incredible break dancers everywhere. I spotted the host and made my way over, and he greeted me with a hug. Mid hug and on my tippy toes I lost my balance, fell backwards, spilled my beer on the DJ and stumbled ass first into a speaker… which came unplugged upon impact. So the party literally came to a record scratching halt due to my eagerness to hug a cute boy, and inability to keep my balance. Also that cute mini skirt? Flashed half the party on my way to the ground 🤣 One of my most epic spills, and I have had many

Molly Oxenfree

Hey gang!! So this happens some way every date WITHOUT fail, but this is the worst offender. I’m going on a date with this girl I’d been hitting it off with in college. I go to her house on a moped I borrowed from a friend, first time riding one and literally fall off 3 times on the way over, really scruffing up my look. Get to her house and it’s a McMansion, I almost turn back then and there but walk up shaking from nerves and adrenaline from the crashes. Her father answers the door, we awkwardly talk for a bit he notices the moped in dire started so once she comes down looking breathtaking we’re about to leave and he says how about you take my car. It’s a bangin Mercedes’ sports car. Date goes fine I manage not to spill at dinner! We go to a concert have an awesome time and on the way back grab some energy drinks. We pull up I’m dropping her off and going to clean out the car, when my jacket catches on something and I spill monster all over the car. Hate to admit it but I literally just said welp thanks for the night sorry I’ll never see you again and bailed hard. It was a bad time

Sarah

this happened to me for the second time recently, a spill on a train! first time was some valentines flowers that knocked over by my feet and spread across the carriage before i even noticed. Most recently though i fumbled my coffee and just fully dropped it on the floor. Awkwardly looked for something to clean it with, couldn’t find anything, was too anxious to make it to the bathroom so i just left the spill. the problem is - trains actually do move. the spill just spreads anywhere it can in thin, teasing rivers… i now carry a spare towel on trains..

Casey Fenton

It was my second week working a sales department internship at a local television station. I was going to sit in on the weekly status meeting and I thought I should take initiative and bring in a pitcher of water and some glasses. I bring in the pitcher and glasses but this meeting is much larger than I expected so I run back to the kitchen area to get more glasses and another pitcher. While grabbing the second pitcher I drop it, shattering the glass on the floor. The CEO just happens to be walking by when it happens. Luckily, he jokes and says "Don't worry about it, just clean it up!" I'm embarrassed but sweep it up quick. I grab another, fill it up and come into the meeting a few minutes late and the last one to arrive. As I go towards the conference table, my toe clips the carpet and like some gawd damn movie, the pitcher goes onto the conference table, ALSO shatters, and spills water across the entire table ruining all the paper handouts and spilling onto several people's laps that were sitting there. Everyone was very cool about it (at least to my face) but I'm never allowed to get water for anyone ever again.

SquareEggs

Like a month ago I was going through a drive thru for dinner. This establishment uses styrofoam cups. Apparently I was feeling strong that night because when I took my drink from the person in the window, my thumb went through the cup and unleashed a flash flood of cola onto my chest, into my lap, and down my legs. To make matters worse, I had borrowed my dad's car because it wasn't blocked in on our driveway while mine was. I still find small sticky spots in his car from time to time.

FiendishNoodles

10th grade. My first date ever. Our moms dropped us off at the burger king while they both happened to be shopping at costco. I thought I was slick. After lunch I bought some extra buns to take to feed ducks at a nearby pond. It was a great date. fun times, good conversation, cute ducks. time to head back. I drank too much soda. I need to pee, bad. as we walk, our arms brush, and we almost hold hands. we enter the costco parking lot. I don't want to look like a weirdo who just runs off to the bathroom. I hold it. I cannot hold it any longer. I drop into a dead sprint for 15 feet, post up behind a blue toyota tacoma, and straight up piss my board shorts. she is confused, and approaches the tacoma. I begin to shuffle around the truck, so that we are spaced 180' degrees apart from each other. she is almost in my pee puddle. I again panic, look straight forward, and proceed to wordlessly power-walk the remaining 10 minutes back to the burger king bathroom. she confusedly jogs to catch up. I lock myself in the bathroom. I call my mom. mom arrives, I leave the bathroom and simply say "seeya in art class". she texts me many times over the following weeks. I ghost her. I am now 30. I still think of this spill. Black asphalt, and I was wearing rubber slippers. did she see my liquid? Did she know? I will never know.

Shane Park

When I was a dishwasher for a restaurant, I was asked to move this huge 200 quart pot that was half full of the restaurant's marinara sauce to the fridge. Carrying it was fine but I somehow stumbled and ended up not only dropping the pot, but also getting some back splash on my chest and face. Thankfully it wasn't too hot, but the chef and cooks were not happy about having to make another huge batch of sauce.

Dustin S.

So one time I was at Sonic getting a drink and the car hop was handing the drink to me and because I have basically zero depth perception instead of grabbing the cup I inadvertently stabbed my fingers into the side of the cup causing soda to erupt all over my arm and the inside of my car I immediately started apologizing to the car hop and and was talking way too fast because of how embarrassed I was but fortunately she didn't get drenched and I have never returned to that particular sonic

Stephen

My fiancé and I were on a trip to see my parents in Germany, and we went to a cafe in Hohenheim. She got this fancy multilayered coffee with extra whip cream that the lady spent way too much time making. We proceeded to walk up the stairs to the balcony where she promptly dropped the coffee, shattering the glass and spilling coffee everywhere. The stairs had gaps in between each step and the coffee proceeded to run down the walls of the cafe. She then had to have a very awkward conversation in broken German to let the server know, and boy was she mortified!

cucubmer

My time to shine, here is a story called “Don’t Cry Over Spilled Spaghetti”. There is a restaurant in my hometown where you can bring in a pot, and they will fill it up with their famous spaghetti, sauce, meatballs, and jo-jo’s (roasted potatoes), then charge you for however many portions your pot could hold. One evening, as a treat, my dad sent in our big ol’ borscht pot and we returned an hour later to pick up a couple pounds for pasta, sauce, and potatoes. Upon our return home, I was responsible for bringing the pot into the house. As I am waiting for my Dad to unlock the door, I can feel my pants are falling down, so I to take a couple seconds to pull up my pants. Unbeknownst to me, as soon as I set the pot down, it had started to slide across the hood of the car… And in one of those slow-motion movie moments, with my dad and sister yelling at me to catch it, we all watched as the pot swan dived off the car and spilled its contents on the gravel driveway. Luckily (?) everything landed in a pile, so in an effort to save dinner, we decided to just pick up everything that wasn’t in direct contact with the gravel. As we had managed to recover a decent portion of the pasta and potatoes, we said “fuck it” and went ahead with our dinner plans. It was a tense meal, interrupted only my dad and sister would get an unnaturally ‘crunchy’ bite and stop eating… I miraculously never got a crunchy bite, but I still felt really bad for ruining everyone else’s dinner… Years later I am still teased because of this story, but I am once again trusted to bring in our takeout dinners. :p [Shoutout to ‘The Colander Restaurant’, iykyk]

Nick Asmussen

I was at a baseball game bringing some tallboys and garlic fries back to our seats. My hands were full. I had one beer in hand and a cardboard cup holder with beer and fries in the other. As I was sidling down the row one of the tall boys popped out of the cup holder and tipped sideways, spilling down some teen’s back. I had no choice but to fix it with my other hand that also had a beer in it; causing that beer to spill even more on the same teen. I triple-checked to make sure he was okay. He smiled and seemed cool about it. Fortunately, I was able to save most of the beers and garlic fries. Go Mariners!

Anya Saunders

While waitering I was carrying like 5 lasagnas to a table outdoors across a little cobblestone pedestrian road. These lasagnes were cooked from frozen and had taken a Very long time to make. The serving tray was absolutely massive and I couldnt see the floor at all, and right as I was leaving the restaurant, I ran into a knee height pole thing and fell and dropped all the lasagnes. Shattered ceramics and tomato sauce everywhere. Seagulls started swooping for the scraps. Chefs were absolutely furious with me.

Colin Kilzer

As a child I was always been a picky eater from the time I could eat solid foods. One time at a babysitter they had made a ramen with veggies for everyone but I asked for the veg on the side and the accidentally spilled the peas and carrots all over the floor and the babysitter convinced that I was only trying to get out of eating them made me EAT THE ENTIRE SERVING OFF THE FLOOR. Not a crazy spill but a crazy over reaction to a spill. Thats my best spill story

Eli M

High school chemistry class. We were doing a ‘rocket sugar’ reaction by adding jellybeans to a fuel substance that is used to power model rockets. It was supposed to be simple: heat up the fuel and use tongs to drop in the jellybean. Kyle, however, wanted to see what would happen if you added two jellybeans…so he threw a second bean into the test tube while it was already reacting in violent blue fire WITH HIS BARE HAND. The reacting liquid splashed out onto his hand which caused him to recoil, and knock the test tube over which exploded all over the lab table. Fortunately, nothing else caught on fire, and Kyle only suffered second degree burns on his hand. Our teacher made the rest of us finish the lab.

Jess Little

Not a spill story, but when I was an infant, I shoved a pea so far up my nose that you couldn't see it. All I could say, calmly and matter-of-factly, was "Mom, pea in the nose."

Mouse

Pretty recently (this month) while working on an art piece I spilled a full glass of coke on myself, my tablet, and another one of my art pieces.

Brie R.

After failing to complete a make-up AP calculus quiz during my studyhall, I turned in the assignment to my teacher my teacher told him, "I'm not coming to class today," and went to sign myself out of school. (You could sign yourself out, within reason, at my high school if you were 18. The attendance lady let me go b/c I was in full on tears.) I went to steak & shake to lift my spirits with a milkshake, and then proceeded to fumble the shake when I was getting out of my car to go into my house. It spilled all over the driveway. I just stared at it silently for like 5 min before going to my room and just giving up for the day.

Mouse

I was fine, the tablet still works, but I had to throw out the art piece as it was watercolour and the paper just SOAKED up that coke

Samantha Marshall

Not quite a spill story but I’m going to spill it anyway. I made my friend laugh right when he took a sip of beer. He did possibly the world’s slowest spit take and I, thinking of nothing but keeping the carpet clean, shoved my cupped hands under his face to catch the liquid spewing forth. Simultaneously, I cried out “WHY AM I DOING THIS,” thus ensuring my friend would laugh harder and make more of a mess than if I had done nothing at all.

Isaac McAnerin

It's January in 2015, I woke up around 6am, and was in the car at 630. As a tired Canadian boy I went to my local Tim Hortons for a coffee fix. At this time in the morning, the drive thru was so busy that it was quicker to park and go inside, which I did. I got a coffee and a donut, very classic. I guess I decided my coffee and donut did not need to be in the car that morning, as I placed them on the roof of the car. Tired me didn't think twice when I got back in the car and began backing out. I pulled out of the parking lot and began driving down the street, and finally pulled up to a light, where my breaking helpfully reminded me of my forgotten coffee by sending it cascading down my frozen windshield, not only partially freezing on contact and making it hard to see, but ultimately cracking my windshield in a loud, theatrical affair. I drove home and called in sick to work.

Travis Perkins

My very first time DMing. I was running the ghosts of saltmarsh module for 5e and had pages and pages of notes in a word document. One of my players brought ingredients to make warm, non alcoholic mulled mead for everyone. We were having an absolute blast until I spilt a horn of hot mead all over my laptop... It survived the encounter and everyone had fun so it wasn't too bad in the end

jayden f

when i worked at maccas i dropped two whole cup trays worth of coke 8 large cups) onto and partially inside a customer’s car. it really wasnt a good day for me

Jenna Van Elderen

I was about 6 or 7 in a Denny's with my parents on vacation. In a moment of pure bull-in-a-China-shop child unawareness, I gesture too hard and my arm knocks over my dad's glass of coke, and it spills all over him. The server brings napkins and helps get him cleaned up; he gets dried off. But now with a new audience to tell, I begin explaining to the server what happened, gestures included, and ended up knocking my dad's water glass, covering him all over again. I'll never live it down with my family.

jayden f

For a more recent story, Yesterday, i put my coffee down on top of my car to open the door (my hands were full). Then I drove away, forgetting entirely about the coffee that was now covering my windshield. The worst (best?) part of this story, though, is that this is probably the 4th or 5th time I’ve done that this year. I’m going to run out of coffee mugs at this rate

Dylan MacKinnon

I went to college with an Applebees down the road, and they had $5 tankards on a Tuesday or something, so me and the boys used to go there between classes to have a drink, but that day we got a little too tipsy and went to cheers our tankards and broke both of them covering the table in beer and shards of glass. We were kindly asked to leave.

Eryn

I live in an apartment with beige carpeting, which sucks, but what can you do. My dad visited me last Christmas and was drinking a jack and coke, which he inexplicably set on the carpet next to his chair, despite being near both a coffee table and a windowsill. I said "Dad, do you want to put that on the table, there's coasters and everything." The table, my dad claimed, was "too far away," even though I protested, saying surely between the humans and the cat, someone would knock over a glass of jack and coke sitting on my carpeted floor. Anyway, not to point fingers, but somebody DID kick the full glass of jack and coke and spill it all over the carpet. Luckily the carpet is so bad it absorbs absolutely nothing, so cleanup could have been worse. And I guess if you want to defend my dad we can call this payback for any time I, as a child, set a glass of milk or juice on the edge of a table from which it would inevitably spill.

Celina Mariano

Super Bowl 2018! I made a pan of my roommates moms prized corn dip, but somehow tripped and spilled it all over the coffee table while moving it from kitchen to the living room. Thankfully the coffee table was freshly cleaned; about half of it was scooped back into the pan while the other half was unfortunately unsalvagable (aka on the floor). My friends razzed me pretty hard, but we still ate the coffee table corn dip. To this day, I can’t carry a big plate of food without thinking to myself, “What if drop?”

Aurora

In high school, I went on a date with a guy, we went to see Captain America: Winter Soldier. He asked if I wanted popcorn, and thinking we'd share, I said yes. Flash forward through the movie, neither of us had touched the large bucket of popcorn, I was too nervous to attempt to eat. But I felt bad that he paid for it so I just, decided to take it home. We get to his car to head home and I go to get into the car, but the door is lower than I expected, so I high knee the bucket of popcorn and it goes ALL over his car. I was apologizing while trying to scoop the popcorn out from under the seats as he laughed and said "you know I just vacuumed the car before picking you up." I never saw him again.

Julian Leiva

This was 3rd grade. It was Mexican food day at school and my weak bladder made it so I was the last one to get food. I don’t remember the main entree, but I got corn on the side and When I get to the middle of the room I trip and spill my corn everywhere. Everyone looked at me, and I just looked at my teacher and asked her where the broom was to clean it up. 20 something years later and I can still picture the corn flying everywhere. Never had the corn at school again.

GREYFOX!!!!!

I've spilled so many drinks. Some of the most embarrassing First day on the job new sever have 6 wine glasses on a tray. It's going well I'm one with the tray, the tray is me! Then one of the glasses tips cause I was squeezing between some chairs. I correct to account for the tipping glass, overcorrect spilling my other 5 glasses of red wine all over this lady and her husband. I saved the one glass though!! Other time spilled a drink at a friend's house and we forgot about his dad slipped on it and fell down the stairs. He was injured just bruised. I felt awful, alcohol was involved.

Al Ludwig

Once upon a time, I worked at Starbucks and as a person with precisely 8 DEX shit happened and frequently. But the worst had to be the night shift we were short staffed down to two folks and I dropped a gallon of milk about three feet from the ground. Not the end of the world. Until when I got two seconds to breath and clean it up that I tripped over the mop bucket and spilled THAT water. Felt like a goddamn slapstick movie.

Diego Jorquera

Short and sweet: My first day serving I spilt a sweet tea all over a guest and their white pants. I was so embarrassed but thankfully they were understanding.

Elizabeth Egel

My family decided to go to a breakfast restaurant after a softball practice for me and my sisters team and my older sister had just gotten her retainer. She didn't want to try and eat with it in so she took it out and placed it inside a napkin on the table. We were wrapping up our meal and I accidentally spilled my entire glass of sweet tea over the table. Our waitress rushed over and said not to worry and grabbed the wet table cloth up from the table and went to get some towels. We're all embarrassed and getting ready to leave and the waitress rushes back out with a wet napkin and says "um i almost threw this away but I think this belongs to someone" and there's my sisters retainer in her hand. She was visibly grossed out and my family will never forget.

Elliot Cooper

I was driving back to work after getting my morning Starbucks. Eager for my caffeine fix, I lifted the cup with one hand like I always do. But this time the lid was slightly malformed. It squished in my hand and sloshed hot coffee all over me and my center console. Had to work the rest of my shift with soggy, slowly drying pants 😑

Dylan

Me and another friend visited a mutual friend of ours in her lovely London apartment and had a few drinks. As day turned to evening her, very upper middle class, parents came home from work and invited us to stay for dinner. We accepted but as we were sat down eating dinner I went to reach for my glass of wine and knocked it over spilling the wine all over the table. Her parents were extremely nice about my clumsiness and her dad got a cloth to wipe the table. I lifted my dinner plate so he could wipe the wine underneath it but as I, in my inebriated state, lifted my plate I tipped my plate of spaghetti Bolognese into my lap. Needless to say I left very shortly after and have never returned.

BuckyBoy

The only spill story I have is actually someone else, but here goes. Setting the scene: my wife’s grandmother had a pristine room in her home that everyone referred to as the ‘white room’ as the carpet, couches, walls, pillows, etc were all white. She took the cleanliness of this room so seriously, that while she was alive, my father-in-law was not allowed into the room because we once sneezed in there. (I feel the need to clarify my wife’s grandmother is a well loved woman with a kind heart) The situation: I had been married into the family for 4 years or so, and spent every Christmas in the house. The grandmother had passed many moons before and the white room, while now less policed, was still a place one didn’t bring drinks or food. A cousin’s husband was spending his first Christmas in the home. The spill: the cousin’s husband was something of an amateur bartender. He could make a mean drink. He whipped up a batch of dark and stormies (kraken, ginger beer, lime, etc) in a large pitcher with a top. He walked into the white room, holding it above his head and said ‘who wants a drink?’ A few of us nodded and he brought glasses in to the room and began pouring. The first few went without issue. He then poured a drink for my wife, and turned into an infomercial character. He managed to dislodge the lid of the pitcher, tipped the entire thing over, and it’s contents hit 2/3 of the couches and about 1/2 of the floor of the white room. There was about 30 seconds of silence before myself and one of the fun uncles started cracking up. He paid for a professional cleaning service to tidy the room, and doesn’t bear the brunt of any angry family members. But the look of death in his eyes as it was happening is something I will remember forever.

sola

last month I tried out a fancy coffee shop and got the worst and hottest mocha of my life. I put the cup in the cup holder and started driving home. at a stop light i went for another sip thinking it would have cooled off a bit, and saw that my coffee cup was upside down in the cupholder and the cupholder was full of coffee. i think i must have put the cup on the gear shift surface instead of in the cupholder and it fell when i started driving? but I truly don't know. it took half a roll of paper towels to remove the mocha moat

Magdalen the Mad

Ok so at my former place of work we had to prepare a dozen canisters of whip cream at a time, so you get kind of comfortable with the process. It's about 18oz of heavy whipping cream with a sweet vanilla syrup that you pour into the metal containers. I had prepped a bunch of them and was going through shaking them up one at a time. Mind you, I was a young and distractible 19yrs old at the time so when a very handsome man walked in the front door and locked eyes with me I, understandably, got a bit distracted. So I didn't double check that the lid was on all the way and proceeded to, very confidently I might add, shake this container and throw a bunch of sticky cream all over myself. My hair, face, and clothes were covered in the stuff. So I turned bright red and just walked away, leaving this poor confused soul waiting to order his coffee. Luckily I lived close by so I just took my lunch break and went home to shower. I'll never forget the look on his face..

Thomas Raker

I used to work for a food delivery app in college. Someone ordered food from a restaurant across town and they were constantly harassing me via text to hurry up because it was taking a long time. So I finally get to their house after an hour long drive. I get out and spill the food onto the sidewalk in front of their house. I then spill their drinks on top of the food. I get in my car. I go home.

Sam Taz

Not a beverage, but I tried to make coconut-milk yogurt in my Insta-Pot one time, it smelled a little funky so I decided to throw it away instead of risking eating it, but instead ended up spilling it ALL OVER the floor. And not just the tiled kitchen floor. No. It spilled into the wooden hallway floor too. A GALLON of bad coconut-milk yogurt all over the place

DoodlebyCass

When I was putting away groceries this summer, my girlfriend kindly helped me out by tossing things from the shopping bags on the floor, across the kitchen to me where I could put them away in the cabinets. Unfortunately the only verbal warning I got was a “heads up” and when I turned around, a bag of coffee beans was being lobbed to me. My basketball practice combined with my general spaziness and, without thinking, I spiked the bag to the ground where it exploded freshly roasted beans across the fake-hardwood floor. They spilled out with enough force to roll underneath most of the doors in our apartment, including the bathroom, laundry room, coat closet, and pantry. I swept up right away, but nearly 8 weeks later, I am still finding coffee beans in my shoes.

sola

oop ok another quick coffee story: when i was like twelve i biked to a starbucks before school and bought my first coffee. on my bike ride back, holding the cup in one hand, i went to press the crossing button at a busy 4-way intersection. i missed, fell fully to the ground, spilled the coffee all over myself, and could not get up because my cruiser had fallen on top of me. after multiple crossing cycles and dozens of cars passed I was able to get backup. i was so humiliated that i just went home

John C.

In elementary school I was eating a gogurt in the cafeteria at lunch and one of my friends walking by squeezed the end of it. The pink gogurt exploded all over my white t-shirt and everybody called me pinky for the rest of the day. I held a grudge well into high school.

Jillian Hagel

Not me, but my husband: We play at a custom built table where we all have cup holders but he had his canned coffee *next* to the cup holder and proceed to spill it all over his character sheet. The group proceeded to razz him for it so he defiantly continued to keep his coffee next to the cup holder. Approximately, 20 minutes later he dump the coffee onto his character sheet *again.* When he leveled up his goblin warlock the next time he purposely stained it with coffee because he’d grown to like the aesthetic.

farmerjoe_y

I don’t know if baked beans count as a beverage, but when I was 14 I spilled baked beans on Nancy Pelosi’s shoes

literatemushroom

Not my story but a friend from college. We were getting ready for a themed party in the townhouse. The theme: Roaring 20s. The Spill: my friend had brought her grandmother's crystal punch bowl with attachable cups to add some class to our obviously classy affair. So she filled the bowl at the kitchen counter with the ingredients to jungle juice and then realized she needed to move the punch bowl to the table in the living room. Now I know what you may be thinking, she stumbles and spills an entire punch bowl. It's actually worse. The antique crystal absolutely gave out mid transport and shattered all over the decorated living room ruining about 2 hours of work and of course Grandma's punch bowl was no more. It was quite a scare and she felt awful but now about 5 years later its pretty hilarious and we like to razz her about it from time to time

Eddie Jupiter

So, it’s winter in high school in Chicago. Below freezing temps. One of my best friends, his girlfriends parents are going out of town. So my contribution to the party is two bottles of baileys my folks forgot about. I show up after pregaming with my friends, slip on the icy porch and smash both bottles. Not great! But worse, they freeze immediately. Which is bad, bc her folks are coming back in the morning. So while playing beer pong were boiling water to dump on the porch, then searching for glass shards in big gloves right after. But fortunately, it’s Chicago, it snowed the next morning and the snow didn’t melt for like 3 more weeks. So… problem solved ish.

IMRYAN

So when I was like 14 I was bored one day. And I had been making stress balls out out balloons so I had a ton. So I went into the bathroom and filled up a regular balloon not a water balloon full of water. Probably a gallon plus and I took it into my room and was messing with it I had tied it off and it popped allll over the carpet in my room I grabbed a ton of paper towels and tried to clean it all up but it was too much water and had soaked it I didn’t tell anyone in my house until everyone started to notice a smell a few days later we had to steam clean the carpet in my room like 4x to get the water and smell out Love all you guys your podcast gets me through tough days <3

Veronica

I am a resident physician - so I am an MD getting specialty training. I was in my first year seeing a patient in the emerg, pulled the curtain around the bed and spilled the PATIENT'S X-large (Tim Horton's) coffee all over the floor and all down my light grey dress pants. Had to walk around with the stain all day and I ruined someone else's beverage, not to mention made a huge mess in the hospital. Just because you are a doctor doesn't mean you have it all together - I definitely looked super capable and professional that day :P

Leif

To set the scene: It was the summer between graduating high school and college, I was never particularly athletic or anything but I had started going to the rec center to work out a couple days a week… One day, I noticed an older woman appearing to struggle getting her walker through the door - I went over to hold the door for her but I had apparently not screwed on the lid to my water bottle and I ended up dumping a full bottle of water into her purse. She was obviously not happy about this, in fact she was quite irate. I was horrified, apologizing and frantically trying to help. I offered to go get paper towels and she just scowled at me and said “you’ve done enough”. So I went and cried in a restroom stall for like an hour and then got in my car and drove home without working out. I’m ashamed to say this interaction would make me think twice about holding the door open for strangers for many years after the fact. I was going to say that I was a particularly fragile kid and I wouldn’t have cried so much if that happened today but honestly I probably would. For the record I don’t blame the woman for being upset with some random kid who dumped water in her purse I’m just particularly sensitive to the distain of older women I guess.

Leif

(To clarify, me thinking twice about holding the door open for strangers was about a fear of somehow making things worse by doing so and not out of like spite or anything)

Howling Salt Sam

Mine was recent... and involves lots of bugs. Our house recently became overrun by a hatch of boxelder beetles. I had an idea to humanely remove them and started scooping them into an old Nalgene bottle with a paint brush. I scooped about 50 or more of these little guys in my bottle when tragedy struck. I fumbled the bottle and it hit the floor in such a perfect way that the beetles were ejected out like a shotgun blast, scattering across the floor of my kitchen. My cat, Zucchini, was delighted with the outcome.

Laura

This isn't exactly a spill story but a time I should have spilled something and didn't. I once tripped down the stairs while holding a can of coke and a bunch of papers. In the time I was falling, my brain didn't know what to prioritize: my body, the papers, or the can of coke. For some reason, my brain chose the coke. Papers flew everywhere, I messed up my ankle and shoulder horribly (especially from twisting my arm so I wouldn't spill the soda), and almost fell right on top of my dog who was chilling at the bottom. She was completely fine, but looked at me very judgingly. I was sore for the rest of the week but didn't spill a drop of soda. Brains are weird. If I had dropped the soda and used my arm to brace myself, I would've been a lot less hurt.

Eddie Jupiter

Btw, thank you for all you. You’ve really made the world brighter in the darkness

Nyx

My group and myself were presenting a poster at a research seminar. Because of poor planning and nowhere to nowhere to put my extra clothes I was wearing 3 shirts, an under shirt a dress shirt and a group tee shirt over my dress shirt. Where we were presenting was hot due to all of the people in a small area and the sun shining through a large sky light. After I finished presenting I immediately beelined to the refreshments to fill a cup full of cool refreshing orange infused water. I apparently don’t know how to drink water and I missed my mouth spilling the entire glass of water all over my self and my three shirts, fussing my name tag to my shirt and making me look like a fool in front of all of the people I needed to impress.

Sawyer Rogers

My birthday is July 14th, which is bastille day, essentially the Independence Day for France. My mom had been saving since I can remember to take a trip to Europe for my 18th birthday because of the cool timing. I have never been much of a drinker and never even had a beer so we decided to get my first beer in Germany, with some family friends who lived there so they could show us around. They take us to this great pub in Trier. I get my first ever beer and my mom is taking pictures the whole time which gives a perfect timeline of the unfortunate incident. The outside seating was on cobblestone so the table was a bit shaky and not even a quarter of the way into my special wheat based beer my hand bumps into it knocking it over and spilling all over the table, I quickly grabbed the beer and managed to save about a third of it. I managed to finish it without incident, but as we got up to leave I bumped the table slightly and because of the cobble underneath the table shifted and the empty glass fell over and shattered, then the remaining nub of broken glass immediately fell onto the chair I was sitting in, breaking even more, and finally the ground. One of my favorite stories to tell and the pictures are truly priceless.

Pork Chop

The worst I’ve ever done was when a waitress handed me my iced tea. I went to grab it. I had a slight tremor and it slipped straight through my hand. Ruining 3 peoples meals. I was mortified. Another one that was less embarrassing was when I went to the bar with the guys from work one morning after nightshift. We had one beer and then halfway through my next one I went full butterfingers and an eruption of foam went everywhere. I was from then on classified as a cheap date and a lightweight.

Adam Pearce

So earlier tonight I had dinner at a Mexican food restaurant with my family. My brother had gone and scooped his guacamole onto a plate to give to my mother. Since I also did not want my guacamole I moved to scoop mine on to the plate, as well. As I started maneuvering the fork to try and scoop the guacamole my Dad questioned if I was going to be able to get it all in one scoop. Sure enough I did manage to pick it all up and I slowly started moving it over to the plate. Just before I got it over the plate my mother said that I think he’s got it. Then I spilled it all on the table just between my plate and the guacamole plate.

Connor Ray

The worst spill of my life is when I spilled water out of my DMs Britta three times during our campaign finale (also our first session in person since COVID). Each time getting a different surface of his kitchen covered in water after not learning my lesson to not pour water at the speed of sound,. Just using paper towel after paper towl too soak up the water and my regret. Not a merch plug but I was wearing my Moonstone pullover.

Madison

Worst spill that I ever had was in Berlin after accidentally ordering a full instead of half of a beer at a Bavarian restaurant. I had committed to my bad choice because a couple next to me and my friend table made a comment that the glass was bigger than I was, and I guess I took that personally? After by drink and apparent vindication, I had stood up to leave the restaurant at the end of the night too quickly when I spilled some of my drink on my pants in the crotch area. I had also promptly tripped down the stairs on the way to public transport and sprained my ankle. I had to explain for the rest of the night, while a little drunk, why I looked like I pissed myself and admit to my mistake.

Christopher Lasasso

It was a cold afternoon in the fall several years ago and I was craving a milk shake from Shake Shack walking home from work in NYC. My checking account was low and pay day was a few days away but I so desperately wanted that seasonal pumpkin shake. I got online and immediately got skipped by a group of 11 year olds wearing blue prep school blazers who ordered so much food, paid on their brand new iphones with apple pay (it was fairly new then). Finally I could order and got my milk shake - it was so good. I started walking to the train, saw the steps were covered with ice, and with foolish confidence took one single step before slipping into the air, tumbling down every step and spilling my milk shake all over myself. When I finally reached the bottom an old man came up and said "are you okay" and with my breathe almost completely knocked out of me all I could say was "I dropped my milkshake..." and he stopped helping me and just left me there on the ground. Any time I eat shake shack I relive this moment.

Brenton

Once I spilt some drink while in bed and as I went to get up quickly to get something to clean it up I tripped on some things on the ground with the drink still in my hand spilling more and the shock of tripping also made me fart. This was in front of my relatively new girlfriend at the time (5 month relationship)

Thomas Barker

A few years back I worked at a ramen restaurant and went to work one day without wearing any underwear. Only 30 minutes into my shift, I reached across a counter and my shirt caught a container of the fattiest hot broth we had, spilling it all over my crotch. Needless to say, it was not a pleasant experience.

Avelyn

Not a beverage, but food: My family used to have a tradition of having brunch on Boxing Day at my uncle and aunt's house, and I always helped to make the food. One year, when the food was just finished, I was carrying the pot of beans to the table. My dad told me to be careful with them, and I said something to the effect of 'Of course, not like I'll drop them!' Of course, after tempting fate, my karma struck literally like three steps later when I stepped in some bacon grease no one realized wss on the ground. I fell on my ass and the beans went everywhere, on the table, on the food, the floor, the assorted people, it went EVERYWHERE. I heard that they were still finding beans on occasion even a couple years later, and my family never allows me to forget about the time I literally spilled the beans.

Peydon Bush

Serving at a steak house, my co worker was carrying a tray of sodas while also handing a guest a steak knife for their steak, which they thought the guest had grabbed it but they hadn't, so they accidentally dropped the knife, into a baby carrier with a baby in it (the baby was 100% fine btw), then they were so caught off guard they spilled the sodas on the tray, spilling a ton of soda and ice into the baby carrier. The mother of said baby was screaming "My baby!! My Baby!!!" over and over again, but couldn't get out of the booth because her very elderly (I assume) father was in the way and was only slowly reacting to the situation. My coworker was just stunned and stood there mumbling that they were sorry, not knowing if they should pick this lady's baby up out of its now sticky, icy baby carriage (They had grabbed the knife by this time). The manager jumped in to help clean everything up (he happened to be closer than I was). Everyone was fine but I remember being so glad that wasn't me that spilled soda, ice, and an actual steak knife on a baby.

Turboman

My friend was messaging a girl on Tinder in Vegas, so we planned to meet up with her and her friends for dinner, and then plans to hit a club after. In the meantime, me and the boys were watching a football and had big money on the Pittsburgh Steelers. The game was going horribly, so late in the game I had an edible to ease my gambling woes. All seemed lost, until the Steelers proceeded to complete one of the most miraculous comebacks in sports I've ever experienced! In the cheering, ecstasy, and bro-iness of it all, we were a solid half hour late to a restaurant that was 5 minutes from where we were staying. At the moment we won the game I did not think anything could strip that joy from me for the rest of the night. The scorned look on the faces of these women instantly erased that notion. We tried to push through it all and have some nice conversation, almost instantly realizing that we would connect on absolutely nothing. This meetup was going horribly, and we hadn't even got our waters at the table yet. Once the waters did come, I was ready to have several sips and do the thing where you're too busy to talk because you're drinking. This was my fatal flaw. It was at this moment the edible kicked in. I proceeded to drink a sip of water, all was well. Then I decided to inspect the glass, which was sweaty, by lifting it up and holding it by my fingertips. The glass slipped out of my hand and proceeded to not only spill, but shatter all over the poor girl sitting across from me. Her clothes were wet , but it's only water right? Wrong, she proceeded to lift up her hand which pricked with shards of glass and oozing blood. I sincerely apologized and they were at least kind enough to finish the meal with us, but there was no clubbing to be done. Instead we got in our car and immediately talked about how that was one of the worst experiences of our lives. So, to top it off, my friend who arranged the date messaged the girl from Tinder " that was a lot of fun, let's do it again sometime :) "

Delaney Garry

Me and my family had gone to Chicago for something. While we were there we stopped to get some Chicago pizza as one does. Late in the meal I went to grab something but instead basically punched my brothers completely full soda into his lap. We then had an about 7 hour car ride home. I really hope this was when he was living in Madison so it wasn't so long but this memory has tried to wipe itself from my brain.

Delaney Garry

When old women are upset with you it's a different kind of pain.

Fiona Dowell

my school has fountain soda in the dining hall and i decided to fill my new water bottle with some ginger ale, it’s the kind with a straw thing attached to the lid. while waiting for my friends to finish grabbing their food (we were eating outside) i felt the bottle start to leak and noticed that the bottom had started to pop out. i opened the bottle and a stream of ginger ale shot out of the straw onto my mac and cheese. it happened twice more as i was a fool who kept closing the bottle. the food was mostly undamaged so overall lunch was successful.

Shooon

I knocked over a glass of water on my desk onto my cat. I apologized to Rocket and gave her some scratches. After I cleaned up the spill on my desk I got back onto my computer, I was listening to some music(Persona 4's Reach out to the Truth to be specific) and then the song and screen started glitching out. So it turns out there was more water and it was dripping off of my desk through the vent grates of my computer straight onto my new GTX 980 Ti graphics card. I tried to see if I could salvage it but yeah it was super dead. =(

RJ

We put our washable Lovesac covers to the test the day I managed to dump a wine glass from the coaster and into the wall/between the couch and the wall. Yes it was red wine. Yes, it really did come out in the wash. I don’t know why my WHITE wall didn’t stain but I’m officially afraid of our paint now. The reason this all happened is because I forgot I stuck a lighter in the empty coaster earlier.

Jordan York

So my spill was not a drink but an entire family sized extra large, Chicago style deep dish pizza. In college, I worked at a pizza place as a server. I had a table that was in for a big birthday party. I carried 2 massive deep dish pizzas to their table. Now, I was wearing oven mits while carrying these and I made sure to tell everyone how hot these pans were. I got the first one down no problem, but there wasn’t room for the second pizza. While the family fumbled to make room, I calmly smiled while my hand slowly burned completely, yes even through the oven mitt. After nearly a minute of the family not being able to make space I alluded to the fact that I need to find somewhere to set the pizza down, as it was very hot. The mother of the family reached out and said “oh here I’ll take it” and grabbed the pizza pan from me before I could even react. She instantly realized it was scalding and dropped it all over the floor. Luckily the flaming hot pie didn’t land on anyone. She has small burns on her hands and tried to sue the restaurant. I still feel really bad about it.

Lydia Braddock

Not really a story, but almost every morning my I make my partner coffee, and almost every morning she spills it on herself and the couch. I always have a paper towel or napkin ready to go, and only razz her slightly!

ADruidLifeForMe

when i was a kid, we went with my dad to pick up something from an office building.. long story short i spilled hot tea all over my 6-years-old sister in a cafiteria full of Adult Buisness People and she hasn't forgotten or forgiven since

Gearoid Cotter

Not really a spill story, but once at a family party, while walking over to the BBQ while holding my drink, i tripped over something, did a full 180 tumble and somehow landed back on my feet without spilling a drop. Proudest thing I’ve ever done completely by accident and blond luck!

kody lanca

When I was 18 I got a job at my local pub. (shout out to The Old Swan) It’s a beautiful village pub with a thatched roof and wooden beams. Proper cosy and at the time the owners wanted it to be a rather high end pub. Anyway on my first shift I served a table of 6 builders who had come in for dinner they wanted 6 steak & ale pies and a pint each. I went and poured 6 pretty impressive pints (if I do say so myself) and started taking them over to the table. I was so nervous and not used to the balancing act of carrying all these drinks. I managed to get down the couple of steps and all the way to the table. Went to set the tray on the table and basically threw all 6 pints over these builders. I’m not sure how I did it but I covered every single person at the table so it looked like they all pissed themselves. Shattered all the glasses so the entire pub heard and said (WWAAAYYYY). I was so embarrassed and the owner was mortified that she gave them the pies for free. The builders from that day called me spiller the entire year I worked at that pub.

Yarger the Pirate

Ever since high school I have been notorious for spilling drinks over. Cups, cans, anything vertical filled with liquid was fair game. My friends would always make jokes about keeping drinks away from me. I distinctly remember knocking a glass over at a bar and having it shatter loudly. The worst instance I recall was Thanksgiving 2 years ago. While passing dishes around the table I managed to knock my red wine glass onto my sisters' nice white tablecloth. I tried to buy her a new table cloth for Christmas but she insisted she was able to remove the stain from her old one.

Cara McKinley

The throw up I'll take to my grave. I was about 19 and my college was in a bit of a rough area in Scotland so there was only one pub that we felt comfortable to drink in and on that night, there was only one place we could sit with enough room for us all. I had come directly from class and was super thirsty so I ordered a pint of water along with my cider and downed the water in one at the bar. I sat down with my cider with my friends and took a drink. Unfortunately that drink made me burp and the water just came right back up. I managed to turn my head quickly enough to throw up all the water (and a little bit of puke, I'm only human) behind me and away from the group. I snapped back round to explain myself and apologise but saw that somehow... No one had noticed. I think the pressure of not having anywhere else to sit or drink got to me because rather than confess and leave.. I picked up my brand new jacket and tossed it over the sick to hide it. I then forgot about the sick until it was time to leave and as I put on my jacket someone said "something smells like sick." and my eyes and the eyes around me zeroed in on the sick soaked sleeve of my jacket. I knew I had to think fast and after a second I said... "OH MY GOD WHO THREW UP ON MY JACKET?! THIS IS BRAND NEW WHAT THE HELL??!" and stormed off to the bathroom to clean it. The worst thing of all is when my then girlfriend and I got home she said "Jamie said he thought it was you who threw up. How ridiculous is that?" and to this day, I have never told the truth of that incident to anyone who was there that night, not even my girlfriend who was with me for 4 years after.

Bobby Huggins

I had a few that came to mind --- honorable mention to the Great Shrimp Sauce Disaster of 2013 --- but my best Spill Story is not actually mine, nor is it a Spill Story per se... One typical high school Summer, my brother and mom drove to a local chain to pick up our weekly burrito dinner. As they pulled into the lot, some jackass in a Porsche convertible cut them off and swung into their parking space. I think my brother tried to say something to him, but the guy waved him off and walked away. So my family waits their turn for another spot, then picks up their order and heads back to the car. Now, I wasn't there, but my brother's always been a bit gutsier than me when it came to standing up for himself, so I can really picture how steamed he must have been. I don't think anyone besides him saw it coming when, on his way out of the restaurant, he took his full, size-large fountain soda and --- in a move that I can only picture in majestic slow motion --- lobbed it like a hand grenade of comeuppance directly into the light leather interior of Mr. Asshole's fancy convertible. Mr. Asshole had just enough time to see this happen through the window and start pointing and shouting before my brother (smugly satisfied) and mom (mortified) made their getaway. Some say he is still cleaning sticky sugar water off his seats to this day. We've both grown up quite a bit since then, and I have many other and more mature reasons to love and look up to my brother, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't appreciate the fuck-around-and-find-out side of his personality too :)

Amanda Lee

One New Years Eve, I’m not sure how long ago exactly, but my youngest sister was still in high school because my parents had bought sparkling juice. It was early in the evening still, I’d had some actual champagne, and I was drinking some of the juice because. It’s. Delicious. I was in the dining room on my laptop while the rest of my family watched the Red Wings game (be nice, I like one(1) sport and one(1) team) in the living room … and unfortunately I spilled the entire glass on my MacBook when they scored. This spill haunts me, because not only did it ruin the computer but no one believes me when I say that I hadn’t spilled alcohol on it.

Saru

When I was 8/9 my dad let me pump gas during a roadtrip. Due to being a kid I spilled gas over myself AND my dad and we had to clean up in the restroom of the gas station. Never got my driver license and never tried pumping gas after that.

Catherine Allen

It was 4th of July. We were all gathered around the dining table and I was running Descent Into Avernus. My bf hands me one of his homebrewed beers and after 2 or 3 sips, I gesture wildly while narrating and dump the WHOLE thing onto my laptop. RIP

Clotilde

(from Claud S., not Josh as the name says) This is not about a beverage, but a human is technically a container full of water, so. I was once on a very full bus and was standing facing a row of seats. I'm usually a pro at "surfing" as the bus jostles and turns, without needing to really hold onto anything. This is a skill learned by bitter necessity, since I'm too short to comfortably reach the horizontal bars that you're supposed to be able to hold, and I don't love squishing my cheek with my shoulder while tippy toeing like a saccharine anime girl, especially not while facing a seated 50 year old construction worker about to tell me to smile more ANYWAY the bus began to slow, I expected for a wide turn, and I engaged my stance and leaned the opposite direction. Turns out the turn was a left, and I started to fall. Surrounded by other bus goers like sardines and with no space to put a leg out, I just swiveled my feet. Didn't work, still falling. Swiveled again. Had to keep going with that strategy until I was honest to god doing the Elaine dance to stay upright. The person in the seat facing me tried to hide a laugh as I humourlessly gyrated to the floor, mauling and subsequently drawing the attention of about 15 people in the process.

atlasrising

The premise: I used to go all out on decorating the Christmas table each year. I'm talking elaborate set ups with lighting and invisible string, just absolute festive madness. One year the theme was "white christmas". The table was covered in my mums FAVOURITE white tablecloth, silver table runner, candles, napkins, branches to look like trees, little reindeers, the whole shebang. The catalyst: My poor sister who just wanted the gravy boat that my nan was hogging opposite her. The problem factors: 1. The table is overly stuffed with both food, decorations and people. Our dining room is not fit to have eight people around a 5-person table. 2. My Nan is quite stiff, she's in her mid-80s, and doesn't have much reach when sitting down. So sister has to kneel on her seat in a tight space & lean more than halfway across the white abyss to reach the gravy. 3. My parents had just uncorked a very expensive bottle of red wine, which had been forgotten in the fray. The result: My sister catches her elbow on the open wine. Horror blooms on the faces of everyone present. A moment as sister becomes resigned to her fate; the bottle is too far gone to be righted. Red wine slashes through winter wonderland. It's a bloodbath. Sister apologises over and over and sighs when she realises her entire plate is soaked in wine, her Yorkshire pudding soggy. We've never let her live it down, there's a joke every year to keep her away from the booze. I'm not allowed to decorate the table so elaborately anymore by general consensus because "aesthetics shouldn't impede practicality". The table cloth could not be salvaged😂

Mary W

The first time I met my step-mom's family was at thanksgiving when i was 15. At thanksgiving dinner, I was sitting next to her grandmother, who was truly the oldest woman I've ever seen in my life. I passed the bread basket around the table and knocked a full glass of water on this poor old lady. I was absolutely mortified, and my dad still makes fun of me for it!

Final Girl

While I am personally an epic spiller, I cannot pass up an opportunity to share the story of my friends most widespread spill (with his full permission, he has said to razz away) In college I was holding a cast and crew after-party in my house. Imagine a large group of rowdy Irish theatre kids crammed into like two rooms and a garden. In the kitchen there was a large table where everyone was putting drinks and empty bottles, and at this point in the night it was essentially full. While dancing too vigorously to a Britney spears song, my friend accidentally hipchecked the table and caused an avalanche of glass and alcohol to flood the entire kitchen floor, with my poor friend standing in the centre, absolutely mortified as the loudest crash I've ever heard filled the whole house. Everyone obviously rushed to see what had happened and immediately started ribbing him but also trying to help clean up. My friend was so embarrassed and felt so bad he insisted everyone stay out of the kitchen for twenty minutes and cleaned the whole thing up himself, and gave up the alcohol he had left to make sure there was enough left for all the people who'd lost their booze to the great Britney Avalanche.

Knit Whit

At my husband's 10-year High School class reunion, he was introducing me to his High School steady. When I went to shake her hand I accidentally hit the rim of my Red Solo Cup and spilled my entire beer all over the front of her. If looks could kill I'd be dead by the one she gave me. I apologized profusely. (I honestly did not mean to spill a beer on her. Besides, you had your chance and he's my man now bitch) Needless to say, she did not believe me. She avoided me like the plague whilst her and her minions riddled me full of eye daggers the rest of the night.

Izzy R

In elementary school the lunch ladies called me “isa-spill” because I’d spill my fruit cups every day

Mac Callahan

One time, at a local sports bar, I spilled not one, not two, but FOUR glasses of water in one sitting. At the time I was underage so I was stone cold sober. There were never enough paper towels and they inexplicably brought me a new water after each time I spilled.

Andrew Brownlee

I worked at a gourmet pizza spot in high school and picked up shifts in college. An epically clumsy person, I wasn’t the ideal server but had made it through the summer to my last day: a chill day shift. A 10 top family came in with everyone from grandma to months old baby. Walked out with everyone’s drinks on a tray and made it all the way around the table with just two drinks left, I drop the penultimate beverage off when I start to feel a wobble… despite my best efforts the glass of sangria slides off the tray… all over the baby. Baby was drenched, I was mortified, never worked there again.

AKRhodes

We had a student one time who was serving glasses of champagne, and she slipped and dropped a full glass onto a bald man's head. Needless to say he was a little preterbed

Emily Becker

I was filling a pot to cook pasta in, but when I turned to put it on the stove my elbow hit the corner of a pan in the sink. Ended up dumping the entire (COLD, NOT HOT) pot of water on my dog, who loves being underfoot when we cook. She was obviously very shocked at my watery betrayal.

Melinda Soles

I was at a music festival, and I saw a guy pass in front of me with his tag sticking out of his shirt. Instead of letting it go, I tried to get his attention, but while walking towards him I tripped on a backpack, landed between the man’s legs, and as my dramatically flung raspberry cider seeped into my eyes and this strange man stared down at me lying between his legs all I could think to say was “Your tag is sticking out.” I was very sticky for the rest of the day.

Trey Tycer

During my very brief stint as a waiter, I had a relatively major hiccup. At our restaurant we had pitchers for water and tea. A table needed more water so I grabbed the pitcher and went to refill glasses, as you do. I extended the pitcher in front of a patron and as I moved it past them, the handle on the pitcher broke and the entire pitcher spilled all over the person. I was not a good waiter.

Tito

My first job as a server, my first night on the floor I was pouring waters for guests, and as I was introducing myself and telling them about the specials, I realized I was missing the glass and dumped about a cup of water directly into this very rich woman’s purse. Thankfully no one was actually paying attention to me so I could just recovery silently, but I did see her wyl out when she went to reach for her car keys in our parking lot.

Kortney Callahan

I worked full time as a waitress at a golf course restaurant over the summer. We have a group of eight that come in everyday at 10:10am and order the exact same thing. Two pitchers of Bud Light, two pitchers of Miller lite, and chips and salsa for the table. I had done this practically everyday for two months. I knew the routine. What I didn’t account for was the guy taking the bet money from their round getting upset over $3 that was missing, standing up abruptly and knocking into me. This caused the two full pitchers of beer I was carrying to spill all over me. I had to go home and change and when I came back they, had each left me $20 tips so it wasn’t that bad of a day after all. I’m part time now and I remind them when they start getting rowdy.

Marie

When I was a bit younger and had just started university in Dublin my friends and I were going on a Big Night Out. So I had some friends over to my house to have some drinks beforehand, and got absolutely steamed beyond belief, because I was a baby (18) and then we went off to the club in a big group. We arrived and queued for ages, but not long enough for me to sober up, because when we got to the door the bouncer took one look and was like "absolutely fucking not, go and get some coffee and try again" I was so out of it at that point that I believed he was telling me to bring HIM coffee, like as a treat or a bribe? So I was like okay. It's 1am. nowhere is open. where am I going to get coffee. Also I'm very drunk. So I wandered down the street and came upon an extremely fancy hotel (the one owned by Bono) and I could SEE from the street that they had a little coffee table in the lobby. I wobbled in, watched in complete silence by the two people working at the front desk, and filled a white ceramic teacup with hot coffee. I walked out with it. I managed to make it all the way back to the club, stood with it in the line, arrived back at the door, and immediately spilled it all over the bouncer's body and legs and feet. It was cold at this point. (he did not let me in)

Preston Taylor

Hey 2-crew! As a teen I worked in fast food. Once a grumpy, generally unpleasant drive-thru customer came through. Amongst his annoyingly specific order was also a 10lb bag of ice which we sold in the summer. We were extremely busy and I hurriedly pushed the bag out the window lifting from the bottom. My hand met no resistance as the tie detached. The entire contents dumped from the bag, through his window and into his lap and interior. He was livid and my manager made me clean the interior of the man's car, which took several minutes. All the while him lecturing "don't I know who he is" and he's a very frequent "regular"....no employees has seen him before.

Nicole Andrade

I ordered a venti green tea latte from Starbucks a few years ago, and as the barista looked me in the eye and handed the drink off, my brain short circuited and I completely lost all of my already minimal hand-eye coordination. Instead of picking the drink up off the counter, I extended my hand and basically punched the cup, knocking it over and spilling steaming hot green liquid all over the counter. I apologised profusely, and the barista was super nice about it, but standing there waiting for her to clean up my mess and remake my drink for me was maybe the most uncomfortable 3 minutes of my entire life.

McKinley Case

Hello all! My roommate loved smoothies. Sunday morning my other roommates and I are hanging out, he spends like 20 minutes making the perfect smoothie. Finally comes to sit down and rests the cup on the couch, he sits down and slides to the left. Fatal mistake. Smoothie goes everywhere, covering him, his girlfriend, the couch, and the floor. He stands up immediately, yells "AW F*CK MY ASS," runs a total of three feet before cartoon-banana-peel style slipping on the floor from his smoothie covered socks. Hardest I've ever seen someone slam into something in my life. Stunned silence from everyone followed by screaming laughing. He then brought the mop and bucket to clean up... Which he then tipped over and spilled the mop bucket. Just a great day.

Ian Smit

I once dropped an entire container of spicy Mayo on my foot at work, worse than that it was the beginning of my 10 hour shift and I had to throw away my socks and straight up raw dog my feet into my shoes for the rest of my shift.

Erin

When I was little I was the designated birthday cake carrier. So whenever we would light the candles I would be the one to carry in the cake. I have dropped not one, not two, but FIVE BIRTHDAY CAKES! They’ve all fallen face first right in front of the party guest. For some reason my parents thought i, a scrawny little girl was the right choice to carry in all the birthday cakes. I’m not allowed to carry cakes anymore.

Holden

Yesterday I knocked a 34 ounce bottle of Valentina hot sauce out of the break room fridge at work. It spattered me and a blow up Jack Skellington so now I looks like the pumpkin king did a murder

AshDronaut

This is sort of an UNspill story but on my partner’s 29th birthday last weekend he was walking down the stairs with 4 drinks in hand, slipped, and slid all the way down the stairs. His tail bone still hurts a week later which isn’t great but he actually didn’t drop a single drink!

Jennifer Johnston

I was at camp counselor training one year (my first actual job in high school) and someone asked for the Koolaid pitcher during lunch. Well, when that happens apparently it becomes everyone’s job to fill their own glasses immediately, (and chugging to get an empty glass, if there’s already a drink in it) so the pitcher is empty by the time it reaches the requester. The Koolaid requester didn’t take kindly to this, and lunged across the table to grab it, and this resulted in a largely full ice-tea jug getting upended in my lap. So, not my spill story, but goddamn every single one of those assholes. I’m still mad about it.

Amber Hawes

I grew up in a very long and unusual house. The garage was very far away from the kitchen and.... on the spooky, dark side of our home. Now, my mother would regularly tell me and my siblings to go get stuff from the garage even though that part of the house terrified us. As we had no choice, we made it our goal to get in and out as soon as humanly possible. We SPRINTED from one side of the house to the other and would occasionally trip and fall. On one particularly dark and terrifying journey, I was tasked with retrieving a gallon of apple juice from the garage. I had almost made it back to the kitchen when I slipped at the top of our staircase and tumbled down with apple juice in hand. I thought I had managed to save it, but at the last minute I lost my grip and it opened and sprayed EVERYWHERE. Needless to say, the carpet, the stairs, and I were all very very sticky and my mother was quite unhappy.

Turner Tush

I was recently getting drinks with my new girlfriend and my roommate and we were talking to a stranger that invited theirselves to our table and told us about their cucking fetish. Unrelatedly when the bartender brought me my Paloma and I slid it towards myself and spilled the entire drink onto the crotch of my overalls. It looked like I did it on purpose. I was too embarrassed to stand up so I sat in the wet cold tequila the whole night and then walked home very cold

Adam Johnson

Hi there! This is not a liquid spill story, but I think it's still pretty embarrassing. When I was younger my dad would walk my sister and I to the school bus stop during elementary/middle school. Over the years, we created some games to pass the time. One of the games was called Acorn Wars. Because of the large oak tree that hung over the bus stop, there was a plethora of acorns there. We would gather them and throw them at each other, all in good fun. Skip forward to middle school, and I was sharing a half locker with a really cute girl I had a crush on. She had the bottom locker and I had the top locker (awkward situation). Well one day I was shoving my backpack into my locker, and it tipped over, spilling hundreds of acorns I had stockpiled like a mad squirrel in one of the pockets. They crashed onto this pour girl, and covered the ground around her. I simply could not explain what happened, so instead I ran away, opting to share a locker with one of my friends rather than return and face the consequences of one of the most deathly awkward non-liquid spills ever.

Bridget Adams

In college, I took a class called Restaurant Ops in which we ran an invite-only fine dining restaurant on campus. We rotated through the different jobs, and on the night I was a server, I spilled an entire bottle of beer on the professor's wife. She was very kind about it.

Hannah Rubinek

My spill story takes place during my 8th grade class camping trip. The options at lunch on the first day were wedge myself in at a crowded picnic table or eat alone. Went for the wedge. I had a tray of food in one hand and a can of soda in the other. I managed to find a narrow slot and put the tray down on the table. Then I tried to climb over the bench to sit down. Important detail: the picnic table was at the edge of a small but pretty steep hill. I got one leg over the bench, but when I went for the second leg, I lost my balance and fell backward, rolling all the way down the hill. I tried to salvage the situation by a quick pop up, arms out like a gymnast sticking the landing. Unfortunately, the can of soda that was still in my hand had gotten punctured shotgun-beer style during the tumble down the hill. So when I popped up arms out, it began spraying me directly in the face.

Oscar de la Garza

One night When I was working at Walmart I was moving a palette of 2% milk, as I was pushing towards the fridge it I failed to notice a small plank of wood. Have you ever been on a skateboard and ran over a small rock? the entire tower of milk stacked about 6 crates high, wide, and deep came crashing down spilling milk everywhere and I had to spend the remainder of my shift laying down baking soda to soak up the milk. I think I wasted probably 175$ worth of milk that night

Quest For Quests

When I was in highschool I worked at the local movie theater. Whenever the popcorn machines ran out of cooking oil we had to carry these giant cardboard boxes that had a bladder of oil in them to hook up under the machine. One time I was setting up for the opening shift and when I went to attach the hose the nozzle was faulty and I proceeded to dump about 20 lbs worth of popcorn cooking oil down my pants. I wish I reacted sooner but honestly I was so surprised I didnt react until most of the bag of oil soaked through my cheap theater uniform. I went to the back room to attempt to clean up, and discovered my entire left pocket was filled to the brim, my phone resting in a pool of amber oil. For months after the speaker on my phone sounded like it was under water which was honestly kind of cool. What wasnt cool is that I had to work the rest of my opening shift with my entire bottom half, shoes, and socks coated in a sheen of popcorn oil. My manager didnt let me go home to clean up and didnt offer me a replacement uniform.

Soggy Mike

I was working at a cat shelter over the pandemic to try and make some cash. We would refill the cat's water bowls with watering cans for convenience. Once as I was trying to fill the water of a group of particularly active kittens one of them ended up jumping up onto my chest, causing me to panic and drop the watering can, spilling water all over the kittens. At first, I was mortified, but I ended up having to towel dry all of them so somewhat of a win.

Sarah Hammer

When I was in high school, I was removing a bacon pan from the oven and got distracted when my dog came into the kitchen. Because of that, I did not catch myself tipping the bacon pan to one corner. I ended up spilling hot bacon grease all over my left foot. It melted the flip flop I had on and I had to go to the hospital. (Not a beverage, but still a spill!)

Richard Robertson

Alright, Stephanie here: So when I met my ex in person for the first time (we started online in 2010 before dating apps became a thing). I was literally thinking ‘okay don’t spill and make a fool of yourself’ as I poured him some soda. Poured the soda just fine and got too damn cocky. I decided to bar tender style slide his drink across the table and when it stopped, the ricochet cause a notable amount to spill out and we had a good laugh after the stunned silence wore off 😅😅😅

wasabibagel

While working at pasta shop: we made our own alfredo sauce it took over 6 hours to make a batch(most of time spent in a double boiler) right after whisking in the last of the fresh-grated parmesan ( I tiresome process on your forearms) my grip was too weak and I dumped a 2 gallon pot all over the back of the prep kitchen. $130 of product and and 20 minutes of vigorous whisking wasted. Thankfully only little splashed on my jeans and no was injured. I squeegied it into a dustpan then mopped.

Arrow Ace

I worked at a specialty loose leaf tea shop and was making someone an iced tea (hot tea, concentrated, rock sugar in the water, dilute over ice) but I didn't realize that I had my pinky on the mechanism that drains the liquid out of the tea maker, leaving the leaves and undissolved sugar behind. I poured 200°F water all over my arm and had to clean up a mess then spend half an hour with my arm in a plastic bag stuffed in our ice maker to prevent more than minor burns. Hurt like a bitch

Cole Cypher

Nothing to special in class one time my buddy went to grab my water bottle onetime and knocked it over it spilled on the desk so I cleaned it with my shirt then he purposely splashed me so I said fuck it and poured some on me and flicked the rest on him we laughed about it and were soaking wet the teacher wasn't happy lmao

Jessica Ly

My friend brought her new boyfriend to my grad party, and he was nervous about making a good impression. Unfortunately, he did a nat 1 dex moment and dropped a full glass bottle of sweet chili sauce. As it shattered on my kitchen floor, so did his heart. He dropped to his knees in front of the wreckage, speechless as his face grew red. My friend simply said, “what the fuck John, that was for the rolls”. They aren’t together now.

Oskar Koernig

When I was young I used to forget I was holding a glass and drop it while watching TV. I didn't graduate from plastic cups until I was like 14 😭😭😭

Navar Keelan

Won an awards comp. Whole team and myself were flown to Sydney (our Capitol in Aus). It was a black tie event where they hired out a whole amusement park. Would have been one of the first people in the line. Inside were the big, big executives. CEO's, big bosses etc. Behind me were a few hundred people teams from all over Australia and beyond. They had a row of people with Drinks on trays, food etc. Again big black tie event. Big deal. I walked up. Jokingly said to a team mate "might start with Two champagnes, hey?". Get greedy. Go to grab two. They start knocking into each other falling like dominoes in this dauting cacophony of glasses smashing over each other. The world is silent. The champagne is cascading over the sides of the tray, I look helpless to the waitress , she looks at me. I stare behind me. A line of hundred in black tie staring at me, forward a daunting array of big wigs. I take a non broken glass and go hide in a corner for the rest if my life.

Nathan Mills

I went in for my first post-quarantine job interview and dumped a glass of water all over the carpet within the first 5 minutes. Still got the job though!

Moonlit Ghost

Not my story but my sisters. She was carrying a blue icee and talking to my mom and next thing I know she walks face first into a sign and the drink explodes everywhere

Camden Griffith

Player knocked over 32 oz stein of beer onto wet erase grid map that I spent an hour drawing in preparation for the session... We were 2 rounds into the first planned combat.

Kings

I moved back home to Scotland after 10+ years of living down in England and decided to get a job at a restaurant I had been going to since I was a kid. As a result of this a lot of people I ended up serving were people that knew me and my family. After getting comfortable handling large serving trays and carrying lots of drinks at a time I felt pretty confident in doing so. Boy was I wrong. I walked a couple of pints and glasses of wine to a table outside and when I got there, before I even served the table, they recognised me and were asking after my family. We spent a few minutes chatting and all the while I kept hold of the tray. As I said something about having to get back to work I started serving the table their drinks. I miscalculated my steadiness and ended up tripping towards the table with the final drink in my hand. Lo and behold I ended up spilling an entire pint onto the customer and we all looked at each other in stunned silence for a few painful seconds. I awkwardly attempted to clean up the customer, who I had soaked completely, and then had to run back inside to get them a brand new set of drinks, all the while being lambasted with jokes about it. To this day I can’t sleep without the incident flashing before my eyes. Please bring me absolution in the eyes of the Spill-Tzar

Kaitlyn

Omg i hope I am not too late. I was waitressing a brunch shift a few years ago. The main dining room was reserved for a party of about 25 people who were ages like.. 60-80. At this point I had been waitressing for years, never spilt a thing, that is until this dark day. I was even working this party I was just helping bring out a stupid salad. The stupid salad had a side of the absolute thickest most viscus balsamic you’ve ever seen. As a leaned over to place the salad in front of the elderly woman with short grey hair, the side of dressing toppled off the plate and onto her fUcking head. Ten minutes later my hands were still shaking from the incident and I spilt to glasses of sangria all over myself.

Val A.

Over the past year and a half, I have spilled something on every pair of lighter pants I wear. Whether it be drinks at a dinner (non-alcoholic) or drinks at hang outs (alcoholic), on the pants it goes. It even started happening while I’m washing hands, I will get water all over those babies. Sometimes it happens with food, but mostly beverages. I’m a fairly dexterous person, so this development is a shock, but it’s also funny if slightly expensive. Most of the drinks I spill are drinks I hadn’t started yet. A true tragedy.

Shawn Murray

I had a desktop that I kept beverages away from, well my friend called me one time and I had a coke on a TV tray and he was telling me about how rude his work was to him which I was like, “that’s so stupid I’ll fight them.” But I had moved my arm in a motion that hit my drink and caused it to fly across the room and it landed directly on my desktop ruining it. Back then it was upsetting but I find it funny now.

sad rad

A friend once dropped and shattered a whole unopened bottle of red wine in the lobby of my university dorm. She didn’t remember it in the morning. She also broke her ankle that night.

Eric G

I was 10 years old and my family drove down to the local Dairy Queen for a treat. We all ordered our ice cream, and I ordered a chocolate chip cookie dough blizzard. If you don't know, Dairy Queen does this thing where they turn your blizzard upside down for a second to show that it isn't watered down. The employee came out with my family's desserts and my blizzard. She turned the blizzard upsidedown and over my head to show that it wouldn't fall. Immediately the blizzard fell out of the cup right over my head and covered me in iceream. I was drenched in cookie dough blizzard and the employees gave me a trash bag they punched leg holes in to wear in the car so I didn't ruin the car seats while going home.

Kevin McCool

I used to wait tables and we'd have something called a "Wine Dinner" once a month where a hundred or so people would come in and have a 5 course meal accompanied by different types of wine in each course. One wine dinner we were serving sangrias as soon as the guests sat down, so I had a tray of 16 sangrias that I was holding in the middle of the restaurant as the guests started filing in the door. I took my eye off the prize for a split second and one of those bad boys started to tip. Thinking quickly, I thought I could tilt the entire tray in the opposite direction to get that one glass back to standing. Obviously, this caused all 16 dark purple sangrias to crash to the floor and go everywhere, coating my all white uniform in the process. We had to ask all of the guests to go back outside and wait while we cleaned up.....

Genna

I worked in a panera bread and we brewed our iced coffee in large batches. I was once carrying a large (20 Liters or roughly 5 gallons) container of iced coffee to refill the dispenser, and as you could imagine these containers are quite heavy. I am a relatively small person and I slipped on a small puddle while focusing on carrying the heavy container and managed to tip it over onto myself before dropping it, rendering myself soaked in coffee, in a large puddle of it, and the container cracked and ruined.

Samantha Jo Hall

The year is 2012. I'm 15 and in the car with my then-crush (now husband! 😊). We're friends, and I'm crushing hard on him. He's driving the two of us to a scout meeting, and he says he's going to get gas and asks if I want anything. I say no thank you, and he goes in and comes out with a truly gigantic slushy. Since his car is a manual and doesn't have cupholders, he asks if I can hold the slushy while we drive until we get to our destination. I agree and take it from him. As soon as he lets go and it's solely in my hands, it slips from my grasp and falls into my lap and then onto the floorboard of the car. Bright green slushy goes EVERYWHERE. We can't even go to the meeting because both of us were covered in sticky slush! He drove me home and I was absolutely devastated. But it worked out in the end, as we got married last year 🥰 Sometimes spills have happy endings!

DJ Campbell

How I meet my fiance/baby momma. I was in a long relationship and ended badly I wasn't ready or looking for anything. My friends wanted to go to a bar in Crittsburg but I didn't and I some how ended up going. We went when it was under 21 night so people 21 and over drinks half off I was sitting and I see her with her bright red hair and was smitten. My friend told me to go talk I was saying no but he kept on and I said sure. I had my beer in my hand and was walking towards her, I'm 5 feet in front of her and trip over my feet(nat 1) spilled beer all over myself was embarrassed and I got up started to walk away that's when I hear her say you came all this way you're not gonna say hi. I turned around and said well I wasn't sure how well I'd recover from that fall...(nat 20) we started talking and 8 years later engaged with a 6 year old girl and can't be happier

Bella Poore-Furolo

A few years ago I was broadcasting a national roller derby tournament, and it was super early in the morning so I offered to run and grab coffee for the crew. Well I ended up picking up 30+ coffees and teas, and I stacked them all on the roof of the car to get the keys out, and then took off with all the drinks still on top of the car. Obviously, they didn’t stay on top of the car for long, and I had to sit in my little car and watch miserably as the hot drinks dripped down the sides of the car, fearful that if I got out I would be drenched in the hot milky liquid. I had to go back to the coffee shop, reorder my 30+ drinks with deep shame, and then had to drive my sticky milk car back to the venue. Worst part was I was meant to be running the whole weekend and instead of people introducing me as the producer, I got “this is Bella, she’s the one who had the coffee incident”.

Phlemily

I was carpooling to work. It was early. I was drinking hot tea in the passenger seat. Fell asleep. Poured hot tea onto my lap.

Dylan Irish

I paint cars for a living and one time, while mixing up a cup of paint, I turned to put one of the toners back on the shelf and grab the next one I needed and my elbow bumped the cup of nearly finished paint off of the scale and onto the ground. As I turned to look and watch it fall, it landed perfectly on the ground, causing it to implode the paint directly upward in an act of physics that I don’t quite understand, and perfectly splatter across my face. I proceeded to blindly hobble my way to the far end of the shop(200ft) to the sink where I tried to get paint out of my eyes. On top of the burning, that cup of paint was worth about 200 dollars.

Isabelle Yourick

Picture a busy dim sum restaurant in Washington, DC, the Nation's Capital. I'm with my friend Ben ahead of a museum visit and a movie. The waiter puts our waters down on the table and I promptly knocked it over causing it to spill over onto the floor. Or so I thought...It actually 100%, fully spilled into my own purse which was sitting on the ground. I had to pour my purse out onto a plate and air all my items out on our crowded table.

Will

The first time I ever heard the F-word was when, at the tender age of nine, I spilled a big gulp cup of Hawaiian Punch into my mom's laptop bag.

Trevor Thomas

I spilled my first alcoholic beverage on New Years Eve and then my 2 friends and I slurped it off the table and licked it clean. As true, young alcoholics do.

Shannon Blair

I used to be so clumsy that once as a tender 18 year old college freshman, I spilled an entire glass measuring cup of milk while cooking with my very hot older roommate. I had been crushing for weeks and trying to be cool. He said, "sorry, it's my fault. I should have known by now not to trust you with this stuff." Heartbreaking.

Kara

I come to you all with a wholesome spill story. My friend and I teach in an elementary school, and I would like to share his spill story. He was teaching a grade 3 class and noticed one of his students had a bathroom accident during lunch. He quickly grabbed the student’s juice and “accidentally” spilt it on the student’s lap and said “Oh no! I’m so sorry! You better go to the office and get new clothes.” The student was very appreciative. 😊

Darrin Rooney

This is a spill story I am razzed about to this day. 20 years ago I was a firefighter for my town. Every January we had a business meeting/banquet with city officials. One year I was seated at the end of a table. We were seated with our spouses, and everyone ordered drinks. When they were delivered, they came to my end. When they were serving them to is the server spilled a tray of beers and drinks on the he table. It not only went into the laps of those seared at my end of the table, but soaked the table cloth and the cloth napkins. The young man was very embarrassed but we spoke up and laughed about it. Made him feel better. The mayor even made light of it in his speech. A spill story remembered today.

R B

1. I recently spilled so much curry down myself at work I had to slink off to the leftovers rack from a recent clothes swap and steal a jumper from there for the rest of the day

Miss Ter Cole

I was once VERY drunk and my friends had decided to plant me on one end of the couch with some grape soda (the closest non-booze on hand) while one of them sat on the other end of the couch (pretty much to baby sit me). As I was sitting there holding the grape soda, I look at them very seriously and say how cool it is they're letting me drink anything without a lid, cause no one in my family ever lets me do that. As my friend that is sharing the couch with me starts to say how as long as I don't somehow reach over and spill it on them, it's fine, I randomly flailed in joy and threw the cup and spilled the entire tumbler of soda in his lap. It's been about 15 years, and I still don't remember actually throwing it. One second it was in my hand, next second they're sitting there...stunned. Whoops.

R B

2. A vintage spill. At uni, a friend spilled red wine all over my carpet. We knew that rinsing it with white wine was the recommended treatment. Being students we had no white wine to spare. An optimistic friend decided pouring Smirnoff ice over the stain would probably have the same effect. It didnt

Connor Noonan

Playing beer pong with my mates, I was in the lead by 3 cups. Upon hitting my forth cup, I celebrated with a lil dance, moves mixed with the moonwalk and an Irish jig. These moves cause me to spill 1 of my untouched cups, beer all over the ground and also caused me to slip, landing on my right ankle, HARD! Later that night my ankle was the size of a tennis ball. Lesson learned, don’t dance and beer pong at the same time

Molly Gould

I would hypothesize that at least 1/3 of the times I eat out at restaurants with my sister Olivia, I end up spilling on myself. She thinks I’m extremely clumsy but I think she’s just a bad luck totem when it comes to spills. During one dinner at a ramen place I was messing around with a fidget spinner, and she was freaking out about how I was going to knock something over. I was very indignant and refused, stating I was in control to prove a point. And I was right! Eventually I put the fidget spinner away and dinner went on. Until I happened to spill my drink all over the table! I don’t even know how it happened! I think she manifested the spill. She brings it up as if she’s proving a point that I shouldn’t have had the fidget spinner out at the dinner table, but we both know it wasn’t the fidget spinner. I am just a spill magnet.

Becca_rebaker

I once spilt a whole, unopened jar of molasses. It was in a glass jar that shattered all over the kitchen floor. Trying to clean it up was an absolute joke. I've been someone who spills all my life. My families joke when I do anything clumsy is "oops I spilled" because apparently when I was very little I would just say that deadpan and walk away. 🤣

Jillian M

I was in the Netherlands, and I was walking up the stairs of a 2-storey food cafeteria in a department store. I had an entire tray of food in front of me, including a hot tomato bisque, a sandwich, and a beverage. I was so focused on keeping everything from shifting on the tray and falling off, that I tripped up the stairs and spilled everything over several steps, my pant legs, and my shoes. I swear every conversation in the cafeteria screeched to a halt and everyone stared at me, but no one so much as offered me a napkin. I still had to bike home after all of this too.

Benwahah

I once placed my drink on the flat part of my dads boat. So i could push the boat away from the dock i did not realize the boat was still tied to the dock so i ran to get it unhooked. Tripped on my own foot and fell off into the water. I reacted quickly enough to grab onto the rope tied to the dock and boat. And To avoid touching the water as it was the end of summer and the water was cold. As i was trying to pull myself back up. I ended up just pulling the boat back bumbping into me, only to feel something dripping on my head. To realised it was my drink that had spilled. So in defeat i dropped myself into the water.

Dominic Stacey

About 10 years ago I worked at McDonald's and I was in charge of cooking the food. On night shifts I got to clean the grill, which included the 6 grease traps on the top. The process was getting a cardboard box, putting a trash bag inside it that never quite wanted to stay on the corners of the box, and then getting this grease and the giant grease pits on the sides of the grill emptied into the bag. Sometimes I'd spill here but this one night was really bad/sad. After picking up the cardboard box and getting it within several feet of the dumpster the bootom of the box collapsed and the bag splattered all over the ground outside. My work shoes were ruined and I got to wear them for another hour for my shift to end. And I had to pick up the mess

Nova

I’m sure the ones have already been picked but this one is just extra for Caldwell if he sees it. I was in college and got up early to get Starbucks before life drawing so I had my giant ass clipboard, portfolio and 18x24 inch drawing paper. Got my order on campus in the college library. Set my cup down on my art supply box and it was further off the counter than I realized and the whole coffee ended up on my crappy paper drawing portfolio and drawing pad and the floor. Felt REALLY bad cause the Starbucks was SO busy. I couldn’t get the baristas attention and was trying to sop it up with napkins. Happy spill’s everyone!!!

Ryan Kelch

In highschool as was at a friend's house with a couple people. His mom made milkshakes and brought us the pitcher and some empty cups. I was the first to try and pour myself one. I gave it one tip and noticed it would stick to the bottom but then all come at once. I stopped pouring and warned my friends, only to spill the whole pitcher on my next try.

Deadstar1146

Fairly recently was playing with a group of my friends and I did a secret drinking game with my group but only the Dm drank (im the dm) and everytime they did something funny or stupid I'd take a shot I was almost drunk enough that I almost dropped the bottle

Franklin Villarreal

Ok, mixed bag lads and lady, our tale begins in a Las Vegas club at an on stage table while the warm up DJ was playing. I'm not really, the club going type, but a friend invited me to the club and I liked the main act, so I went out. Some weird guy none of us had met, but somehow had access the the VIP tables came over and plopped down next to us. He was wearing a suit that looked like it was out of Scarface, with a full white jacket. He started drinking from our bottle and said it was ok and he was so happy to see us. We were peeved, but decided just to ignore him. What we didn't see was that he was throwing up an incredible amount of OJ and vodka into a pitcher at the table. Eventually he collapsed, knocking the pitcher over and covering himself and the carpet in the orange mess. The staff moved us and spent the rest of the night in hazard suits cleaning up the mess. I have no idea what he was on, but I still think about the spill so bad the staff wore hazard suits.

Eden A

A friend hosted a pre-game party at his house and we were kinda drunk. At some point somebody brought a red wine bottle but we didn't have a way to open it. I tried to MacGyver it and use a knife to stab the cork and pull it free. Next thing I know I pushed the cork in too hard and sprayed red wine all over my friends, the wall and the ceiling. It required a lot of paint to cover up the stains it made...

Alisa H

At work I accidentally spilled a vial of reagent that cost $1000 😬

Ergon Heartfil

I was laying on a couch with my fiancé, head in her lap while she was holding a glass of wine, and out of nowhere my uncle came and flicked my forehead. I sat up so fast that I ended up head butting my fiancé’s wine up out of her hand and had it spill all over my face and her lap.

Pavel Lishin

This isn't a beverage per se, but in college I managed to spill BBQ sauce into my open computer case, and my friends razz me about it to this day. As they should. At some point, I also spilled milk in there. I do not know how my computer still runs.

Julia Waldron

When I flew back from England during my freshman year of college, I was so jet-lagged I thought I was going to fall asleep standing up, but I had to catch a bus from Boston up to New Hampshire. So I got myself the largest iced coffee I could get at Dunkin’ Donuts (plus, it had been a while since I had had some good old Dunkin’ after being in England.) While I was standing waiting for the bus, I had my iced coffee, which I had only had approx. 4 sips of, sitting on my suitcase. Because I’m a clumsy motherfucker, I happened to trip on nothing while I was standing, and I knocked into my suitcase, spilling almost my entire iced coffee. And like the cruel gods themselves were watching, this is exactly when my bus arrives. No new coffee. Only pure sadness

Gabe the Dice Smith

I had just been gifted a laptop by my husband for Christmas. Two days later I spilled a beer all over it. I hadn't even drank any beer - I just wasted a beer and broke the keyboard on the laptop.

Zalyni

I once spilled a full glass of water all over my keyboard and desk while on a livestream. The spill was clipped, made into video and audio memes by friends, and now lives forever on the internet.

Palmate Antlers

My buddies and I are at a college football game in the Texas heat, and our friend Colin goes to the concession stand to get a large Gatorade for around ~$20 (which is like $100 to a college kid) but he’s dying of thirst. He gets back to our seats after 30 minutes and a touchdown drive he didn’t get to see. Sets his drink down and it spills forward INTO the girls purse in front of us and all over their shoes/boots. He didn’t even get to take a single sip.

Jen Smells Peaches

A couple of years ago, I made myself a batch of French press coffee in my kitchen, lovingly added almond milk and sweetener, and carried the steaming hot, 20 oz cup back to the office I shared with my husband. The moment I stepped through the door, the cup slipped from my hands and THE ENTIRE THING poured into hubby's open, expensive laptop. I know it's not actually possible, but in my memory, every single drop of the coffee went straight into the laptop. It bricked. We recovered the hard drive, and that's it. We wrote an article about it called "The $2,000 cup of coffee", if you're interested: https://www.minionware.net/2000-cup-coffee/

Jen Smells Peaches

You should read my coffee story, below. It'll make you feel better. (The laptop was bricked, but we were able to recover the hard drive separately.)

Patrick Schiller

My friend kept spilling water at my 21st birthday leading to the waitress calling him “Spilly guy” a nickname that lives on to this day. I did get close to blackout drunk that night and after calling him Spilly guy constantly he poured water on my head as I died in my backyard, the bastard

Juhmes(Jums)

I am a notorious spiller among my friends. I am not necessarily a clumsy person as much as I have an uncanny lack of awareness of my surroundings. My most expense spills are due to the fact that I have a favourite gaming keyboard which I had to buy 3 different times as I spilt pints of water / diet coke on them. The 2nd one was totaled less than day after I'd bought it and I had to go into the same store to talk to the same cashier to buy another. Otherwise memorable was in the same evening I spilt a litre bottle of banana milkshake on my roommates carpet during movie night, cleaned it up then spilt a prawn cocktail right beside the first 30 minutes later.

reading list

18 years old, I was one of the folks who wasn't leaving provinces for some fancy university after graduation, and during the big going-away bash for everyone else I, a *little drunk*, fell down the bottom half of a spiral banister staircase holding three margaritas (one in each hand, the third pinched between the first two). I somehow landed on my knees and didn't spill a drop. Everyone cheered. I triumphantly strutted toward the patio door and stubbed my toe on a chair, and fell and spilled all three drinks across the freshly re-felted pool table. House was owned by rich people who lived on a golf course so I shouldn't feel *that bad,* but I also probably shouldn't have drank a bottle of baby duck champagne to myself earlier that night either.

ananarama

It’s more of a weekly occurrence rather than a story but my fiancé is nice enough to bring me coffee in bed every morning while I’m trying to enter the world of the living and without fail (at least once a week) I will grab the mug wrong or fall asleep with it in my hand, covering myself and my side of the bed in hot coffee 😅 thankfully it’s never been hot enough to burn me but if y’all have recommendations for how to get out coffee stains that would be great

Zack

My sister had a graduation party that was catered by chipotle. We had one of those old garage fridges and that’s where the leftover chipotle salsa was kept. Like a monstrous little high school goblin I took the massive salsa container out of the fridge, ran up the newly carpeted stairs with it in one hand, made it to the very top step, and it slipped out of my grasp, crashing down the stairs behind me. It looked like a tomato murder scene. Salsa splashed all over the walls and again the newly installed carpet. Smelled like salsa for a month. My mom cried because I ruined the carpet. I cried because I wasted the salsa.

Freen

I was hanging out with a group of friends. I was holding my coffee cup, got distracted, forgot I even had the cup and spilled it on my friends dress. I went to get another cup sat down and the guy next to me was telling a very lively story waving his hands around ending up slapping my cup, knocking it down on my lap. I got another coffee, returned to the bench we were sitting on and balanced the cup on my knee. As I turned around to tell my friend not to knock my coffee over again I ended up spilling the coffee on myself.

prettyfaroutman

Just a couple weeks ago, I was relistening to the Bahumia campaign with my partner because it's his first time through. I was drinking a can of sparkling water and foolishly assumed that because I'd heard the episode already I wasn't in danger of getting caught off guard. Sure enough, as I was taking a drink a funny line caught me off guard - I can't remember which one it was, but it was definitely a classic Hardwon himbo line - and I did a spit take *into* the can. It ricocheted off the top of the can up my nose, all over my face and shirt, and even over the top of my head so I was drenched in it. Plus I was still laughing at the line as it went up my nose. So thanks Jake! 😆

Dinadan G

Back in college, my roommate was sitting in an arm chair beside the couch that I was on. He was playing video games while I watched him under the warmth of a blanket. I had a Dr. Pepper resting on the arm of the couch, and for one reason or another thought I could grab the can while under the blanket. I outstretched my hands, fully confident that the loose material would simply wrap around the can. Unfortunately, that's not how cans and blankets work. The next thing I hear, is my roommate saying my name in a tone that contained only one emotion... Disappointment.

Jess

For years I have mocked my mother for spilling coffee on herself while traveling. It does not matter the travel mug or where the to-go cup is from. It will always leak or spill on her. I am sad to say this curse has now passed on to me and all of my cups now leak when traveling. If you need a good curse of inconvenience, have someone dribble coffee on their shirt each time they're in the car for more than an hour.

Armando Ocampo

Last night I got to excited when the kids came for candy. I got off the couch so quick I spilled my water after razzing my gf for spilling her drink and I hid it from her not even ten mins later I spilled it again and she has been razzing me all morning.

Nick

I got a little tipsy recently and accidentally started my company’s #MeToo movement on Twitter.

reno

once i left a pitcher on the counter with water running for an hour by accident. after hours of cleaning up the flooded kitchen, i carefully refilled the pitcher, made red kool-aid in it, then spilled the entire pitcher while trying to put the lid on. i sat in the kool-aid and cried

Knit Whit

One tume while at a raging frat party in college and I ran out of the beer my friends and I had brought. Instead of flirting with the hot frat boys to get free beer, my dumb ass grabs a half full beer can off the a desk and takes a HUGE drink.... Not only did i get a mouth full of flat, warm Beast (probably 50% backwash). I got a soggy cigarette quartet butt chaser. 🤢🤢🤢 in my rush to stealth the can, I didn't check for traps and got the ash can. I spit/spewed the entire mouthful, butts and all, into some poor frat boy's computer. Needless to say, I grabbed my friends and noped it the fuck onto the next party.

Travis Butcher

I was working at the bowling alley and spilled one of the bags of syrup for the soda fountain machines and to this day, several years later and not having that job, I don't think it's been completely picked up bc it got into so many crannies of the kitchen

Robyn Phelps

I just left a remote job I’ve been with for 4 years, and my boss sent me flowers. (Very sweet lady) While I was trying to show them to her over zoom on my last day, I immediately spilled the entire vase of water from the flowers all over my already aging laptop. Keyboard, trackpad and everything covered in flower water. My boss was in the middle of a very nice speech about how good under pressure I was, so I just had to silently mop it all up with 50 tissues and hope my ancient computer didn’t die in the middle of the call.

Ariana

An older girl drove a friend and i to Wendy’s during a break in practice in her mom’s car. We ended up in a rush trying to leave and as soon as the words “don’t spill anything this is my mom’s car” left her mouth, she peeled out of the parking lot and I lost my grip on the drink holder and all three of our drinks turned the backseat and floor of the car into a sticky pop swimming pool and doused my pants in it. We of course had no time to do a big clean up and threw ice cubes out the window as we drove to get rid of evidence. We had to go back to our figure skating group practice for our holiday show with my pants soaked and covered in pop and I was freezing and sticky the whole evening

Ben

I had just moved away from home for the first time to Raleigh, North Carolina. I was trying to find a job and had been searching for a few weeks and things were getting dire. Despite not being what most would describe as 'bank teller material' I had made it through the first round of interviews for a job at Wells Fargo. So- on morning of my interview at the branch I'd be working in, I got as nicely dressed (aka, white dress shirt... note the color.) as I could and filled up a travel mug of hot coffee. Once I arrived I placed said travel mug on top of my car while I bent in to grab something, and the mug immediately fell, coating my entire back with hot coffee. My house was further away then the time I had left before my interview... I think I tried to soak as much up as I could with whatever napkins I had in my car and proceeded into the worst, shortest, most coffee scented interview of my life.

Bryce Baker

A story from my cousin John H. - also a huge fan. I was working as an intern in a pharma company. I was studying this drug that would cost about $1 million per gram when used for patients. I was concentrating down some for an experiment at the end of a long week. I was collecting the final material in a test tube. My boss walks in and he noticed that I was wearing my watch on my dominant hand that I also happen to be holding the tube. He asks me for the time, and I proceed to spill almost $2 million worth of sample onto my lab coat. I freaked out, but my boss just laughed at me and told me to have a good weekend.

Chelsea L (0ffbeatt)

So in my first week or so of college, my roommate brings me to this dorm room party. I didn't really know my roommate well or the people we were hanging out with so very socially awkward 18 year old me was just following her lead. This party consisted of about 4-6 people sitting in a bedroom, which means not a lot of sitting real estate unless if your all piled onto the bed. I was several sheets to the wind due to a very large bottle of Bacardi Breezer, I leaned back against a desk and I knocked over this dudes giant Bong he had there, breaking it and spilling dank brown water everywhere and onto the carpeted floor. It literally felt like a record scratch moment from a movie when everyone looked at me. Weed wasn't legal yet in Canada and I had never really smoked anything before either, so I was terrified of even being near a bong. The dude insisted that I pay him back, I had no cash on me at the time, and I sure as shit didn't want to come back to this dudes room the next day. I had to drunkly run back up to my dorm room to scrounge for any cash that I had to pay him back without getting caught by any RA's. Luckily I was able to find like 50 bucks in my room, but like I don't even wanna know how mad this guy would have been if I couldn't find anything.

TheTimePig

I bought my puppy into work one day, obviously because he was too cute and I wanted to share the cuteness with my friends. Cue lots of cuddles, licks, maybe one or two excited pees that I had to clean up and one ninja poo (he ran away from me into a room with clients, did the fastest smelliest puppy poop possible and ran back out looking so happy with himself). At which point, he was exhausted and fell asleep. In order to keep an eye on him while I worked, I popped his bed on my desk so that he couldn't escape and he happily closed his eyes. At which point, the betrayal. Someone behind me asked a question, so I turned my head to respond. In that instant my little pooch, jumped up from sleeping position and as I turned back, he'd shoved his entire paw into my water glass and as I vainly tried to pick him up, he knocked the full cup all over my wacom tablet, desktop, keyboard and me. Tail wagging the whole time mind you. Then he had the audacity to lie down in the wet puddle on the desk on his back and ask for belly scritches.

NW

I’m an aunt to three kids under 7 and am essentially primary childcare for them when mom and dad are away… after saving up for ages their mom had gotten their carpets cleaned professionally (no small feat on their tight budget) and the day after Aunt Nat(hi) is scheduled to babysit. Ten minutes in, as we’re all watching a particularly enthralling episode of paw patrol, I swing my leg out and spill my large black coffee all over the floor. No amount of steam cleaning would get it out???? Niece narcs on me mere minutes after their mom gets home. She is naturally very disappointed - in me. The adult. Two days later I’m babysitting again. This time I’ve got my coffee on the coffee table - safe bet, right? No, of course not. Massive spill. Yet again I have the soul-sucking task of explaining to their mom that it was their 28 year old aunt who re-ruined the carpet. This was followed by the most forlorn sigh I’ve ever heard escape her lips and a desperate plea to never have open liquids in the living room again. The next time I babysit there’s a to-go mug sitting on the counter with my name on it.

Talia

I can't read this thread, too much second hand embarrassment XD

Marleigh Flowers

i work at a large brewery as a server and as this has a large outdoor beer garden and my record for running beers was 12 on the tray and one in the hand, i have spilled my fair share of liquids up and down that place. but my worst spill was not of liquid but of glassware. my first month i was pushing a cart of clean glassware back to the bar. for context each glassware rack was about 30 glasses and this rack was stacked like 10 high so like 300 glasses im pushing. anyway im in a rush and push this overloaded stack right into the dip of a drain in the middle of the kitchen and the entire thing goes flying. the sound alone was one of the most beautiful things ive ever encounted but i nearly walked out right then and there and never returned 😂 only like 50 of the glasses broke luckily and i eventually lived it down and have been there for like 4 years at this point so i guess it wasnt too bad in the end. But i was definitely off glassware duty for a while

Ryan Schuster

Got a refillable bucket of popcorn at a hockey game. Walking back to my seat stumbled on the step and spilled the entire bucket all over the steps. Everyone kept telling me it was refillable but I had to sit in my shame for a while before going to get more

Bodds

TLDR: Knocked a cup of soda off the 2nd floor of a mall and it landed on an old lady dressed in her Sunday's best. When I was in middle school, my friends and I were being mallrats. In between games of laser tag through JC Penny (it was BYO-LT - recommend it highly), we got some drinks and snacks. We raced to see who could snag a seat on the nearby bench. Luckily I snagged a seat, precariously placing my beverage in the corner of the bench. As the rest of the gaggle of tweens (beware Third Mates!) arrived, one of my friends delivered a forcible elbow to my soda and it was launched off the edge. Time slowed to a crawl, and although it's been 20+ years, I can still remember leaning over the edge of the railing and seeing the beverage flipping end over end in a star-crossed trajectory towards an ambling elderly lady in her Sunday best. The woman was adorned in a beautiful yellow dress topped with a matching hat. Once the payload was delivered, we gawked, mouth agape for a moment, then did the only courageous thing a group of 12 year olds know how to do - run like hell. We all managed to escape without being caught. We still debate who was at fault for the crime and feel bad for not apologizing. Hopefully she's a listener - we're sorry.

becks b

I dropped a full 2L tub of olives at work in the junction between the kitchen, bathroom and front part of the store. Even after cleaning it up every time anyone stepped on the junction between the 2 types of flooring, more oil would squeeze out and I had to spend the entire day in 2 sizes too large flip flops because I got oil all over my shoes🙃

Amanda Mantchev

Once when I was in high school after volleyball practice, I was making one of the prepackaged Kraft mac and cheese. Trying to rip open the cheese packet I ended up doing so too forcefully and cheese ended up all over my face and chest. I had to take a full shower to clean up. My friends still make fun of me about today. :)

John Niska

I was at a rooftop bar pouring a beer from a pitcher, with flawless execution (perfect head, etc.) and I told my friend look at that pour. As I was putting the pitcher back on the table, I caught the edge of the table just right and dumped half the pitcher onto my (then) light khaki cargo shorts and sat in my mistake for the rest of the afternoon. Luckily the sun helped dry my shame but the damage to my ego is with me to this day.

katytron

once when i was a a kid, i think around ten or eleven, i was given the immense honour of ferrying a six pack of cold beer from the fridge to the eskie (eskie is an australian/NZ slang term for 'cooler') during a party my parents were hosting at our house. i fumbled and dropped the lot. each bottle broke, distributing glass shard-tainted beer all throughout the kitchen floor. i'm in my 30s now and i still think about it every time i'm handling a six pack.

NotAFrog

One time I spilled a red slushy all over my white shirt at a movie. I was there on a date. There was no second date.

Wreck-It-Rosie

Once my brother and I were driving to comic con and stopped to get snacks on the way. I got chocolate milk. Since chocolate milk can separate I decided to shake it before I drank any. I just forgot that I had already removed the cap and ended up getting chocolate milk all over my brother.

Sean Noronha

Not a drink story, unless you’re into that, but still involves fumbling a bottle of liquid. I work in a warehouse with 3rd party delivery drivers. To save on time the drives will sometimes just pee in bottles in the back of their truck . While I was cleaning up one day, I saw a bottle and went to throw it in the dumpster. Part of this may be my fault, because we have a large open cover dumpster, I like to football throw a lot of things in there, as one should. HOWEVER, to my horror, the lid was not entirely screwed onto the bottle,and as I threw it, piss splashed all over me. I had to essentially strip naked in the bathroom and try to wash my self in the sink, then had to wear oversized extra uniforms we had in the back.

Kenna L

I was with all my friends at some big box office movie. At a convenient Iull in the plot I decided this was my one chance to pee and not miss anything. I speed walked down the stairs, and attempted a courteous crunched over run through the larger front isle of theatre that divides the main seating from the lower down pit seating no one wants. You know what I mean. During my bent over sprint I booted someone’s extra large popcorn so hard and so high into the air it rained down over many rows and audible gasps were heard. I did not stop running and did not return to the theatre…

Emily H

My mum is an Accident & Emergency nurse (ER) here in the UK, so I spent a lot of time there as a kid waiting for her to finish work (single mum, hospital close to school). One day when I was about 10 years old, I was just wandering around and popped to the toilet. Saw this strange thing high up on the windowsill in a single private cubicle. Intrigued, I stood on the toilet seat, and reached up to see what it was. Cue me spilling a stangers piss all down myself, because it was a urine bottle someone had left in there 👍 I'd never seen one before and didn't know that's what it was... childish curiosity in a hospital is a dangerous thing. And if you read this, I can't believe my 5 minutes of fame will be a story of my pouring a stranger's fetid piss on myself...

Gurl Luigi

Late to the party but; I chucked a full, un-eaten, piping hot, bowl of lentil soup at my best-friend's lap at a Greek restaurant after a night of cavorting. And when I say chucked, I mean the bowl went airborne. I have no idea how I managed it and my friend still brings up this epic spill story when I'm being klutzy.

Isaiah Soule

Once my grandfather was walking down a hill to a cookout with a beer in one hand and an entire cooler under the other arm. On his way down the hill he slipped on a mushroom and went tumbling down. The contents of the cooler went flying and we’re all but salvageable, however he managed to land at the bottom of the hill beer in hand without spilling a drop of the actual beer. (Please not that the contents of the cooler did spill and thus this still counts as a ‘spill’ story)

Logan Nygaard

When I was a kid my brother and I were making root beer shakes and he told me to go grab a can of root beer from the other room. At this point the only canned beverage I really had was V8 so I thought I had to shake the can before you opened it. I was super pumped for these shakes so I ran back into the kitchen shaking the can of root beer and of course I fell. The can dropped fully loaded and exploded all over our all-white kitchen. Every inch had root beer on it and my parents ended up having to paint to fully get rid of it. The worst part is there is a stain on one part of the kitchen ceiling that has blead through four or five paint jobs. It's still there to this day.

Evelina Meiklejohn

Back in college, my friend and I went to Noodles and Company to grab dinner. It was fairly packed, so we ordered and I made a beeline for one of the few remaining tables. My friend had grabbed a giant glass of water before following me. Somehow, in the blink of an eye, they managed to trip, throw the chair they were meaning to sit down in, and dump the entire glass of water on their own head. Everyone in the restaurant applauded. Still one of the funniest moments that we continue to joke about. :)

Nick Booty

I work at a popular holiday destination in England, specifically behind the bar, so I have a few. For example, I was carrying a tray of pints out to the way in the back corner table and on literally the last step of my journey I managed to jerk the tray and spilled two whole pints down myself. Maybe an hour into my 8 hour shift.

Kassandra Cooper

A long time ago, I actually left the house and did things with various groups of friends. I've never been super graceful, but the friends I played D&D and V:tM with brought out the worst of my klutziness. Keep in mind, I don't think I ever drank alcohol at their house. I spilled so many beverages on their furniture that they gave me my very own sippy cup, which I promptly dropped as soon as it contained liquid. One particularly icy night, my body took a spill. We were outside having a smoke, and I slid backwards, landing with my lower back on the step leading into their house. We were playing D&D that night, and I kept dropping my dice and insisting I pick them up myself, which was quite an undertaking, given my injury. The DM and host took pity on me and killed my character so I could retreat to their bed with a heating pad and ibuprofen. Thank goodness for youth...my 19-year-old body recovered in a couple of days, no doctors required.

Jack Broadhead

I work in Film & TV in art dept. - Normally Standby Prop is my job & I spilt a beer made of apple juice & lemonade over a massive celebrity & then while the first AD was screaming at me & the director giving me a dress down I passed out in the hallway & has to hang out with the medic for a while, the art dept. defended me and all was chill but I dont think I've ever been as shaken as the moment the screams started.

BrokenBouquet

I had recently gotten a new keyboard for my computer, it's a nice corsair mechanical one, and I had a bottle of mtn dew open next to it and was using a game controller plugged into my computer, the cable knocked my soda onto my new keyboard and made the volume roller thing on it no longer work. The keys are still sticky even after disassembling and cleaning it

Magestain

My first serving job was at a breakfast joint when I was 16. There was a family of 8 that would come in every Sunday that we called the Brady Bunch. On the first day out of training, I spilled eight full glasses of water on the head of the youngest girl. That's it.

Chelsea (Jennie) Deaner

I used giant Nalgene water bottles with the attached screw cap that I would fill up with a DIY potion of healing (water + powders). Sometimes the powder wouldn’t mix and would settle on the bottom, so if shake it up before taking a drink. I would often forget that cap wasn’t screwed on and would shake it up right into my face. Like 12 full ounces straight at me. I did this approx 3 times/week for two years until I finally switched to baby proof water bottles.

Trevor Thistle

While serving at a restaurant a father ordered a 22oz draft beer. As I delivered it it began to tip on my tray. Now spilling a beer in the dining room isn't the end of the world, right? Embarassing? Sure, time consuming, of course. The problem was this family (rather irresponsibly) had their infant baby in a car seat on the floor beside the table. I spilled an entire 22oz draft directly on their baby. For the next 5 years until I quit anytime someone spilled something inevitably someone said "well at least you didn't pour a beer on a fucking baby"

Lindsay

A friend scored us sears at an Austin City Limits taping for the Killers. Before the show there was a self serve table full of solo cups of beer. Only recently of drinking age at the time, we went at it with naïveté and gusto. We were allowed to take a drink in to the taping, and took our places in the stadium style seating. Right in the middle of Somebody Told Me, my beer managed to slip out of my hand and somehow landed flat and upright in front of me. Unfortunately, it also blossomed a mushroom cloud of beer that washed all over the woman in front of me. Since they were taping, we were both trapped there, me in silent shame and her periodically turning around and murdering me with her eyes.

Julie Penn

Back in college I worked at the Student Wellness Center where they provided a bunch of services including sex ed. I was opening a box of mostly exploded lube packets and putting them in a “grab and go” container. Because they were “lubed up”and slippery I dropped a bunch of them. When I went to clean it up I slipped and fell into the mess of lube. I tried to wash it off but didn’t want to look like I wet my pants so eventually I just went to class with lube on my pants. When lube dries it looks like dried cum so for half of the day I walked around with white stains on my pants and I just didn’t explain it to anyone because there isn’t a good way to say “oh it’s actually not cum, it’s lube.”

Bucky

I once broke two Macbook Airs in one month. First time, I knocked over cranberry juice (and is there a worse thing to spill on electronics?) while eating lunch and watching How I Met Your Mother on Netflix. Cried, called my parents, who generously got me a new one. Second time, was eating outside on a windy day, gust of wind knocked over my lemon water (maybe the second-worst thing to spill on a computer). Maybe the worst thing I've ever done.

Dragon

Brand new board game, girls' game night. We pull out the board and lay it down, and one lady spills her red wine across the entire board. We clean it up and learn that the board was well made - no staining or warping. We sit down again, and another lady spills her red wine across the board. We did eventually play the game.