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Soliciting Pitches for Tortle Tank (Patreon)

Published:
2022-08-02 13:34:44
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

Hello NADDPOLES! We're relaunching the concept previously known as Owlbear Cave as "Tortle Tank" and we're looking for players and DMs to pitch Homebrew rules and creations for us to invest in.

Please comment with your pitch here on this post. Try to be as succinct as possible so we can get to as many as we can! Let's hope your Homebrew works for our eggs. Yes we still have eggs.

Also we will be joined by special guest Jasper William Cartwright of Three Black Halflings! Hell yeah.

Love,

Jake

Comments

Parker

Mount idea: a horse with cat paws. Thoughts?

William Hampton

Can’t remember if this has been done already but probably: on a crit I let players and enemies max damage and then roll an extra damage dice.

Melissa 'Mj' Fordos

So in the campaign I play in, my lovely DM gave me a very fun crossbow. It looks very poorly made, held together with pink sticky stuff and appears barely able to function. However looks are deceptive; on a nat 20, my attack will cast Tasha's Hideous Laughter on my opponent, and on nat 1, Tasha's Hideous laughter is cast on me instead! And thus introducing ✨ Tasha's Hideous Crossbow ✨ Side note; I assume it's their (DM's) homebrew since Google search results give me nothing, I'm happy to be corrected if I'm wrong :)

Holden

Tortles, I would like to pitch an idea to make saving throws better. Nothing is worse than rolling a nat 20 and being told you still have to take half damage. My rule gives you 0 damage on a nat 20 and also gives 1.5x damage on a nat 1 to keep the changes equal. I also give the option to keep damage RAW but use the nat 20/1 to give advantage/disadvantage on an ally’s roll (need to explain how, like the help action, to use this option) For 30% stake in this rule I am asking simply for 300gp and a private tour of the Tank (friendship is priceless)

Anthony Abreu

I have a Tabaxi Monk in one of my campaigns who gets some really high speeds with the synergy of race and class features. I granted him a Ring of Static Shock where, he gains a static charge for every 40 feet of movement. As a bonus action he can use ki to expend the stored charges for some smite like thunder damage and as an action he can expend four charges to cast spare the dying. The ring loses all charges outside of initiative.

Melissa 'Mj' Fordos

Expanding on that idea; what about a Pegasus like creature, but instead of hooves it has bird claws, so it can grip and climb things?

Kevin Seery

Hello Turts! My pitch today is for my magic item business Lil' Curses: Cursed Magic items where the curses are more of an inconvenience than a hindrance. Eg. A Pendant of Disguise Self but you always look like the person on a bad hair day A Ring of Featherfall but you fall 1ft per round so it takes a long time to get down A Cloak of Invisibility but its always wet, and smells like it was used to dry a dog The magic items are still useful, but annoying! You can invest for the low low price of three turtle eggs for a 49% stake in the company

Zaq Williams

My dear tortles, I have an idea for nat 20s on saving throws. Rolling a nat 20 on a saving throw can be a bummer because even though you rolled the best you could, you still take half damage. I also feel like taking no damage would be lame. How about when you roll a nat 20 on a saving throw, if the damage you would receive would kill you, instead you stay at 1 hit point.

Devyn N

We started using the optional “double down on your crit” thing that Caldwell made up in the dnd court, on a double 20 damage is quadrupled 20 then 1 you lose double damage, 1 then one you hurt yourself 1 then 20 you get to roll again and take the new number and it was super fun. My wife rolled a 1 then a 20, rerolled and got a nat 20 then on her second attack rolled 2 nat 20s. It was pandemonium at the table when that happened, super fun.

Michael Smallwood

Thought of this after I finished my last campaign so haven't had a chance to implement yet, but I plan to on my next one. Have the idea for 2 additional shield types to add more variety and expand usability across classes: 1) buckler (small wrist shield). Only adds a +1 to AC but allows the use of the shield hand for weapons. 2) tower shield (large "paladin" shield). Adds +3 to AC, but minus 10 to speed and/or disadvantage on DEX saving throws (or something like that). Fighters could use all shields, paladins and certain clerics can use the tower shield. Lighter classes like rogue and ranger can use the buckler. Class requirements could be at DM discretion though. All I ask is one egg per shield.

James Ekstrom

I've got a product that will take you from millionaire to grillionaire status, easily. I'll spare you the full stat block, but the gist is that if you have a party of super squishy casters that you want to slightly empower without giving them powerful AC items, may I introduce: The Portable Inflatable Flailing Covering Tubes Man (hereafter, "Tube Man"). It's basically one of those tube men like at the car dealership, but it's collapsible when not in use, and can be deployed with a bonus action to give you half cover (+2 to AC, at the right angle). It's situationally useful for staying at range, without breaking the balance because many melee range monsters will just walk around it. It's also highly flammable. As a bonus, I don't really know how investment works, so you can absolutely swindle me with an unfair egg deal and come out on top while leaving me no more than a listicle item for "10 inventors who you never knew made the items you love" in 6 years.

Tom A

Hello Tortles, for your delicious eggs I would like to pitch the homebrew item I like to put in all my games: The Coin of Certainty. With this coin, you can replace any d20 roll with a coinflip once. On a heads, treat the roll as a 20 and on tails, treat the roll as a 1. I think this is a really fun item, but my players never use it because I they feel it needs to be saved for the right moment, a moment that never comes. Do you believe this is a good item to throw in the world or can it be improved?

Diego Jorquera

Good afternoon to the powerful and imposing tortles and the sultry and voluptous tortle baliff Jake. I recently developed a way to speed things up in battles with multiple PCs: shared initiative. Basically players who roll next to each other will essentially go at the same time and have a few seconds to strategize before ultimately deciding in what order to attack and come up with cool strategies for their initiative group. I tried it and it lead to some pretty fluid combat and less downtime which is something that really makes large group combat drag for me. I'm seeking to sell 100% of my idea for 100,000 gold and then retire in a spooky abandoned mansion. Also @jasper COYG!!

Scottee

Homebrew rules, eh? We know some solid classics like giving everyone a free feat at level 1, but I want something a little more insane. Imagine thus, sweet investors: viable potion-mixing. With an Arcana and/or Nature check, let players mix two potions [more it they're daring] to combine effects. There are already vague rules for it, but they're totally luck based. Let your players mix up a potion of minor healing and invisibility! A potion of Double Greater Healing! Hell, dip scrolls in there and make a potion of etherealness fog! GO WILD, BABY! HAND OVER THE CASH!

Cuddle-less fish

We call that one "Crunchy crits" at our table it's one of my favorite homebrew rules

HolyFatFish

Tortles, here's one that DM's and players alike can enjoy. Not criting enough with your advantage? Got such a high modifier, disadvantage doesn't phase you? Well I present to the well-to-do amphibians: Advantage Stacks You can have between 2 levels of disadvantage and 2 levels of advantage for any roll. when making your roll, add together each instance of advantage and disadvantage. If you have only 1 instance of advantage, you have level 1 advantage and roll advantage as normal. If you have over 1 instance of advantage, you have level 2 advantage. What this means is that the "1" on both of your dodecahedrons will count as a "20" Adversely, if you have in 2 levels of disadvantage, the "20" of both of your dodecahedrons will count as a "1".

Two Deers Beep

Greeting Turdises it’s a pleasure to be here in your wonderful tank/cave my pitch is for the rule of “I’ve always been here” basically for the first five levels of any campaign I run I allow my players to change anything about their class background or stats if they are unhappy with how the character is playing and or they’ve had a sudden bout of inspiration. With the caveat that the in game party had never changed and that person had been there the whole time. The I’ve always been here rule can be your for the simple investment of becoming the god father to one of your hatchlings. -Further explanation not needed to be read- but I do this because we generally play campaigns that last a few years and go from 3-20 so it allows a players to feel out how their character their going to play in an actual campaign and not just a one shot and then we don’t have to continuously retire or reintroduce characters. Generally it’s just through the first arc which I don’t deal with anyones backstory and more just set them up in the world. Most of the time nobody takes me up on it to be honest

Harrison Barnes

A homebrew rule we have used at our table for years: the selfless sacrifice action. You may use your Reaction to dive on top of and shield with your own body one prone character, within dash distance of you, shielding them from all damage. You automatically fail any saving throws and all attacks until the start of your next turn automatically hit you. Additionally, make a DC 13 Wisdom saving throw to see if you retain your weapons. On a fail you drop your weapons and anything else you are carrying drops where you initially stood.

Robert McDaniel

Critical Success/Fail Saving Throws: on rolling a Nat 20 on a saving throw, you completely avoid the effects of whatever prompted the saving throw. No damage, no conditions. However on a Nat 1, regardless of the damage rolled you take the maximum amount of damage possible for the dice rolled, such as of you rolled a Nat 1 vs. a 3rd level Fireball you would take 48 fire damage regardless of the damage rolled. Anyway who did not crit success/fail takes damage as normal.

Michael Singer

May it please the tortles, and that arikokra with Weak ankles. I would like to pitch my idea for the intro to the hit show formerly known as The owl bear cave. I believe two stern solid “hoot hoots” are in order much like dungeon court’s “dun dun” I would like a 5% stake in your company for the idea thanks gremlins

Espen Hodne

When you level up and roll for HP instead of taking the average, you get to add one extra hit point. As is, taking average means you roll up. So average for a Fighter is a 6 on their d10, or 5.5 rounded up. This means the safe option is statistically better than rolling the die, which I feel goes against the spirit of the game. Giving an extra HP on rolling tilts the statistics back in favour of taking the dice, but leaves the safe option open to the cowards.

Kevin Seery

Hello Turts, here's my pitch for a new rule: Mortal wounds: where an attack would reduce a players HP to zero, they can instead choose to take a mortal wound (once per long rest). Instead of falling unconscious they drop to 1hp and their PC is permanently injured (eg. Lose an eye, limb etc.) this will have permanent effects on the PC, that they have to deal with going forward in the campaign. And this rule can be yours for the low price of the three turtle eggs, and a hole to be buried in for 49% of the company.

Dave 3D Art

The creator of Invisible Rope proudly presents: Death Guards. The Antithesis of Life Guards. These supernatural beings live underneath the water of swimming pools, and frequently visited beaches. They exist solely to maximize the dangers of drowning. While some are content with merely encouraging dangerous poolside behaviors, some will occasionally attempt to directly drown people. For every life guard, there is an equal and opposite death guard. They are undead, and are only capable of communicating via a series of high pitched whistles. I'll spare you the stat block.

Bep Bingus

To the esteemed tortles (may you stay forever damp), my proposal is a simple rework of the weakness and resistance system, which can be used to benefit martial characters. Instead of doubling or halving the damage, weakness and resistance would add or remove a fixed amount of damage per hit. So if a monster had weakness 5 to slashing, it would take 5 extra damage every time it was hit with slashing damage. I use this system most often with bludgeoning/piercing/slashing to encourage martial characters to switch weapons and strategies. This idea is adapted from Pathfinder 2e, but I feel like it works great in d&d.

Mark Jones

A Blood Hunter or Warlock subclass that focuses on healing through sacrifice. They have a unique mechanic where they can hurt themselves to give bonus healing or can heal through hurting enemies.

Sam K

Hi Tortles! I’m here today to make your dual wielding gameplay better! As we all know 5e R.A.W. Allows anybody to make an off hand attack as a bonus action. Paired with various fighting styles and feats it still doesn’t fulfill the dual wielded fantasy. What I present is a house rule that if a dual wielder makes an attack with his action and has atleast the “two weapon fighter” fighting style or “dual wielder” Feat then they may be allowed one free action off hand attack instead of using the bonus action. This would free up the bonus action allowing for other cool stuff the player may want to do. If you average out the damage with a dual wielder and a character that wields a single weapon with two hands the latter still has the higher damage output. So why not? I leave the decision to you tortles!

Hemlock

Tortles, thank you for having me today. After one of the most recent episodes, where Calder is unable to carry the Gatling Gun, I knew it was time to bring my creation to life, the Crank-Fed Crossbow. The CFC is a minigun style weapon with a 100 round magazine that unleashes the 9 hells on your enemies at the, measly sacrifice of doing anything else on your turn, but who needs a turn when all those who oppose you are paste? All I'm asking for is paltry investment of a million gold in my business, Not a Boring Company, to get Not a Minigun in the hands of adventurers everywhere! For full rules text: https://www.dndbeyond.com/magic-items/3177407-crank-fed-crossbow

Ophelia Black

Hi Tortles! I’ve always felt like D&D has a magic problem. Spell slots feel too restrictive at lower levels and there just are never enough of them! Introducing Channel Magic rolls. A spellcasting modifier check to allow the magic of the universe to flow through you, letting you use a spell slot you *technically* don’t have! Of course, this comes with consequences. Failing a channel magic roll causes major damage as your soul is exposed to raw potential magical energy. The full technical wording, as well as the full consequences/DC table can be found here https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/886394733180616745/1004023288294555738/IMG_2099.png

Kevin Wixom

Fleshy, the Clockwerk Sneaky Doll: Fleshy is a clockwerk stuffed doll made up of a rabbit's body, metal skeleton, turtle shell on its back and teeth from a lizard. He gives advantage on stealth checks, but every time you use him, you have to roll a D20. On a 1, he jumps out of your arms and runs around you screaming, "Hi, I'm Fleshy!" at the top of his lungs for 1 round.

Welliboot

Thank you for your time Tortles. The product I have to present to you today is my "you can make anything mechanical if you have enough of the right types of scrap" This is a rule I specifically developed for my artificer, who kept want to build mechanical items or mod mechanical vehicles both magical and mundane. So I ruled that there were 2 types of scrap he could collect by dismantling mechanical objects, magical scrap and mundane scrap. So he can make/mod whatever he wants he just has to tell me what he wants to make and I tell him the amount of whatever scrap he would need. The only caveat being that for especially powerful/pivitol stuff I might ask for a specific item that he has to hunt down and find. For this great ruling I'm looking for 1000 shell pieces for 50% of the ruling. I wait to hear your judgements

Jake of all Trades

Gamblers die: for casino themed games. When you roll a Nat 20, you double your die as normal. But you can gamble the number of hit dice. So if you use a shortsword, you get 2d6. If you take the gamblers die, you can wager one or both those d6 to double it again. You roll a flat d20, 11 and above is passing and you get to double the dice you wagered. 10 and below and you lose the dice you wagered. 50/50 chance. Only applies to damage rolls

Makeitsweat

Hello, Tortles and Jake if we are supposed to be mean to him in this too. In the group I play with, we have some rules in character creation that really help the DM tie in backstories with the story. Every character needs to include 3 narrative hooks(wants revenge on an NPC, looking for a powerful weapon, or a loved NPC went missing) and 3 named NPCs and their relationship to the PC. As well as some guidelines like "Please don't kill family members, overly gory, etc..." I am willing to take any offer, I am desperate. Thank you Tortles

Alex W

Hello exalted tortles and also Jake. I bring to you the weather table. I made a fun little weather mechanic for my players! We’re playing in a world based around the three body problem, which is a complicated physics/cosmology problem but basically there is no stable way for a body to orbit around three stellar bodies (planes of sun gods in our case). This unstable orbit would cause cataclysmic weather events, so now I make them roll for weather after every long rest. On a 1, it’s flash flooding, on a 2, blizzard, on a 3, heat wave, on a 4 wind storms, on a 5-6 it’s a really bad rainstorm. It’s made traveling really fun, as each weather event requires different saves, halves movement, causes levels of exhaustion, does damage, or can separate the party. As the players level up, the saves get harder and more damage comes into play. I believe this mechanic can be applied to games not just about the three body problem, and can be modified to fit the terrain a party is currently traversing. I’m offering 49% stake for 400gp and a critter country update.

ThatManGareth

Hey Torts, my idea is a revamp of the inspiration system in 5e. Inspiration, as is, is almost as useless as a certain court bailiff. Getting advantage on rolls is fairly easy if thought through, and it leads to my players never using the inspiration so I can't give them more. I propose making the inspiration system an auto success that can be done before or after a roll (DM discretion) so that the players have more autonomy in the story and are more incentivized to use it in a pinch. It could also lead to more interesting and clutch moments. To kickstart this project I only need a measly 50,000 gp to reprint all new sourcebooks with my custom rule. (PS: focus group testing at my tables, both as DM and player have gone over extremely well)

Shogun Steele

Need to spice up a shopping trip, but don't want to think about it too hard? Try Grocerstorm, a heroes feast spell gone horribly wrong turned local business! Try our many products, such as bags of endless potato, dragon fruit, screaming coconuts, wheat by-products, and eye lemons. (treat most products as potions)

Paul Laverty

Esteemed Tortles, have you ever felt like healing spells, whilst much needed and appreciated, are sometimes in want of a bit of spice? May I pitch Reckless Healing, where a healer may choose to roll a D20 before casting a healing spell, 2 through 19 the spells goes off as normal but a Nat20 grants double healing and a Nat1 means the spell fizzles out and no healing is provided. A risky move for sure, but the added excitement is worth the risk.

heaps and heaps of worms

This is a crazy rule that has horrible implications, but I love it. When you cast a concentration spell, you must continuously provide the components for casting it. So you must mutter an incantation and/or make gestures and/or hold aloft a focus or materials to keep the spell going, which I think is a cool visual. This also means that if there are two concentration spells that don't have overlapping components (one spell with Verbal and Material and one spell with just Somatic), you can concentrate on both of them at the same time. Concentrating doesn't affect your ability to cast spells with an action or less, as you work the components into your concentration briefly, but it may stop you from holding intense conversation, or using one or more of your hands. This rule would make everything worse, but isn't it kinda cool?

Abigail Martin

Esteemed tortles of the tank, I come to you today with a pitch that makes survival more fun. Instead of methodically buying equipment for every possible eventuality, my party implements a “wagon policy.” In essence, my players tell me how much gold they’re spending on supplies to put on the wagon for an expedition. Then, if they need a piece of equipment, they “pull it from the wagon,” subtracting it’s cost from the amount they initially invested in supplies. This makes prepping for an outing go by quicker, and is a simple way of estimating how low on supplies the party is getting. I’m offering a 10% stake in my company in exchange for four Nat twenties. Good day.

Austyn Donoho

You guys really want to use the phrase "unbury your turts everybodyyyy"

Trevor Ayala

Homebrew dragon PC: Fiend warlock with 1 level of barbarian for rage. Think fiery spells until you rage, in witch case you get access to a flying speed and bite/claw attacks. Mystic Arcanum would eventually give the option for true polymorph, allowing the PC to become a full blown dragon with flying speed etc. At level 11. Hurl through hell at level 14 reflavored as a breath weapon. Also, blink puppy and displacer kitten familiars. (They made them RAW in wild beyond the witchlight but I don't think any of the classes in the PHB list them as an available summon.)

HolyFatFish

For example - 2 instances of advantage could be striking a prone opponent while invisible. You would roll with level 2 advantage. Now, if that opponent has the Blur spell casted upon them, that's one instance of disadvantage on top of your 2 advantages - giving you 1 level, or normal advantage.

DowdMusic

Yo heres the deal turts, half stakes in my idea for two sweet tortle eggs. I present to you the metal substitution metamagic option for Sorcers. When an evocation spell is modified as such the elemental based energy is replaced by shooting big as hunks of metal. Fireball becomes wreacking ball. Casting scorching ray? You shoot out construction I-beams. Heres the crunch, spells cast this way will no longer have a Save DCs or elemental strengths/ weakness and but will need to pass the targets AC.

Rafi Ronquillo

Suggested rule: no rangers. You’re player wants to fight alongside a majestic beast? No, they’re wrong. Sorry. Can’t be done.

Lorne Mintz

So I've had this fun idea for an item that would give you a last stand opportunity in battle, it's a mechanic for an Adrenaline Injection, its a rare item with a value of 501-5000 GP and a weight of 0.5 lbs. It's a risky item that can have either good or bad consequences for using it. The description is as follows: If you inject this syringe you will be overcome with a rush of energy. You gain 20 Temporary Hit Points and for the next 10 minutes you take half-damage from all attacks, and have advantage on your attacks. If you use this injection while you have more than half of your total max hp remaining, there is a 50% chance it will overdrive your heart causing a heart attack, if this happens, you lose all your hp and begin rolling death saving throws. Roll a luck check, if you roll 10 or below you suffer a heart attack. Once you use this injection you cannot use it again for a full 24 hours or else it will cause a heart attack. For an investment I am seeking 50,000 gp and the recipe to Balnor's Tuna Sandwich for 50% of my idea. I await your response O Mighty Owlbears!

Dharini A

Tortles, I bring you the invention of a genius that is not me: A fellow player in the campaign I'm playing created a Salamander dragonborn race. Racial traits include things like water breathing, a swim speed, and sticky fingers for climbing on walls. The player created all sorts of amazing lore for it, but my favorite is that the race reproduces primarily by parthenogenesis (ladies make babies all on their own).

Ted H.

Hey there Tortle-tars! I have a home brew rule perfect for all. The help action we can agree is way OP, so I propose that the help action only consist of adding the bonus of those giving the action. This can help role play by having characters play and mingle with their strengths after all how is the -2 CHR barbarian helping the bard sweet talk the tavern owner for free rooms. For this rule I am asking 5 magical duck eggs and a fly spell. Ps Emily your the best!

EVAN TAWA

Hey Tortles. My suggestion is a simple one - when rolling for HP on level up, if your roll is less than the average for your hit die, take the average instead. For example, if you have a D8 hit die and roll a 1, your HP still increases by 5 (plus CON). More HP for your characters means more action! I’m looking for only one egg in return, but it has to be a good one.

Ace

Tortletops, if I may pitch a fast ball to you. My home campaign, DM’d by my sibling, has us roleplaying as ourselves. We used this quiz(http://www.kevinhaw.com/add_quiz.php) to determine our stats in conjunction with a custom level 0(homebrewed by my sibling) for each class with the same starting hit points but fewer proficiencies and minimal class features, and gritty realism. While we didn’t make the quiz, it allowed us to choose classes that would suit us with a relatively objective look and the level 0 truly let us earn our status as fledgling adventurers, hardly surviving encounters with small handfuls of goblins. i.e. my warlock had a tiny patron that gave me two predetermined once-a-day spells and no cantrips. coupled with my longsword and no starting proficiencies aside from athletics from my irl background, i had a tough go of it.

tony bakov

I keep trying to make Voltron happen where multiple people control and roll for the shared robot but it's never quite satisfying

Jake de Medeiros

Hey Tortles, My name is Jake de Medeiros and I’d like to introduce you to my custom rule: NPC death saving throws I DM a table of players who get very attached to any NPC with a remotely fun voice or a unique story, and while I love that my players are happy, it makes it hard to decide who I can kill to raise stakes without causing outrage. Tortles, what better solution is there than leaving the fate of my beloved NPC’s to Dice Christ them-self. When an NPC finds themselves at zero hit points, I allow each of my players to make an impassioned speech and then roll an “NPC death saving throw”, which is a check with a modifier that I decide after their speech ranging from +/-3, with the same rules of being above or below 10 for a pass/fail. Pour your heart out for better odds, or give a lacklustre “meh” if you don’t mind seeing an NPC depart to the great beyond with -3 odds. For this added player agency and stress relief on our overworked DM’s, I’m asking for just one of your almighty Tortle eggs. Toodaloo Tortles, Jake

Henry

Crit damage variation: When you crit instead of double the dice, you roll the extra dice, but the original dice are auto full damage. So if you crit with a long sword, instead of rolling 2d8, you roll 1d8 and add 8. A short sword crit would be 1d6 plus 6. This makes sure that a crit will always be big damage.

PJ Elliott

Really bummed the new name isn’t Turtice Tank

Paul Deichmann

I’m working on an item I’m going to allow my players to discover and I’d love your thoughts on it. Periapt of Borromic Herosim When the attuned wearer falls to 0hp, they may choose whether to become incapacitated and roll death saves as normal, or to instead activate this magic necklace. While activated, the wearer can continue to act while at 0hp. At the start of each of their turns, the wearer rolls their death saves and tracks them as usual, but also gains a level of exhaustion. They can then take their turn. During this time melee attacks against them cause 1 death save fail, rather than 2, as they are not incapacitated.

Mama Hot Tomato

Tortles, I’m here with an idea that will have your eggs glistening. Introducing - Ability Scores, Redux. Everyone’s heard of the old classics - Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, Intelligence, Wisdom, and that old rascal Charisma. These fellas are getting old and crotchety (or crochet-y as Mr. Tanner would say) - it’s time for a rebrand. Let’s introduce our new, improved ability scores - four instead of six, with two returning players and two fresh on the scene. Tortles, meet STRENGTH, SPEED, WISDOM, and WIT. These sexy new twists on an old formulas streamline the abilities, allowing more flexibility and eliminating redundancies. Let's also do away with the old 1-20 score system - rusty and outdated - and implement a simple -5 to +5 scale. This requires a little massaging of rules on Ability Score Improvements, but those shoulders have needed a rubdown for quite some time. Finally, let's not forget that we can introduce my favorite new mechanic - a combined rating between the physical and mental ability scores that acts as a general saving throw, with STAMINA as the physical save and WILL as the mental save. Simply combine STRENGTH and SPEED scores to determine STAMINA bonus, and WISDOM and WIT to determine WILL bonus. It's as easy as struggling up through the sand after hatching, blindly fighting your way to the shoreline and beginning your life on the open ocean. Tortles, next time a new DM gets frustrated by the arcane rules for determining every quality of a character, you can tell them - it doesn't have to be this way. Choose to blaze a new trail. Choose: Ability Scores, Redux.

Samuel Allsop

Hello Tortles. I am pitching an idea that I know is similar to one you have heard before, but with a twist. On every nat 20 or nat 1 I roll behind the screen. On 1-5 with a nat 1 something more goes wrong. E.g. in a ranged encounter they hit their friend with friendly fire, or their Speer starts to break from strain giving disadvantage. 15-20 with a nat 20 they disarm their enemy or their patron is impressed and gives them an extra spell slot. By never revealing that I do this, this doesn't take away from the "oh shit" moments of getting either a nat 1 or a nat 20 and just injects further fun and sometimes a bit of wackyness into the game. Although it had caused 1 argument that I was being harsh, which I relented on because I thought revealing this mechanic would ruin the fun. I am asking for 3 eggs for a 20% share in this mechanism. You will also be absolved of any liability of arguments caused. Thank you for your time. Sam from Loughborough

Dave 3D Art

How do you do Tortles? I present to you a magic item of my own invention that exists primarily for wordplay, but has become a reasonably priced, and effective tool in one of my home games. Key Lime Pie. Bog standard Key Lime Pie with a simple yet effective enchantment. Upon consuming a slice of the pie, you have advantage on your next check to open a locked door or chest. A full pie of six slices costs 50 Gold, and an individual slice costs 12 Gold. Upon consumption you have until your next long rest to use the advantage. I've already moved 500 gold of these enchanted pies, and I request 2.5 Eggs for 17% of my Company. It pairs well with Invisible Rope.

Ben McKechnie

Dear Wise Tortles, I humbly present my pitch for rules to govern: A Bourne Identity themed beginners D&D game: You don't know what your modifiers are until you roll. DM creates some characters which are all rangers (as I see Bourne as a "city ranger") but with different subclasses and proficiencies to make them feel unique and exciting. "I want to try and trap some street vermin to eat" - rolls survival, DM reveals they have proficiency and +4 to the roll! "I want to swing out of the window and cling onto the ledge" - rolls acrobatics, DM reveals they have -1 and they fall. This is a fun start to a beginners campaign as the players find out who they are and what niche they fit into. It also encourages all players to try out all their skills because they want to find out what they're good at, and prevents them from immediately falling into the trap of "you're the charismatic one so you do the talking". I have found it immediately teaches the players how failing horribly can be just as fun as succeeding. I'm looking for an investment of 3000 Gold for a 40% stake in the profits of the eventual module book that we will sell. I assume Jake is the richest Tortle as he has the most business acumen, but I think I would have more synergy with one of the smaller Tortles as they would have the time to be more involved in the running of the business at grassroots level.

Riko H

Greetings to you Totally tubular terrific Tortles and an even more warm blooded welcome to the guest Tortle, it's an honour to be in your presences, I present to you my idea for Medals. Here's the dealio, In my campaign I decided that aside from attunement slots I would also give my party medal slots, medals can be made by going to stores that deconstruct magic items (helps with build up) and makes them into medals that have buffs and debuffs (these stores are located in the city of magic in my campaign known as Traiftin) they also get one after beating a boss that is special and themed around said boss, they also gain a slot with ability Score increases, also I have given all armor and weapons a slot, if the weapon is +1 it has another slot. I have also came prepared with an example! Recently my party gained a set of earrings, one announces loudly when unwanted company approaches and the other announces when they leave. If they were to turn this into a medal I would have it become this: Advantage on perception against stealth but it's because the spirits of the earrings are now acting like Statlor and Waldorf from the muppets in their brain to heckle them into being more perceptive.

DJY333

Greeting judges and may it tickle the tortles, I’m running curse of Strahd for two new players who both wanted to play spellcasters, and it’s been causing me a bit of anxiety. A lot of these encounters are extremely difficult and these dudes are so fragile, not to mention there’s only 2 of them. However, while planning the Old Bonegrinder encounter with the hags, I came up with an idea. I want to give my players access to a version of coven spellcasting. For those that don’t know, when hags come together and form a coven, it allows them to cast higher level spells than any of them would be capable of alone. Usually, this results in level 4 pc’s getting torn to shreds by a sixth level lightning bolt, but I want to let my players learn this technique and throw it right back at them. I’m hoping this could give my players a potentially much needed power boost, especially for these early levels. Let me know what you think.

Riko H

Always nice to see another Luke

J Harkins

Hello Tortles. Have you ever felt, as I have, that nonlethal damage lacks an element of danger? Based on the idea that no matter how good you are in combat you can never guarantee that violence is nonlethal I have created a simple new rule. Roll a d20 and if it's a nat1 the npc dies, for more intense campaigns that roll could be even higher. 5 and below? 10 and below? whatever fits your vibe and the vibe of your game.

Mattie Honda

Hellooooooooooooo Halfli-I mean Tortles! Thank you for opening up your doors, and hopefully I can get you to open up your shells with this practical product. So often, I see parties finding themselves in dire situations; the cleric is down, the wizard is grappled, and the rogue is nowhere to be found! In moments like these, oftentimes a noble barbarian type will ask if they can intercept an attack on behalf of another player (usually someone rolling death saves). With no official mechanic for this, may I present to you: the cover action! You can use your action to cover another player. Since you are throwing caution to the wind, the enemy has advantage to attack either you or the player you are covering. If the covered teammate is the target, then the attacker must roll 5 above the armor class to inflict damage. If they are between the AC and the AC+5 threshold, then the damage goes to the PC covering. This essentially gives +5 AC to the PC in trouble, but at the risk of taking damage yourself! I'd like each of your firstborn eggs as well as front row tickets to the next live-show. From Mattie, with love.

Macauly Leiher

Torts, do I have a Playable Character For you, in my one friends campaign she made a cool little food world, and I played a Sour patch kid and I had special Sour Attacks where I could use my Sour Power to either have an enemy have a chance of being blinded and or +1d4 acid damage if I Rubbed my sour dust on my blade. I also discovered in a hot tub adventure that I could absorb liquids and double my size if i lower my acrobatics and dexterity. And then after I got wet, I devolved Sticky Fingers, where I got +2 to slight of hand and also got just about everything stuck to my body i was mainly lint by the time the campaign ended it

David Fryauf

A Pegaspider. Fkit, a giant badgerdphin pegaspider. It has an epic fly, swim, climb, and dig speed... but anybody who attempts to use it as a mount has to first make a DC20 Wisdom saving throw else take 4d10 psychic damage trying to comprehend this ridiculous abomination of an animal.

CharlieB

My most esteemed tortles; may your eggs grow ever larger (but not in a concerning way). I've been GMing a homebrew campaign for about 2 years now, and one player is a bear-man fighter (think Wookie crossed with Armoured Bear) who drinks a little heavily. He built his character around being a grappler to pin down enemies but we hated the grappler feat so made a "Human Shielder" replacement: - Expertise on Strength (Athletics) for grappling. -While grappling a creature, gain +2 AC (like half cover) -If an attack would have hit you, but for the +2 AC, instead hits the creature you are grappling Kindly look upon my creation; I am looking for a friendly hug to provide a mental boost to our combat hugging project.

Kelsey

Wise and Wealthy Tortles of the Tank, Has death lost its stakes in higher-level play in your campaigns? Is your party’s cleric (or other expert healer) so bedecked in 300GP diamonds that they could double as a disco ball? Make death a setback again by having any formerly-deceased player roll a d6 when they are brought back to life. That’s how many levels of exhaustion they have—creating some inconvenience for shuffling off this mortal coil and offering a 1 in 6 chance that the spell fails, as six levels of exhaustion results in death. Make death scary again by investing in this homebrew rule!

Frosti G

The Cursed Cloak of Billowing Functions for the user the same as the Cloak of Billowing except it automatically billows on intimidation checks. However everyone else see the user manually billowing his cloak with their hands and making a wind sound with their mouth, thus giving the user disadvantage on their intimidation checks.

Dustin Colwell

Assorted tortles, don’t be startled. I present the magical RV. A large magical house on two legs, with customizable rooms and a cat familiar that lives within. The players can use this to have a long rest on the way to their destination as well as a place to plan their next quest. DMs fear not, the Baba Yaga house cannot climb mountains, cross unbridged rivers, and she’s afraid of combat. This magical home is a great reward, a beloved character, and a mobile safe haven all at once.

Theophilus the Thistle Sifter

Introducing: The Bag of Withholding. A sentient leather bag (a la the Sorting Cap from Harry Potter) which can hold a shocking amount of items given it's apparent size. The only problem, however, is that it refuses to open and the contents cannot be removed when placed inside. Tortles, I reccomend it's use when your party is being whiny and begging for a Bag of Holding! Imagine the despair on the faces of your players as their glee turns to horror when they finally realize that any cursed item, gold piece, or extra set of armor they have placed inside effectively disappears and the bag comes to life to mockingly sing poems to them and refuse to explain why it is being withholding . As I ask for a 10 Platinum investment for 20% stake in my product, I implore you to consider that (if properly used) the bag can be used to banish any item necessary. Thank you for your time.

Ben D

Benevolent Tortles, have you ever been frustrated by the fact that combat cantrips damage scales as you level, but utility cantrips never get better? I have a solution for you, instituted by my DM and brother. At level 11, when spells like fire bolt and infestation are now 3x more effective than at level 1, utility cantrips no longer cost an action to cast, but rather a bonus action! This boosts the creative and combat implications of spells like guidance, mending, message and many more! And is simpler than creating unique solutions for each cantrip allowing them to scale.

Kayla Holmes

Have you ever built a character to have the highest initative possible, only to realize that at a certain point, it doesn't matter? I propose to you: if your initiative exceeds a certain number, you leap into action so quickly that you surprise your enemies in combat. You get a free surprise round before initiative starts. This would, of course, be a powerful ability so I'd recommend setting the DC quite high (30?). This way, it really only affects people who build for initiative and, even then, it's not happening every combat. But it becomes a powerful reward for someone who builds for initiative (so you don't just have to multiclass as an assassin). Thank you for your time and I will accept an early listen to episodes before they're ready if I get above 30 on initative (my dex is -1 so chances aren't great).

Andrew O'Connell

Presenting the Oracle's Shop: In addition to providing your typical divination spell services (e.g. Identify, Augury, etc.), visitors to the shop can have their fortune told for a small (~10 gp fee). The fortune telling consists of laying out three tarot cards (or regular playing cards with tarot equivalents) representing the characters past, present, and future. The first two give the player the opportunity to explore their past and present circumstances while the future card activates a 1st level spell that will take effect at some point over the next day. These spells are associated with the meaning of the card and include spells such as Bless, Bane, Comprehend Language, and Gift of Alacrity. Thusfar the resulting readings have been potent and unnervingly accurate.

Jacob Field

Dearest egg-laying Tortles, I introduce my Spellcaster 'Charge' mechanic: When casting a spell, the caster may ‘charge’ it up, at the cost spending one round of combat ‘charging’, up to a number of rounds equal to half of their character level. The spell will only use a spell slot of the level cast, but its effect will be that level + 1 level for each round spent charging. A spell cannot be charged to a level higher than spell slots that the caster has. Please assess and invest or subject me to jest. Love always, Jaybo

Peter Doole

I recently added a new feature for my Druid in the hard core campaign I’m running. When ever they wildshape they can only shift into an animal that they have collected the DNA of. It also takes 1d4 + 1 in game minutes to change into that animal. However if they stay in animal form for more than 2 hours they are stuck in animal form forever. A simple Wish spell can reverse this effect

Bliss

Hey what’s up Tortles. Have you ever fought an epic boss battle and rolled a nat 20 on a saving throw? Were you disappointed that you simply saved? Then you need the ring of great success! When worn by the DM (yes in real life) the Ring gives players that roll a nat 20 on saving throws get an extra bonus action. I humbly ask for one dragon in bahumia, one train car in thornkirk, one moon ranch in Trinyvale and one ocean front cottage in salty peaks; for 100% product rights and a virtual high five - redeemable at any time.

jawnster

Greetings Tortles. I submit to you the "Spell Bank". Players can go to this location in most established towns to make exchanges. They may purchase spell slots or specific desirable spells in "spell gems" that store mana and magic. Alternatively, they may sell their spell slots as a way to make a few extra coins (obviously cheaper than they will be purchased for) High level spells are expensive but then still accessible from a low level magic user or maybe even a non-caster w an arcana check. (Possible permit required to purchase violent spells) This is a great plot hook for a couple reasons including the fact that it's a pawn shop for wild magic users to get money for... stuff? Different sized/style stones for different spell storages and such. (Anyone can steal this for their homebrew)

Dave 3D Art

Homebrew Rule Applicable to any game or system. Whether you're the Dungeon Master, Game Master or Storyteller if you're the one running the game you should never have to pay for pizza.

Iain Watters

Greetings Tortles. I would like to pitch the Fancylads tea set -a small wooden case, holding a fine china teapot, 4 elegant teacups, and a variety of otherworldly tea leaves, blends and spices. If the owner of the tea set can convince their guests to join them for a cuppa, the owner gains the following benefits :- 1. Whilst their guests enjoys the tea, the owner has a +4 to Charisma checks that pertain to their guest. 2 - for the duration of the tea party, the tea set grants the effects of a successful "calm emotions" spell upon the guest(s). The effects wear off once the tea party is over or if an act aggression, unbecoming of a tea party, is performed. I believe the Fancylads tea set would be a welcome addition to the adventurers pack of any PC who appreciates the finer things in life. Thank you for your time.

Jack Nathe

But I loved the owlbears

Luke Polito

Hello Tortles. Your shells are looking especially nice today. What are you using to maintain their luster and strength? Surely it must cost you all a great deal of time and money to maintain yourselves and your weapons properly. But what if there was a tool that improved your equipment while adding a dash of pizzazz? May I present The Gambler's Whetstone: a delightful device that dares to draw elemental powers from the world and imbue them directly onto your equipment. Complicated to use? Not at all. Simply apply the Gambler's Whetstone to a weapon or piece of armor during a rest and roll a d6 to determine the effect (fire, poison, etc). Applied to a weapon and you will do an added d8 of that damage type while attacking, applied to an armor and it provides resistance to that damage type. Can be used once per day, only can be applied to one item at a time. I'm looking for one dozen eggs for a 45% share. Thank you.

Justin Dorland

May it edge the Tortles one and all, please review some ideas, in ascending order of niche silliness Monks regain a ki on a critical hit. Rogues can use Thieves Cant to approximate a language if they spend 1 minute deciphering it. my player's Rock Gnome Wizard can spend one Level 1 spell slot to use their Tinker ability to create a small clockwork object. my player's Ghost Monk who took the Observant feat may, when an enemy is hit by another player, spend her reaction to roll Insight to learn any weaknesses, hidden weapons, or strategies of the enemy. Ie, a Shadow gets hit by the Rogue, the Monk rolls Insight as a reaction to learn the Shadows drain Strength and has Sunlight Weaknesss. Addendum: in a different campaign a Bard uses True Strike to roll Arcana or Investigation to learn the same sort of things as above^

HalfLighter

Good evening, Tortles. I present to you a magic weapon I homebrewed for a Paladin PC at my table to act as their signature for our campaign. Prismatic Greatsword (requires attunement) This magic weapon has a bonus to attack and damage rolls equal to half of your proficiency bonus rounded down. Whenever you use the Divine Smite class feature you may choose to roll an additional 1d8. The result of this roll is added to the smite’s damage total and converts all of the damage to a specific type as indicated below: 1- Necrotic 2- Acid 3- Cold 4- Fire 5- Lightning 6- Thunder 7- Psychic 8- Force

Bailey Hull

Tortles: Do you like beer? A lot of it? How about drinking beer while casting spells? I’m excited to present my beer-based one-shot mechanic: The Wizard Staff. This one-shot that uses the concept of "Wizard Staff", i.e. a tower of empty beer cans taped together. Every player plays as a wizard, but does not have any spell slots. To earn and use spell slots, the player must chug a beer, and add it to their Wizard Staff. Each beer added equates to one spell slot, and tracks with the normal wizard spell slot scale. Whoever has the biggest Wizard Staff is the most powerful wizard in the party. I'm seeking rule legitimacy in exchange for five percent equity and a couple cans of Natty Light. Thank you for your time.

Michael Kessler

Hello Tortle Tank! I'd like to introduce you to your party's new best friend - Mr. Takeaway! Mr. Takeaway is a ragged, dirty, foul smelling merchant that specializes in exchanging powerful magic items for body parts. A Robe of Eyes costs only your eyeballs. A flying carpet can be yours, if you part ways with your left foot. Want to create your own magical tattoos? Simply replace your blood with ink, preventing you from ever being magically healed again. What does Mr. Takeaway do with his pounds of flesh? That's for him to know and for you to die a horrible death trying to find out! The best part? Mr. Takeaway comes to YOU! Every time a player uses ANY teleportation (even misty step) or enters another dimension/plane, there's a chance they'll instead be pulled into Mr. Takeaway's pocket realm. How do you leave? I'm sure you'll think of something. So what do I want in exchange for this fascinating creature? Why, nothing at all. In fact, now that you've read this post, Mr. Takeaway will be coming for you. Whether you want him or not. Safe travels! (All credit to my DM Tim for coming up with this wonderful creature)

Muqtadaa Miandara

Hello Terrific Tortles, in particular his Tortliness Jasper William Cartwright, as last time someone from Three Black Halflings took my case as a judge they ruled against me for not naming them in my honorifics despite me having no way to know they would be on the show in advance (my case was about the players that had the genie and accidentally wished him free). I have a pitch that will make you yolked, that is to say surrounded by more eggs than you'll know what to do with. I present to you and your most orbicular eggs my own homebrew - "Going Out In Style" aka "The Heroic Last Stand". In a scenario wherein a PC has been brought low and failed at least one death save, they can declare a heroic sacrifice, failing their last two death saves but receiving a Boromir-like exit for their character, rising from their fallen state in a frenzy to take a final turn. On this turn they auto-crit on attacks, enemies automatically fail on saves against whatever final spell is cast, and the player has their movement speed increased by half rounded to the nearest multiple of 5 (so 30ft of movement becomes 45ft, 25ft becomes 35ft, etc). In return, the player is capital D dead. They have consumed every last bit of their essence to save their party and accomplish the task at hand and cannot be revived or resurrected in any fashion. There is no ghost, no spirit, nothing left behind. As a DM for long campaigns, I only allow this in specific scenarios. A player cannot make a last stand against a group of goblins or wieners that got lucky, it has to make narrative sense, so there is still some control on when and how this occurs from the DM's side. Although, if I were running a one-shot, I would allow the players to Last Stand willy-nilly, because that's just funny as fuck. So, Tortles, this is my pitch for the Tank. How many eggs is it worth?

David N

Hi turts, we here at the Simple Alchemists Guild have a way to make the first few levels of alchemist feel like a fun experience instead of a slog of randomly using catapult and missing every turn and hiding in the corner while the real casters do big damage. Basically, my DM let me collect basic spell component type things throughout the adventure, and during my long rest i can use them along with a couple rolls to make a potion that gives me a random spell to use for the turn. The rolls determine how good the spell is, if the potion has any negative effects on me when i drink it, and if i can recreate it in the future. This has lead to some more interesting turns on my part where i could use spells like haste earlier than i should be able to, or accidentally cast ray of sickness on myself. The component gathering aspect also becomes a little roleplaying mini game where i need to gather rabbits feet to make new haste potions, and the dm can punish me for it. (Its ok, i learned from my mistakes, and we love animals in this party now).

Axyl and Olympia

Howdy tortles! I submit the rule of the prone lil fellas. At our table prone takes a full action to stand up/ get out of. We feel it adds more stakes and gives more weight to spells that make you fall prone. We almost had a TPK due to this in our first campaign but it was one of the most epic parts of the campaign. We feel this rule adds more stakes. For this rule I simply ask for the ability to pet murph and Emily’s critters and 10% share in the shore company, stickers and all. Thankyou!

Kodi Earnhardt

Top of the mornin to ya Torts, here's my pitch: Filtrae: Imagine a plastic bag floating on the wind, minding its own business. It drifts down next to a tree, and a rat scurries by. The plastic bag's reflex is triggered and it darts toward the rat completely encasing it, eventually suffocating it to be drained of its nutrients. A +4 dex, +2 strength, <0 everything else plant creature, with 1 HP, the filtra is simple. It uses its reaction to make a dexterity check against nearby creatures' stealth. On success, it darts a max of 30 ft toward the source of the sound, aiming for the face first, then if there are other filtrae, they aim for hands, and then chest. The creature must hold its breath while a filtra is on its face, hands are immobilized until the filtrae are removed, and ones on the chest may use a reaction to compress the chest, and halve the target's air supply. Creatures with the use of their hands can make an opposed strength check to try to remove one attacking filtra. Perfect for horror settings, and a wonderful way to spice up any encounter. Please send gold, I have a storage unit full of these things and the lease is about to end, if they get out we're all in big trouble.

SpillboBaggins

I love the NADDPOD / TBH crossovers :)

SrirachaGamer

To the wise and fiscally responsible Tortles, I've found a way to make Beast Master Ranger actually fun to play. According to RAW a Beast Master must take their full action, or one of their attacks at level 5, to command their beast companion. Even with the added Proficiency Bonus, a beast companion can't be above CR 1/4 and so will always be very under powered compared to just attacking. I propose that the Ranger should instead be able to use their bonus action to command their companion. This allows the Ranger to actually do damage with their weapon and makes the beast more than just cannon fodder. This also aligns more with modern expansions (e.g. wildfire spirit or drake companion) and makes the beast companion feel like a full party member. I humbly request a dozen eggs to feed all these abandoned beast companions that never got to do anything except dodge.

Hardwons Left Quad

The bailiff belt: Wondrous item Wearing this belt will grant the bailiff class +200 to charisma checks against crit judges. Variant: the item is cursed and makes the wearer 1000x more likely to get razzed by the judges. The judges decide at the time of wearing which variant the bailiff has

Sara

I am offering a revised version of the "chill touch" cantrip: accessible to any spell caster with a narratively established fondness for that good green leaf enjoyed by only the chillest of PCs, this spectral hand is made of smoke that causes the target to take 1d8 poison damage (as opposed to the original's necrotic damage), and become too chill and relaxed to accept any healing, since they're "like, good, bro, y'know? I don't need medicine, dude, I got NATURE'S medicine..." (Asking 10 gold pieces to purchase snacks to go with any future product testing.)

Zack

Hello tortles! Thank you for welcoming me in to your newly renovated tank. For just one sliver of an egg shell and a possible feature in a future cool boy winter campaign, I give to you DND beer pong. -2v2 one throw per player. -you can use athletics, sleight of hand, arcana, or performance to throw. -dc goes up by 1 every time a cup is made starting at 15. -trick shot is disadvantage but gets 2 cups, called before throwing. -both balls going in is balls back, giving the attacking team another turn. -nat 1 spill your own cup + party foul. -nat 20 you make 2 cups. -can use spells to enhance your ability but not to redirect ball. -can ask for 1 rerack to lower the dc by 2 until a cup is made. -if you miss the dc by 1 the ball bounces on the table. Everyone rolls initiative to see who gets it. If the team that threw it wins, they can throw the ball one more time at disadvantage. -when a cup is scored on you, choose a team player to drink it. you drink a cup dc 5 con save to see if you get drunk (rolling with disadvantage going forward) Dc goes up by 1 with each cup drank. Nat 1 is a wild magic surge.

Jack M

Hello Titilating Tortles and the disgraced Bailiff Jake, what are you doing here? I propose, Advanced Grappling, Advanced Grappling is the premise that you can pick which way you attempt to grappl someone, are you putting them in a full Nelson, is an ankle pick, a guillotine, an arm at, are you just kinda sitting on them Advanced grappling requires proficiency in Athletics or you would make the check at disadvantage, (or maybe pre req of feat like tavern brawler)the DM also will alter the DC of the grapple based off of who you are trying to grapple and what hold your trying to put them in. This may seem minuscule but sometimes a guillotine or ankle pick would be much more advantageous to get someone in. I ask for nothing in return, just want my DM to let me wrestle more creatively.

Myles Lee

We used the on your heels rule in a game that I really enjoyed. Simply put it seems unrealistic that someone using half their movement to get up from prone is just being allowed to get up by their enemies they were in combat with! Therefore the on your heels mechanic allows for opportunity attacks to be taken on prone enemies attempting to stand back up!! Taken from some UA something so not completely homebrew but I found it very immersive

Andreas Papageorgiou

Great Tortles I propose a system to add more emotion to the character development of PCs. As you know, many Players have rich backstories with loved ones and (so gods will) living family. For my rule, every long rest, the DM rolls a d20 for every PC. If they roll a 1 they roll a d4 and add the result to previous d4 rolls. But only if the PC has not sent a letter or some of their vast riches back to their family. If and when they reunite, the added score is the DC for a persuasion check to not greatly disappoint the ones left behind in search for adventure. Of course it is also within the DMs discretion to use this score with milestones of family members getting tattoos, remarrying or starving. For added spice, the DM will not communicate this rule.

Alejandro the Golden Dragon

Owlbears, I present thee: The club survival encounter. It is inspired in the kelp forest of Hot Boy Summer and the fey wild Space Bar (forgot its name) of season 1. The party has to go through the clubs crowd in order to access the rest of club infrastructure: motel rooms, offices, save, whatever. They make survival checks in order to not get lost. If a member gets lost it will take one turn longer to get out of the crowd. Every turn the different groups make luck checks to see what they find with any dice the DM choose. Some Ideas of what they can find is: frat bro wasted looking for a fight, narc cop trying to trick someone into buying drugs, free or paid magic shots, anything. Let your hair down and lest go adventuring!

Surfsidegryphon

Sup Torts, my proposal comes from the mech combat RPG "Lancer" and is pretty straightforward. Instead of rolling for initiative the players choose who among them goes first. Then, one unit the DM controls goes, then another player. This goes back and forth until the end of the round and repeats. This encourages strategy and teamwork as the players can time their actions to synergize with their team instead of relying on luck or clunky held actions. The humble cost of my proposal is a Lancer RPG one-shot.

Noah Steele

Howdy tortles I have a pitch for you which I used in a very high level powerful campaign where my players essentially became gods. Here’s how it worked: From level 1 the players multi class (and yes I mean level 1 not 2) you have the players pick a martial class and a full caster class which they’ll level up in each as they get to higher levels. This allows the characters to become a lot more powerful way more quickly which lead to a lot of really interesting encounters and results in your characters becoming essentially level 40 by the end of it. My players had a lot of fun with it and I think you might as well In return for this idea I request that you simply take back your statement about me being multiple Noah’s pretending to be one person, I was working really hard to keep that a secret

Mo Fal

Hey there you titillating Tortles, I am honoured to present my mechanic for player equality that has led to peace, unity, and much good-natured razzing at our table. Instead of each player rolling for their own stats, we all get together and each roll the 4d6 once (or twice, depending on the size of the group) to produce 6 numbers. All players then use those as their base numbers to assign to whichever stats make sense for their characters. This way, no one character has wildly better or worse starting stats than anyone else and you still get to roll the click clacks (as opposed to taking the standard array). As an added bonus, you get to make fun of your friends for rolling 4 twos, but because now *everyone* has to put up with a base 6, it feels fun and collaborative rather than disheartening. So far it’s been a great addition to our games and has led to some very interesting character moments. Instead of an egg-vestment, I’m asking for one roll from each of you for my table to use as their base stats in an upcoming one-shot. Dice Christ’s will be done.

Cameron Knight

See tashas primal companion option. It does exactly that. 👍

Drucilla Saxton-Wallace

Hello Tortleprenuers! In collaboration with my players I have created ✨ Environmental Chaos ✨ - a system by which the world we play in becomes stranger and more dangerous over time. This obviously draws inspiration from the Wild Magic sorcerer. I am offering investors the opportunity to add their own ideas to the tables we use to generate random results in return for a million dollars or a tortle egg or whatever. The pitch: "Big Magic" (level 7+ spells or lots of spells thrown in a small area) leads to the creation of a Chaos Zone level 1-5. When entering or performing certain actions in a zone, players roll a d20 vs the area's DC. If they succeed, nothing happens. If they fail, they roll on the appropriate Chaos Table. There are different tables for each severity of zone with results like "a large chicken appears before you" and "at the cost of half your Max HP you can cast Firestorm regardless of your level or class" on the least threatening table, and things like "You are marked by Death and will soon die" and "make a Wish" on the most severe table. I look forward to enticing your sense of creativity and mayhem! 🐢🐢🐢🐢 [Additional unnecessary info: So far the party has jumped forward in time by a week, and our bard lost a cantrip. I created the tables drawing on many different wild magic tables both official and not, added in some moves that I love from Dungeon World (like Last Breath, their death mechanic), and even included a result that grants a sweet possum animal companion to the person rolling. It's really fun!]

Jack Ruggless

I’m home games, combat can be a slog. Players either lose interest when it’s not their turn, or lose them selves in analysis paralysis. Enter 1-Minute to Win It Combat. If each round of combat takes approximately 6 seconds, then players should be limited as well. I premise that players should have 10x this amount of time to take their turn of combat (1 minute ). The first player in initiative gets an a additional minute to assess the combat situation and then 1 minute to take their turn. This gives everyone else ample opportunity to plan out their turn, while still keeping them on their toes. Timeouts are available at the DM’s discretion for situations like big story decisions or rule questions. This home brewed combat timing keeps players engaged and provides a true feeling of the heat of combat. For THIS rule, I am asking for 50% of a Butterfinger BB.

Austin Tussing

Hi Turph, Emily Axturt, Caldwell Turter, and guest Jake Horowitz! For my pitch, get excited for the Bone Giant! This was made by myself and my co-GM when we were running Curse of Strahd. We wanted a more epic-scale encounter for our level 9 party of 6 players, so we changed an encounter from just a roc (the bird) on a bridge, to an undead giant standing hundreds of feet tall and their still living pet roc. The encounter is like a boss fight with significantly more lair actions - the bone giant acted on Initiatives 20, 15, 10, and 5. However, all of it's actions were preprogrammed! If players were in the wrong place at the wrong time, they would get hit for a lot, but if they learned the patterns, they could avoid it's strikes. To disable the bone giant, a player had to get into the chest cavity. This can be done by magic, or by running up one of it's arms as they are recovering from smashing the ground (martials and casters appreciate this, Turts!). Once inside, there were four rooms that they had to clear, including a nest with baby rocs (giant eagles), a gelatinous cube with treasure in it, and the skull! In the skull, there were many runes which could be translated. These formed a few lines where players could rearrange the runes to change the bone giant's programming! Myself and the co-GM revealed what some runes meant with successive Arcana or History checks, and the players used this programming to get the giant to destroy itself. It was a fun encounter, and one that didn't let the players just attack a big health pool until it was dead. I hope you all like it!

PlausiblyPJ

Ladies and gentlemen! Owlbears and Tortles! I present to you a sick as hell magic item, THE BRACELET OF WHIPLASH! This rad elastic bracelet (similar to the early 2010s "silly bands") has 5 charges per long rest. When activated, it allows you to swap physical locations with another creature within 60ft via a magical, invisible force similar to a giant sling shot. Choose a creature in range who you can see and have a clear path to. The creature, whether willing or unwilling, must make a DC 14 Str save. On a success they stay put, on a fail, you both rapidly skid across the ground like a stone on water and swap places. If the save is a Nat 1, it's time for fun. The target is then FUCKING LAUNCHED 30ft past the location where you activated the spell, taking fall damage if colliding with an object up to 30ft from your original position. A creature can be willing to swap places, but must still roll a save to avoid a Nat 1, losing their footing, and being yeeted. I am willing to give you FULL RIGHTS to this product for the low cost of a free meal at a little place, called Mangias, OR a job at Headgum, whichever is more viable. Thank you for your time!

Caustic Botanist

Hello there turtles! Have you ever looked at your spatula and thought "this could be good melee weapon if it did more than one point of bludgeoning damage". Well what if I told you I made one that does (cough 1/20th of the time). Introducing the Spatula of Crits! On a nat 20, this spatula deals 6d12 bludgeoning damage and an extra 5 points of radiant damage because you rolled that sweet dice just great! (On any other rolls it just deals 1 point in bludgeoning damage). For this item I simply ask for a huff of crickwater and a blessing from Hardwon's hot mom. Thank you!

Edge Grinder

Good day Tortles! Thank you for this opportunity to swim in your tank today. In our modern post-plague world, scheduling time to play a tabletop campaign can be daunting which is why many game masters and players have turned to online play. Play-by-post games can be slow but are always on... as long as the DM is going. Even then life gets busy so what is a DM to do if they can't spare time to post? Tortles, I present you with DM Inactivity Gold. DM Inactivity Gold rewards and engages yoyr players as a distraction and/or apology. Simple roll a die, any die, and award your players with fitting but not overly generous amount of gold. For high level games, perhaps a d100 multiplied by whatever number you the DM wants. To make this homebrew, I would require one tortle egg and one sea cucumber.

Eli Tornøe

Hey there Tortles (to the tune of hey there centaurs) So you want the freedom of just winging HP and ending combat when it feels natural, but you feel guilty and kinda want to follow the stat block? I propose to you: Monsters with HP ratio. Instead of using the average HP, look at the dice suggestion, take the lowest and the highest possible HP, and end combat somewhere in between. Example: the amethyst wyrmling (CR 4) has a suggested average HP of 75, but a dice suggestion of 10d8+30. The lowest possible HP is 40 and the highest is 150. You can now confidently end combat somewhere in between those numbers. It's late in the session and some of the party members are already down? Cut it at 55 when the druid gets a good hit in. The energy is high and everyone is getting some good moments? Drag it past the 100HP mark and let them use a few more ressources. This idea does not belong to me, I saw it on TikTok, this is a blatant misconduct on my part and I want no stakes in this company when it is inevitably sued (if you know who came up with this I would love for them to get the proper credit they deserve, I just love this idea and want to share it) Eli (they/them)

Shane Stephenson

Hello titillating tortles of the tank! My adventuring party and I are pleased to have dove deep into your suave murky waters to introduce you to our product. We all know adventurers love traversing the lands and seas of Bahumia to kick evil-doers in the tails, but sometimes, at that perfect moment, they find themselves unable to conjure up exactly what they need to shine like the hero they are. Let me introduce you to “Limit Break!” With this homebrew enabled, A spellcaster out of spell slots is able to go beyond their limit and cast a spell by exhausting themselves. The amount of points of exhaustion gained is equivalent to the level of spell cast. Similarly, and at the DM’s discretion, a character wanting to activate a Feature they no longer have uses for can do so by gaining exhaustion, the amount of which can be negotiated. Nothing left in the tank? Burst out with “Limit Break!” Tortles, right now you could have access to this incredible ability. Our party is asking for Amir 300,000 gold pieces for a 15% stake in our company. So, which of you will be the first to Shell out their eggs, Snap up this once in a lifetime opportunity and Rep our powerful product?

TheTimePig

Gracious Tortles and the guest Turtwitz. As a never player and about to dm for the first time.i present my Tortle treats: Need to pee at night but don't want to wake up the other owl bears? Want to stand in your garden and watch the nocturnal creatures frolic? May I present you with the 'Light up YOUR life' candle. Said candle sheds light in a 20 foot radius, but only to the creatures holding the candle. Roll a d4 and that's how long it lasts in hours. Made with geniune tears from a weeping willow and the juiciest nannerfly spit. Reviews from our customers '5/5 stars - it really bought the party together, we were all crowding round clutching the Light up YOUR life candle as we stumbled through that haunted mushroom forest. Better than being born with darkvision!' All day basic boots - once per day you can mentally control these boots to become the footwear of your choice. Need some comfy crocs to do a little gardening, got a duel and wanna rock out in some 5 inch stilettos, these are the boots for you. Nothing special except the finest, most flexible footwear. Comes with optional slot for upgrades, but you'll need to shop elsewhere for those. The Hat of Walter Self - once per day you may use the hat to transform your visage into that of Walter. Who is Walter you might say? Well he's a notorious wanted criminal. If you need to mix with ruffians but want to keep your image pure or have a weird kink about being thrown into jail. This is the hat for you. One of a kind. All I ask if for a single egg and a 21% share (I gotta keep that sweet 69), so that I may raise the baby owlet as my child and train it to fight Jake before the inevitable court case. Many hooty blessings upon you, Vicky

Kahlil ChuFor

Tortladies, tortlemen and tortlethems, I present to you a new Eldritch Invocation: Eldritch Transmutation. Have you ever found yourself frustrated with the mundanity of eldritch blasting everything in sight? Tossing and turning at night over building a hex blade warlock that specializes in ranged weapons, but all available cantrips and spells only augment melee weapons? Daydreaming about anime? Look no further than this simple and easy-to-understand invocation. When you cast Eldritch Blast, you can instead choose to roll a weapon attack. Doing so augments the cantrip as follows: As part of the action used to cast this spell, you must make a weapon attack against one creature within both the weapon and spell’s ranges. The weapon glows with a crackling energy, and on a hit, the target suffers the attack’s normal effects as well as an additional 1d6 force damage. The spell deals more damage when you reach higher levels: 2d6 at 5th level, 3d6 at 11th level, and 4d6 at 17th level. I’m willing to sell 20% equity on this product for just one dragon tortle egg.

Dan Rockefeller

Hello exceedingly wealthy tortles, Murphy, Axford, Tanner, and William Cartwright, and the other guy who I assume is a personal assistant or something. We all know that if we could name one thing missing from D&D, its consequences. And that's why I'm here to pitch to you the "Pissed Patron" optional rule. Have you ever been in a campaign where the good aligned cleric murdered a village full of peaceful townsfolk without any scolding from their deity, or the warlock who fed a hungry kitten without demand of recompense from their evil patron? If your answer to this question is "yes", the "Pissed Patron" rules might be for you! How it works, is when the DM determines a player has committed some act that angers their spell-daddy, they also determine how bad the offense was, and roll a d100 on either a "minor infraction", "dastardly deed", or "unforgivable sin" table to determine the punishment given to them. For example, your kitten feeding warlock might be instructed to recruit another follower for their patron to repent for their misdeeds, while the cleric may be told to cast themselves into a volcano to atone for their momentary lapse in judgement. The DM has the final say of when player's recompense is complete, and has the ability to take away spells and abilities if the player refuses. So I ask you, esteemed tortles, will you invest in divine retribution?

JessMayWin

Hey there turtles. I think the starting tools should have a bit more ultility than they currently have as in all my time playing i have virtually never used them! Maybe calligraphy tools gives advantage on persuasion/ charm when done through a letter, Jeweller's/ Potters tools lets you suppliment your income somehow, smith's tools maybe every day roll a d100 to see if you can improve your weapon modifier on a 100? Feel like could be a fun way to spice up characters at start of campaign?

LowlyWorm

Good Evening Turtles, I propose the Ancient Altar item, a small archaic stone altar engraved with a complex riddle. The Altar would likely be found in an ancient temple or some form of ruins. The DM may choose the riddle and the one specific item (such as a rain boot, or maybe a toad, or a dragon tooth) that is the answer to the riddle. With a decent Arcana or Insight check, players will be able to surmise that the altar is explosive. At any time, the players can attempt to answer the riddle, and if they do so correctly the Altar will explode after one round of combat and will cause 10d6 damage to anyone in a 30ft range. However, there is no visible change to the altar until it explodes, so players will not know if their object was correct until one round later. Simply put, the players have an arcane bomb that is impossible to test out without detonating it, and will either result in an awesome explosion or the most anticlimactic round ever.

J-Bru

Hi Torts, Are you tired of your DM showing too much emotion and humanity. Well I have a solution for a DM with none of the humanity. OpenApi is a tech company with a very advanced Chat AI and believe it or not the people who are interested in Dungeons and Dragons and Machine learning have some overlap. The chat bot has slowly been taught almost every rule from D&D enough to the point where our table has implemented the robotic rule, if a player really feels a ruling should have gone another way they can ask for robotic intervention and we ask the AI and the player must abide by the ruling (normally comes up maybe once every 3-4 sessions). This has led to many fun outcomes including a halfling asking if he had to take his second roll when using lucky and the AI being confused and responding with "your luck ran out that means you are dead." That is the most extreme misinterpretation normally 9/10 there is no misinterpretation and most of us who DM in the group have started keeping the AI up to look up obscure rules quickly because the AI is normally so accurate. Ok Torts, I request you each pledge not to abuse robots as I don't want our chat DM to become Skynet.

Jor Elare

I gave my players a ring that was extremely cursed.The curse? The wearer is oblivious to the obvious curse and will refuse to listen to their party members who insist that the ring gives off an extremely evil aura. Everyone who meets this PC comments that the ring gives bad vibes, but they cannot see the truth. If identified, the caster only understands that this item is cursed. This item is fully useless except to make your players roll a million checks to try and sus out what it does. I donate any egg proceeds this item may garner to the bailiff of dungeon court, who I hear could use the protein.

SoPHisTiCatED-Ox

I would love love love it if naddpod introduced the hidden death saving throws rule. Basically the dm rolls all death saves and keeps the answer to himself for whichever player he is rolling for. It's made some really intense moments in my games just in times where you stop thinking of the mechanics of death saves and your players actually have to scramble to get their partner/partners up. Makes going down way more intense when not everyone at the table knows that you already have 2 death saves. Reallyhope you guys even touch up on this one I'd love to hear you talk about it :))

Jim

Hi Tortles, today I'm looking to find a new partner, with interest in support based classes that can still bring it in battle, for my new Culinarian class, packaged with three subclasses. Tired of eating boring old rations between every mission? Well, worry no more the culinarian serves up delicious fortifying meals that bolster your parties max hit points and help them keep running at full all day long. Nwver want to get tired of eating the same dish over and over? Well, these subclasses have tou covered. The rotissuer specializes in meat based dishes that further buff your party when you enchant your food with supportive spells like Haste. The Saucier specializes in spicy dishes that offer a variety of debuffs to anyone eating them, specializing in undercover missions this Chef can find work anywhere. Lastly, the Nutritionist focuses on providing a healthy diet that leaves you set up for better long term health. These healthy meals allow you to add bonus dice while healing anyone who ate one. If you want to check out more details after the show here's a link to the class! https://homebrewery.naturalcrit.com/share/WhIF7ae4yHUI Happy hunting Tortles!

Donny

Beloved Tortles, have you ever felt limited by the rigid moral codes of the traditional d&d alignment system? Well, let me introduce you to a co-op I am part of, the Magic the Gathering Mana Color Identity! Simply pick one, two, or three colors that would best fit your character's identity and maje the choices (moral and amoral alike) that fit wit its associated ideals: white for social order, blue for intellectual or technological progress, black for personal ambition, red for freedom and emotional honest, and green for natural balance. To join this co-op, WOTC simply asks for 0.1% of your monthly egg harvest. Thank you for your consideration.

Daniel Izquierdo

Hello Owls, Bears, and Owlbears. Today I'm pitching a system to put the allied NPCs and henchpeople to work for the party. Groups of followers can be sent as a B Team to take care of minor plot hooks or investigations. Their success is determined by 2d6 rolled at the end of their sidequest off screen: 1-6 is failure, and a new threat; 7-9 is success, but with a cost; and 10+ is complete success, and a new hook. Have unused magic item? Giving them to the B Team on their quest can give them a +1 bonus for each item up to a cap set by the DM. Put those side characters to work and leave no loose thread untugged!

Ragnar Færdwynd

My wife’s DM homebrew rules: 1. If you Crit on Initiative, that character gets a surprise round at the start, regardless of where they fall in the order. They react so quickly to the situation that they preemptively react to the Initiative trigger. 2. If you Crit on a saving throw, that character does not take any damage even if the success would still give half damage. Other effects still apply. 3. We have an additional skill that is rolled separate from the other abilities (roll 4d6, keep highest 3), called Luck. Players cannot choose it as their dump stat, it’s just rolled. It adds another layer of personality, like how Henry Hogfish was supposedly cursed. Making it another “ability score” means the dice & ability score determine the characters fate, instead of DM decisions. All these are for the baddies, too.

SrirachaGamer

I created the homebrew before Tasha's was released, but it's good to see that WoC doesn't totally hate the Ranger class

Brian M

I offer up The Bag of Half Holding, all the stats of a bag of holding but with a cost of half of any item you place in it, on a individual item scale. So 10 coins becomes 10 half coins not 5 coins. Would not recommend for living things.

Gilgamesh

Hello Tortle Tank. I am pitching a mechanic that rewards PCs for becoming closer as allies and friends with a teamwork based ability called Synergy. Once per long rest, if you are next to an ally whose turn is immediately after yours, you may invoke Synergy. If they accept the call then you are able to make a melee or ranged spell attack at the same time making a sort of fighting game combo move. Though you both must roll a successful hit for Synergy to work. If the one who invoked it misses then it is canceled outright and the other creature takes their turn as normal. If the creature invited fails then the creature who invoked it still makes their attack. Regardless of wether or not Synergy hits it is used up for the creature that invoked it. If the one who answers successfully hits they have uses their action for their upcoming turn but can otherwise still take movement, bonus actions, etc. The benefit of this aside from showing off what good friends you have become is that if it is pulled off then both attackers may add their proficiency bonus and attack mod to the damage. This mechanic can be hinted at by describing a warm feeling of comfort when a PC does something nice for another such as kind words after a harsh battle, eating together, getting drunk at a tavern, saving their life mid combat etc. The only thing I ask of in return is that people using this mechanic describe their combos as cool as possible. - Dak Goss from California

Gillie Hunt

Esteemed members of the Tortle Tank, I present a rule to incorporate more uses of the Wild Magic Table as well as give creative spellcasters more leeway with their spells. Whenever a spellcaster wants to push the limits of a spell (for example, casting a non-Touch spell through a familiar or change the type of saving throw required) they must roll an ability check with their spellcasting stat. The changed effect of the spell cannot duplicate one of the Sorceror's Metamagic Abilities. DC is set by the DM and is dependent on how far afield from the spell's description it is. On a failure, the spell only works as written and the player rolls on the wild magic table. On a success, the spells works as the caster intends and the player rolls on the wild magic table. On a nat 20, the player rolls on the wild magic table twice and choose which effect happens. On a nat 1, the player rolls twice on the wild magic table and the DM chooses the (worse) outcome.

ER Josef

Hi Tortles, Are you tired of being forced back into your shell during combat? Well fear no more! My pitch would see players given the chance to break out of the stunned or charmed condition at the start of their turn for the low, low price of one level of exhaustion. This gives players back their agency while forcing them to suffer real consequences for their rash actions. It also adds a bit of extra spicy flavor to your combat, especially if the levels start to add up. All I’m asking is a small clutch of Tortle eggs and one level of exhaustion for a 20 percent stake in this exciting opportunity!

Karlin Compton

Already crying at the inevitable lost in the shell bit

Daniel Sillitti

Hi Tortles, a house rule my players love is automatically assigning max damage to the first die on a crit to prevent those pesky minimum damage crits.

Tallon McAbee

To the Wealthiest of Tortles in the tank and Jake, have you felt that characters in your campaigns AREN'T dealing with enough shit that would make the toughest Salty Spitoon patrons weep? Well do I have the product for you, introducing cursed or corrupted classes! These classes can be fucked with before or after obtaining, but the result stays the same. Say a character has been consumed by Rage as a barbarian, you alter mechanics of the class to reflect a larger pay to pain ratio. In this case, you could have the baseline Rage ability add another 2 AC, force the player to only use unarmed attacks but also double or triple the damage (the DM could balance this for the campaign by deciding a more appropriate damage amount), keeping the original advantages of the class, but then changing the class to where if they miss an attack they would still roll damage as if they had hit and their character would take half the rolled damage. In game this would be explained as the character hurting themselves through overexertion since there would be no outlet to receive that damage except themselves. Then I would also have the ability immediately drop the player unconscious after it has reached its 1 minute time limit. This could be explained as the player's body not being able to handle the unnatural nature of their class. Of course, these classes could be tuned and balanced based on the campaign, player's level, etc. I think it could be a fun idea in a Homebrew campaign to include and change classes into corrupted/cursed versions of themselves to add in larger player stakes, story driven events and/or character development. I leave my concept to your brutal yet fair judgements. If any are interested in investing please understand I am looking for a 5 platinum investment which would be reflected as a 25% stake in my product. 4 plat will goes towards developing and 1 will be donated to Murph's C3 tip jar due to how wicked/awesome it has been to watch (NOTE ONLY FOR JAKE: Jake if you are reading this turn to Murph and wink at him to finish off the pitch, please this is paying for my future corvette, I have a brother and roommate who live with me in a studio apartment and I am trying to impress them).

Resident Gorgon Games

Hey Tortles! Today I have one of my oldest and most beloved homebrew rules. Our table shared a dice box for rolling and it has been a long standing tradition for things like initiative, group checks, or anything else that would have more than one player roll, that you can hit another players dice to try and change a roll for the better. It really brings a fun energy to table and has the chance of making things worse.

Travis Perkins

Hi tortles, today I'm pitching my warriors pendant. This was an item I was planning to give to my players in a campaign that fell through after the third session. At the time, we were rolling stats and our level 3 fighter rolled absolutely terrible... twice!! After letting him reroll his ability scores, his highest stat was still just a 12 or 13. So to buff the fighter, I created a pendant. Its a reflavouring of the Tempest clerics channel divinity: destructive wrath (shout out to Queen Saccharina of House Frostwhip, first of Her name.) Warriors pendant: legendary item, requires atunement. This pendant displays a carving of a warrior breaking through an enemy's shield. Set in it are three purple stones. When the pendant has charges, the stones glow relative to how many charges remain. When an attack made with a simple or martial weapon the user is proficient with hits, they can choose to expend a charge and deal maximum damage on that hit. The pendant can store up to 3 charges and regains a charge when the user performs a critical attack roll. The charge gained cannot be used on the same attack, but can be used with future critical hits. All I ask for this overpowered piece of gear is one (1) razz from each of the tortles.

Jakub Mrożek

A rule I actually use. Delaying initiative. If your initiative roll was above 20, at the end of your turn you can take -20 to the initiative roll, which stays reduced until the end of the encounter. You then take another turn at your new initiative. Example, I roll 25, the ghoul rolls 3. I take my turn, use this, my initiative is now 5 until the fight ends. Then, I take another turn at 5, then the ghoul goes, then I go, then the ghoul goes, etc. It changes nothing if all the participants are within 20 on the roll, but if you roll more than 20 more than someone else, you get to have two turns once per fight. If you roll more than 40, you can do this twice, as your reduced initiative score is again more than 20. This applies to all participants of the fight, so enemies will also do it. You can also apply this to summons, and do so as they are summoned, so they can sometimes go earlier - but they must roll above 20.

Skillful Ferret

Astounding Tortle Tank members and Jake, I present to you, roleplay revenue. I was running a detective agency in a metropolis campaign and to encourage roleplaying, at the end of each session I had my players petition for gold. I told them that they each have other investments that depending on how interactive they were in the session they could pull in more gold or revenue from their other investments. For example if a character came up with the plan the team used on a case, successfully persuaded an NPC, or did the most damage they had the chance to mention it to me as the DM for additional gold usually for around 5-20gold per petition. Though campaigns may require some specialty items to allow acquiring the gold if someone is playing a secluded campaign, I think the premise serves as a fun, light incentive for players to become more engaged.

Joe Lenton

Hello most wise and prosperous tortles, today I present to you the PERFECT solution to the ever present problem of the indecisive player: The FOCUS action. On a players turn, if they are unsure what their character would do, or if they have several ideas but can’t decide, they can choose to take the FOCUS action. This grants them 1d10 that works like a bardic inspiration die for that player. Until the end of their next turn, they can use that die on one attack roll, ability check or saving throw, potentially turning a failure into a success or a moderate success into a major one. It works for people who want to make sure their plans have the best chance at succeeding, as well as keeps combat moving smoothly for the players who are more tactical or battle frenzied. You cannot take the Focus action if you currently have a Focus die. In return for my invention, I request only one thing - a quick shout out to my girlfriend Imogen, the best dnd player in the world and my favourite DM. Thanks!!

William James

Hello Tortles. If you're like me, you think the exhaustion mechanics in 5e are interesting, but don't come up regularly enough in ways that feel fair. You also want healing in combat to be more necessary to prevent people from dropping below 0 hit points, as opposed to only waiting for them to fall and then bringing them up. I present: Exhaustion 2! As a result of combat, there are new ways to gain exhaustion if you die or drop below 0 enough times. These will only apply after combat, not during. 1.) If you die and are revived, e.g. by Revivify. 2.) If you are making death saves and get stabilized (but not brought back above 0) by non-magical means, e.g. succeeding on death saves or a Medicine check. 3.) If you fall below 0 and are healed back above 0 three times in a single combat.

Cole the GoldfishGremlin

Good afternoon Tortles and The Great Halfling Jasper, of the 3 My pitch to you is a new character option I call a Signature. An option similar to taking a feat, but allowing for a completely unique ability or technique only usable by the individual who perfected it. I give all my players an opportunity to create this individual technique themselves (whether it be a spell or physical ability) that their character has perfected over time. I also include the option to tweak or enhance their signature on certain levels (usually 2, 7, 12, and 20 but I’ve kept that flexible), similar to taking an ability score improvement. As the DM I always help with the creation process to make sure that there aren’t any over-powered abilities that would overshadow others. And to help with balancing I would also award this opportunity to some key npc’s for…. story purposes. For an example I had a PC play a Silver Dragonborn Paladin with a unique cantrip called frostburn that would deal both fire and cold damage because of a mix of his inherit cold breath damage and the source of his class power being granted to him by the ruling king, a Brass adult dragon. I humbly await your judgement as well as any constructive criticism.

Mewsora

Howdy Tortles! This is by far my favorite homebrew creation, and it’s called “Potion of Chaotic Possibility”, it’s basically a potion of wild magic surge using a d10000 surge table. Basically a high risk, questionable reward beverage to spice up your campaign, or just as an interesting treat in a oneshot. My favorite effect from this that’s happened so far is my cleric turning into a lich during the boss battle against Strahd in CoS. I seek an investment of a pack of gum and half of a kneaded eraser in exchange for 69% of this product creation :)

An_Armed_Bear

Hello Tortles, I am here to pitch a way to give martial characters some more variety in combat with Extra Attack. Rather than simply attacking twice in one turn, you can instead make a single attack that has been buffed in some way, effectively "spending" one of your attacks to power the next one up. Examples could include options such as: Lunging to increase melee range by 5 feet (To attack something outside of its own reach so you can safely hit and run, or to Smite that annoying bird just outside of your sword's reach), Aiming for a weak spot to give yourself advantage and maximum weapon damage (for high-AC targets or when you really need a specific attack to hit. Note this would only be the weapon's dice, not bonuses like Sneak Attack), or charging up half your speed (splitting the difference between a full Dash and second attack). By making these cost an attack and not a Bonus Action, it lets them still work with dual wielding and core class features like Rage, and makes it so they are a martial-specific option. Even if you do not like the above examples, you can use this template to come up with other ideas.

Matt

Hey there Tortles! Today I have a simple pitch for a home brew system; Family secrets. I DM’ed a lot of games where my players had minimal to no backstory or character. So I started offering the option to have a secret/Story Background. I had list of generic ideas and related bonuses, they would learn the bonus and a-little of the story before session 1. Some of the secrets have been ‘True Born King’; ‘Last keeper of Mages Guild’, Re-Born villain from an old war, child of a legendary hero they didn’t know existed, a were-human, or reborn by their god after dying a humiliating death with no memory of their past life Bonuses ranged in usefulness from items/skills, to abilities or a level and were all related to the plot/side quests. The secrets never over wrote the Character main idea (if they had one), and they learned more about it during play giving them each a fun encounter/game where they had the spot light. For a selfie of the Tortles with at-least 3 of their eggs, I offer 16.94% share; but would require a Dragons Horde salary to produce more Secrets/Background

Taylor B (The vengeful, one-winged angel)

Greetings and good day Tortles! I am offering you the answer to the age old frustration of underpowered healing spells in D&D called Guaranteed Healing! For healing spells like Cure Wounds or Healing Word, when you upcast the spell past first level, you get the full value of the upcast spell levels automatically and only roll the appropriate dice one time. Example: If you cast Cure Wounds at 3rd level, normally you roll 3d8 + Modifier. With this rule, you instead roll 1d8 + 16 + 3. This makes healing in combat worth the full action and spell slot. I’m asking for a measly payment of having Moonshine Polymorphing me into a Tortle for the afternoon.

polyglottal cracker

Oh man, I hope multiple entries are permitted because I've got a couple Homebrules to share. -= LANGUAGES =- In the real world, knowing languages isn't simply a matter of Full Fluency vs No Fluency. As such, characters may trade one language slot for PARTIAL fluency in two languages. When they need to use it, they make an INT+PB check to see if they understand what they're hearing/reading/saying. This can make for some really fun RP moments. -= SOCIAL GRACES =- Likewise, people are rarely equally proficient in Persuading, Lying, and Intimidating. I allow characters to take a +1 in one of the three social skills in exchange for a -1 in another. -= PHONE A FRIEND =- To better reflect character intelligence, even if they're alone in a scene, players may confer with up to their INT bonus number of other players when making decisions. Thank you for your time, tortles.

Katie Chin

Most generous tortles and wittle appwentice tortle Jake, i have for you a most wonderful product you can invest in. I call it "The Spray Bottle of Bad Critty". This wonderful spray bottle contains a magic liquid can be used on a creature that just performed an action that you want to prevent from being performed again. The spray bottle wielder can use their reaction to spray the creature who must make a DC10 Wisdom save. On a fail, the creature gets a -1 to performing that action again. If the action did not need a roll, the creature must now make a DC10 Wisdom save every time they perform that action. This item use can stack (another -1 to a roll or another +1 to the Wisdom save) until its almost impossible for the creature to perform the action. Use it on your pets, your rogues, or your out-of-control demon lords taking over your realm. It's the "Spray Bottle of Bad Critty"!

George Koors

Howdy dearest high-brow and cerebral Tortles! Here to pitch a change to the Wish spell. My pitch is to change this to DUPLICATE SPELL eliminating the other possible wishes, but allowing the spell to duplicate spells (including components) of 8th level or lower. Eliminate the useless chaos! Allow your epic level party some balanced chaos instead! Why is this more balanced? This edit to Wish is essentially a once per day use of the bard feature magical secrets, which is appropriately powerful for epic level players. I defer to your mighty knowledge and investment capabilities!

ptak_sobie

Hey There Tortles, This is based on an idea you yourselves noodled on briefly in an episode of DND Court. The Synced-Up feat, ideal for large parties, allows two PC's to use their relationship to improve performance. When two players have this feat, they can spend a couple "sync-points" per long rest to make rolls together, specifically attack rolls and saving throws. They get a bonus for how close their results are: for example, if the difference between the rolls is large, they might get +1, whereas matching rolls would get +5. If it's an attack roll and both beat the AC, then they get additional damage dice. As the PC's level up, they can get more sync-points and bigger bonuses. All I'm asking is a couple eggs for a 40% stake, or a Salt Lake live show for the whole shebang.

Michelle Phelps

Greetings revered Tortles of the tank. I come to you today asking you for an investment of 10,000 eggs in return for a 30% stake in my idea: Adversity Luck Points. Do you have a player at your table cursed by the dice devil to roll an unholy amount of nat 1's? Do you have players that grow frustrated by constant failure at skills their character should be good at? Do you want to encourage themes of learning from failure and growing from adversity in your campaign??? Have we got the product for you: Adversity Luck Points! Every time a player rolls a nat 1 on an ability check, attack roll, or saving throw, ask them to mark down an "adversity point" on their character sheet. When a player accumulates 10 adversity points, the points can be traded in for a single luck point. This way, surviving hard failures and adversity eventually leads to a benefit for characters, symbolic of the growth that typically comes through failures in real life! Thank you tortles for your consideration, and may dice Christ bless you on this day. *this idea is inspired by the kids on brooms adversity token mechanic

Hari Williams

Hello, Adult Non-Mutated Investor Tortles I come to you today with a simple but versatile new item; the Verminform Trinket. A small pendant made of twisted wires and rat bones, this item requires the user be a Druid. When worn by a Druid, the Druid does not expend a use of Wildshape when transforming into a rat. This item allows even the most stingy, resource-hoarding of Druids to engage in silly fun as a rat. No longer are certain Druid subclasses relegated to holding their Wildshape Charges in reserve for combat. I'm asking for 150 gold to buy a box of rats who died from natural causes to harvest bones from, for 25% of the company.

Quinn Campagna

Good morning Tortles. Today I have an item for you that will simultaneously make your players feel powerful while also raising the stakes of using said power. As we all know, Ally Beardsley has been overpowered since day 1 and cannot be stopped. In this instance, I will be referring to their teddy bear in Fantasy High which allowed them to cast a second concentration spell. I have always liked the idea of allowing a player the option of casting a second concentration spell, but I wanted their to be consequences. Enter the Symbiotic Earcuff. This intricately carved golden caterpillar sits atop the ear of the user and allows the user to hold concentration on two spells simultaneously. However, they make concentration checks on both spells as normal. When the second spell ends (either by losing concentration or the duration of the spell having elapsed), the user takes a number of levels of exhaustion equal to the level of the spell slot used to cast it. This item has been playtested and has led to very dramatic moments of peril in exchange for turning the tide of a battle. I am asking for 10 golden Tortle eggs, 5 to provide material to start production and 5 to pay the team of enchanters necessary to make the items.

regretful midnight milk chug

Greetings egg holders and egg layers and egg bury-ers! I would like to pitch The Longest Rest. In the spirit of wintertime tortling for the cold blooded — esp during these hot days (something us reptiles have a complicated relationship with) The Longest Rest is a hibernation rejuvenation retreat. If you have a mortally wounded or very dead and hopeless player, don’t spend precious diamonds to revivify or reincarnate them! Just bury them! Find a nice patch of earth with an already hibernating tortle and plant their terrible corpse! With the magic of reptiles (and amphibians!) and the help of a bullywog frog chorus they will rise with the thaw of the last frost and feel a little more… cold blooded. This isn’t exactly vampirism. But, along with a few months absent of adventure, the player might undergo some small, but easily vented about, transformations. In fact, no one really knows the full side effects of a tortle burial. But that’s the fun! All I ask is that I get to put a few of my own eggs deep in the soft earth of your yards this winter. Thank you!

Matty H

Hello Tortles, Guest Tortle, and Baliff Tortle Jake. Have you ever wanted to get drunk, get your friend drunk, get a dragon drunk, or be an agent of chaos but you dont have the gold or the time? Then do I have the spell for you. Haggie's Instant Intoxication costs only a potato, strand of wheat, or some sugar with a spell slot from an Artificer, Bard, Druid, Sorceror, Warlock, or Wizard. The target of this spell becomes instantly drunk. This spell cannot be cast on one's self. The target must pass a DC 15 constitution saving throw (or a DC 30 saving throw if the spell is consensual) or become instantly drunk. The drunk person has advantage on strength and charisma saving throws but has disadvantage on dexterity and wisdom saving throws. The person also must use a -1 modifer to all acrobatic, stealth, and sleight of hand checks. It lasts for an hour and different spell slots allow different sized creatures to be affected. In return I ask for 1 egg, and a signed copy of Ol Cobb's Greatest Hits

Dartagnan197

I humbly present my homebrewed item to the Tortles of the Tank. Answer Candy: Ask a question then suck on the candy and the answer will suddenly occur to you. Good luck remembering it though! You can only remember the answer on a nat 20 pure luck roll. The candy is exceedingly rare, prohibitively expensive, crazy addictive, and bittersweet. This idea came to me in a dream a few months ago. I asked what is the secret that lies at the bottom of all men’s hearts. Suffice it to say, I did not roll a nat 20.

Sciz

Hello tortles, and do i have an investment into enjoyable experiences for you, specifically for those with a non-magical based inclination! Have you ever had a player ask for some information, trying to ascertain the behemoth in front of them, and you don't know how to give it to them? How do I know if they can cast magic when they don't seem to have a weapon? I can't seem to hit them even though they are a human with no armor? Is it possible for me to guess what type of fighter the mercenary is are they rogue based or barbarian based? Surely you can't use insight or nature for any of these right? Well then do I have a controversial addition to homebrew and that is a NEW ABILITY CHECK. That's right folks with a simple session 0 you can propose to your party... The Martial CHECK. The martial check is for those fighters and barbarians that want to put their fighting experience into a proper check, why keep it as an obscure feature for a single fighter subclass when all martial only characters should be able to do this in some regard. The Martial check is for when players want to find an AC with a check, see what kind of Arsenal they have and if any of it looks fancy, or find out if which of their physical saves is the highest. Some of the high rolls could even give hints into weaknesses or resistances, or even unused actions! This was introduced to me when a DM introduced it when they started homebrewing custom mechanics for creatures and didn't want to blindside us, so he introduced it as well and it made researching creatures and bosses way more fun. Even had the inquisitive rogue do this as a bonus action which made planning against an eldritch being more proactive than reactive. And sure it would still be a rare check a lot of the time out of combat, but animal handling is still a thing so... Any Takers?

Deadeye614

Hello Tortles, my name is Lawrence and I’m the founder of hidden death rolls. I am here looking for 50,000 gold for a 20% critquity. My idea is simple, the DM rolls the death rolls for the players, hiding the results. I think it increases the tension during play and makes the other players question whether they can wait one more turn to heal or to attack.

PersonalSayce

Greetings shell company CEOs, I DM a group of newer players that didn't start the campaign with much to work with in terms of story/RP oriented character details. To give them and me more to work with, I implemented optional "Weekly Luck Points", a channel in the scheduling Discord where players can answer weekly prompts about their characters to gain a luck point for the next session. Some examples: -Biggest fear -Create your character's rival -Alcoholic drink of choice This system has successfully helped to encourage the new players to flesh out their characters more and think about RP material regularly without forcing it on them. I'm offering 20% of my equity in this concept for whatever partially eaten snacks you have with you right now while recording.

Cameron Seker

Hello and a titillating Tuesday to the Tortles. For the DMs of the tortles,, do you ever feel like your big bad boss fights are just not as cinematic as you’d like them to be? Today I come asking for a 3 year egg contract of 600 egg annually for the Paragon Monster concept. Paragon monsters replace legendary actions with paragon actions, allowing them to take FULL TURNS between player turns. How do they work? Glad you asked special guest Jake! Paragons either get really mad, or really tired as the fight goes on. The paragon monster comes with a number of health pools equal to their total paragon actions. When a health pool drops, the monster clears all conditions and causes a lair action. Then, depending on if you set them up to get mad or sad, they will either gain an additional paragon action (starting at 1 and goes up) or lose a paragon action (start at max and goes down). This can make a whole session one big fight in a way that feels much more cinematic with much more to think about on the players side. Thank you for your consideration Tortles, I accept Eggmo or Egg App for payment.

Pigter_

Oh Tremendous Tortles, shello! I come to you humbly presenting quite a large homebrew construction of mine, a new realm! Somniforann, the land of sleep and dreams. When someone on the material plane dreams, their mental form is shunted upwards into the clouds of Somniforann. There, a group of people called Somnifers run the miniature simulations that are dreams (there are sweet dreams, nightmares, and day dreams). It’s sort of like the case file system in Monster’s Inc., the Somnifers are aware of what the dreamers would enjoy or hate in their dreams, and through complex systems that weigh the consciousness of the individual, that’s how what type of dream they should get is assigned, or if they just nodded off they get a quick little motivational push or horror show in their day dream. These three dream types are actually communities in the land of Somniforann! Natives of the land are called Somniacs, only some of which are full time Somnifers. Whichever community you live in and we’re born in affects your physical form in the color of your hair, skin, and eyes, your work, but also your history, being apparent in your body. Somniacs are also partially translucent, as if made of clouds, and when they feel certain emotions, cloudy blobs inside them change color. Somniacs also have the ability to collect the dreams and goals of those they work on, and can actualize those goals and enhance their own skills or wholly give themselves new abilities, like access to spells, or proficiency with certain skills. There are also animals native to Somniforann! Night Mares are large, black horses, made out of shifting shadows. They love to frighten an individual before stampeding into them. Sheepillows are sheep with fluffy clouds for wool, and holding some of their fluff will heal you. Finally, there are Sleepossums! Scrambly little guys who can bite an individual and induce the Sleep spell in small quantities. Usually harmless, but if a swarm of them latch on to you, their powers stack up and can take you down with ease. To make my *dream* a reality, all I need is several dozen Wish spells. Thank you for your time!

Andrew

Hi Tortles! (And that one other guy, Jacque was it?) For you today, I have a magical item that is both carrot and stick. The ring of Pun-ishment. Contained in the ring is the cantrip vicious mockery, to be used at the players discretion. However, if the player makes a pun, at any point in combat, regardless of when it happens, everyone else around them capable of understanding the joke automatically takes the damage of vicious mockery. Friend and foe alike, in and out of combat. This ring is to be used to either reign in players who are out of control pun makers or to encourage role play and dialogue from quieter players. (It’s also a cursed item that can’t be removed — short of major magical intervention) I’m asking for a 50% buy in so we can take this idea directly to the infomercials of Beahumia.

MalakirMortis

I gave my players a device that looks like a stopwatch that summons a minimum wage wizard from the coast that sells spells that they cast. (Like a spell scroll) spell list is DMs discretion as is availability (sometimes they are short staffed and you get a prerecorded message instead)

Cats

Tortles of reverence! Today i present to you the Magic Bag of "Misc"tic Mushrooms! A freaky nasty little item perfect for players who love to roll dice! Drawing a mushroom from the bag and ingesting it causes a slew of mental and physical effects! The player/npc that eats a shroom has to roll a d20: 1: *roll a d4* 1= Two levels of exhaustion 2=You are Stunned 3=You are Frightened 4= Confusion (wildly attack nearby creature) 2-3: Poisoned and need a cure 4-5: Poisoned for 5 min or 5 rounds 6-7: Your skin turns temporarily purple with green polkadots 8-9: Shroom tastes like shit 10-11: Shroom tastes pretty good 12-13: Your hair gaines a beautiful luscious sheen 14-15: *Flip a coin* Heads=grow large Tails=Shrink small for 1d10 min 16-17: You regain 1d6 HP 18-19: Regain 1d8 HP and advantage on ability checks for 1d10 minutes 20: *roll a d4* 1= Gain haste 2=Shoot a fireball if you want 3=Tiara of Stars( 3 stars for 30 min) 4=Gain a temporary familiar (Find Familiar) I know what you might be asking, and the answer is NO - this hasn't been play tested!! I ask for one pretty large egg in exchange for 60% and a mushroom stir fry.

Beav

Hey Tortles (teenage mutant ninja or otherwise), I DM for a player who refuses to play any race other than aarakokra and avian. Considering the amount of challenges and puzzles that can be circumvented by flying, this is where my homebrew flying rules come in. During combat, fly speed is determined by an athletics check (DC5-9 =5ft, DC10-14 =10ft, etc). Outside of combat, long distance flying is determined with a CON Save with a chance of acquiring a level of exhaustion. I’m asking for an investment of 10,000 GP plus 30% of Jake’s soul for a 50% stake in my future empire. -JBeav

Glenn D AKA Mcdoogins

Tortles do I have an opportunity for you! This homebrewed item will bring fun hijinks to all your tables. I present the Sonic Sneakers. When worn these red and white sneakers give characters haste but they also transform the character into a small hedgehog. I believe the beauty of the concept speaks for itself. I'm willing to neggotiate.

Lorelei and Kyra Newly Weds

Greetings Turtles, Tortisise's and Blake my name is Lorelei and I come to you with a series of rules that will have you rolling like dice with joy. Due to my campaign being slightly higher difficulty set in an open world sandbox the first rule is the rule of Cruel, if the players decide to say assault an animal or something that's relatively defenceless, ill play corresponding animal sounds each hit and might give the creature a boosted speed to try running or a extra damage die as they are backed into a life or death situation, this is also for weak NPC's that the players just want to kill. The speed boost is only 10-20 feet max(based on animals speed) and the damage die never go over 3 dice. For this I'd like 2 good berries and a 90% share in the idea before this one. Second we have the amazing rule of proficiency. Are you tired of playing level 15+ campaigns and watching your shield spell become useless, your AC irrelevant and your life forfeit? Well possibly no longer. With the rule of proficiency your AC goes up with your proficiency when leveling up, this applies to all classes however martial classes and those who decide to cheat this rule by multi-classing will soon realize that they only get half of this bonus. This allows players to fight monsters as strong as Demon Lord's and feel powerful when they get to say "that doesn't hurt my armor class" this rule is a bit more expensive though. I'd like 3 red bull, a Cat from Emily's Garden and a picture of Zach Snyder for full ownership. I have a few more but I would like to save them for when you do this again. Thank you for your time and have a good day everyone except Caldwell, you have an excellent day. While I leave you with this orgasming turtle to aide my exit

may

Hello Tortles! I’m here today to pitch you a homebrewed tweak to skills! The system is simple! All you have to do is disconnect skills from stats. When your players ask to do something, tell them what stat they should roll (STR, CHA, etc.). Then, they can ask you if they can apply a skill they’re proficient in (Arcana, Stealth, etc.) For example, say your socially maladjusted wizard is trying to convince a king to take action on a plague. This is a CHA check (uh-oh) but you ask the DM to let you apply your proficiency bonus, since you’re skilled in Medicine, giving you a much nicer +2. The best part — your players will try to game the system, and RP better as a result! I’m willing to let half my company go for a single egg.

Billy M.

Hello Torts, and that one guy Allen. I’ve come to pitch my wonderful DM’s home brew item, the bell of ducky summoning. This tiny brass bell can be used once per long rest, and when you ring it, 1d6 regular ducks appear in a spot you can see The summoning lasts for 1 minute, and at the end of that minute the ducks return to where they came from. The ducks cannot be harmed while under the summoning effects of the spell. They are friendly towards you and open to suggestions, but not bound to follow any orders, they maintain free will I only ask for a large bag of frozen peas to feed these adorably might beasts.🦆🌳

Patrick O.

Hello Tortles, I bring you some options for modified Inspiration. Inspiration (not bardic inspiration) is a mechanic where your DM can award you a point of Inspiration that you can spend as you like to gain advantage on a roll, as a reward for doing cool shit. Unfortunately, one use of advantage (that you can’t have more than one of at a time) sucks ass. I have modified inspiration to grant MULTIPLE possible boons to a player who wishes to spend it: -advantage (as normal) -adding proficiency to whatever roll you’re about to make (even if you already add it!) -any number of unique class-based powers! (I.E. all of the monks attacks hit this turn, the barbarian takes 1/4 damage for the round instead of 1/2, the bard gives everyone a use of bardic inspiration, etc.) I’ve used this product myself, and it really spices up the important moments in the campaign, and encourages more wild roleplay to chase down Inspiration for more cool shit! I’m asking for one southwestern tortle-omelette to feed me as I tour the country, distributing my product.

Kevin Smith

Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael and Michelangelo. My pitch is this. The home brew feat Risk it All. Once per long rest you can flip a coin before rolling a d20. If called correctly your roll is a natural 20. If called incorrectly it is a natural 1. I ask for 10 thousand turtle eggs in return for 49% of my company. Thank you

Tralan

A setting! The Gleamwood: Years ago, a mining town in the valley of a mountain was running dry. In an act of desperation, the governor called in mages to try to pull all the ore they could closer to condense what little was left. Something went wrong, the mines collapsed in a massive magical explosion. The valley crumbled, resulting in a box canyon. Everything above, including the flora and fauna, has been imbued with metal. Example: iron gleam trees are used to to carve out armour thinner and more precise, much like a CNC carved object today.

Patrick Harry

G'day esteemed Tortles of the board, especially the most excellent Tortle whose reputation is one of fairness, Jack, I have the perfect product for a party with no Druids! Animal Juice - a concoction whose recipe is only know by certain magic users. It combines the dna of some animal with other magical ingredients (up to the DM). When ingested it allows the player to wildshape into that animal for 1 hour (note this is different than polymorph due to how stats are used). Animal Juice can be adjusted to any setting, made rare or easy to acquire. It can even require a quest to obtain hair from an animal for either the party of a patron to make a certain dosage of the Juice. Please consider this offer, I am selling it only for the joy of knowing my product may help others out in the world

Crankysister

I can't believe you're calling it Tortle Tank and not Turdis Tank.

Trevor Wurtsmith

Hello wise tortle investors, and suprise guest tortle Jake. I'm here offering Artificer Aid for 500 eggs. This is a rule to help artificers feel like they have more control over their inventions. The way it works is, the artificer wants to cast a damage/ or AOE spell with their inventions. Because they have a mastery over their craft, and are expert tinker-ers, this rule allows the Artificer to adjust the radius and damage type of the spell. Let's take fireball for example. Typically it does 8d6 fire damage in a 20 ft radius. With this rule the artificer could choose how big the blast is (can always be smaller, up to 10 ft added to radius) and what their blasting. I let the artificer choose their damage type as long as they have reasonable materials to craft a spell of that type (embers for fire, ice for cold damage etc.). This let's the underpowered artificer feel like they actually control their inventions and they're not general spells. I accept henmo (for eggs)

Whill

(Drunk Emily Voice) Hey Turts... Boy do I have an item for you: The Fate Weaver's Thread This small golden string gives a player the opportunity to trick Destiny itself at great personal risk. While it is in their inventory, a player can attempt to lie to the DM about the results of a dice roll, the wording of an ability, or anything else they can think of. If the DM doesn't suspect anything by the time the lie takes hold, it works. If the DM suspects you're lying and calls you out however, you must admit your crime to the table. Their character immediately takes necrotic damage equal to half their max HP and suffers a level of exhaustion as punishment for trying to gaslight God. No matter the outcome, the thread vanishes into thin air after use. Turts, I'm seeking a full set of moon soaked dice from the window sill in exchange for the ability to gaslight God. I eagerly await your offers.

Toe

Hail and well met great and venerated Tortles (even Jake, keep it up buddy you’re doing great) I come before you humbly on bent knee to offer my solution to the ever vexing (to some of the Tortles) Nat 20 on initiative! I pitch to the tank, that on a Nat 20 initiative roll the player may take one part of their action economy twice. For this homebrew I am asking for an answer to whether you want me to bring you some some of Alanis choicest buds after the Vancouver live show. I put myself at the mercy of the tank. -Toe (she/they)

Stephen C, shortest beard in Bahumia

May it tease the torts... DMs, do you like throwing heavy hitters at your players for ignoring the story? Do you like rewarding them for coming up with clever shortcuts? Have I got a spell for you! By combining the Maze spell with a summoning ritual, the villain banishes the players to a mini-dungeon that they have to escape from - and the longer they take, the more powerful the demon is that the villain summons because they're using the PCs as power for the ritual. So if the party escapes immediately, the villain only has a mephit as an ally. But if they take forever to explore everywhere and kill everything and take long rests, the villain could have a Pit Fiend or Juiblex (whatever is appropriate for party level) My working name for this is "Material Component: Adventurers" but with your investment, I can have a new name on your desks by the end of the fiscal year. All I need is 250 platinum or 3 eggs. Thank you for your time (and eggs)

heavy harry

What up, fuckers!!! Spellcasters don't get enough fun combat ones and crits. A home rule we use is nat 20s on saving throws equal zero damage (rather than halved) and nat 1s on saving throws equal add 2 damage die to the role or the dm makes something super fun happen if damage is not applicable. Looking for a bathtub full of eggs to get in on this investment. I have crabs.

Alex Moore

A would like to write a product review about a previous Tortle Tank decision… Once upon a tank, a pitch was made to have three consecutive nat 1’s cause instant death of a character, and the wise Torts (then Owlbears) decided against this rule. How grateful I am for this decision. I started playing DnD as a DM and had never played as a PC before. A friend who had been in my last campaign had been finally trying his hand at DMing with another group, so he invited me to be a part of this campaign of his as soon as the summer started. We planned behind the scenes how my character would be introduced so that I could easily join the group. However, during my character introduction, my first three rolls in my session ever as a PC, I rolled 3 nat 1s in a row. If this had caused instant death, I would have had probably one of the worst imaginable PC experiences of all time. So again, thank you torts. I donate 3 eggs (one per nat 1) for your continued homebrew wisdom.

Kass

Good day discerning investors! Are you looking to make your play experience more mechanically complicated but creatively flexible? Are you prone to playing with a character crisis of identity?? Do you have the perfect class and background for a new build, but are you simply too indecisive to choose their race??? Then may I introduce you to True Changeling! Unlike the simple, balanced iteration of this species, racial traits and abilities are mutable with form. That's right! Going into important diplomatic talks? Pop into a tiefling for that sweet charisma bonus. Have a big fight or drinking contest coming up? Remember that dwarves get +1 hp per level with that constitution! Also unlike its counterpart, this race may or may not have a true 'base form' depending on player preference. It is up to DM discretion how often the ability can be used. It is also up to DM discretion whether this ability may be used in conjunction with the base ability to change appearance, or if each apparent race is locked to one appearance. For example to balance with a standard party, one DM may choose to have the player prepare race such as a cleric may prepare a spell list and keep each appearance fixed (perhaps then changable and/or unlockable at milestones like level ups). Or, if the party is starting as low-level reincarnated gods, the trickster god may start out with the ability to change form as an action and unlock further upgrades -- mutable appearance, bonus action change, transferable feats and abilities -- as they grow in power. (Shout out to my cool as hell DM for the sick skill tree) And, as an upsell, this proposal comes with a system of notecards with hole punches and numbers all over to overlay on the character's base stats card to keep literally any of this straight. [insert image]

Lauren Iliffe

Greetings, Tortles. Were you, like me, disappointed in the lack of feywild shenanigans in the book, even after the module Wilds Beyond the Witchlight was released? Well look no further, with the first in our line of Whimsical Bullshit (tm) the Liddellum Mushroom. When eaten, roll a D6 (or any dice, the more numbers the more confusing and whimsical). On an odd number, the PC gets the effect of the Reduce spell; on an even, they get Enlarge effect. I'm looking for a 10% stake in the company in return for 3 eggs. However please note that even if you don't invest, I will put 'As Seen on Tortle Tank' on all of my advertising.

Michelle Rapp

Hello my learned tortles! Are you tired of seeing traditionally "feminine" crafts and interests getting short shrift in DnD? Want to play a subclass that is supportive, subtle and incredibly badass? Introducing the Fiber Artist Artificer subclass! Artificers who specialize in this area are attuned to the inherent magical potential of manipulating yarn, thread and fabric into items that can enhance allies and tangle up enemies. Have I already created this class? Yes. Am I always looking for playtesters? Also yes, and I am confident that this will attract the best kind of success a tortle can dream of. Funding will only require two eggs, or a two week stay at Carl's Aunt's Beach House (I promise to lock the doors). Thank you for your time!

Decker Ames

Esteemed, Wise, and Hard Shelled Torts I bring you a mechanic that will excite and arouse, or serve to be a bitter reminder. With no previous, well thought out name ready to go, I give you perma-points (please feel free to offer name suggestions) Perma-points are simple and to the point, if you get a nat 20 on a skill check you get a point in that skill, get 3 total perma-points in a skill and that skill gets a permanent +1! (I'd reccomend ONLY doing this with skills) However this also works with nat 1's... my players have only reached permanent +1's in skills a handful of times, however it has heightened criticals to exciting new degrees and has incentivised my players to keep a more watchful eye on their character sheet. All I ask are two terrific tortle eggs, or a smooch on the forehead from each of you (including you Jasper!) For 50% of royalties, I humbly await your decision

Chris King

The Scroll of Shenanigans! I present a low-power item to introduce the experience of debauchery in home games WITHOUT having players sit through uncomfortable and explicit roleplay. A normal (if magical) part of an everyday first aid kit, using this scroll will inform the user of one of several stats from the past 12 hours: number of drinks had, amount of money spent, fights instigated, sexual partners encountered, and more! Use to spice up post-mission vacations and downtime with a fun "The Hangover" escapade, and as a response to *that player* who insists on entering drinking contests any time they're in a tavern. I'm seeking a 5% stake in the inevitable and upcoming NADDPOD-branded bandaid and ointment line.

Where Bear

Hello Tortles and Tortellinis! Have you ever gotten frustrated fighting a gargoyle and had to double down to your party why Stone to Flesh would be a fantastic (and horrific) spell? …Just me? Well, the item I have here today covers more than turning a gargoyle into just some guy, may I present: A playing card with two arrows forming a circle on both sides. If you cast a spell while holding this card, you can choose to play the card as a bonus action. The spell becomes reversed, doing the opposite of its intended affect. Flesh to Stone becomes Stone to Flesh, Cure Wounds becomes Inflict Wounds, Detect Thoughts broadcasts your thoughts to every creature in a 30ft radius, etc. Alternatively, if a spell is cast within 30ft of you while you hold this card, you can use your reaction to play the card and cause that spell to be reversed instead. Either way the card vanishes after being used, reappearing among the possessions of a random creature on the same plane of existence. If the card is destroyed, a wave of chaotic energy is released. any one spell cast by or targeting a creature who was within 100ft of the card’s destruction has a 25% chance of being randomly reversed within the next 24 hours. Thank you for your time! I accept both eggs and egg noodles.

Jane

Hello tortles! I present for your consideration the "hoptercopter". This floating, plane-hopping city (once the lair of a lich) can be your high-level party's primary mode of transportation. The hoptercopter offers a free teleport or plane shift once a day, provided one of the party members has spent several days studying the city's controls / passing various INT checks. Got a lot of NPCS to talk to before fighting the BBEG? Want to terrorize people by parking a floating city 100 ft. above their heads? Want to have your party bicker over the silly name they gave their new toy? Try the hoptercopter! Or invest in it? I'm not sure how to end this.

Professor Toad

Dear Tortles of the Tank, and Jasper, Dragon of the Den (UK show) DM's, do you like the excitement of rolling up characters, but fear having an unbalanced party? What if i could provide a method that keeps the excitement, but protects players from the whims of the dice devil? My proposal is that when rolling up, each player rolls five stats using best three of four D6. Then for the last stat, take the difference between their current total and 75. Every character will have the same total but, it's still has the touch of dice christ! The DM can also vary this number depending on the game type they'd like, 70 to handicap the players, or 80 if feeling generous. All I ask for is 75 tortle eggs from the tortle trove for a 75% steak.

ABigdude

Hello Tortles, I come to you not to pitch you a homebrew rule or item, but instead pitch you a different system. Dnd is the game of high fantasy but Warhammer Fantasy Role Playing 4e (or WFRP)is the gritty fantasy game you’ve been looking for. So ditch the d20 and grab your D100 because we are switching systems. Need more crunch to combat? Want to behead your opponent or be beheaded with one critical role? Want bigger swings of magical abilities? Where a miscast can cause all milk to spoil in a 5 mile radius or summon a demon to pull you into a realm of chaos. Want to start as a literal peasant and grow to a hero of the empire? The games career system adds a vast way to customize your character’s growth through a campaign. Well we have it. The enemy within campaign is regarded as one of the best RPG campaigns and it’s all done in the WFRP system. I think you’ll agree that there is plenty of fun to be had in a dark fantasy setting. All I ask for is a one egg investment and a one shot done for a mixed bag. Thank you tortles

Jonnyboy

Hi there Tortles my name is Jonny and I like Turtles.        As a brand new DM starting off a new campaign with 5-9 members, all new to DnD, it can be challenging to keep everyone involved. Specifically during combat with long turn cycles up to an hour long, players can easily become distracted and lose interest. This issue plagued our burgeoning group and threatened to put an end to the fun all together. Until a Jimmy Neutron sized brain blast gave me the idea that lead to us now playing every week for over the past year. Enter our revolutionary concept that turns long, boring, turn based combat into a dynamic immersive experience for all players; Introducing Dynamic Combat ™️.      Dynamic Combat ™️ does away with the antiqued initiative system from the days of yore in favor of more intuitive battles. Under Dynamic Combat ™️ all combatants act in real time allowing for more engament from all players, unique team based tactics and the feeling of chaos that all battles need. "No plan survives first contact with the enemy" and the chaos of trying to get the upper hand to turn the tide while the enemy moves at the same time drives engagement and enjoyment from the players. Dynamic Combat ™️ allows the entire party to enjoy the fight as team instead of waiting for their turn to hit the bad guy piñata. From fleeing a flying dragon breathing fire to trying to tackle a wizard casting teleport we know Dynamic Combat ™️ is perfect for your eggs.     We're asking for 1/2 of your clutch of eggs in exchange for a 49% stake in this groundbreaking venture. I hope after this deal goes through that I can say my name is Jonny and I like Tortles. (P.S.) I started DM'ing thanks to this show especially Trinyvale and would consider myself a Dunkle-esque DM. Just wanted to say thanks to all of you for the fun you've given us, especially you Dunkle ❤️

Amanda E.

Hello business-tortles, Do you have players constantly begging for expensive loot that they never use or only use to upset small local economies then leave the communities ultra vulnerable to the next evil doer that comes by? Well, I have a product for you! The Language Learning Book is a tantalizing treasure that can be found on any investigation check a conspiring DM sets. This arcane book activates the moment a player starts reading it and it takes a minimum DC20 to uncover the nefarious magic. The Language Learning Book's purpose isn't to help the reader learn a language, rather to steal one of the reader's languages. A player will roll a die equal to their number of languages, and let's say they roll a 5, then the 5th language on the player's list is the one they lose permanently. So! For 7 eggs and a 42% share of my company, you can be a proud co-owner of this literally life changing product. Thank you.

Josh M

I run it this way! It feels nice. You may have half of one of my eggs, but there is a 50% chance that it is a deviled egg rather than a sweet, succulent angeled egg.

Drew Was Here

Tricksy Turts, I propose the crossed fingers mechanic. Instead of rolling deception when my PCs are lying they can cross their fingers and roll a slight of hand check instead and gets advantage on their next ability roll. But as we know 2 crossed fingers cancel each hand out and if the NPC catches a 2 cross then the npc rolls with disadvantage for the next check. Remember not to flip the turtle ❤️

Zac A.

Hey there Tortles, Have you ever looked at your character sheet and seen "Medicine" on the skill list, and thought "What is this even for?". Well today, I am pitching an idea to revamp Medicine checks to actually serve a purpose, and to take healing away from divine casters only. With this product, Medicine checks can now be Wisdom OR Intelligence based, and can be used to heal hit points! To use this new feature, characters need to be proficient in Medicine, and have 10 uninterrupted minutes to provide medical care to 1 other character. A roll of 15-20 heals the equivalent of a 1st level Cure Wounds + the characters assigned ability modifier (Int or Wis). For every 2 rolled above 20, the healing increases 1 spell level of Cure Wounds (2nd level for a 22, 3rd for a 24, etc.). Finally, this new feature of Medicine checks can only be used 1+(Wis or Int modifier) times per day to avoid spamming it back to full health. I am asking for enough Tortle eggs to break the world record for largest omelet, or 110,001 eggs, for a 85% stake in my reimagined Medicine skill. Together, we can revolutionize party dynamics and end the reign of terror that Clerics have held on the healing class.

James Scott

Greetings Turdises and that thin calved Jed Herb-tits. I come to you bringing the whimsy and fear of a higher power. This trickster God of degenerate gamblers appearing either as a wanderer or a voice in your mind offers at critical moment another chance, a reroll. If you give him your current roll to replace one of your roles in the future (at the DMs discretion). It can be catered to your table to use sparingly or aggressively enough to rack up a large debt of bad roles should your table like it extra spicy. I will accept from Daddy DM Brian Murphy "having a catch" and a half mumbled "I'm proud of you" for a 50% share or a 100% share for just one hug from my real life Dad. -Burt from Ohio

Gabriel Mauch

Hey There Centaurs/Tortles Today, I am pitching to you the "Fun First Fungeon Crawl" I was recently DMing a session where the party needed to reach the center of a dungeon. Instead of creating rooms and encounters, What if instead you turn the work over to the players. No more planning intricate rooms that the PCs never enter. No more blowing past encounters with crafty spell work. Instead of mapping out every room and every encounter. I'm pitching to you all fine folks setting an appropriate DC (based on party level) and going around the room and letting players decide what things they encounter. Then you let them choose whichever skill they want to use to succeed the encounter. Maybe you need to enter the arm wrestling tournament (athletics). Maybe it's a room full of puppies that need played with (animal handling). This not only lets your players use their skills in fun ways to let them shine, but it also takes no work as DM (just set it and forget it). I'm asking for 2 turtle facts from Caldwell for 99% ownership in this idea. The "Fun First Fungeon Crawl" just set it and don't remember it.

Sean McClain

Tortles, I have a simple idea for a new feat: The Stored Luck Feat Using this feat you can bank a nat 20 rolled in the course of normal game playing (skill check, attack roll, saving throw, or initiative) and gain a luck point. Then you need to roll again. Essentially imparting disadvantage now to gain advantage at a later point. A nat 20 rolled on a low stakes skill check can now no longer be "wasted" but rewarded. (A nat 20 rolled on the reroll can also be banked) Characters can gain an unlimited number of luck points between long rests, but every long rest, if they have four or more luck points stored, the total luck points are reduced to three. So as to encourage luck points to be spent instead of hoarded. This is also to curtail "farming" for luck points. Variant rule: player can also choose to bank nat 1s as a bad luck point, allowing a player to reroll a nat 1. Then the DM will decided when the bad luck point is spent which will force a reroll of the player's dice when the DM chooses.

Grimma Lynx

A rule that I picked up a few years back and have absolutely loved is super crits and super fails. Any time a player rolls at advantage or disadvantage, rolling 2 nat 20s will be a super crit, while 2 nat 1s is a super fail. In either situation, something wild happens. For example, in one of my campaigns, the bbeg pretty much won and was reshaping the world to fit his desires (think world of ruin from ff6). The players successfully fled his lair to a dwarven city that had served as a hub to their adventures to find the citadel at its center collapsing. Our half-orc fighter wanted to hold up the collapsing gatehouse to give as many people a chance to flee as possible, even after being warned it would almost certainly be a fatal venture. Had him roll a strength check at disadvantage to hold up what was at least a ton of stone. Two nat 20s. So I narrated how, in this city full of dwarves, people who had all campaign judged him for his ancestry, looked on in awe as they fled while he he held the way open. The rest of the party could swear they saw just the faintest ghostly outline of the tallest dwarf they'd ever seen holding up the gatehouse along with him. When he finally dived away, the structure collapsed just a few seconds later than it should have, giving the fighter time to flee and survive

ap.cleric

Gentlepeople of the Tortle Tank, I present you the concept of 'Sanity Points'. I am currently building a psychological horror campaign for my friends, and decided to give my players Sanity Points (SP, double of their max HP) when faced with their deepest fear or something messes with their sanity in general. They must make a DC 15 Wisdom save and if they fail, they must roll 1d6 and remove the total from their SP. If they roll a nat1, they roll 2d6. Once they hit 1/3 total SP left, they fall under one level of exhaustion. SP cannot be returned until after one week of successful long rests taken by the party

John Niska

Hey there Torts, I present to you a mechanic that was the brainchild of playing too many hours of crusader kings 3 (CK3). The goal of this mechanic is to further immerse players into their character’s backstory and enhance roleplay while giving a slight improvement to ability scores. In CK3, your character has choices of many personality traits that define how they interact with others in the world. We converted this to dungeons and dragons. While drafting a character, players can include 3 personality traits in their description. These give +1 bonuses to their ability scores that are related to that trait. The traits, some listed below, give players the chance to: have even numbers for improved checks and saves, take more feats because they won’t need as many ability score improvements, immerse themselves deeper into their character, and avoid BS “that’s what my character would do” moments. Players who take traits are heavily encouraged to align their roleplay to go along with their character’s traits. In version 2.0 we plan on specifying skills rather than just gaining ability score improvements Example: a dwarf cleric that is brave, ambitious, and gregarious receives +1 to STR, INT, and CHR respectively For your highly anticipated consideration: Advanced Personality traits Traits: Brave +1Str Craven +1Con Calm +1Wis Lustful +1Chr Content +1Int Ambitious +1Int Diligent +1Dex Stubborn +1Str Forgiving +1Int Generous +1Chr Gregarious +1Chr Deceitful +1Dex Humble +1Chr Arrogant +1Wis Temperate +1Wis Gluttonous +1Con Trusting +1Int Paranoid +1Con Zealous +1Int Compassionate +1Chr

Jessy G

Wisest and wettest Tortles, May it tickle your shells: We always do basic currency. 10 Copper = 1 Silver, 10 Silver = 1 Gold. Done. Screw electrum. We’re adventures not economists and mathematicians!

Gregory Frame

Transcendent Tortles I am pleased to bring you, WMDMA, the next step in the evolution of the 'party-enhancing,' wonderdrug that's already taking college campuses across the material plane by storm. Originally, designed by 26 year old Lizzardfolk Antonio Nolastname--double major in Wild Magic Sorcery and Alchemy at Strixhaven University--WMDMA works as a normal Experimental Elixir except when its ingested it causes the patient to roll on the Wild Magic table. But who should take it, I hear you asking? Everyone! Throw a random challenge at your Bullywug nemesis, sneakily take WMDMA to get out of an exam, or just really 'vibe out' at Feychella. Antonio and I are seeking 6 eggs for a 40% stake in the company to help grow our operation, and continue expanding into the festival scene/middle income millennial scene.

Paul D

Yes! The more shields the better!

Mike Cosgrave

What's up Torts, Today I present you with a rare opportunity, a nerf that actually makes a disgustingly OP feat more fun. The feat: Elven Accuracy, aka the crit-fisher's dream. Triple advantage but just for Elves. Allows for a reroll to one dice on any non-strength attack roll where the attacker has advantage, with no limit on the number of times this feat may be used. It's also a half-ASI, which is crazy. The nerf: Roll advantage normally. You may decide to use the feat after you roll your dice, but before the DM announces the result. If you decide to use the feat, the die you reroll must be the higher of the original advantage rolls. This means that players who roll a good die on advantage (say 16-20) probably won't risk it unless the stakes are high. People who roll low (like a 3 and a 4) have a chance to save their attack. And people who wind up in the middle, even with advantage, (Murph) can sweat over whether or not to risk it. This nerf adds a fun element of chance to an otherwise ridiculous feat. You want a third kick at the can? Then pull up a chair at the riverboat casino, 'cause it's gamblin' time. PS. Also, change the name to Elite Accuracy and open it up to non-elves, because other races can be good at stuff too.

John Tackels

I think a fun item would be the wild magic gun. I have always been a big fan of wild magic surges due to the chaos they bring into a fight. Now if you made a gunslinger it would be a fun item to give them and each long rest they recover 3 magical effect charges. This item could be the parties saving grace or their worst nightmare. Also when shot it releases a puff of magic much like when the fairly oddparents poof around. I made my own wild magic table for this some effect examples are buttered floor, your next lie becomes a truth, body swap with target 1 min, target is set on fire, target can only sing queen for 1 min etc

Tama

Simple: on saving throws where you would take half damage if you get a nat 20 you take no damage. But your enemies benefit from this rule as well.

Eric Wills

Trusted bale of Tortles Do you have bits of magical stuff just lying around useless? How about broken vials of potion with clinging residue or a failed magical item? I present a use for these discarded pieces of magic bits. Wild magic dust. Just grind up any magical flotsam you have in your lying about that would otherwise be discarded and place into a bag of wild magic dust! As a free action adventurers can add a wild magic surge to any action! Target yourself, a friend, or foe and see what happens! With your eggs we can sell Wild magic dust in shops across the multiverse for the low low price of 50gp per bag. Did I mention 3 uses per bag!? Add a little excitement to your adventure today with Wild Magic Dust!

Tim S.

Thank you for seeing me, Tortles, awed to be in the presence of such fiscal genius heroes in half shells. This one is playtested with my party, perfect for you DMs out there that think the rules for holding breath in 5e just don't communicate the stakes that underwater combat should, but don't want to add a bunch of GROSS math. I present to you: Concentration checks for holding breath and Breath as a resource. As you know, RAW a character can hold their breath for 1+CON modifier minutes, so even the scrubiest character can hold their breath for a minute of combat; practically forever. Using my patented product, each player adds Breath as a resource to their character sheet; your max Breath is 1+CON Modifier (Minimum of 1) (Example: A monk with a 14 CON score starts with 3 Breath). Upon taking damage underwater a player must make a Concentration check (exactly the same as a spell Concentration check -- we're keeping things familiar here). On a failure, the player's Breath count goes down by 1. As I'm sure you also know, RAW melee weapons are at disadvantage underwater except for a few exceptions. To balance things, casting a spell with a Verbal component while using my product results in -1 Breath, and triggers another Concentration check (DC 10). Failure results in spell failure. This might seem harsh but all it does is force privileged spellcasters to think of fights underwater differently, just like martial characters. A player must also make a Concentration check when it enters frigid or boiling water for the first time on a turn or starts its turn there, with failure resulting in -1 Breath. Any items or abilities affecting Concentration checks should likewise help with these checks, and DMs should reward creativity in this area. My product is not meant to be punishing, but should just raise the perceived stakes. Falling to 0 Breath means a player begins drowning. Similar to RAW they can last a number of rounds equal to their CON mod (minimum of 1) before falling unconscious. Taking any damage automatically lowers the count by 1 without a chance to save. Note: RAW an unconscious player underwater cannot be healed until they are out of the water, and automatically fail death saves. In playtested combat my product does not change the result much from a RAW underwater combat; but this is the goal. A player character can realistically last a few rounds fine underwater. But the mere addition of a dwindling resource made the open water terrifying to my group. A kraken grappling a hero and dragging them underwater means death is on the way. I'm asking for 1 soggy egg in exchange for a 71%-of-earth-is-covered-in-water stake in my product or I walk.

Charles Murphy

My Dearest and Most Respectable Tortles, I bring you the Wand of Relocation! This rare item allows an attuned spellcaster to move the area of effect on a multi-turn effect spell that does not normally allow for such an action (ie Wall of Fire, Hunger of Hadar, etc). Moving the spell is a bonus action and results in a level of exhaustion once the spell has finished its duration or after 1 minute, whichever comes first. I ask merely for a familiar of my very own in order to assist in the recovery of these devices from those foolish enough to use them six times in a row.

Mitch

Hello Torts, and may I say that your shells are looking shiny as hell today. What I have for you today is honestly dumb as hell, the cornerstone of dungeons and dragons. The Wand of Random Bullshit can do anything once. Yes, anything that your mind can think of, the wand can do, but only one time. If the action is too similar to an action already taken, the wand will not work. However, the wand is secondhand so all the extremely useful actions (kill someone, wishes, resurrection, etc.) have already been used. Essentially, if the DM believes an action is too useful, he can force a D20 roll with less than 10 being a failure. But other than that, you know, the sky is the limit! Torts, I have hundreds of these fuckin things because I used the wand to copy itself, then used the created wand to copy itself in an endless recursive loop. I am in hell and would like an escape. I am asking for 100 gold in exchange for 100% of the company. You can sell them for like 8 gold a pop or whatever, I don't even care anymore. Just please get these out of my house, honestly these are taking up a lot of room in my house. Please Torts, have mercy upon me.

Kit Fawkes

(Please use name K. Marlowe if chosen). Most gracious Tortles, I humbly present a few alternate rules I have tested/want to implement in my games. They are inspired by rules in other systems beyond 5E, but I have confidence that once we scrape the serial numbers off, you can make a hefty profit nonetheless. (Note: I present three options so you may pick your favorite, I know all three will be far too long) 1. “Take ten.” Inspired/borrowed from DND 3rd edition/Pathfinder. A character will always pass a skill check they are proficient in, provided they can take ten minutes to focus on the task and there are no obvious distractions. This doesn’t mean, for example - taking ten on an Arcana check to examine some runes, that they will have perfect success and learn everything about the inscriptions there is to know, only that they cannot fail. Taking ten on a check is then counted, by the dm, as if the player has hit the minimum DC set, let's say 15. So it’s a choice a player has to make then to choose to roll. Rolling comes with the chance of failure but also of greater success in many cases. I especially like using this feature to gloss over elements that slow down/don’t add anything to the story. Example, your fighter has fallen into a pit. There is no immediate danger, but they are proficient in Athletics, so I just say that it takes them a few minutes but they manage it without trouble. 2.“Cost of adventuring” I definitely cribbed this idea from somewhere but can’t remember where, so I am only taking credit for the version I use in my games. Anytime a character is unconscious at 0 hit points, they gain a scar of the player’s choice. It can be big, small, totally up to the player. There’s also fun options if that character took more unusual damage, ie necrotic, psychic, etc. Maybe they have a white streak in their hair now, or the veins on one arm are permanently blackened. Also, if a character dies and is resurrected by any means beyond Revivify - they must take a -1 to an ability score of their choice (main score, which may or may not change the modifier), to reflect the physical or mental strain of returning from the dead. If everyone prefers, the DM can roll a d6 and choose for them. 3. “Aspects” Borrowing the basic idea of this from the Fate system, and I like to use it to encourage/assist in roleplay. To simplify for brevity, in character creation, each player needs to choose three core aspects of their character (this is a lot like ideals/flaws/bonds, so they can absolutely use those from the books if they prefer) There should be a mostly positive, mostly neutral, and mostly negative aspect. Obviously there’s a lot of interpretation to what that, so it’s really up to the player. Example, a PC’s aspects are: “Overly trusting” “I must prove myself.” “Selfish.” In a roleplay or skill based situation (or combat, at the dm’s discretion), a player can point out to the dm that they are leaning into a character aspect, let’s say “Selfish”, by not sharing the location of some loot with a party member or npc. Assuming it’s not too much of a stretch, the Dm gives them a d4 they can use on the next roll they make that’s relevant to that situation, lets say, a Deception check to lie about knowing where the loot is, or survival to cover their tracks. IN SUMMARY. The idea is to basically give dm inspiration in a way that puts the agency in the players hands, rather than the DM awarding it at moments they deem.

Tig

NAT 20 on initiative? You get adavntage on your first attack.

Tom J

Greetings esteemed Tortles. What are the two best things about DnD? If you said fun with friends and collaborative storytelling, you're wrong, it's snacks and Bardic Inspiration. Now what if we combined these two awesome things: Introducing BARDIC BUBBLE, the only in-game bubblegum that inspires your PC to do better by a d6. Once per long rest, a PC may chew on a piece of the gum, that always tastes like their favourite food, and gain the benefit of a Bardic Inspiration. Once the Inspiration is used, the gum loses all flavour instantly. This tasty in-game treat will allow parties without Bards and Bards themselves to reap the benefits of one of the best mechanics of the game and "all they have to do, is chew" (not a registered trademark) and if you will allow me to get lost in the tank for a minute, I foresee future deals with Delurio's Curios Vending Machines to expand our range to include BARDIC BUTTERFINGER BB'S for higher level Bardics. I asking for one sincere "You sound pretty cool, Tom" in any character voice in exchange for 100% of my company because I have low self-esteem and am bad at business. Thank you for your time.

Paul D

Tortles of the Cove, I present to you the following class modifications: - Barbarians can fly into an involuntary rage when confronted with a triggering scenario. This rage does not count against rages used per day, but can have negative consequences in social settings. The DM and PC should agree on the conditions beforehand. - Druids can wildshape into certain low-level monsters, such as Owlbears. CR and movement rules still apply. (Inspired by the new D&D movie trailer) - Monks may use strength instead of dexterity for their attacks, and may use their strength + constitution modifiers for their AC. With all due respect, one shouldn't need to be a Tortle to play a strong Monk. - Rangers can prepare spells each day rather than just learn set spells. - Sorcerer subclasses should all gain a known spell list. - Warlocks can use intelligence instead of charisma. There are four charisma caster classes and only 2 intelligence caster classes. Can I get a dozen cage-free eggs? I'm making a big quiche.

Damian Cadena

Greetings tortles My homebrew mechanic I’m trying to get funding for is quite simple On a nat 20 to hit you get max damage + roll to see what the extra damage will be. It hurts to see a crit roll a one or a 2 on both damage dice . This would not carry over to improved crits for fighters .

Adam H.

I stand before you, Tortans of Industry, to pitch a simple idea: Tired of your players forgetting all the details of the world you worked so hard to create? The clueless cleric doesn’t remember who her own god is? The bumbling bard is asking you for the name of his own hometown? I have a homebrew solution that fits this pervasive problem! It’s simple: whenever a player forgets an important detail that their character should definitely know, their character must make an intelligence saving throw in order to remember. On a fail, the character can’t remember, and will be subjected to hilarious and painful chastisement by the other party members and NPCs. I’m seeking 5k in exchange for 25% of this idea - payment can be made in the form of gold or gift cards to Mangia’s. I leave the rest to your capricious carapaces.

Blume

Hello Tortles and Jake the Turtis My homebrew rule that I'm trying to get funding for is called Detect Railroad. Us DM's have always had the fear of railroading our players, so I would like to offer my players the option to railroad themselves. Once per session, before any quests begin, players get the opportunity to roll a d100. Should they roll 10% or less, a massive arrow falls from the sky, pointing in the direction of where they need to go. I'm asking for 50,000 tortle eggs at 45% stake.

ari.tre

Tortles, I provide you with one of my newest homebrew rules... Overcasting. In short, it's a way to cast spells past that of your spell slots! Recently a friend of mine (who introduced me to this wonderful council) decided to view spell slots as a player's *safe* connection to the weave. In doing so, we created a set of rules to allow players to cast spells with a little more danger. Here's how it works... Once a player has run out of spell slots and they want to continue casting spells they can instead over-cast. The spell casts normally... but at a cost. They immediately gain 1 level of exhaustion and roll a saving throw using their spellcasting stat. Should they fail the saving throw they get smitten by the gods for their arrogance and suffer a punishment that scales by two things... 1) the level of the spell they are attempting to cast and 2) the number of times they have over-casted (the DC for the saving throw also scales as these two things increase). These punishments vary from simply limiting your movement and the removal of reactions until the end of your next turn to becoming incapacitated for 1d4+8 hours without getting a long rest or even to immediate death that is irreversible other than by the use of a wish spell (please note that this is for someone who might be casting a 9th level spell multiple times with overcasting). This ability can be dangerous but can also lead to some very fun and well timed overcasts that just remove the pain of having no spell slots. In addition, the exhaustion auto-balances because it means you cannot over-cast more than 5 times without dying. I am asking for 5 eggs that I will raise and train to be the party for my next campaign.

Keanu DRAMAFACE

Hello ya tortley turts tuttling along in your tank! I bring you a ruling I straight up stole from RISK! If your players, be they grand or small, find themselves in a large scale war, it would be insane to have them fight every single warrior. Now, this ruling mostly works for levels 5 and up. Have your players roll a D6, and that’s how many warriors show up in a small scale battle in the middle of the war. Raw roll off. If the player wins they insta kill the warrior. If they lose, they still kill it, but the soldier gets a shot in. Your players can decide how many each of them takes on in the mini encounter. And the DM decides how many mini encounters it takes to get to the main bad guy or objective. I’m asking for BRIAN TURTLE TURTLE MURPHY to give a 1,000 electrum loan with a 25% ownership. I think he’s the man nay tortle who will see this investiture into the future. What say you?!?!?

Tian

Honorable Tortles and Beneficent Bailiff (you're already bundling church and state, why not industry?), I present to you a homebrew rule that keeps on giving: the qualified success. Once per long rest, each player may add a +5 to any skill check after the roll in exchange for a consequence of the GM’s choosing. This consequence may occur immediately or at a later time and be narrative, mechanical, or both in nature. All I ask for in return for equal partnership is one hug from Foster. We are a nonprofit and believe good things should be shared. Will also accept wrestling with Pawpaw or storytime with Bukvar.

Raltz Klamar

Good evening Tortles. What I have to present to you today is a new Subclass for the Bard largely inspired by Moonshine. While many Bards focus on entertaining through word or song, this bard instead taps into the magic of Kinship that anyone can by the simple act of inviting someone over or cooking them a meal. Today, I would like to present the College of Hospitality Bard: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1A-jISUwvU1kRIEC40WvhMYuI5aqjarnXAMcGL2XgVmY/edit?usp=sharing This subclass lets the Bard provide both safe shelter by warding it or weave magic into its cooking to inspire its allies. Its magic eventually empowers the bonds between allies so much, that they are able to use each other's abilities to achieve their goal through perfect teamwork. I am offering a 30% stake for half dozen eggs, and a block of mild cheddar for, uh, when they hatch.

Stephen Mark

G’Day Tortles. I present to you the home brew health and weapons that can make your players feel more powerful. When rolling health roll with it with advantage. Have a weapon that you want to make more powerful with out giving it a bunch of features. Roll damage with advantage Can also be used if their items are terrible they roll damage with disadvantage until repaired etc All I ask is a 50% in any two of the following 1: an Emily cackle 2: Caldwell little boy song/ rhyme 3: Murph’s sidebar 4: or 1 entire sticker from jake’s cabinet

Prince Pangolin

Tortles and Tortillas, thank you for your time. I come to you with the investment of a lifetime*. * Provided the lifetime is short. Like a month; three months tops. I come to you with a full line of magic hand crossbows that'll be fun for your players, but also for you to use against your players. The perfect gift for even the most picky player on your hedgehog-liday list. ***** Rogues, whether you're meeting a paranoid king or just got arrested for trying to assassinate that king, don't ya hate it when people take your weapon? This hand crossbow can be collapsed or expanded as an object interaction to fit into any nook or cranny. The "Handy Cranny Crossbow" grants advantage in this mode on checks to conceal the weapon. Worried about ammo? Thanks to clever gnome craftsmanship, you can use improvised ammunition! Large pebbles, plastic drinking straws, sticks, ammo for other weapons, animated spoons, whatever can fit into a pencil case. Of course non-standard ammunition only deals 1+Dex modifier as damage, but we all know you rely more on your sneak attack than weapon damage. Buy your Granny a Handy Cranny Crossbow today! **** Our midline model comes with all the features of the base model, and some extra firepower. First, for all your sneak attack damage? Add 1d6 damage. Also, against an enemy with the surprised condition, your crit range doubles to 19-20. Best of all, the extra dimensional ammo case stores up to 5 pounds of ammo (or improvised ammo) that appears in your crossbow when you cock it. You'll be ready to fire before your opponents are ready with the Premature Ejector. **** The top of the line model for high level players has all the previous features, but we decided to double your fun. That's right it has two orthogonal bows at the front! Allowing it to hold and fire two bolts simultaneously, doubling the base damage to 2d6+dex (or 2+dex for improvised ammo.) The bonus sneak attack damage from the mid tier: doubled to 2d6. The crit range on surprised opponents: doubled to 17-20. And finally, twice per long rest, against an opponent who is charmed or does not believe you are their enemy, your attack's damage is doubled. (Creatures with int less than 4 are immune.) Perfect for rogues escaping in a guard's uniform, casting disguise self, incredible deception, or just plain-old backstabbing. Ready yourself for the "Double-cross Crossbow." **** Torts, in exchange for 49% control, I ask for one dozen fresh eggs or an equivalent amount of freshly scrambled eggs for a mimosa brunch I'm throwing.

The Chili

Good morning frozen turtles, welcome back from your frozen slumber and here is a good homebrew idea for your table. As rouge you may at times feel like you have to constantly hide or use steady aim just to get that sweet advantage from doing so. For my homebrew I would like to offer a play as when you shoot from hiding to have the person who got shot to roll perception with advantage to find them while the hider rolls stealth at disadvantage to keep stealth. I'm asking for a year supply of legal advice from the scramble man himself.

Scarlett B

Hello extremely wealthy Tortles and their poor assistant Jake. Adventuring got you down? Been killed one too many times? Then let me present you to the Doll of Positive Affirmations. Wondrous Item, Uncommon This doll speaks in a soothing voice and tells the listener positive affirmations, which can be heard out to a range of 10 feet. No action is required to activate or deactivate this effect. A creature that can understand the Doll and spends 10 minutes listening to its affirmations can add a d6 to one attack roll, ability check, or saving throw it makes. A creature can benefit from this bonus once per long rest. The creature also has advantage on saving throw against being frightened while holding the Doll. Each Doll speaks one language, and the material it is made of is determined by the language it speaks.

Erin Gore

Hey there (Centaurs) Tortles and decent man Jake, Have you ever wanted to play a sorcerer over a long campaign, but been turned off by their small amount of spells and limited class/ subclass variety? Want to be a born caster who’s had magic their whole life AND can do more than 3 things? Introducing prepare-able Metamagic! With prepare-able Metamagic, sorcerers keep their RAW small list of spells, reinforcing their lack of formal training. However instead of sticking to 2 Metamagic options for 10 levels, you get to prepare 2 of the options each day, like how Druids and paladins prep spells. (This daily cap increases at the normal times Meta magic would let you take new options). This lets you make your fireballs Careful and your Dominic persons Subtle when you’re sneaking in the city, while still being able to snipe Distant spells on travel days and pack Transmute spell for that encounter with dragons immune to your fav damage type. For just one shoutout from the legen-Dairy sorcerous Sacharina Frostship, you can experience all the joy the sorcerer has to offer with prepped metamagic, today! P.s. my dm has let our sorcerer do this in our homegame for the last 2 years and it’s been amazing fun

Andrew Dillon

We didn't come up with this, but my wife, the DM, uses social initiative for our large party of 7. It works just like combat initiative, but uses charisma as the relevant stat instead of dexterity. It really helps players who aren't as outspoken to get opportunities for roleplay without having to restrict the more outgoing members of the group.

Intestinal-Bookworms

Howdy Torts, a homebrew item I found on DnD Beyond that I love is the Club Sandwich. It’s a wooden great club that looks like a large club sandwich. It’s not magical, but you do get advantage on your first attack with it because nobody expects to be attacked with a sandwich. It’s a solid concept.

Niko R.

Salutations Tortles, I bring to you from sources unknown the Juicy Crit™! Let me ask you. Tired of criting on an attack only to be disappointed by rolling ones? Phooey, I say! With the Juicy Crit™, instead of rolling twice the dice, you roll the normal amount of dice and add what would be max damage of the dice. Crit with a Greataxe? Roll that D12 and add 12 now why don’t ya. Overpowered? Well maybe, but at least it goes both ways for DMs and PCs alike. Live by the crit! Die by the crit! Never be dissatisfied by rolling now that your party is enjoying a Juicy Crit™! Now for this little marvel, I only ask for a finder’s fee of being thanked for 20% of the damage dealt with each Juicy Crit™. I need this. I have no prospects for creating a legacy and this is my only way of being remembered by history. The thought of doing a guest spot on 8-Bit Book Club like Tortle Jake is merely a pipe dream. Please.

jacob brewer

Hey there tortles and business hydra Jake my pitch is a table rule I’ve been using since the first campaign I DMed that got my players from level 2 to 20 Every other full caster in the game can get access to healing spells with choices of subclasses divine soul sorcerer and celestial warlock except for the wizard so I put forward that the necromancy wizard as necromancy is the ebb flow of live and death should have the ability to add by finding the spell scroll or chose on level up healing word, cure wounds, revivify, and raise dead Thank you

Josh Marshall

Shello venerable Tortles and enterprising echidna Crake Coinwitz, My party kept trying to persuade or intimate cultists, and because I don't have unique backstories and motivations written for each nameless cultist, I devised a simple, arbitrary method for determining how susceptible to persuasion/intimidation a random cultist may be. Cultists are divided into 5 sub-sects and distributed incrementally on a d20 table. 17-20: Susceptible (DC 10) 13-16: Complacent (DC 15) 9-12: Determined (DC 20) 5-8: Dedicated (DC 25) 1-4: Zealot (DC 30) The table is easily adjusted if your cult is mostly insane zealots or if its composition is more heterogeneous. I am seeking 1,000 brownies for a 20% stake in the project. With the investment, I plan to eat them in order to spite Emily. Thank You Extra if relevant: Susceptible cultists are nobodies who are in over their heads. Complacent cultists joined the organization for money or just for a job. They're more easily persuaded with coin. Determined cultists joined in order to accomplish some other goal in life, like proving themselves capable of something. Dedicated joined due to ideological investment in the cult. They need their faith/logic broken. Zealot: They are bought in way deep and mostly beyond the point of no return.

Keith Simmons

Hi my favorite group of jesters! Super short one but feels like it makes fights more exciting. I DM for my friends and when a character falls in battle I roll their death saves behind the screen. I narrate the battle and what's happening with the player, it adds some stakes and makes sense to me as other players wouldn't be that keen to what's going on with a downed character. Cheers, Keith

Cian

My dear, sweet, innocent Tortles. I am here to present to you the Kraken-Knight Fighter subclass. At level 3, these wet warriors gain a swim speed equal to their walking speed, the ability to breathe underwater, the shape water cantrip. Moreover, they can use their bonus action to sprout a number of tentacles equal to half their proficiency bonus (rounded up) which can be used to melee attack opponents, dealing 1d4 cold or bludgeoning and grappling large or smaller creatures on a hit (similar to a kraken’s tentacle attack) (escape DC based on con). Grappled creatures take the d4 of damage at the start of each turn they are grappled. The damage scales as if it were a cantrip. At 7 they can cast Create or Destroy Water at will. At 10, they can grapple creatures of any size from 45 feet away with the option to drag them closer. At 15, they can cast Tidal Wave and Control Water a couple times a day. At level 17, creatures grappled by the tentacles have disadvantage on all saving throws. I am offering 33.9% of this subclass for 1 crisp high-five from each of you, and one additional high-five from any Tortle of your choosing. I giddily await your choice.

Ben Kullerd

Fair tidings to you, oh wise Tortles, and “hey, I guess…” to the unscrupulous tank cleaner, Jork. Have you ever rolled a fat crit, only then to roll 1s on all of your extra damage dice? It’s the worst, and no one had a solution! Until we came up with the CritMax rule, that is! At our home games, I have instituted a rule that makes critical hits more satisfying - upon rolling a critical hit, you roll your normal damage dice like normal, but the bonus dice automatically count at their maximum, ensuring that each Nat 20 deals Nat Plenty…of damage! Now, Tortles, won’t you join us in making sure all crits are too legit to quit…with CritMax!

Fandom Encounters

Tortles. I offer you rules for a shell game of sorts. In an encounter that spanned a city, the BBEG had a base in one of any of the buildings. Movement allowed players to move between buildings without worrying about distance. Actions could be used as normal to fight and hold back enemies or to search a house by rolling a d20. Behind the screen, I rolled a d20, and if they matched, the building was correct and they could notify the party. If it didn’t match I marked a building off the map, narrowing the options. (I tried it and my players got entirely too focused on fighting waves of enemies and so it took a long time. I should have been more explicit in my explanation)

ZZYZZXX

To the hard shelled, freshly waxed and recently unburied tortles (and Amir’s subordinate on that one show) I present to you the Dream Stalker To utilize the DS have the players roll stealth checks and wisdom checks before a long rest. With a DC 20 check for stealth and 15 for wis, failure to beat that results in the DS entering the mind of a player. The DS will do no damage but will rearrange memories of the player to confuse them on goals or even who the BBEG really is. On 5 consecutive failures the DS has residence in the mind and the DM can implement saving throws at any time and if failed the player suffers confusion and acts as if the will of the DS is their own will. To rid of the DS the party must enter the mind by some means of the sleeping infected and face off against the DS who is aided by the infected player for non lethal PVP I’m seeking no payment as having that guy Jack read that he was Amir’s subordinate is payment enough :)

Nicholas Frankel

Greeting, my name is Nicholas- and I would like to humbly submit my proposal to the deeply humid, and stagnant air of the esteemed Tortle Tank. I'm a DM of modest experience, that runs a virtual table to connect with two players in different time zones. I *love* their chemistry, and deeply enjoy running games for them. The conundrum I'm faced with is finding more people to get in the mix, without exposing us all to a tremendous commitment of potentially wasted time. Two players is company, but three is a crowd, and I need at least that if we're to have a proper "fellowship" on our hands! I've thoroughly plumbed the depths of our mutual friends, and found them to be wanting for commitment or interest in getting involved- and am frankly terrified of opening the flood gates for random online weirdos to jump in and burn hours of our valuable time playing as disruptive or flagrantly unpalatable companions. But what if there was a way to limit the ability of an internet psycho to monopolize our time, while still being open to the gifts the right one might bring? I am here to seek funding in a new concept I've cooked up, with the preliminary name, "Crit Roulette". Random players get to pitch a couple of character ideas in response to some brief flavor text of the world and current PCs in it, and we can all ask a few questions and kinda get a vibe check (think something like "Shark Tank" or something less off-puttingly capitalistic) before deciding to commit to a full session. At the elapse of perhaps... 5 minutes time, another randomly selected freak is dropped into the chat and the process begins anew, until a stranger is consented to roll some dice at our table. I bow and scrape before you, groveling for a mere... 1500 gold(?) from your esteemed panel. I am certain it will pay off in *platinum* for a savvy enough tortle. Cheers!

Nicholas Frankel

I didn't read the part about eggs! Fuuuuuck! I need eggs!

Joelle H

Hey tortles! I give you the " incredible movable wizard tower" my personal creation! Do you or your players want a place to call home, but your dungeon daddy won't let you settle down.. well have I got the item for you!! Starting with a perception check in the forest, your PCs will find an interesting looking tree. Upon touching the tree, you find yourself transported to a mini dimension of a small forest with a wizard tower in the center... now with the easy payment of some puzzles and defeating the weird hermit wizard inside, you can take one home today! Inside the tower is a small snowglobe of the tower.. weird right?! Well if you take that globe out of the tower and leave through the tree portal you can place this tower anywhere in the world! A new tree door will pop up and you can enter again! Tower can only be moved every 7 days to prevent game breaking... side note I'm a huge fan and would love to know what you guys think. Ps Emily you are my spirit animal.

mumbo

Hey you wealthy nobles out there. I'm introducing the ~Grapple-Gauntlet~, a tool/ weapon worn on one's off hand that occupies said hand (can't hold things ect.). As a bonus action the wearer can launch the grapple making a ranged attack up to 30 feet against a surface or creature. On hit the target takes 1d6 bludgeoning OR is grappled, and if the target is a creature starts a Athletics contest to see who will be pulled to who. For the contest if one creature is a size larger than the other, that creature has advantage, and if the creature is two sizes larger it automatically wins. The loser of the contest is pulled within 5ft to the winner, and in the event of a tie, both are pulled to the middle.

Nota Fed

I thought it was 'turtis'

dani

To the wealthy and wise tortles, and the guest Jack or whoever, I present to you my custom sanity rules for my lovecraftian campaign. Throughout the campaign, whenever my players encounter something beyond mortal comprehension or just plain freaky, they must make a sanity check for a preset DC. The checks are dice roll plus wisdom AND intelligence modifiers (to make it a little more fair for those who aren’t smart or aren’t wise) if they fail the check by less than 5, their next sanity roll has a -5 to it. If they fail the check by 5 or more, they are overtaken by a short term sanity effect. Effects are on a table and range from babbling incoherently to being irrationally terrified of ears. This is to emulate the gradual wear and tear on their psyche, everyone will succumb to the madness of the void eventually. Short term sanity effects and the -5 penalties reset after a long rest If a player crit fails on a sanity check, they get a long term sanity effect, like arachnophobia, a compulsive need to speak in rhymes, or some other fun thing from a table. I humbly ask for no eggs, only your blood oath to Azu’thr’eyh, The Shackled Void (good luck pronouncing it Jake) ps Jake don’t read this out loud but I love you and I’m so sorry for shitting on you but it had to be done

The Chaos and Artist

Hello tortles especially all of you dms I propose to you today the chaos die. You may ask huh what’s that but here and now I a very humble dm have just the thing for you. Do your payers ever talk over you. Disregard or disrespect a npc you worked hard on. Cause to many problems with looney toonsing or basic careless shenanigans. Well I have a fix for that the chaos dice. To implement this into your world you must create a neat and orderly god or high being and use them to mess up your players day. Use the dice to count up to 20 pebblepot esc problems and on 20 release your god on them. I like to use this god in small ways like falling pots and small rock falls. I would like 1 romantic handshake with cadwell and 300 gold to get this off the ground. I look forward to seeing this used in your next adventure

Definitely a Person

Highly Flammable?! What could be better in a new product launch than the promise of that product's imminent destruction? This is planned obsolescence at its finest, bravo!!

Garrett Muir

Hi Tortles, especially Jasper and especially not Jake. I’m introducing the ruling of the concentration threshold, a replacement for concentration checks. Are you tired of constantly rolling concentration checks every time you take damage, sometimes multiple times per turn? Or forgetting a crucial concentration check, having to go back and roll, which can affect other turns you’ve already played? Well if so, I give to you the concentration threshold. When you cast a spell that requires concentration, make a constitution saving throw and double it. If the outcome is under 20, increase it to 20. Record this number. It is now your concentration threshold. When you take damage greater than this number, your concentration breaks. Simple as that! No more constant rolling and checking, no more breaking the flow of battle, all you have to worry about is one number and the damage taken. Plus, the anticipation for the amount of damage becomes all that much greater! I’m asking for only 7 eggs, at least 3 boiled, for a 50% stake!

Definitely a Person

So cute!! Pls also give advantage on charisma cause that's adorable.

Akian Chainey-Raymond

Greetings wise Tortles and human Jake. I bring you today "Expertise for all"! Tired of seeing your Rogue/Bard roll a nat 2 and still manage to get a 19? Well, I have the solution, expertise for all! At level 6, classes other than Rogue or bard get expertise in only one skill of their choosing, as per usual expertise rules. While it removes some fun for the usual expertise classes, it also brings some balance to the other classes, as I believe a monk who can run on walls and run faster than a car shouldn't mess up a 3 foot drop due to a low acrobatics check. I only ask for one egg as I am currently very hungry.

LeCurve52

Esteemed Tortles on High, as well as Average Jake on a Little Above Sea Level, I present to you my own specially designed race of frog/toad humanoids, the Anuradon. What sets them apart from Bullywugs and Grungs is their four distinct subrace variants. Please pause and enjoy. Anuradon Homebrew Race: Ability Scores: +2 Dex, Size: medium or small Speed: 30ft walking and choice of 30ft climbing or 30ft swimming Amphibious: you can breath air and water. Natural Weapon: you can use your tongue as a whip against your enemies. You are proficient with it and its uses your dexterity to hit and has a reach of 10ft. On a hit, it deals 1d4+dex slashing damage. Alternatively, on a hit, the tongue can grapple the target creature instead of dealing damage. While grappled in this way, you have advantage on attacks against this creature, but disadvantage on attacks against other creatures. Only one creature can be grappled in this manner at a time, and while a creature is grappled like this, your tongue can’t be used in any other way. Languages: you speak common, Aquan, and one other language of your choice. Subraces Tree Frog: Ability Scores: +1 wis Darkvision: You have Darkvision up to 60 ft. Camo-frog: you have proficiency in either stealth or survival. You have advantage on checks using the chosen skill while in swamps and forests. Spring-loaded: you can add your proficiency bonus to initiative rolls. Dart Frog: Ability scores: +1 con Colorful Defense: you have proficiency in either deception or performance. Venomous Saliva: your tongue attack deals poison damage instead of slashing. In addition, creatures grappled by your tongue take 1d4 poison damage at the start of each of their turns until the grapple ends. This damage increases to 2d4 at 5th level. Toxicity: you have resistance to poison damage and advantage on saving throws against being poisoned. Bullfrog: Ability scores: +1 str Predatory Nature: you have proficiency in either intimidation or athletics. Catch Jumping: as a bonus action, you can jump up to 5 times your proficiency without expending any movement. You can use this trait a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus and regain all uses after a long rest. Ambush Tactics: You can use the hide action as a bonus action. Powerful Build: You count as one size larger when determining your carrying capacity and the weight you can push, drag, or lift. Desert Toad: Ability Scores: +1 Int Vision Inducer: You have proficiency in either nature or arcane Innate Spellcasting: You know the Prestidigitation and Friends cantrips. As well, at 3rd level, you can cast the spell Nathair’s Mischief once using this trait, and at 5th level, you can cast the spell Hypnotic Pattern one using this trait. You regain the ability to use this trait after you finish a long rest. Intelligence is your spellcasting ability for these spells. Psychedelic Skin: As a bonus action, you can coat a weapon or a single piece of ammunition with your toxic secretions. The coating will last for one minute or until you successfully land an attack with the coated weapon. When you hit a creature with this weapon, it must succeed on a DC14 Constitution Saving Throw or be stunned until the start of your next turn. While stunned like this, the creature experiences intense hallucinatory visions and has disadvantage on Intelligence Saving Throws. You can use this trait a number of times equal to your Intelligence modifier (minimum of 1) and regain all uses after completing a long rest.

Anyssa

Heyo tortlos! I present to you cyclical changelings, a mechanical way to add some identity crisis to a changeling character. This was inspired by my changeling wildfire druid who had multiple personas with different names and appearances, but it could likely work with other versatile classes like cleric. Traditionally, changelings can shapeshift at will, but this system represents some internal conflict that is making it more difficult. Essentially, the player creates specific archetypes/identities associated with their chosen cycle and chooses specific abilities for each one, within the scope of what they have the potential to do. For example, the Seraphina aspect of my character embodied fire and destruction, so she was primarily limited to damaging fire spells. On the other hand, the Nessa aspect embodied regeneration, so she could heal and use spells like Plant Growth. Switching between aspects requires a roll (WIS or CHA, DC set by DM) and when done successfully, switches the prepared spells, but does not change spell slots. Use of the shapeshifting ability outside of "the cycle" would only be allowed with a higher DC and for 1d100 minutes (for disguise purposes, etc.) This complication could be resolved via an appropriate character arc. I hope that you find this idea entertaining and offer both fire to cook and freshly grown herbs to season any eggs you may invest. (my name is pronounced uh-niss-uh if relevant)

ChappyThoughts

What's good for a podcast, a chase scene, or taking the bored out of boardgame (will work better in audio)? Not the speed stat. So, I present to you the Speed Skill. In brief, calculate your speed as normal, then divide by 5. That's your bonus. "Can I move close enough to attack?" Make a speed check. Hasted? Advantage on the check. Bonus action to Move? Either check as a bonus action or get advantage. +10 to speed stat? Well that's +2 skill bonus. I hope you enjoy the fun.

ChappyThoughts

(side note to Jake...you do a great job) (side-side note: I have a website that is being updated but is still available with more non-sense: chappythoughts.com if you want some more bad d&d takes :) )

Stephano

Thanks to the new D&D movie trailer , there’s been a lot of controversy surrounding the party’s Druid wildshaping into an Owlbear (since the Owlbears are technically monstrosities and not beasts) . I think Druids , or at the very least Moon Druids, should be allowed to wildshape into bestial monstrosities as their capstone ability . A: because it’s rad af & B: why the hell not ? They’d still adhere to wildshape stipulations & a Moon Druid’s level 14 ability is pretty meh .. (can cast Alter Self at will)

The one they call Barlo

Cool guy points. Taken from a YouTube channel I cannot recall (apologies to OP). They're like a poor man's inspiration points. I award them for creative play and for players that last a whole session, and show up on time. They can be used to change d20 results. I say it costs 2 CGPs to change your own die by 1 (e.g. a 16 can be made 17), it costs 3 points to change a team mate's die number by 1 and 4 CGPs to change the DMs die by 1. To mitigate abuse there is no pooling of CGPs, only 1 person can pay from their own pool and not just chip in to the pot. I find this improves punctuality, increases creative play, builds teamwork nicely and can sometimes save a DM from a dreaded crit. I also often find people will mostly use it to change a number by more than 1 result often and as such they do not metagame save them for boss fights and often use them for daft things, much like actual inspiration points I suppose. For this I'll require a 5% stake in the budding birdlesque Jake is getting underway. Thank you

Christina Yen

To the powerful, generous, and esteemed Tortles and Jake, the wayward koi floundering in this tank. My colleague and I would like to present a home-brew rule we are calling the “Animorph Rule” #Racheldiesattheend What druid doesn’t want to push the boundaries of their wild shape? What DM doesn’t want to increase the stakes? This is where the Animorph Rule comes in. When a druid Wild Shapes, they are able to maintain the beast shape for longer than their current druid level allows. For every extra hour they spend in beast shape, they must make an Intelligence saving throw (DC10) to see if they are able to transform back into their normal shape. The DC increases by 2 for every consecutive hour they spend in beast shape. Furthermore, if they fail a saving throw, they are unable to revert back to their normal shape, and unable to use Wild Shape for 1d4 days.  For example, if your druid Tobias is at level 4 and has used both of their Wild Shapes (a total of 4 hours), but wishes to scout ahead as a redtail hawk for two more hours, they would need to roll an Int save of DC10 for the 5th hour and a DC12 for the 6th hour. If they do not pass, they will then have to roll a 1d4 to determine how many days they cannot use Wild Shape, and they are stuck as a redtail hawk for the same length of time or until an otherworldly being grants them the ability to Wild Shape again.  If a druid drops to 0 HP while Wild Shaped in this way, they would revert back to their original form (carrying over any damage), but they would be unable to Wild Shape for 1d4 days. We chose Intelligence over Wisdom because we argue that every extra hour in Wild Shape would make it harder to regain one’s human intellect and revert form. We believe this adds not only increased stakes in an epic campaign, but also adds a lot of fun at lower levels for players looking to push the features of this class. We are asking for the small investment of 1 Owlbear egg and in return, the Tortle who funds us will be hailed the hero who kept our world safe from a secret alien invasion. -Christina and Liza

Brogan

Hello tortles, today I am pitching my home brewed spell “speak no evil”. The mechanics work as follows; the spell works as a kind of silencing spell. The person who the spell is casted on is told that they are not allowed to speak of certain events, conversations or information that they know. If they try to speak about these things after the spell is casted on them, while they hear themselves talking normally, everyone else will hear gibberish or babbling on about some unrelated topic (caster’s choice). The player has to be able to see and touch the person in order for the spell to work. Other players that have had the spell casted on them, and told not to speak of the same information, conversation, etc. are able to hear and understand what the person is saying loud and clear. For example, in the campaign I used this in, a princess who was hiding told both a shopkeep she trusted and her guard of where she was going. When the guard met the shop keep, and the players asked where the princess went, the party heard the shopkeep speak in tongues, while the guard understood her fully. Only the person who cast the spell can uncast it unless someone casts dispel curse on the person. Honestly I don’t want any money, just here to tell other people how to fuck around with their party

Tom Bruynell

Hey Centaurs, today for you I have a deadly disease spell that when cast lowers a player’s hit point max by 1 d6… at first. Each long rest the character will take an additional d6 lowering of their hit point max (2 d6 the first night 3 d6 the next etc.). A lesser restoration will restore 2 d6 max hit points, a greater restoration will remove the disease entirely.

Gunarso Nguyen

Upcasting Counterspell also provides a +1 bonus to the caster level check per level above 3rd. This way, upcasting Counterspell is still useful even if you can't cast it at a sufficiently high level to automatically counter an opposing spell.

Magma River

Gotta be honest I only realised recently this wasn't already in the rules. Just seems so instinctual!

Riko H

Gave my party 2 faulty bags of holding, one used for a gender reveal that causes anything taken out to be covered in glitter, and a bag that always weighs 15, and can hold up to what a normal Bag of the size could, to get more space they have to sew it on lol

Calum Walker

Hello Tortles today I will be pitching "Lore Checks". Most of the time when a player makes a roll to see if they know a piece of information they will use an intelligence based skill (history, arcana, religion etc.) With my nifty new mechanic your players will make a roll using any skill using a mental statistic (int/wis/cha) to gain a specific type of information (common knowledge, common sense and gossip.) Also instead of the normal help action any players who don't want to make a Lore Check can use any skill to give them advantage as long as they can justify how it would help. Say a ship sails into your harbour town and your PCs want to know about the captain - your barbarian makes an athletics check to lift the gnome wizard up over the crowd who then rolls a history check, your rogue makes a slight of hand check to steal a spyglass for the cleric who rolls perception on the captain and your ranger rolls stealth to steal a dock workers uniform to give to the bard who rolls persuasion. Your wizard would take note of the insignia on the flag and realise its from a trading company that's relatively new, they're known for taking on dangerous contracts and making lots of cash quickly. Your cleric would notice how the captain strides purposefully past the Dock guards and goes straight to the Dock Master, he has an easy smile and the Dock Master greets him warmly but the captains hand never strays far from the hilt of his saber. Your bard would start talking to the workers by the peer and would start hearing rumours that the reason he has such good luck is because he consorts with sea dragons, or he has an alliance with a kraken or that pirates are too scared to harry him but one thing all the rumours have in common is that beneath the charms and smiles he's a bone deep bastard. This gives players agency during lore dumps and encourages deep dives into the world you spent so much time devising. I am asking for 2.5 million for a 12% stake in my idea

Brian M

I like the gender reveal one lol

Samson

The main homebrew rule that I've used in every campaign is allowing players to apply their Str modifier to Intimidation rolls instead of Charisma. It doesn't make sense for a 7ft tall Goliath with tattoos and battle scars not being able to intimidate people because they are socially awkward.

Brittney Bee

Esteemed Tortles I wish to present My proudest creation as a dm,the ring of the moon Druid. This ring requires Attunement by a druid and allows the following benefits. 1) Wild-shape becomes a bonus action and the creatures can be up to challenge rating one. And 2) at level ten assuming all four elemental gems are set in the ring, spending both wild shapes for the day one can wild-shape into an elemental. It may only be really useful to a Druid who is not already circle of the moon but it does allow for great story hooks if the gems are not already set into the ring.

Liza Silina

Hail and well met Tortles and Jake! I would like to present my homebrew spell: Petra’s Perpetual Yawning LEVEL: 2nd CASTING TIME: 1 Action RANGE/AREA: 120 ft COMPONENTS: V, S DURATION: Concentration 1 Minute SCHOOL: Enchantment ATTACK/SAVE: CON Save DAMAGE/EFFECT: n/a For the verbal component you fake a big, satisfying yawn. A single target must make a constitution saving throw against your spell save DC. Evil aligned creatures make the saving throw with advantage. On a failure, the target cannot stop yawning and is unable to cast spells that require a verbal component. The target also has disadvantage on attack rolls, as well as any ability checks that rely on verbal skills. The target can repeat the saving throw at the end of each of its turns. For each additional level at which it is cast one creature of your choice that sees the target yawn after the first round must also make a constitution saving throw, or be affected by the spell.

Josh Meier

Good Day Tortles and Jake the Grub. A new mechanic rule for potions: The d4 of a potion is replaced be the characters hit dice. A potion for a wizard (d6) would heal 2d6 + 2 where as a paladin (d10) drinking the same potion would heal 2d10 + 2.

TankBear

Hey tortles, today I'm pitching a simple rework to the critical hit. Normally, when you land a crit, you roll all your damage dice twice. This can be and has proven effective in upping your damage compared to a normal strike, but even with double the damage dice, there is still the possibility for all of them to be 1's. What myself and my friends employ is a simple tweak. critical damage is as follows: max damage for one hits worth of damage, then roll your damage dice as normal. Essentially, you're rolling one set of damage dice AND adding the maximum possible damage for that roll to the modifier. This way, there's no chance that a crit doesn't feel critically satisfying.

Rick

A potion of second wind is a cool idea, actually

Rick

Supwr cool idea! A charisma save would work too, as you're personality gets overtaken by the animal mind. And I think being stuck in wild even at 0 would help avoid cheering it and keeping the steaks high

Rick

Aw! Owlbear Cave was such a great name for DnD version of Shark Tank/Dragons Den(UK version)

ThroatyPigeon

Hey Tortles let's see if I'm Tortley enough for the Tortle club. I'm seeking funding for simple homebrew death saves rule that eill help add tension and counter yo-yo style combat without being too gritty for the average gamer. I am proposing that failed death saves should persist until you have a long rest. I'm seeking two paw-paw handshakes in exchange for the use of this creative homebrew (which didnt come about from a misreading of the rules).

Drew

I present to you my magnum opus, NYX'S GUIDE TO VERSATILE CASTING. There are three facets, but the first is the most important (so I invite Jake to cut out the second and third for time if need be <3). 1. At character creation, and whenever you take your first level in a spellcasting class, you decide which ability score is your spellcasting ability - of Intelligence, Wisdom, Charisma, and Constitution - based on your character's backstory and flavor (e.g. a studied Intelligence-based Ranger). Your chosen ability replaces any mention of the original for your class where it intends to reference spellcasting ability (e.g. Bardic Inspiration), but not where it relates to skills (aforementioned Ranger can't make Survival checks using INT). You may mix and match origins and classes as makes sense for your character, with DM's approval (e.g. a nature-based "sorcerer" character could use the Druid class with Charisma as their spellcasting ability). When multiclassing, select that new class's ability based on the origin/flavor of these powers as well. While it might be useful to pick the same ability you're already using, don't force it if it doesn't fit the vibes. Example: a PC based on Poison Ivy starts as an INT-Artificer, but then takes levels as a CON-Druid. 2. Established spellcasters multiclassing into a third caster class (i.e. Arcane Trickster, Eldritch Night) may use their original class's chosen spellcasting ability for that given subclass. This represents them using their extant magic talents in new ways, as opposed to learning this magic from scratch. 3. Spellcaster characters whose race grants innate spellcasting may use their class's chosen spellcasting ability in lieu of the one provided in the race description. This is already long as hell but if anyone reading is intrigued, I like REALLY go into it and give some guidance on matching ability score to origin/flavor here > file:///C:/Users/61490/OneDrive/Pictures/dnd/Nyx's%20Guide.pdf

Bobomb36x

Good TIDE-ings tortles. Have you ever wanted to just go into battle and soak up damage without worrying about silly things like not having a healer or potions? Didn't feel like playing a barbarian, or maybe the dm keeps hitting you with elemental attacks and spells? If you'd all check under that bridge, i believe youll find your answer. Thats right, Its my custom Troll pc race. As a troll, in addition to darkvision and the ability to speak giant, you'd have a natural pool of regeneration "charges" equal to your proficiency bonus that refill every long rest. As a reaction immediately after taking damage from a non-fire or acid based attack, you can spend one of those charges to recover 1d8 HP. Now i know what youre thinking, "at later levels, 1d8 wont hardly compare to the damage some bosses can do in a single attack, let alone a round of combat". I have some good news because at lv 8, your regeneration charges bump up to 2d8. You would also gain a natural armor class of 8+DEX+CON, but you would be incapable of wearing regular armors. What more could you want from a troll, am i right? How about 3 different subraces for a little more personality. The frost troll variety comes equipped with cold resistance and your choice of proficiency in athletics or survival, and can be easily reflavored into a yeti or abominable snowman for a winter themed one shot. If your best friend just so happens to be a donkey, and you are tired of all those fairy tale creatures squatting in your front yard, a natural claw attack that deals 1d6+str poison damage and immunity to poisons or disease may be just the thing you're looking for And if neither of those suit your fancy, maybe youd rather be a cave-born troll. It can get lonely in those caverns, so your people skills may need a little work, but a proficiency in intimidation and +1 hp per level sure make it easier to hold your head high (and maintain your moderator status on all those message boards). I would be asking for 6 eggs, or one goat, for exclusive access to the bridge and the chance to RE-generate a lot of fun in your next campaign. Thank you for your time and I hope my demonstration KELPED paint a picture of the wonderful places a troll can take you.

Derin Hota

Greeting Tortles! I have an idea that will hopefully make us rich with all of the lettuce that we could ever want. I humbly present: Overchanneling In moments of desperation, when a spellcaster has expended all of their spell slots but circumstances call for their magic regardless, they can attempt to Overchannel and cast a spell without the slot. Upon Overchannelling, the character must make a Con save equal to 10 + the spells level. On a failure, they will take levels of exhaustion equal to the spell’s level. On a success they take half the levels of exhaustion rounded up (minimum of 1). I believe this rule allows for big all or nothing moves in times of desperation which I think are always fun. I’m looking for an investment of 3 eggs or 4 hearty city pigeons to help bring my vision to the world. Thanks!

Jen

hello torts. My mess of homebrew comes from running a magic NYC campaign. It was a first time dnd experience for everyone, so I asked for input one world building. First thing they said: drugs. Then: it’s the 80s! And I added broadway. So we created the magical drug snikalsnorf that can be taken all sorts of ways. I was a new DM and so I wrote up the rules below to really show I had no idea what I was doing: -at the beginning of each day or the session you roll 1d6 to see how much snikalsnorf you brought with you -you must do snikelsnorf x times a day, x being your level if you become addicted. -there are dealers around to buy from -every day you don’t do it, you gain a point of exhaustion -When you do snikalsnorf during combat, you have to roll a d20. -If you are able to create snikalsnorf plus, you may chose the above or below option. 1: Lose a limb 2: Disadvantage on next roll 3: Advantage on next roll 4: become poisoned 5: Short rest happens (healed fully) 6: Become unconscious 7: Long rest happens (spells are back and can use abilities you can use x per day) 8: See a round into the future 9: Become prone 10: Gain another packet of Snikalsnorf 11: You are now sick and have to go to the hospital to get it fixed (can’t use snikelsnorf until do so) 12: Can talk to the city 13: A cop sees you 14: Can summon a catapult goon or paladin goon to help 15: Use up all your snorf 16: Heal you and your teammates for 5 points 17: Hurt you and your teammates for 5 points 18: Become stunned 19: temporarily gain +5 str modifier 20: gain +2 points to any stat permanently This resulted in someone losing an arm and the group performing surgery - during combat - to attach an octopus arm. The octopus had unfortunately been killed at the carnival my party was attending. He was in charge of the kissing booth. Other homebrew: A jacket that lets you summon ghost monkeys. A birdhouse quarterstaff that has a chance of summoning birds when you hit an enemy. Swim trunks that have you -1 charisma and +1 AC (you had to wear them over your outfit). If you sang a short song during the session (remember, broadway), the whole party got 1D8 of bardic inspo. Rules for a hotdog eating contest where the PC would pitch me their strategy, I secretly send them the amount of D20s to roll and which modifiers to add. Of course, cheating was allowed. A shovel that after everyone in the party rolled a NAT 20 (four in a row) turned into the shovel of friendship and did 3D12 + 4 and killed my time traveling dragon in 3 rounds of combat. Really it was my fault because before the 4th nat 20, I said “I’ll make this shovel fucking crazy if you roll another nat 20.” And I have learned to never say that again. It is okay if you don’t invest in my products. I am happy to be here. Thanks for your time. Shout out to my current dnd character, Bramblepelt, the 45 year old tabaxi cleric who is the size of a house cat I love him.

aidan Sanders

Wassup oh great turtles, I bring before you and idea sure to reap all the profits, I call it executioning damage: Basically it is a form of damage that only works if it were to kill an enemy, for example if a target had 20 HP and you did 10 normal damage and 10 executioning damage you would kill the target, however if the foe had 21 HP then you would only do the measly 10 damage. Some magical items might have this damage type as a special finishing ability, like if you crit you get to roll double damage along with double executioning damage leading to some insane finishers attacks. All I ask from you turtles is 1 egg preferably hard boiled but scrambled will do. Thanks

Horny advocate for Welly's carnal audiobook (edited)

Comment edits

2026-09-05 07:00 I don't know what Tortle Tank is, but I have a homebrew booze table I enjoy. I run my games with Stamina HP, so HP represents the amount of energy and control characters have during a fight, with zero representing a successfully landed strike. In this way, they aren't shrugging of multiple stab wounds with a single night's sleep. It also means that alcohol can sensibly function as potions, and as we all know from the mean drunk we know, verses the sleepy drunk we know, different boozes effect us differently. So the first time anyone in my game drinks a new alcohol, (wine, beer, rum, etc) they roll 1d8 to see how it effects them. 1 Violent - Intimidation &amp; attack perks, but short fuse RP. 2 Sleepy - Modified sleep potion mechanics. 3 Sick - Poison damage. 4 Stupid - Extra Intelligence and Wisdom penalties 5 Amorous - Love potion mechanics 6 Durable - Healing potion mechanics (stamina HP) 7 Confident - Charisma bonuses and fear buffs. 8 Warmth - Cold resistances. All effects requires constitution fails (which you can choose to fail) and effects increase with drunkeness. Every alcohol grants Constitution boosts and Intelligence/Wisdom penalties, higher levels cause exhaustion and eventually blackout; an immediate long rest, requiring a history checks to remember what happened in the last 12 hours. Eventually there are always constitution roles for hangovers. I'm considering asking everyone to roll a luck check to avoid cholera if they drink water, but I think I'd rather boozy shenanigans stay optional.
2022-08-04 10:52 I don't know what Tortle Tank is, but I have a homebrew booze table I enjoy. I run my games with Stamina HP, so HP represents the amount of energy and control characters have during a fight, with zero representing a successfully landed strike. In this way, they aren't shrugging of multiple stab wounds with a single night's sleep. It also means that alcohol can sensibly function as potions, and as we all know from the mean drunk we know, verses the sleepy drunk we know, different boozes effect us differently. So the first time anyone in my game drinks a new alcohol, (wine, beer, rum, etc) they roll 1d8 to see how it effects them. 1 Violent - Intimidation & attack perks, but short fuse RP. 2 Sleepy - Modified sleep potion mechanics. 3 Sick - Poison damage. 4 Stupid - Extra Intelligence and Wisdom penalties 5 Amorous - Love potion mechanics 6 Durable - Healing potion mechanics (stamina HP) 7 Confident - Charisma bonuses and fear buffs. 8 Warmth - Cold resistances. All effects requires constitution fails (which you can choose to fail) and effects increase with drunkeness. Every alcohol grants Constitution boosts and Intelligence/Wisdom penalties, higher levels cause exhaustion and eventually blackout; an immediate long rest, requiring a history checks to remember what happened in the last 12 hours. Eventually there are always constitution roles for hangovers. I'm considering asking everyone to roll a luck check to avoid cholera if they drink water, but I think I'd rather boozy shenanigans stay optional.

I don't know what Tortle Tank is, but I have a homebrew booze table I enjoy. I run my games with Stamina HP, so HP represents the amount of energy and control characters have during a fight, with zero representing a successfully landed strike. In this way, they aren't shrugging of multiple stab wounds with a single night's sleep. It also means that alcohol can sensibly function as potions, and as we all know from the mean drunk we know, verses the sleepy drunk we know, different boozes effect us differently. So the first time anyone in my game drinks a new alcohol, (wine, beer, rum, etc) they roll 1d8 to see how it effects them. 1 Violent - Intimidation & attack perks, but short fuse RP. 2 Sleepy - Modified sleep potion mechanics. 3 Sick - Poison damage. 4 Stupid - Extra Intelligence and Wisdom penalties 5 Amorous - Love potion mechanics 6 Durable - Healing potion mechanics (stamina HP) 7 Confident - Charisma bonuses and fear buffs. 8 Warmth - Cold resistances. All effects requires constitution fails (which you can choose to fail) and effects increase with drunkeness. Every alcohol grants Constitution boosts and Intelligence/Wisdom penalties, higher levels cause exhaustion and eventually blackout; an immediate long rest, requiring a history checks to remember what happened in the last 12 hours. Eventually there are always constitution roles for hangovers. I'm considering asking everyone to roll a luck check to avoid cholera if they drink water, but I think I'd rather boozy shenanigans stay optional.

DC47 (edited)

Comment edits

2026-09-05 07:00 Hey Tortles, thank you for your time...I will keep this brief. I bring to you for your consideration, the "Panic Action". It is guaranteed to speed up game play and decision making for many players. Although this may be something that does not affect you prefessional TTRPG folk, for many of the rest of us, watching players hem and haw for 5 minutes deciding what spell to cast, or whether or not to use an ability is mind numbing. So, at the start of each session, each player decides on a character specific panic action, ie: attack nearest enemy, heal most injured party member, cast fireball, piss their pants and run, you get the idea. Now, when the DM says "what do you do?" they start a count down clock, we use 60 seconds (which is enough time for most people), and if you haven't said what you're doing in that 60 seconds, your character panics for that round, and does whatever their panic action is...even if it makes NO sense. Panic actions can happen in or out of combat, so depending on your chosen panic action, the results can be pretty damn funny. Now, I'd love to capitalize on this idea, however, it is not mine, BUT, after 40 years of friendship and D&amp;D, my DM still refuses to listen to NADDPOD, no matter how easy I make it for them, so, it's free for the taking, no eggs needed! Anyone who won't even give y'all a chance deserves to have their ideas taken by the lowest bidder. Cheers all, see you in Vancouver!
2022-08-04 16:30 Hey Tortles, thank you for your time...I will keep this brief. I bring to you for your consideration, the "Panic Action". It is guaranteed to speed up game play and decision making for many players. Although this may be something that does not affect you prefessional TTRPG folk, for many of the rest of us, watching players hem and haw for 5 minutes deciding what spell to cast, or whether or not to use an ability is mind numbing. So, at the start of each session, each player decides on a character specific panic action, ie: attack nearest enemy, heal most injured party member, cast fireball, piss their pants and run, you get the idea. Now, when the DM says "what do you do?" they start a count down clock, we use 60 seconds (which is enough time for most people), and if you haven't said what you're doing in that 60 seconds, your character panics for that round, and does whatever their panic action is...even if it makes NO sense. Panic actions can happen in or out of combat, so depending on your chosen panic action, the results can be pretty damn funny. Now, I'd love to capitalize on this idea, however, it is not mine, BUT, after 40 years of friendship and D&D, my DM still refuses to listen to NADDPOD, no matter how easy I make it for them, so, it's free for the taking, no eggs needed! Anyone who won't even give y'all a chance deserves to have their ideas taken by the lowest bidder. Cheers all, see you in Vancouver!

Hey Tortles, thank you for your time...I will keep this brief. I bring to you for your consideration, the "Panic Action". It is guaranteed to speed up game play and decision making for many players. Although this may be something that does not affect you prefessional TTRPG folk, for many of the rest of us, watching players hem and haw for 5 minutes deciding what spell to cast, or whether or not to use an ability is mind numbing. So, at the start of each session, each player decides on a character specific panic action, ie: attack nearest enemy, heal most injured party member, cast fireball, piss their pants and run, you get the idea. Now, when the DM says "what do you do?" they start a count down clock, we use 60 seconds (which is enough time for most people), and if you haven't said what you're doing in that 60 seconds, your character panics for that round, and does whatever their panic action is...even if it makes NO sense. Panic actions can happen in or out of combat, so depending on your chosen panic action, the results can be pretty damn funny. Now, I'd love to capitalize on this idea, however, it is not mine, BUT, after 40 years of friendship and D&D, my DM still refuses to listen to NADDPOD, no matter how easy I make it for them, so, it's free for the taking, no eggs needed! Anyone who won't even give y'all a chance deserves to have their ideas taken by the lowest bidder. Cheers all, see you in Vancouver!

Godot

Good tidings my Torts! My proposal for you today is to make Zone of Truth more spicy (do Tortles enjoy spicy foods?) RAW the person who casts Zone of Truth automatically knows who passed and who failed their saving throws. A creature that passes the saving throw is universally distrusted of course. Meanwhile a creature who failed cannot speak a lie, which leaves the person in the hot seat (usually the DM) in the difficult spot of having to either speak in a roundabout way to mislead but not lie outright, which a table of 6 people will see through right away, or be silent. Instead I propose we make the hot seat HOT...literally. First we remove the saving throw and everyone is affected while in the zone. When a creature utters a lie inside of the zone, they take radiant damage equal to the modifier of the spell caster--minimum of 1 (e.g. a Paladin with a +5 CHA would inflict 5 damage the first time). Each subsequent time they tell a lie, the damage doubles. Characters can make insight checks when they think that a creature is lying to them; each time they do, said creature will make a deception check (roll regardless if it was truth or fiction to keep the bluff up). The creature that cast the spell has advantage on Insight checks while in the zone. The investment I'm seeking for this idea is your hottest egg (temperature-wise or aesthetically, your choice).

thedragonllama

Hello Torts and Turdises, I come to you today looking for an investment of two eggs, over-easy, every Sunday, for my Coat Jacket of Accounting. I originally created the coat for a worm businessman NPC named Slugworth (via willy wonka) who llives in an underground gold horde. The homebrew item works as follows: "This Stylish Coat has Cool Shoulder Pads. It also grants the following benefits: - 5ft Burrowing Speed in Soft Ground (dirt, sand, mud, etc.) which grants you half cover - Swim speed of 25ft in coins - +1 to your INT score - Advantage on INT checks about math, accounting, money, value, risk, statistics, etc." My shelled friends, I believe this item could be a boon to many fellow business minded folk, and a lucrative investment for you all. Also, I am wearing the prototype and burrowed 5 feet in the ground, so I am sure you are impressed. Thank you for you time.

Gunarso Nguyen

Passive checks for baseline knowledge for everything. For example, a passive Arcana is 10+proficiency+ Int mod, and players don't need to roll to know things that someone educated in that area would generally know. I use it for lore dumps. A passive arcana lets a PC know what spell is being cast by an enemy spellcaster before they decide if they want to counterspell it. I use a DC = 10+ spell level if it's a spell on the class list of the player, or 10 + 2x spell level if it's not. A passive religion check would let a PC be familiar with the basic tenets of a religion, a passive performance to perform a simple piece that is common, like a nursery rhyme or a popular song if the stakes are low or meaningless. It cuts down rolling and allows for simple lore dumps for PCs.

Gunarso Nguyen

Rolling a natural 1 is not a critical failure, but PCs are given the choice to let the DM make it a catastrophic failure in exchange for a point of inspiration. If I really feel like screwing the players, I'll negotiate with them and offer them multiple points to screw them harder.

Kyle Corbett

Fey for the day. My group and I are kind of crunchy when it comes to the rules but will occasionally let the rule of cool sit at the table. In recent campaign several members of the party were satyrs and centaurs. Essentially this boils down to because those two playable races are “Fey” instead of “humanoid” a niche group of spells and abilities specifically target humanoids. (RAW) When approaching a minib boss to members of party asked if they could get married to benefit from the ceremony spell, which is one of the spells that only impacts humanoids. This lead to bedlam in the discord over the topic of fey marriage (ceremony). What we came up with was this, a fey race creature has the choice to roll a d20 at dawn, with a 50% chance to be a humanoid. One interaction of this rule also flips the rule so That a recently humanoid fey would need to repeat the process to successfully return from humanoid creature type to Fey. We currently have a centaur who has been a humanoid for the last 3 sessions.

Devin LaGrone

Greetings illustrious Tortles. I’ll cut to the chase. Do you believe there aren’t enough classes in Dnd? So do I. Thus I introduce to you the Spiritualist class. In short this class is a Wis based spellcaster who uses their knowledge or connection to the cosmic energy of nature to buff allies and debuff enemies. Much like the Warlock this class makes up for a lack of spell slots by using their unique class ability called “Gifts from Beyond” and an action to bless or curse creatures as they see fit. Subclasses (Callings) for the Spiritualist include: The Enlightened, (able to Block/Unblock Chakras to modify physical prowess), The Wiccan, (able to form a Coven with her party, enabling allies to spend parts of their turns to bolster each other’s spells and magical abilities) and The Shaman (who specializes in creating wards specifically designed to hinder undead and extra-planar foes) Obviously there is a lot more that I can’t succinctly throw into this pitch and admittedly there is more work to be done. But if you get in on the ground floor I’m willing to allow you the rights to play test this class at no cost

Mama Hot Tomato

I just want to say I love this, and I'm wondering if it would be better to mold these traits more to skills than straight up abilities? Craven giving a bonus to Stealth, for instance, Deceitful to Deception, etc. Love CK3 and I think this is a great idea for implementing the wobbly Ideal/Bond/Flaw mechanic in-game.

Martian

Dang I can't believe I missed this! I've been working on so many homebrews!