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D&D Court: Tiny L's, Cursed Bran, and The Dinosaur-Free Jurassic Park (Patreon)

Published:
2024-02-02 04:33:14
Imported:
2026-06
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AD-FREE EPISODE FOR $5+ PATRONS!

Dungeon Court is back in session! Join Justices Murphy, Tanner and Axford, as well as the lowly, lowly (just two?) Bailiff Hurwitz as they convene to pass judgement on your trials at the table!

Dungeon Court Theme Song by Sam Weiller

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Comments

Canid Duality

Hell yeah. Murph working extra hard this week. Thank you good sir.

Shy-senpai

I legitimately went back and listened to Murph's rant while imagining him at a wedding.

Lilly Anderson

alright but gnomeo and Juliet is pretty cute :)

Stoopid Dog

Nebraska mentioned 🗣️

Mthunzi Ramphele

The Ring of Grammarian is such a fun item! I think it's from The Adventure Zone podcast. Those McElboys had a lot of awesome fan-submitted items at the Fantasy Costco

Martian

LMAO anyone else reminded of the DND episode of Community when they tried to cheer Neal up with a game?

Clever Innuendo

Promise people with joke characters that'll your run a one-shot to let it get out of their system, but be firm for a campaign!

Cameron C

I just want the next mixed bag to be everyone just making up new dumb spells Geas- Peas was the best one

Pitlane Pilot

Maybe the real Ws were the lower case Ls we made along the way 🫶

Andrew A

Ring of the Grammarian is from The Adventure Zone btw

The Kiekster

Love the spell-changing option. Recently gifted the party wizard a "dyslexic's spellbook" and he came up with "Find Family..ar" to help locate another PC's son

Alan Ma

Lmao Murph, "Holy shit, dinosaurs are real!"

Nova

I don’t remember the last time I laughed so hard out loud from start to finish with little l’s

GaiusOrpheus

Okay hear me out. Change the Ring of Grammarian to Ring of Librarian and say it's a ring belonging to librarians from a multiverse library of spells. Once per day you can attempt to, as an alternative to creating and mastering a new spell, alter the lingua arcane of a known spell in an attempt to tap into one the many many spells out in the multiverse that share a name. The spell must be cast at least one level above it's original level. The DM sets a D100 DC for the player to tap into their intended spell. For every level above +1 of the original spell the dc lowers by a factor set by the DM. On a failure, the DM decides on a seperate spell of the same name to be enacted.

Nathaniel F

We would certainly watch Unjurassic Park.

iamnotjackblack

Imagine having that ring and casting power word Bill

thiswayjose

My reaction to Emily admitting she’s eaten Fruity Pebbles was the exact same reaction the boys had.

Elsa Miesch

Invisible barbarian cannot be polymorphed into a t-Rex cause you need to see the target to polymorph it

Larry Thomsen

I think they used it in dungeon and daddies as well

Jeremie Levesque

I did the ring of the grammarian in a campaign once! My spin on it was that everytime it's used it had a chance to break DC 2 after the effect occured. The player would tell me what they thought the new spell would do, and based on how much more powerful than the current spell slots I would give them a new DC for the chance to break. This was negotiated before rolling so a player could back out if it was too risky. And if it was mostly a joke or less powerful I might even wave the check entirely. It worked pretty well

Jae

can we please talk about saan gee from one piece that shit made me cry

Callum

Can't believe no one mentioned the obvious potential spell "PolyMurph" where you summon a bunch of murphs

PastaCortez

Pirate dad sucks and so does their SO ✌🏼

Murph

The stern “are you done? I’ll wait” energy from Murph during the ass tattoo discussion had me fuckin cracking up

Jake Letourneau

Nils Trost! I can here to say just that!

Frank

Murph’s hypocrisy on full display as he fails to even remotely acknowledge all the times he’s quoted other media out of character as well

Fox

Just here to agree with the people suggesting the 1 Letter Change Spells as a Mixed Bag.

Murph

I’ve been into crocheting tapestries recently and I so very want the next one I make to be “string cheese for my haters”

Unbaked

So glad these lowercase L's become a \/\/ once you get enough!! i learn so much here

Gearbox

We call it the ring of the wordsmith in my campaign, our version lets you change, add, or subtract one letter from a spell. Best use I've seen (so far!) Was them casting "lightening bolt" to make a cart light enough that the barbarian could pick the whole thing up and jump over a chasm while carrying it over his head.

Zachary Smith

100s of episodes and absolutely the biggest plot twist in the history of the pod

SeminoleDVM

Oh hey, it’s The Grinch.

Sodzha

I feel attacked by Florida sad.

Jenkers

Emily not knowing that Fruity Pebbles was a Flintstone’s branded cereal is peak comedy.

Annie the Feywild therapist

Oh my god them freaking out about Emily not knowing Fruity Pebbles being Flintstones is SO GOOD

Pamphleteer

Is the Ring of the Grammarian from TAZ or did it exist in some version of DND before that?

Brieanna Elliott

I want to change geas to keas and get a bunch of New Zealand parrots!

Impish

the urge to open up premier pro right now and create Park the movie is indescribable

Brandon

It's from TAZ, yeah.

Brandon

I gave ring of the grammarian - it's from TAZ Balance - to a PC once, with the stipulation that every time they used it, they'd have to roll a DC18 Arcana check to see if the next spell they cast would change a letter without their meaning to, or it changed on top of their changes - if they used it more than twice per long rest, the check to have it screw up got progressively harder, and the consequences more weird. It was mostly used for goofs, which was nice, as I didn't have to rebalance stuff that much and there was an agreement in place that if the change was too powerful or too stupid we'd change it up to make it not as game-breaking.

Brandon

firebolt got changed to firebelt a lot, just for the image of some schmuck NPC who was being a jerk having a ring of fire around his waist.

soyyyyyysauce

It is SO fun to open up the little guy faucet

Victoria Sa

The laugh I laughed at the “Tiny Nut” has made me the weird girl at the office now. I’m not even sad about it.

Kyle Veach

On the pirate campaign, cursed joke character, issue. Whenever this comes up, I just have to wonder...could the player just say, "ok, I'll save that character for another game." and make a new, fun character? Are people not capable of making more than 1 fun idea? The player is being obstinate because they're being asked to not mess up the vibe of the setting? Grow up.

just us chickens

Guys I really like the Raisin Bran with Cranberries 🫠🫠🫠

happylinlin00

the way emily says "i turned geas into peas" like a confession will live rent free in my head for the rest of my life LOL

Rafael C

So true kings. I'm not your hater but I'm both a hater and I am yours, so thanks for the nutritious feed.

Clotilde

After a pregnant silence emily saying "I turned geas into peas" is the funniest thing in the goddamn universe

Jeffrey Steck, Lord of the Fjord

Emily having a Flintstone’s related Christmas tradition yet not knowing that she does, is what makes her the most interesting person in the world and a must listen.

teapot

thank you! i couldn't figure out where i'd heard that before

The Fun Yaunt

Shout out to the haters for giving us a hilarious bit this episode — you deserve a string cheese

Shel B Kennas fav SG is welly’s number one felly

my favorite moment in the Trinyvale x Bahumia arc was Jens panicking his dr evil impression wouldnt be funny anymore once he saw obsidian riding the bonjangles, the horse riding horse lmaooo

Jake the Accountant

Hot take, I’m with the super normal guy Justice Murph that quoting things isn’t funny.

Big Papa

hey i’m the cursed ceral dm according to my friend they have only played this character in the other four campaigns they’ve been in 😭

Justin S

Leomund’s tiny - OH I’M GONNA GRINCH

JigMink

Don't sweat killing your players with accidental ogres in Dragon of Ice Spire Peak. I would have killed mine with intentional wererats that you encounter later because they're immune to all non-magical damage and the players don't have any magical or silvered weapons. Luckily, I forgot about this and thought they were only resistant to non-magical damage.

Tim

I would watch a full length version of Jurassic Park with no dinosaurs. No cuts, just take out the Dino’s.

Kyle Veach

That's...actually crazy. You shouldn't have to deal with that nonsense, especially in a campaign with new people. Seems like you wouldn't be missing anything by not having them in your game.

teapot

when is the bonus episode usually released? x

Adam Blacharski

Cauldwell Pronouncing Sanjis name wrong really hurt me and im not even a one piece fan

Laura Webb + Michael Garcia

Leomund's Tiny But Level 3 spell Casting time: 1 reaction Verbal component You quickly ammend a spell that is being cast by attaching a new clause to it. See counterspell rules to determine whether or not the clause you add takes effect. Example: a mage casts fireball, BUT it also fills the pockets of those targeted with gold. 😂

Mad Dungeon Mama

I don't know why... But "I turned geas into peas" made me just about wet myself 💀

Everest

This is a dungeons and daddies item, and the stepdad sounds like a bad version of Ron Stampler, stepdad. But the word changer they used had a break roll of 15, those items need to be limited!

Witpending

I truly believe that Murph is the most patient man alive

Hannah

that's so absolutely unhinged.

Devin Tyler

Absolutely criminal to not bring up the Honeycomb mascot monster

Evan

The revelation that Emily has had a Fruity Pebbles based tradition for years and never realized Fred Flintstone was on the box is an all-timer

Finn Cunninghm

Power word Kilt - foe turns into Fat Bastard

Godot

Or you turn into Fat Bastard and they get into your belly as long as they're a baabby (100 HP or less)

BassToad

I wonder what happened to that main character paladin

Fyco

Panther jump. 5e jump distance = High Jump. When you make a high jump, you leap into the air a number of feet equal to 3 + your Strength modifier if you move at least 10 feet on foot immediately before the jump.

Colin Kilzer

they need to branch out more then lmao get out of their comfort zone, im glad the court could find you justice

Tim

Sage Armor - either armor made of leaves or armor that makes you calm.

Colin Kilzer

ngl when emily admitted to not knowing fruity pebbles was the filntstones. it negatively impacted my view of her character lmao

BassToad

I think the ring showed up in TAZ, but it's been a homebrew item for a long time

BassToad

ALSO, Ring of the Grammarian gameshow when

Alex Schafer

Emily sheepishly " I turned geas into peas" I knew it was going to be silly but that answer far exceeded my expectations🤣

Nick Lerche

Emily with the fruity pebbles blindspot made me shit my pants

Thomas Sullivan

“My haters are feasting on lowercase l’s” is such a hard quote

Kelsey K

If you accidentally TPK your players and they really didn’t deserve it, boom next session the whole party wakes up in the afterlife and they have to find their way back. Customizable side quest as long or as short as you want it to be and you can fix your dm oopsy without ruining the stakes

Brock Anderson

Who knows who I'm talking about when I say Captain Qwark?

Connor

Witch Dolt—concentration spell to reduce the casting modifier of a target by 2 or something

Everest

Oh yeah totally, it’s a homebrew sent in by a fan for dndads anyway, but their break mechanic for it was a nice work around!

Mars Sink

Look I understand the case is done, but for the t-Rex case, that wizard should have had to roll concentration on the invisibility. All imma say is

Meghan

No on one cheek, yes on the other, maybe on the hole

Josh Burns

Tasha's Hideous Slaughter. Basically Power Word Kill but an AoE.

cdstafne

Too many victories for the haterz, even if they were minor.

Jeremy Tyler

I spent 10 minutes tryna to positive spin it or give her the benefit of the doubt, but.......HOW HAVE YOU NEVER SEEN THEM ON THE BOX?!?!

Katy Howells

Peas is such a good spell tho

Weston Thorman

Caldwell’s “WHAT!” To Emily not knowing fruity pebbles are flintstones related has me rolling

Meapyboy1234567

🤣😂🤣😂i can’t believe Emily didn’t know that Fruity Pebbles was associated with the Flintstones

Verdigree

If that paladin's armour makes them immune to magic, then NONE of the rest of their magical items or abilites should be able to affect them, and no one's gonna be able to heal them or cast a resurrection spell on them, they cannot be teleported, but if I'm the villian, I just steal the armour while they're sleeping, or if they're so set on being a hero, force them to give up their armour to save someone

Thomas Hegarty

I love that we got a dm shutting down a joke character pre campaign and it was just as messy. At least it saved the dm the pain of playing with them

SeminoleDVM

I turned Geas into peas 😵

William Bowen

Microwave Mac and cheese for my haters!

Koty Kai

I swear I've heard about that ring before, a convo has definitely been had about turning 'wish' into 'fish'

Ryan Scott

Murph’s character progression arc with his haters is absolutely the most entertaining part of the show for the Dungeon Court segments lately. It feels like he has reached peak form of critical analysis even being able to nuancely critique himself in a tense relationship with the haters in a humorous and lighthearted way. Absolutely masterclass performance. I’m loving the genius of it, and yet it is so ridiculously stupid at the same time. Peak NADD. I needed the inspiration this weekend.

Kat Sokol

I’m sure someone has already said this but Ring of the Grammarian is from the Adventure Zone Balance when they used to have listener submitted items at Fantasy Costco!!!

Kat Sokol

Yeah it was a listener submitted item back when they used to do that!

Chris

Re: joke characters. I think this is partially a consequence of so many good and funny podcasts doing joke characters that often follow the joke -> genuine arc (Caldwell’s “the cereal curse is real and we have to solve it”). A lot of (often younger) players go in to a home campaign wanting to instantly have the rapport and trust that those podcast hosts have / wanting to just have that same experience they had listening to the podcast. If the only D&D experience you have is listening to DaD, you’re going in with an incomplete and inadvertently selfish view of what TTRPGs are. On that show, for example, a player plays a depressed dad that speaks in a monotone voice (VERY similar to the proposed Kenku character) and that same player never really learns the rules to 5e (ex never sneak attacks as a rogue). It works in the show but ONLY because the cohosts are all in on it / knew what they were getting going in. It sounds like the Kenku player wanted an experience like that and maybe assumed that all D&D games had that sort of vibe. See also Reddit posts like “I turned TAZ season 1 into a campaign but my players didn’t take exactly the same actions as the players did in the podcast, how do I get my cleric to cut off his hand like Merle did?” Or, other podcasts such as The Dragon Friends that have an extremely antagonistic and extremely funny relationship between the DM and the players. It almost goes without saying: those podcasts are run by performers who trust each other / know they are producing content other people will consume. That is not the dynamic of 99.9% of home games. Being antagonistic against your DM to try and get laughs will and probably should get you booted from the game. I think a LOT of D&D court cases are born out of the above dynamic. I never expect the hosts to really acknowledge it (bc how do you without talking about other podcasts, which seems in poor taste) but wanted to get it off my chest anyway

Robert

To answer the “what do we do” question re the Panther - the real Supreme Court routinely issues opinions that are essentially “Party A is right, but not for the reasons they claim - here is why we side with them.” Which is what I recommend for the Supreme Crit - let the Panther gnome win the case, but refuse to endorse the Wikipedia defense.

2D

Turn rope trick to dope trick and just do a sick Ollie instead of hiding

Ryan

I've given my players the ring of the grammarian a few times (though I make it a monocle cuz it's more fun) and it's always so fun. Had to make a rule about not just adding an s to every spell though. Too many fireballs.

Kelsey K

I cannot FATHOM this, it would feel sacrilegious to me to play the same character in multiple campaigns, even if they’re from a dead campaign and I miss playing them. Something just feels so wrong about it. Then again I have about 10 times more character ideas than I do campaign opportunities so I wouldn’t really want to anyway.

Larry Scott

Tensers Floating Dick. That's all.

Gavin L.

My theory is that Emily is buying Fruity Dino Bites unknowingly

Mortimer Lunch

The Emily/Fruity Pebbles moment has officially convinced me her lack of tv & movie knowledge is just a bit. I love it. 😂

Kayleigh Z

I honestly never realized until this episode that fruity pebbles were Flintstones-related 🙀 Or I suppose if I did as a kid I forgot?! Never actually eaten them.

HorsesAreGodsHimbos

What if you let the players roll on the ring of grammarian? Anything other than a nat 20 (and maybe anything under a super high DC?) means the DM decides the spell effects, and a nat 1 (or anything under a certain DC) the spell completely backfires in a very bad way for the PC. A liiittle bit similar to the system used in D20s Misfits and Magic. Maybe even add advantage or disadvantage under certain circumstances? (Can’t think of any specific possible examples atm). It would add a level of risk that could somewhat counterbalance the absolute brokenness of this item while still allowing the players to have a small chance to do what the want.

HorsesAreGodsHimbos

Just seeing Brandon’s suggestion above — that definitely would be cool too.

Ya Girl Olwen

I’m using the Ring of the Grammarian to turn my lowercase Ls into lowercase Ws.

Jeff Moore

The canonical reason Jake is a lowly, lowly bailiff instead of a judge like the rest of the crew is his lack of Dragonball Z knowledge

Scott Pateros

I have cranberry Raisin Bran in my pantry right now and it’s delicious :/

Drew

I’m glad Emily also thought of turning Mage Hand into Rage Hand. A notable spell during the campaign was turning “Galdur’s Tower” into “Baldur’s Tower” where everyone inside lost their hair

Echo

I'm a Gemini and my best friend is a Pisces and we're constantly bickering about shit that doesn't matter anymore. Neither of us let anything go.

John C.

I was also unaware that fruity pebbles were Flintstones related

Adam!!!!!

i really think that swapped letter spells could be a fun potential mixed bag

K.C. Thompson

Swapped letter spell- polymurph: turn 1 creature into Brian Murphy.

Tallerballer

Thank you for your judgement and punishment! It was definitely a “fun fight” as we were all new to DND and forgot to look at the panther stats as Gnomeo never used Luna in combat. The argument mostly consisted of Wikipedia, YouTube videos of panthers, and what the actual weight of a gnome would be and would it weigh down a panther too much to be able to jump. I’ll take the tiny L back to the group as the first group punishment, but mostly we just enjoyed pushing our DM’s buttons lol

Serpent Prince

Ok- my dear friend plays a sad kenku (flavored as a seagull) from Florida (not the real Florida, my world just has a place called Florida) who started as a joke character, but quickly became the campaign’s sweetheart. Emily Axford, get out of my head!

Adam McBroom

Armor that smells like weed.

Adam McBroom

You can't get stats for real world panthers from wikipedia or anywhere else because they don't exist. Panthers are a mythological creature. If you think you saw a photo of a panther, you really saw a jaguar (or possibly a leopard) with a condition where it produces excess melanin.

Anthony

Absolutely tickles me that the little l is capital in the description 😄

wizard wearing a poodle skirt

Murph, you didn’t just say “One million dollars”, but also in the opening rhyme for the second episode your Jens rhyme was “Does that make you horny baby?” Take some responsibility

Psykodactyle

Now I NEED a list of alternate words that can go in spells

Moonlit Ghost

I think my favorite thing about the non campaign episodes is how much more short rest energy has bled into the main show over time. I subscribed on patreon specifically for the short rests so having that energy for even longer makes my day that much better

Katie P.

The ring of the grammarian is right out of The Adventure Zone - I remember it turned Divine Word into like Divine Wood

DazWaz

Cranberry hate! Unacceptable!!

Mavid Stan

Wildshave: you take the hair off any animal

WitchKingofAngmar

The person not wanting a cereal cursed player in their pirate campaign missed a real opportunity to make a one piece-esque pirate crew of all the cereal mascots.

Jake’s jerk jelly #CCC

God dam Murph ate this ep. As someone who listens to these at work. Y’all make look insane, just laughing maniacally for seemingly no reason. Thank you

Quantum OFZENTRIX

I would just like to congratulate you on your name

Joshua Miller

I like the idea of “Lend” as a loan shark who ruins the party, or “Liamunds tiny nut” giving +1 to wisdom due to post nut clarity.

Jordan Lyons

Protection from Evil and Food

Alexander Lawrence

Cannot believe no one mentioned the game changing "Liamunds Tiny Putt" which conjures a mini golf course

Bulbarat

The cinnamon toast crunch and I believe Krave cereal mascots are fucking insane too, they cannibalize

Tyler Board

In regard to the short rest I once had a DM that said that since long rests were 8 hours a short rest would obviously be 4 hours. No one ever wanted to short rest for that long, so we never took them.

Murf'nLurph

Invisible TRex is cool af. Yall are crazy

Bread Cat

Well then it seems like you're even cause you definitely spelled his name wrong...

Summer Tribe

where oh where did murph get the impression that wish is entirely at the DM's discretion

Paxton

Peas

Alethea Hansen

This is exactly what I was coming to say! Idk if it’s from TAZ originally or if someone just submitted it and its from something else, but I know the dm of this case didn’t come up with it lol

Sophie Hall Artist

How did they not think of turning polymorph into polyMurph?!

Mr. Micholaus

Had to come back to this one because I’ve had “I turned Geas into Peas” in my head for a solid year now

Lilli of the bog

Friend I moved from SD to WY and have lost all hope of anyone mentioning the wretched state I live in 😔

Iris

POLYMURPH (spell effects to dm’s discretion)

riskutforthebriskut

im always so confused why some DM's are so vehemently against rests in general? like if your encounter sucks when PC's have their abilities, maybe you should rebalance some things hahaha

Kaidan C

I thought it was obvious from the question that the problem was silly joke curse bumping up against the planned curse plot Somehow they boiled it down to “two curses bad” which I don’t think was the submitters intention.

Kaidan C

I mean, it’s not exactly fun when characters want to pause the game to rest every five minutes either Some of us enjoy the challenge that comes with being low on resources too

riskutforthebriskut

thats awesome but my point still stands lmao has nothing to do with stakes or the challenge if you just arent allowed to ever rest, thats just making shit more laborious for no reasin

A suspicious rat

Cereal mascot one-shot, traveling through 90’s commercials to find a bowl of lucky charms. I can picture caldwell playing count chocula

Just_another_queer

Im back agreeing with everyone that yall should do a one letter spell change mixed bag of holding