License to Film — Eternal Beach City (Patreon)

Speaking of badass secret agent movies, what’s going on with that James Bond refresh I’ve been hearing about for… at least a year now? I know casting is still underway, and even though I know that’s the topic all the news clickbait articles are salivating for the public to flip out over, I’m more interested in where they’re wanting to take it tonally.

Like, for the Danny Craigs era the whole idea was to move away from outlandish gadgets and silly quips and towards a more realistic, grounded Bond. I’d say that shake-up worked out well for them, but was that because modern moviegoers crave gritty realism? Or was it simply the fact that they shook things up? I’d wager it’s the latter.

So, does that mean they’re gonna flip the script they previously flipped, making it right-side-up again? Are we going to get a Bond so outrageously cartoonish that he gives Bugs Bunny a run for his money?

You know what? I know I said I wasn’t particularly invested in who they cast as 007, but if they do veer the series down this hi-jinx-laden path, I may have some suggestions for who I’d put in the running: Willem Dafoe, Danny DeVito or Nathan Fielder.

And yeah, I know none of them hail from the UK, but how else are proprietors of hard-hitting news supposed to get them cliiiiicks?! Gotta maintain that ecosystem, brah.