Chapter 33: Giving My First Sermon... as a Rock?! (Patreon)

Chapter Thirty-Three

Giving My First Sermon... as a Rock?!

Waterhold looked angry.

Alice was not sure what she had expected when she had first told her new cultists to parade her through the streets, but the dozens of bodies crammed into the abbey had certainly not come with open arms. In fact, the only people smiling seemed to be drunk, and Alice could not be sure if they even knew what was going on.

The abbey was dimly lit, the only light coming from several glass windows that flanked the spacious sanctuary. It reminded Alice faintly of the church she had attended when Mom and Dad were still together, though this place had all the religious elegance of a dumpster. The abbey was a perfect reflection of its unwashed [Priest], though with none of his newfound zeal.

Both Alice the Rock and FOT's doll were hoisted out of the cart and carried reverently to the back of the sanctuary. A raised platform with a wooden pulpit sat beside an unusual-looking clay object not dissimilar to a tribal totem. It was beside this clearly religious icon that both Alice the Rock and FOT's doll were placed.

Ana the Acolyte looked as confused and afraid as the many residents of Waterhold. Somehow Alice knew the woman was not aware of Kuonrat's true faith, which made Alice suddenly wonder how the man had even attained his priestly station. Hadn't he been living up in the mountains with the other cultists three short years ago?

Her thoughts were interrupted, however, as Kuonrat raised his hands in a practiced request for silence.

Nobody sat in the wooden pews that filled the sanctuary. A nervous chatter filled the abbey as the several dozen confused men and women simply stood and stared up at the pulpit. Alice the Rock haunted the space behind where Kuonrat stood, FOT's doll resting against the heart-like core of Alice's new body.

"Many of you are unfamiliar faces!" Kuonrat boomed, and the people of Waterhold quickly fell silent. "You have spurned this abbey! You have spurned the blessing of Zora, who presides over this territory!"

Alice could not help but bite her nonexistent lip. She did not think it was particularly wise to insult everyone. None of them looked particularly enthused to be here in the first place. She could see shame on some faces, anger on others.

"Was your foul breath I spurned!" someone shouted, and some of the shamed faces filled instead with relieved anger. Kuonrat clearly was not well-liked.

The Priest acted as though he did not hear the shout, did not notice the anger brewing amongst the crowd.

"But it is not kind of me, no, not kind of me to say you have spurned Zora's blessing," Kuonrat continued, and a few turned to one another, clearly as confused as Alice at the Priest's flip-flopping.

Their confusion died, however, as Kuonrat's thunder filled the abbey.

"IT IS ZORA THAT HAS SPURNED YOU!"

An unusual sound, like that of three dozen people inhaling all at once, echoed around the abbey. Every face within looked as though they had just been slapped.

"She has little blessing to give!" Kuonrat continued. "Her presence is barely felt in these lands!"

"You can't... can't say that!" someone shouted, but Kuonrat ignored him.

"We have faith, you drunkard!"

"Go wash out your rotten breath!"

"I have served as a [Priest] to Zora for these past three years," Kuonrat said, ignoring the shouts, "but I have not felt one shred of Her Light in all of those years!"

Several gasps went up from the crowd. Alice did not think the sermon was off to a good start. She realized now she had sort of counted on Kuonrat's authority as a [Priest] to convince and convert the people of Waterhold, but...

"Heretic!" someone shouted, and the word seemed to birth a hundred dozen whispers from amongst the crowd. Alice watched as several people slipped outside the abbey, fear and concern etched across their faces.

This... This isn't working! Alice thought nervously to herself, and her nonexistent eyes fell onto FOT's inert body.

The doll's face was slack, its multicolored eyes half-open, but the black robes it wore were certainly priestly. They did not have quite as many stains as Kuonrat's either.

Biting her lip, Alice allowed her vision to sweep once more over the crowd. Kuonrat had continued his sermon with zeal, but none of his words seemed to be reaching anyone.

Alice had to act!

It felt like a lifetime ago when she last shaped cursed energy with her invisible hands. It had been fun then. A distraction then. A little game to play while Urd clapped and smiled.

This must be why FOT left this body behind, Alice thought to herself as she gathered up a ball of cursed energy and pushed it into the motionless doll. She must have known I'd need it to convert the town!

Buoyed by this optimistic thought, Alice willed FOT's body to stand.

As it turned out, controlling a small stuffed animal was much easier than manipulating a five-foot-tall human.

Almost immediately, Alice could feel something was wrong. The doll's limbs sprang to life, eager to obey, but they did not obey well. The doll flopped meekly like a fish, earning a moment's pause from Kuonrat's speech. The Priest turned around as Alice's nonexistent face filled with embarrassment. 

Come on! Push yourself off the ground!

Alice focused on the doll's hands, but this vessel had ten fingers, each with a mind of their own. With Roobit the Rabbit, Alice had only needed to contend with two short nubs. 

There we go! Alice cheered inwardly as she managed to ball FOT's hands into fists. She was able to valiantly push the doll up off the ground... whereupon it slammed right back down as [Haunt Object] ran out of cursed energy.

"Wh-what is that?!" someone shouted as Kuonrat took a startled step back, revealing the shambling horror that had previously been hidden behind his bulk.

Come on, come on, come on! Alice whined to herself as she pooled together another ball of cursed energy.

She suddenly felt a lot less confident about this plan. She wasn't even entirely sure what she wanted to do with FOT's body once she managed to get it onto its feet.

But I need to do something!

Alice pushed another ball of invisible black into FOT's doll. Sweat pouring down her invisible face, she was able to ball the doll's hands back into fists. She forgot about everything else as she struggled to first bend the elbows and then the knees and finally push FOT up and onto her feet.

There we go! Alice cheered, triumphant. It took all of her concentration to keep the doll from toppling over, however. Left and right, front and back, the doll jerked awkwardly back and forth.

But at least I'm on my feet, Alice thought to herself, suddenly feeling a little giddy. The whole abbey seemed to be holding its breath as they watched FOT stagger beside a startled-looking Kuonrat. Alice's own expression looked little better.

"Should probably fix that..." Alice muttered to herself. The doll's eyes remained half-open, its mouth slack as if drunk.

If Alice thought controlling ten fingers was complex, lifting FOT's eyelids was a Herculean struggle all on its own. She had never considered how difficult it was to make sure both eyes were open the same amount. FOT's left eyelid kept twitching higher and higher, revealing more and more, while the right eyelid kept drooping shut like a malfunctioning garage door.

And then the eye itself!

For some reason, FOT's eyes kept rolling into the back of the doll's head, revealing little more than flashes of white for the people of Waterhold to gawk at. It was enough to make Alice want to rip out her hair, but she doubted very much that she could even perform such a complicated manoeuvre.

If Alice was not careful, FOT's fingers would simply writhe like a gaggle of snakes.

This is a disaster! Alice screamed within the safety of her thoughts. What had she hoped to accomplish by horrifying the abbey with this freak show? This couldn't get any worse!

Several frightened shouts went up as [Haunt Object] ran out of cursed energy.

Not only did FOT collapse like a discarded puppet. The doll stumbled and fell onto the weird clay object that shared the raised platform with Alice the Rock. The religious icon toppled sideways as still more anger and fear filled the room.

"I understand, God!" Kuonrat barked, and he hastily snatched up the religious icon and lifted it over his head.

Eh? Understand what?! Alice realized the clay object must be some sort of totem to Zora. What do you understand?!

"This false relic of Zora shall stain this abbey no longer!"

And before Alice could think to stop him, the Priest hurled the clay icon against the nearby wall.

The abbey immediately filled with horrified shrieks as the icon crashed against the wall and shattered into several pieces.

"A daemon!" someone shouted. "Th-that thing's a daemon!"

"The way it moved! We've been hexed!"

"The Priest is daemon-touched!"

Alice's nonexistent face burned brightly with shame as her poorly performed stunt earned her innumerable shouts of fear. Pandemonium took hold and seemed only to heighten with each proffered shout.

"Someone call the watch!"

"Momma, I'm scared!"

Several dozen had crammed into the abbey, but many now broke for the exit as if the building were on fire.

All right, forget about FOT's body! I need to... Let's just use some [Serpent's Whispers]!

Her [God Sense] allowed her to study each and every frightened wrinkle in the crowd. She reached out to those most fearful, whispering simple desires to stay, to listen, to obey. Far too many were overcome with fear and anger to quiet the rumble that was filling the abbey, however.

Oblivious to Alice's efforts, Kuonrat turned and gestured to Alice the Rock's malevolent form.

"YOU FOOLS!" he boomed, the violence of his shout cowing some into silence. "Do you think me some godless heathen? Do you think I invite Kaos into our midst? No! I welcome back a god older than Zora! I welcome the true God of Waterhold into this holy house!"

Alice momentarily forgot all about spamming [Serpent's Whisper]. She had the awful sensation that she was back in school and the teacher was about to call her to the front of the room to introduce herself.

"BOW! BOW, ALL YOU UNWORTHY, TO MASTER ALICE OF THE MERRY WEATHER!"

Silence.

Dead silence.

Alice forgot much of her fear as humiliation tickled her nonexistent cheeks. Nobody seemed to very much care about the old god of Waterhold. Perhaps if she had better control of FOT, she could make the doll wave its arms excitedly behind Kuonrat, but she was afraid to even try after the previous disaster.

F-Forget the doll! If only I could wiggle my stalagmite arms! Alice thought to herself, her head filling with an anxious silliness. The problem was she simply didn't have that many divine abilities. I suppose I can make people... feel better?

Biting her lip, she tugged on Kuonrat's ear. She did not think as though calling Urd up to the stage would help much with the town's anger. The child had pressed herself up against a wall, her eyes wide with fright as shouts continued to fill the abbey.

"Kuonrat, I need you to... I wish to demonstrate my healing ability," Alice said, and Kuonrat stiffened as she spoke to him with a [Malevolent Whisper]. "Have them pray to me! If they pray to me, I will heal them!"

"BROTHERS AND SISTERS!" Kuonrat boomed, and some of the anger retreated as once more the people were shocked by the Priest's zeal. "Our Master Merry Weather, God of Waterhold, has spoken to me!"

"He's daemon-touched!" someone shouted, but Kuonrat would not be deterred.

"She recognizes your lack of faith, but in Her kindness, does not hold it against you! Please, brothers and sisters! Clasp your hands together in prayer! She will heal you of your sickness if you but turn yourself over to Her!"

And Alice felt the familiar tickle that had become so common back at the dilapidated house when she had watched over her urchins. But it was a familiar voice she heard, one that surprised her.

...please...

...grant them faith...

...turn them away...

...from their misguided Fates...

New Prayer Received

Petitioner: Kuonrat Gaunt

Status: Believer (zealous)

Prayer Category: Salvation

Description: Kuonrat Gaunt prays that the residents of Waterhold accept Master Merry Weather as their new god.

Despite everything going on, Alice could not help but feel rather bemused at Kuonrat's unusual prayer. It also made her realize that she had not received a prayer from him before now. She wondered why that was...

Would you like to accept this prayer? [Y/N]

"You will bring Zora's wrath down on us!" a burly man shouted, and he broke free from the crowd, many of whom seemed wary of approaching Kuonrat and the raised area of the sanctuary.

Alice knew a moment's alarm, but then Ivor and Daan detached from the shadows. Like bouncers at a nightclub, they shoved the man away from Kuonrat, and he fell back violently, cracking his head against the abbey floor.

So stupid! Alice thought to herself as, rather than subdue the crowd, the thuggish violence seemed only to strengthen the anger amongst the Waterhold frightful.

None seemed to care about Kuonrat's request.

None seemed to want to offer up prayer.

"Daemons! Daemons!"

"The Priest and his lackeys have turned against The Fates!"

Had it been a mistake? Kuonrat had told Alice the people of Waterhold were unenlightened, but she had plowed on anyway. She tried to simply spam [Serpent's Whisper] at the crowd, but there were just too many people and too much anger filling the room.

Should I try... smiting them? Alice wondered nervously as two more men approached Ivor and Daan, violence on their minds.

But the thought was interrupted by the faintest scratching.

...I don't care...

...if yer a daemon...

...I just want...

...to walk again...

The prayer washed over Alice. She had never noticed with the other supplicants because they had always bowed before her, but as this new prayer tickled Alice's rock body, somehow she knew it belonged to a tired woman, bent over with weakness, amidst the crowd.

New Prayer Received

Petitioner: Maika Huld

Status: Nonbeliever

Prayer Category: Healing

Description: Maika Huld wishes to regain the use of her legs.

The woman could barely be seen amongst the crowd. She crawled on her hands and knees, her misery hidden by those who stood around her.

Would you like to accept this prayer? [Y/N]

"Yes!" Alice said immediately, realizing she had not accepted either prayer. "Yes, yes, yes!"

[Maika Huld]'s prayer has been accepted.

[Kuonrat Gaunt]'s prayer has been accepted.

The situation was deteriorating with every second, but Alice willed with all her strength, focusing all her energies on an enormous [Bless]. She willed that the woman's twisted legs straighten, that she find the strength to walk without a crutch or the support of someone else's shoulder.

"Forget the watch! We'll hang him ourselves!" someone shouted, pushing violently against Daan and Ivor.

"We're Fate-fearing folks here, you false Priest!"

"FORGIVE THEM, GOD!" Kuonrat shouted over the violence of the crowd. "FORGIVE THEM FOR THEIR IMPUNITY!"

Amidst the building horror, Alice watched, her nonexistent breath caught in her throat, as Maika the Cripple slowly pushed herself off the ground.

The woman seemed hardly to believe what was happening as she swayed, unassisted, on her once broken and mangled legs. But then she turned, seeing over the crowd for the first time in perhaps many decades.

[Maika Huld]'s prayer has been fulfilled.

Received experience!

Received faith!

An unbeliever has been converted.

Received experience!

Received faith!

Alice's nonexistent face flushed with victory at the notifications, but still more text flashed across her CCTV vision.

Guidance Followed: [Your First Shrine!]

Reward: New Skill Unlocked

Alice blinked in surprise. Her thoughts turned to the task FOT had assigned her. It had said little more than to establish a shrine in the Waterhold Abbey. Was it possible that answering the woman's prayer had fulfilled that requirement?

And a new skill! That wasn't listed under the rewards!

Alice felt a confusing mixture of anger and frustration, both of which vanished as the new skill revealed itself in another flurry of black text.

New Skill Unlocked: Consecrate Earth I

Consecrate Earth I (Rank I): Your divinity radiates from you like a flame, and you can pass this torch onto the earth itself. You can sanctify an area where your faithful will find rest and your foes will falter in weakness.

A fist cracked into Ivor's face, and blood dribbled down his lip. Alice snapped free from her thoughts as she watched the angry mob grow more and more violent.

The new skill was a godsend that she wasted no time in using... though she had no idea how. She simply willed, as so often she had with [Bless], that the abbey be made hers, that Ivor and Daan find the strength of arm necessary to keep the violence at bay.

Sanctuary Established: Waterhold Abbey

Alice felt nothing herself, but as the unfamiliar notification flashed across her eyes, she could see a transformation come over Ivor and Daan. The same transformation seemed to tickle Urd, Kuonrat, and even Maika the Cripple. Each face transformed with newfound radiance.

"You... You really are God..." Maika muttered. Almost nobody else noticed the cripple now stood, but a tall woman with buckteeth stared, mouth agape, at Maika's healing.

Ivor and Daan were able to push the mob back as Maika's prayer grew louder and louder. The bucktoothed woman beside her swallowed and then clasped her own hands together. Alice could hardly believe her luck as yet another prayer tickled her thoughts, this time a wish for the health of a child still within the womb.

And once more Alice focused her energies, willing strength into the unborn child and the mother that carried them. The tall woman's face flushed with color, and she gasped in prayer.

An unbeliever has been converted.

Received experience!

Received faith!

"I feel Them! I feel God's Presence!"

Like a virulent disease, the faith of the two women spread to those around them. [Consecrate Earth] seemed to sap the strength of those angry and violent, all while filling those who believed with a burst of energy. Prayers tickled Alice one by one, and she answered each with a hasty [Bless].

An unbeliever has been converted.

Received experience!

Received faith!

An unbeliever has been converted.

Received experience!

Received faith!

[Voices of Prayer] has reached Rank II.

An unbeliever has been converted.

Received experience!

Received faith!

Congratulations! You have reached Level 11!

Level: 11

PER: +26

INT: +25

WIL: +27

Divine Trait unlocked: Giver of Healing

A myriad of notifications flashed across her vision and almost overwhelmed her as a strange transformation took hold of the abbey.

"G-Get away from the Priest!"

Those who had offered prayer to Alice, who had been so full of fear and revulsion at the start, now howled with fury at those who pushed their way towards Kuonrat.

Men and women both began to slap and smack, pull and push, those angry many at the front of the crowd. Confusion bled amongst the violent mob as they found themselves attacked from behind. Many broke away, their faces full of fear as they fled from the abbey.

"Where're the Mayor's men?!" someone shouted as they rushed outside. "Daemons! There are daemons in Waterhold!"

Kuonrat's face was radiant as he beheld the newly converted faithful.

[Kuonrat Gaunt]'s prayer has been fulfilled.

Received experience!

Received faith!

"REJOICE! REJOICE ALL YOU WHO HAVE BEEN DENIED FOR SO LONG UNDER ZORA'S NEGLECT!" Kuonrat boomed. "Master Merry Weather is a kind god, a god of healing and acceptance!"

Those who remained in the abbey knelt in prayer. Alice's thoughts, once full of fear and anxiety, became fuzzy with the pleasant warmth of their faith. All thoughts of worry disappeared as she basked in the adoration of her new converts.

"Master Merry Weather knows these lands have not been tainted, but rather purified!" Kuonrat called out to the faithful. "Submit! All of you who once scorned this abbey, who were scorned by its old master, bow now and accept the return of Master Merry Weather, the True God of Waterhold!"

Eleven men and women trembled in prayer, and Alice cheered. She had been so full of fear at first, so full of doubt, but this small step forward vanquished those black worries. She could do this. She could become the God of Waterhold. She could save Urd.

Alice would defy Fate!

Well, that was an optimistic end to the chapter. I sure do hope something terrible doesn't happen next chapter.

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