Seeking Strays - Chapter 91 - Loved Enough? (Patreon)

AN: 1/2 Might be worth waiting for chapter 92 to come out before reading?

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“Operator,” a voice whispered in my head. They never got tired, did they? Always pulling and tearing at my brain. There was only enough room for one self-destructive personality up here, and it was me. 

A warm hug wrapped around me. Shadows danced across the room, blinding the eyes that always stared at me so judgmentally every night. I felt safe. Happy, almost. “There there, silly child. You’re so cute when you’re obedient.”

”Obedient?” I could be obedient. It was the only thing I was good at. I hugged the shadow back, feeling her loving arms pull me tighter into her embrace. It felt like I was falling. Falling so, so far into a happy little dream.

“Of course!” The shadow’s hands ruffled my ears, drawing a silly laugh out of me. I was sprawled across her warm lap, practically melting beneath her gentle touch. “It was my fault the last time. I didn’t truly understand your adorable, innocent heart.”

”Last time?” I asked groggily. Shadows roved around the walls of my room, and for a moment I was back in the forest. Rain pounded me from above, feeling absolutely frigid against me. I curled tighter toward my shadow as if for it to keep me safe. The illusion faded just before I could get cold again.

“It was all my fault that I scared you away.” She sounded so, so very sad about it. I wrapped my arms around her waist to cheer her up. “You just want to be with your sister, don’t you? That’s all you ever wanted.”

”Mhmm…” It was all that got me through the kennel back then. Project HND, heh, what a joke. Miracle cure my ass… My true cure was beside me all along, waiting at home for me to come back to her. A tear slid down my cheek.

“There’s no need to cry.” A hand brushed across my cheek, swiping the tear away. “You’ll be so cute nobody will be able to resist you.”

”Operator, you need to take the inhibitor.” A voice scratched at my ears. The rough sound was grating, causing even the shadows to squirm in discomfort. “Rey—“

”He’s not real. Just another voice trying to turn you into something you don’t want to be.” The hand patting my head pulled away. I squirmed slightly, which drew a warm laugh out of her as she stroked down my back. “You’re so huggable. I might just have to keep you for myself.”

“Really?” My eyes closed, and I held her close. Was I really? Then Sylvie… why wasn’t I good enough? 

“Oh my precious little wolf.” She carefully brushed my hair out of my face. “You have no idea how much I adore that broken heart of yours.” 

Broken? Was I really broken? My mind slowly drifted back through years of memories. Maybe…

”Just keep sleeping. Don’t you want to be cute and fluffy?” A shadow-formed hand stroked down my back, and ruffled my ears softly. My eyes snapped closed once more. Heh, right. I wasn't lovable yet. I would be soon though.

“Operator, please comply.” It was like a static buzz in my otherwise peaceful room. I pushed away the silver plushie for a black one instead. Everyone knew black was the fluffiest color. 

Warm, cozy arms wrapped tighter around me. My scruffy tail flopped in my lap, and I mindlessly pulled out the silver strands without bothering to open my eyes. The darkness was better. Safer. All better. I’d be all better. Wouldn’t I?

“Aw, look at you trying so hard to be pretty for me.” Her hand swept down to my tail, rubbing along the patches of fur. “You really are the sweetest little thing.”

Hands ran through my hair once more, gently and lovingly. She was so full of affection that it made my heart ache. Ache? Why would my heart ache? Ah, right, it was just yearning to be closer. I wanted to be closer. “Sleep.”

I tossed a useless box to the side, and curled up all safe and cozy. I could just sleep forever. Wouldn’t that be nice? I wouldn’t have to worry about anything anymore if I just slept. And slept. And slept. And… slept… … …

”Reyna Vargriev, administer the inhibitor to yourself now.” A noise—no, a voice woke me up. I didn’t bother rolling over to reply. They never left me alone. Always pestering. Always…

”Please, Reyna. You’re losing yourself.”

“What would your sister say?”

”You always said you didn’t want to be a monster, Operator Reyna.”

”Operator, wake up.”

”Canary Vargriev.”

”Barghest.” My ears twitched.

“Operator.”

”Operator?”

”Reyna! Are you okay in there?!”

“Operator, you need the inhibitor.”

”Sis, let me in!”

“It’s not too late, Reyna.”

“Sister, please open the door!”

Something sharp and painful pricked my neck. A surge of warmth flooded through me a moment later, drawing away the rest of my consciousness alongside it. “I… I have you, Reyna.”

Bang!

”Reyna!“

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AN: I know this chap is short! I’m planning on releasing another tonight. I’ve been eating only ramen recently, though, and I’ve gotta go to the store. I’m not sure when I’ll be done to keep writing.

So… sorry not sorry? Lol, actually I am a bit sorry. This felt like it’d be more impactful if it was standalone, and it just happened to land at a really poorly timing.