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Biscuit innocently reacquaints Sunny with his pretty, polite, perfectly pleasant childhood friend Honey Meadowsweet, for reasons that have nothing to do with her barely-concealed disdain for his current girlfriend, Skye.

I've made offhand reference to Honey before, described as a kind girl-next-door that Sunny's parents wish he would make his future wife/mother of some adorable golden grandpups. Honey is a cocker spaniel, demure, soft, and shrewdly intelligent, but golly, never in a way that feels unfeminine or threatening to older dogs like Biscuit and Buddy. Honey is an ace at navigating social settings and has the uncanny ability to make a friend in any room she enters. It truly is a wonder why she's still single. Wonder why that could be...

Biscuit does not like Skye, not one bit. In Biscuit's opinion, there is no girl alive that could ever truly be good enough for her darling boy- but Skye is especially egregious. While Skye is polite enough and has decent manners, often her country upbringing shines through, and she's eager to do things like knock back beers with Jude or wrestle Sunny in a patch of mud. Skye is opinionated and will challenge Biscuit when she makes an offhandedly callous remark- which Biscuit finds quite rude. Little girls should be quiet when grown-ups are talking. Furthermore, Biscuit finds many of the social issues Skye cares about to be pretty pointless, or even made-up just for Skye to feel important. Hmph.  

On a subconscious level, Biscuit dislikes Skye for "stealing" Sunny away from her- seeing Skye love up on a happy tail-wagging Sunny is a rather sad reminder that her son is all grown up now and doesn't need her nearly as much. She misses back when he was her teeny-beanie pupcake, back when all it took to make him happy was Mummy coming home from work. Sigh...  

...Much less sympathetically, Biscuit isn't too keen on Skye's mixed breed heritage. She wants cute fluffy golden grandpups that look like Sunny clones, not spotty splotchy country mutts that would just remind her of Skye. Biscuit usually maintains bare-bones civility toward Skye, but her passive-aggressive side comes out in full force when she's sloshed (which she sometimes is, Biscuit is kind of a "It's wine o'clock" mom).

lil worldbuilding note- kibble is beloved by the canines of FB, it's a crunchy junkfood flavored with an artificial meaty taste, though the higher end stuff is made with real lab-made animal fat and protein. Honey's dish, I imagine, would taste somewhere between irl pork cracklings (crunchy strips of fried pig fat/skin) and caramel-glazed ham. Salty, sweet, and very easy to overeat.

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Comments

Azure-Art-Wave

I've been thinking, how is Biscuit's relationship with Cass and Jude them being other species when she's so petty and hypocritical about her son marrying a similar looking dog just so she has grandchildren that look like them...? Does this affect their relationship with them, and the dad also?

Murkydepths

I totally thought 'Honey is an ace at navigating social settings and has the uncanny ability to make a friend in any room she enters. It truly is a wonder why she's still single. Wonder why that could be...' was a very clever reference to her being ace xD (Also I see that sneaky sunflower in her hair...)

pookaWOODS

WOOF. Ma, please.... But also, caramel kibble sounds delicious!

Rowan Roach

WOW Biscuit. That is pretty fucking awful. can't you just happy that sunny found someone who he loves, and who loves him back?

Robo87

Plot twist:… Honey ends up with a MASSIVE crush on Skye and has zero interest in Sunny as a romantic partner

plutosongs

ohhh, Honey is so adorable, but Buscuit… :/ c’mon, ma’am. also, i /am/ interested in why she might still be single! hm, if she’s keeping herself that way on purpose, and if Honey and Skye might get along any… if Honey makes a friend of just about anyone, would she and Skye eye to eye…

RagingRiptide

Biscuit is >:( but Honey is too stinkin cute!!

LovelyScars5264

Is Honey secretly a lesbian or a psychopath? Is that why she's single?

MiyaLaFlorDorada

Ouch! I showed this to my dad and he had war flashbacks to when he was dating my mom. I am Latina (born, raised and still living in Chile) and the thing that despite the fact that it's a somewhat conservative and sexist culture, those who have the strongest opinion on courtships/relationships are the women in the family. My father in his youth was something like "the son-in-law that anyone would dream of having" a man with a degree and stable job, responsible, hard-working, respectful, independently, a good cook, kind and intelligent. (I'm not kidding that's how his neighbors described him XD ). Everybody in their community wanted him to marry their daughters. But when he fell in love with my mom my dad's sisters (especially the middle sister) were disappointed. It didn't help that he was the precious beloved baby golden child of the family and that my mom was not what they wanted, strong character, radiant personality, not very traditionally feminine (she didn't know how to cook or clean, my dad taught her) fashion sense was flashy, she likes strong colors, and with a loud voice that would never remain silent if you messed with her GOD SHE'S SCARY WHEN ANGRY 😱. Not to mention she's caramel skin with curly hair and my dad is basically milk with straight hair... I think you know what I mean 😔 *cough*colorism*cough* And I think it's also because my grandfather adores my mom since day 1, her shameless fiery personality makes him laugh 😅. Biscuits' attitude reminds me so much of some Latina moms, especially the more conservative ones. Passive aggressive attitude is their second language, and what the heck! Many times they tell you in your face that you will never be good enough for their babies. I have never understood those parents who believe that because they like certain people it automatically makes them perfect as partners for their children, your children are supposed to choose not the you.

lopoddity

I mean you ain't wrong about her having zero interest in Sunny, haha

lopoddity

Biscuit: I'm sorry, you're a....writer for social media? I'm afraid I don't understand, dear. Don't you have a real job? Skye: wow this woman sucks, at least i have my own mom Strawberry: When are you going to get a real job? >:( Skye: *weeps*

Rowan Roach

Awww, Skye. you are doing great dear. ignore them.

Bigsmile

At least Strawberry is upfront about it! Passive aggression is bullshit, aggressive aggression is for cool people

Biscuit

Is there very a time where Biscuit's 'wine mom' tendencies get in the way of her parenting or having a deeper understanding of her children? Especially Jude and Cass? When I first read it, seems like she 'impulse adopted' both of them. Kinda like the lesser version of baby fever with the same emotional and mental consequences of not anticipating that the kids with grow into their own people with thoughts that'll conflict with her own

lopoddity

Hm, well kinda, but really the disconnect between Biscuit and her children stems from the way she is blind to the privilege afforded to her as both a domestic dog and an upper middle class highly educated person. She has trouble placing herself into her children's shoes, because she's never really had to consider a worldview different from her own. Biscuit's (and Buddy's) issues as a parent stems from her egocentrism and ignorance, not so much from wine. She did impulse adopt Jude and Cass. Jude was acquired to be a companion to Sunny after she and Bud had difficulty conceiving again. Cass was a more spontaneous adoption, Biscuit is a pediatrician and found herself taken with a baby seal that was surrendered by a teen girl. I wrote a drabble about this a while back, though I may change some parts later: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “There we go,” Biscuit murmured to herself, carefully tucking the fleece blanket around the pup in a flawless swaddle. “Snug as a bug in a rug!” Her cheery voice echoed dimly against the stark walls of the hospital. The seal pup lay in a plastic cot, awaiting a maternity nurse to whisk her away- into a thicker blanket, then the arms of a set of foster parents, and eventually, hopefully, a forever home. “You’ve got a wonderful life ahead of you, my sweet.” Biscuit said, mostly to fill the silence. “Oshkosh is just crawling with parents hoping to bring home a baby. Did you know my own daughter is adopted? Certainly we weren’t expecting a wolf when we set out to adopt a puppy, but for all the biting and clawed furniture, I wouldn’t trade her for the world.” She concluded warmly, leaning forward to boop Cassie’s nose, “I imagine a cutie like you will have folks lined up around the block to call you theirs.” The gesture was meant to be comforting, but it had the opposite effect. The seal pup wriggled her nose, then blinked open bleary black eyes. The little head cast about weakly, looking for her mother- and then the pup began to cry. Teeny, forlorn squeaks filled the ward. “Oh no no no my love, don’t cry, shush-” Biscuit lurched forward, reflexively about to comfort the infant the same way she’d done countless times for her own children- but quickly checked herself. “Oh dear, what’s taking Stella so long?” She looked around, desperately hoping the head nurse would manifest from thin air. No such luck. She wrung her hands, her long ears slicking back in distress at the pup’s wailing. Oh, to hell with it. Gently, as though handling a porcelain doll, Dr. Fletcher lifted the seal pup and brought her to her chest. Cassie’s cries slowly quieted into soft hiccups, and she instinctively burrowed into the warmth and protection of Biscuit’s white coat. “You certainly are a pushy one, little miss Cassie.” Biscuit chuckled softly, “You remind me of my Sunny. He cried every time I put him down, so terribly attached to his Mummy….” Cassie blinked those enormous black eyes up at the doctor, then snuffled her nose against Biscuit’s golden fur. “Myeh.” She said, as though in agreement. “Now don’t you go thinking I’m your mummy too.” Biscuit snorted a soft laugh, “I told you already, I’ve got my paws full with my own pups. Did I tell you their names? My little Sunny and Judy….they’re growing up so fast. It’s been so long since I’ve gotten the chance to sit and hold a nice, quiet, well-behaved pup like you.” She sighed, but it was half-hearted. “I’m far more used to breaking up scuffles and scrubbing crayon drawings off the living room wall.” Cassie was a very polite listener. “You know….” Biscuit stroked her fingers gently through the plush white fur of Cassie’s cheek, “It’s funny, I’d never really noticed how closely seals resemble dogs. You could be mistaken for a plump, fuzzy little puppy yourself.” She glanced around quickly- before impulsively nuzzling noses with the baby, then giving a poke to Cassie’s floppy tail fin. “....A mermaid puppy.” The seal pup opened her mouth in a teeny yawn. “Nleh.” Biscuit smiled. “Oh yes, dear little sea star. A family will snatch you up before the week is through. You’ll see.” Carefully, she lowered the dozing infant back into the plastic cradle. “Sit tight, my lovely, I’ll go fetch Stella.” Biscuit made it four steps. Five steps. Seven. Twelve- before her ears pricked at a soft noise behind her. The cries had started up again. The baby fussed inside her cot, little tail slapping fruitlessly against the walls keeping her contained. Biscuit paused. Don’t look back. She took another step. Two. Go find Stella. The squeaks grew louder, more distressed. Biscuit swallowed. Don’t be foolish. She stood stock still for a long moment…..then slowly, foolishly, glanced back. …Don’t be foolish. ~~~~~ Biscuit held the warm, sleeping bundle in one arm, and gripped her phone with the other. After a few tense rings, she was delighted when the confused, groggy voice of her husband answered. “Bud, darling…?” She whispered, so as not to wake the baby, “....I’ve got a proposition.”

SketchyBug

Ohhh so Buscuit is one of *those* moms with one of *those* beliefs. Whew. She’s cute but maaaan it’s tough dealing with mothers like her. Great story you’ve got going so far!

lopoddity

Yup, Biscuit is one of those moms. It's funny, were she to have encountered Skye in any other circumstances- say, simply meeting as strangers at the supermarket- she would've been perfectly pleasant and maternal to Skye, possibly fawning over Skye's sense of style and go-getter attitude and generally being the kindly mother-figure Skye's always secretly wanted. But of course, Skye is no stranger. She's Sunny's girlfriend, so peace was never going to be an option for Biscuit. Even Honey, the "perfect" choice for Sunny...well, there's a reason I made her look a bit like Biscuit. Biscuit sees a lot of herself in Honey, which is why she prefers her to Skye. She views Honey as the perfect docile helpmate to keep on mummying her precious son for the rest of his life, while leaving room for Biscuit's own mummying, of course. Biscuit was appalled when she learned Skye doesn't iron Sunny's shirts or pack his lunches- she even expects him to vacuum his shed fur! Sometimes Sunny cooks for HER! The audacity!! >:O Skye may be pissed here, but deep down she's pretty hurt she can't ever seem to land Biscuit's approval. Biscuit and Sunny were quite close growing up (Sunny was a total mama's boy), but the way Biscuit and Buddy treat Skye is gradually making Sunny want to distance himself from them (has his mother always been this....suffocating?), which, naturally, is another thing Biscuit blames Skye for.

SketchyBug

Yeah, you could say Skye is indirectly the reason Sunny grew more distant, but not for the reasons Buscuit thinks (or wants to believe). It’s not that Skye is actively turning him against his mother, but rather that being around someone that loves him in a healthier way has given him a clearer perspective of the way his mother loved him. Honestly she reminds me of the mom from the Think Like a Man movies, if you’ve ever seen those.

Nyka

Is Honey aro and/or ace? :D

RagingRiptide

Considering Honey is biscuits idea of Sunny’s optimal s/o, it really makes me wonder how she and Bud felt about Virgil 😬

Jinxy

Omg she's awfulI love her

Nette Marie

But isn't Sunny a mix breed himself? Furthermore wouldn't her precious fictional grandpups with Honey be mixed breeds as well? To me that's hypocritical but it also fits into her character. His mom seems like that Karen who rages in public about some injustice to her when in reality she's in the wrong. Then acts like someone just hacked her head clean off when someone (like Skye) quickly humbles her and smacks her hard with reality.

lopoddity

Sunny is a mixed breed, as is Biscuit herself (she's half Saluki, half Golden Retriever). Yes, she is being hypocritical. Really, she wants grandpups that look like Sunny (and also her), and Skye looks too different for that to happen.

Scyllarus

Oooo, after reading the bit you wrote about her adopting Cass - Biscuit might be a better match for an Ob/Gyn? Pediatricians aren't present at births - though they do handle newborn care, it's just typically out of a clinic, not a hospital (unless baby needs to be cared for for other reasons, ie, a preemie in the NICU). It's...also more of the stereotype for Ob/Gyn to be kinda...catty? My experience rotating through wasn't terrible, but everyone was very focused on who was getting married to whom, haha. I do think there's something of a power trip when helping people birth, tho - and honestly it might be an interesting career to explore interesting topics with?