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Topher finds traditional dating to be a skin-crawling idea. He can’t wrap his head around how anyone can do it without getting bored, or feeling trapped. It’s a bit like only being able to listen to just one song, and some people choose to marry their partner! Locking themselves together forever! Get married and buy an overpriced house in the boring ass suburbs and turn out tiny future wage slaves? Oh, no. Topher would rather die.

I haven’t shown it much before, but Topher can be a bit of a contrarian, pretentious butthole sometimes. And he does say “normie” unironically, lol

Topher is promiscuous and pansexual and does indeed have trust issues. People getting close to him make him feel suffocated, so he keeps folk at a distance and avoids relationships that last longer than say, a week. ”Settling down”, at least the way Topher sees it, feels like a fate worse than death. Toph would much rather maintain his life as a radio personality and (underappreciated, in his opinion) musician, meeting new people and and having many various rolls in the hay/music festival tent/bedroom/couch/random bathroom stall. Dating is a scam, and so is love.

….All that said, Topher does have a handful of friends and partners that he does like enough to have repeat performances with. One such person is Mal here, short for Malika. A quiet, ultra-chill trans leopard with both melanism and gigantism, Mal finds Topher pretty entertaining, in more ways than one. Mal is one of the few people that can call Toph on his bullshit without him getting all yappy and surly about it. Mal and Toph are not dating, and they’re certainly not exclusive, but they are close friends (with benefits, obviously) that can count on each other for just about anything (read: Toph crashes on Mal’s couch to sulk and brood and complain a lot).

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Comments

Queenie

I love Mal so much???

Biscuit

Not that it matters much but I’m curious: I see that Mal may be packing something (respectfully) so are they ftm with bottom surgery or mtf with top surgery? Also pronouns?

lopoddity

Oops, I meant to include Mal's pronouns in the description. She/her! Mal is a trans woman, her transition was done through hormone therapy and exercise, in her case there was no surgery involved.

RagingRiptide

I really want to come in and say that I truly love the variation in body types you give your trans characters. As a trans woman, seeing this kind of thing makes me so happy, as there are aspects of myself I do still love but don’t want to change. The trans experience is so varied and beautiful, and there is no one size fits all. I see so much of myself in Mal, and it makes me genuinely so happy. I cannot wait to see more of Topher and get to learn more about him. ❤️ Beautiful work as always!!

lopoddity

Ahhhh I'm so glad to hear it!!! ❤️❤️❤️ Thank you so much! <3

Biscuit

Is there a reason why Topher’s view of monogamy (or closed polygamous relationships) is so black in white?

MyLittleRosie

He sounds like my ex Topher! I wanted kids and my lovely ex panicked at that 😅

lopoddity

Probably has to do with him having grown up within a “normie white picket fence life in the suburbs” and been miserable the entire time. Being a picture perfect church family didn’t stop Topher’s dad from dumping his wife to go impregnate his office assistant, a girl barely out of high school. Topher watched his family implode in real time, then watched his father abandon them to go play happy new family with his new wife and newborn baby Honey. So Topher is a very angry, cynical adult. He has trouble believing in love, and thus he only trusts a very small circle of people- his mother, Toffee, Toffee’s husband, and Mal. He loves these people and would do anything for them. But alas, Topher struggles to let anyone get too close to him, because he fears being hurt. Paradoxically, he fears dying alone, which might be partly fueling his cycle of partying, drugs, and random sex as he jumps from dopamine high to dopamine high. Topher is a mess, which makes him and Honey more alike than he knows

lopoddity

Aw that’s a shame. :/ Opposite problem for me, most of my age peers either already have kids or want them soon, which sucks because I want them….never, lol

Imogen

I love that you picked one of my fav old songs as the title >:3

Marta Tarasiuk

This is so alien to me. Maybe because I’m not the biggest fan of sex. Having not one but multiple relationships where you need to perform… sounds like a nightmare to me. However, I do agree on family being a scam. Family is just bunch of jerks who know you just well enough to know where to stab you and are ready to push you under a bus just to please their friends. You in turn must protect them at all cost, even if you’re suspecting they’re beating their daughter, know for a fact that they are abusing their female workers, they multiple times threaten to torture/kill your pets and casually admitted to attempted murder. Family sucks.

Dean

Topher is so....me....😭 I understand him a little too deeply. Especially as somebody who's romance-repulsed and made a lot of interesting and totally-definitely responsible decisions. I'm glad I grew out of the bitterness that comes with that mindset. I hope Topher eventually learns that hard left politics *and* seeing the beauty in other people, their flaws included, is a much lighter and happier way to live. Poor pupper.

Lammergayier

So is Toph aromantic? Or just Very much not into romance? In some AU where his life growing up wasn't as messed up, would he theoretically be able to form healthy romantic relationships? Or would he still prefer to stay unattached and doing his own thing?

lopoddity

I'm not sure, tbh. It's weird, most of my characters are very clear on their labels in my head, but Topher feels elusive somehow. I know he's pansexual, knew that the second I doodled his surly ass into existence. But aromantic? Hmm. I can't see him being lovey-dovey or pining over anybody, but is that because he's actually aromantic or just reeeally jaded and afraid of intimacy? It's unclear. He feels SOMETHING for Mal here, fondness, familiarity, trust. Some form of love, platonic love? Romantic love? Ehhhh. Since I can't pin it down, we'll say he's somewhere on the aromantic spectrum. Perhaps able to feel romantic love in theory, but thus far it hasn't happened, and he doesn't feel he needs it to be complete.

MyLittleRosie

Well now my current partner and I have similar wants. I can relate to everyone settling down. Most of my friends are having kids or married! Either way, I adore your depiction of Topher. There are so many flavours of poly/aro and I like that your characters are complex!

Murkydepths

Topher-trust-issues one day realising that unlabelled unconventional relationships can often have more emotional intimacy than some marriages... x)

Robo87

Why hellooooo tall dark and gorgeous 😳😍😍

lopoddity

I like to imagine Honey meets Mal and is immediately struck DUMB with a crush, then is left to stew in bitter jealousy that Mal is involved with Topher, of all people Honey, walking in to find Topher and Mal sprawled out together on the couch zonked out of their minds, Topher has his face buried in Mal's boobs and his tail is thumping contently: Urgh, TOPHER! Do you ever think you're setting a bad example as an older sibling? *nastily* I swear, at times like this I'm inclined to believe Father was right about you. Topher: *peaceful snore* Honey: *bursts into angry tears*

Queenie

He could be demiromantic? Only experiencing romantic attraction to those he's very close to friendship-wise/emotionally, and since he doesn't have many (if any) close friends, he's never experienced romantic attraction before! It's also 100% okay to not know. Idrk what my romantic attraction is and I honestly do not care LOL

AsTheJayFlies

@cj strahd This was my experience!! When i first discovered asexuality i instantly connected with it, and while i had heard of aromaticism at the same time (tumblr) i related to it but was more hesitant to embrace it - i thought what if i might be demi but have never had a deep enough emotional connection to anyone to form romantic attraction. it took me realizing that i could always relabel to embrace calling myself aroace, and then a few years later i fell for my best friend on discord. figures that my first boyfriend would live an ocean away from me