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SUNNY DAY by Cindi Curtis

I’m locking in early this morning, banging out notes for the “Tuesday Touch-Base” Teams call. The director of the group tagged a project leader to go over the weekly sprint list, and she thought that name was cute. It’s an effective meeting, name notwithstanding.

I’m left to ponder that. Naming something doesn’t change its nature. I think, though, that naming something brings it into the light of awareness.

In my anxiety paradigm, saying that my panic attacks are triggered routinely when I’m in routine behaviors doing routine activities makes sense. Calling it familiar stimulus triggers put it in a box and I can look at it and better see what’s going on.

Mom wants to redecorate my house before I get home. She has an army of redecorators on standby. But I have hesitation.

What if the stress of a whole new environment creates a different, new anxiety? So far, that’s been the case here in Memphis. There is a difference, though.

Here, the panics are over different things, and I think being surprised that I’m having an attack actually mitigates the attack. “Wait! I’ve never been triggered by the sound of a trolley going by? This is dumb!”

That sort of thing…

I’m not sure just changing the wall color and furniture will have the kind of payoff mom expects. And it’s a big expense.

I was doing pretty good the last few months. I think I was getting better week-by-week. Maybe all that’s needed is to give it more time.

Or maybe, redecorate anyway AND give it more time, too.

Lamentations 3:25 (ESV): “The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him…”

I’d like to think I’m seeking! Is it possible that I need to wait and let God complete the work that’s been started?

Philippians 1:6 (NIV): “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion…”

Still… redecorating doesn’t go against any of that, right? New me, new decor?

The Storylines are the heart of Ailana Geven Imagines, and they are found in the Collections section of the site.

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All characters in this story are fictional characters, their images generated with AI for AGI Stories. They do not represent any real person, nor is their appearance based on any real human.

UNRAVELING by Hayes Marke.

Our trip to Dallas hasn’t gone at all as I expected. The work had been mostly—hold that thought—unremarkable, but there have been… asides.

Roman picked me up before sunrise on Monday, all smiles and cheerful. It felt way too good, in my mind, to be a business trip. And therein is the problem. In my mind, I keep drifting into the realm of romantic feelings.

I was talking to my mother a while back, and she stopped me in the middle of a story. “Hayes, listen to me. You’re talking about your boss like he’s your friend. You know what people will think you’re doing if you don’t watch out.”

“What’s that?”

“I didn’t raise you to be a woman who dates her way up the company ladder.”

I guess I can say she’s right.

Still, Monday morning—even the stop at McDonald’s for breakfast sandwiches and coffee—felt like anything but business. As we were getting into the airport, he put his hand in the small of my back. I literally felt my breath catch.

It was like that all day.

Now, we’re in a morning debrief about the changes Roman made how the routers and firewalls were configured. I have no idea what everyone is saying.

My mind is still back in the server room, because that’s where the biggest hold-that-thought moment came up.

There’s a guy named Clifford who sits at a desk there, and I don’t think he actually has any duties. Roman had just closed his laptop and we had just turned to leave when Clifford stood up

“That’s it,” Roman said.

“Great…” Clifford sort of gestured at me. “Well, thanks… and… it must be nice to be able to hire your girlfriend to travel with you…”

I’m sure my jaw dropped to the floor.

Roman’s reply, though… I’m reeling.

He looked at me, smiled, then looked at Clifford. “Girlfriend? You’re missing a lot. She’s so much more than that. She’s a talented business woman with great things ahead for her. I promise you, she’s a lot more than that.”

“Hey…” Clifford sat back down holding up his hands. “I didn’t mean any offense.”

I whispered, voice quivering. “None taken.”

In my head three words are screaming, still: “more than that.”

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Comments

Common Hamster

SUNNY DAY by Cindi Curtis. Maybe you're right. Maybe naming something brings awareness. And maybe your mom's right. New paint, new colors, new furniture. Can't hurt, can it? Thank you for both verses! They really seem to fit your thoughts today. New me, new decor? I like it. Thanks for the update. Have a great day.

Common Hamster

UNRAVELING by Hayes Markel. I love this! "In my head three words are screaming, still: “more than that.” ". Sounds like Dallas was a success...on all fronts. Looking very forward to see where this goes. Thank you for posting. Have a great rest of your trip. Good luck to you, Hayes!