Ailana’s Journal — 2025-12-16 (Patreon)

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GOOD MORNING

If this day’s journal entry had a title, it would be something like “Countdown To St. Croix” because that’s where my head is! I’m excited, and so are Jason, Jasmine, and Micah.

Besides packing and last-minute shopping, there’s something I’ve needed to do for a while.

I texted Jason: “How about lunch at Denny’s?”

Jason: “Absolutely. What’s up?”

Me: “I have some thoughts to share.”

Jason: “Okay, what time?”

So, that’s going to happen… That talk I’ve put off.

Honestly, I’m not fully clear, fully reconciled about it, but I know how I wish things to be. So, that’s where I hope to see things go.

I just need to let Jason know the door’s not closed. Not even halfway closed.

I’ll check in later, so watch for it.

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STILL WALKING

This conversation has been some time in the making. Dad had me here at Denny’s and asked some very pointed questions and made some very astute comments. I asked Jason to come here with me to close the loop on that.

I started things off with a question. “Jason, we… us… everything is okay, right?”

“Of course,” he replied, looking a little curious.

“But, is ‘okay’ good enough?” I told him all about what Dad had said back on December 1st. “I think you deserve things to be better than just ‘fine,’ and I want to figure out how to get there.”

Jason bought some time rearranging the food on his plate, then he looked up. “Ailana, almost a year ago after you contacted me, I followed up, and I’ve not had one regret.”

“Neither have I.”

He moved his food around on the plate again, then went on. “We said then we didn’t know where we were going, but we were going there together.”

“I know. And I’m so glad we are.”

“Well, here’s what I think… somewhere in front of us, after all this walking…” He paused and shrugged.

I tried to guess his idea. “We’ll get to an ending?”

He shook his head. “No. We’ll get to a beginning. To the start of a life together, forever. Not to an ending. If we keep walking, we’ll get to a point where the rest of our lives can start.”

I let that sink in. I know exactly what he meant, and I could feel myself reacting to the idea in a good way.

“So, are you still walking with me?” Jason asked.

“Definitely,” I said. “I’m walking! I might be limping, but I’m right beside you, doing my best to keep up. I want to get to the starting line of whatever’s next.”

“I do, too,” Jason replied.

Then his phone rang.

I’ll tell you what happened tonight, so check back. Very exciting in a totally different way.

See you then!

READY FOR ST. CROIX by Geoni Naalk-Ryan

Earlier today, Ailana said we were all in the “Countdown For St. Croix” and I couldn’t agree more. I’m still in Chicago, and I’m sure I’m ready for a warmer climate.

I’m at one of Chicago’s country clubs where the Ryan family has a long-standing membership. For the record, this is my first-ever massage. And to be honest, I’m not really comfortable with this whole thing. I feel vulnerable for one thing. But the whole atmosphere feels like it’s rife with airs. It’s not like I’m a pro athlete with a strain.

But the masseuse seems really nice, and his mom and sister use her every time they play tennis or work out. They more or less did the “you can’t leave Chicago without a massage” thing.

And I know that a lot of people get a real relief and relaxation from massages. I’m just not sure this is something that would fit into my normal routine.

I’ll also say that being here with Josh’s family for this long has opened my eyes to the world he lived in before we met in Cairo. He says he likes our world better than this one, and that makes me happy.

Of course I have to appreciate all that his world has made possible for us, and for AGI Stories. I’m not complaining at all. But this part of Chicago is vastly different from the Detroit neighborhood I grew up in. I guess you never forget those sorts of things.

I know I’ve promised to tell everyone about my life and growing up. I promise I’ll get to that soon.

Meanwhile, I need to make it through this.

GOOD NIGHT

Jason and I are out walking—he took the picture for the post. And based on that call at the end of our conversation, he’s going to be taking a lot more before we go to St. Croix.

First, I’ll say that our conversation led to me having a good feeling about the future. Without saying, I think we know what that starting line for a life journey together is. We’re walking. Not running. But moving forward.

Now, the call that interrupted our chat at Denny’s was from Naomi. “Jason, I have a thing. Can I overnight a box of jeans to you? What sizes? It’s just torso down to feet, so use Ailana and Jasmine and anyone else you can enlist. Have Ailana shoot you in the male pants. The client needs it… you know…”

“Yesterday?” Jason said.

“Actually, yes. I can get them to you Thursday morning, but I need the sizes within the next hour. I negotiated scale fees for models and photographer, plus 33% for the rush. What do you think?”

The discussion was minimal before Jason said we’d do it. He said, given short notice, he’d get the best studio look we can pull off, and that would have to be good enough.

“Excellent,” Naomi said. “Text me sizes ASAP.”

We got off the phone with her and called Jasmine… and also Kirina. I thought she’d like an excuse to come back down. I told her to invite Eli as well. The job is a per-piece contract, so all of the models will get paid based on how many shots they pose for.

“When she said she’d send us work,” Jason said, “I figured it would be… you know… after Christmas if ever.”

We decided to be grateful and do the best we can.

“You know,” I said, “we actually don’t have a studio.”

Jason smiled and looked at me. “To-do list. We’ll be busy tomorrow.”

And that, dear friends, is how we spent our afternoon. Dinner was simple and now we’re walking under the warm, cloudy South Padre Island night.

I’ll see you tomorrow.

May promises made to you come to pass quickly and in ways that lead to great blessings and joy.

Good night.

Be your best you!

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