River City Connections — 2025-12-18 (Patreon)

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NO REDECORATING by Cindi Curtis

I mentioned that today, Jordan and I decided I’d come over and work from her place. She was also working from here today. One of us didn’t have any Teams meetings—I’ll let you decide which one!

I’ll keep this post short. I’m pretty much worked up—excited, head spinning!

On Sunday, Michael made a post and told the story from the end to the beginning. I don’t have a degree in communications, but I’m going to try that approach.

A few minutes ago, I was on the phone with my mom, and I said, “Okay, I’ve decided something important. Don’t redecorate.”

“What? Cindi, I thought you agreed about the stimuli—that routinely seeing things caused you to have panic attacks out of habit.”

“I know, Mom. I think you might be on to something.”

“Then,” she asked, “why don’t you want me to redecorate?”

“I’m moving to Memphis.”

That was the end of the story. Now, the beginning…

A half hour before, Jordan and I took a break and were sitting here just talking. I told her about the plan to redecorate.

“So you think changing all the things you experience will stop the panic attacks?” she asked.

“I think it can’t hurt. Just thinking about certain things… like going to the mailbox… reminds me of all the times I’ve had a panic attack. It’s possible that I’ve paired stimuli, and now the mailbox is connected irrationally to something I can’t even identify.”

“And if you change a lot of the things you experience, the connection will be broken. Your anxiety will have to find new ways to show up.”

“Right,” I said, “but since I’ve been here, the attacks seem out of place. Like, I know it doesn’t make sense to panic about people talking in the hall and that helps. I’ve not gotten in the habit of panicking at noises in the hall, so somehow I don’t just accept it and let it take over.”

“So, why don’t you just move to Memphis! If this is working, why go back to the old habits?”

I blinked a few times before I un-dropped my jaw, then I called mom.

Be your best you!

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