Ailana’s Journal — 2026-01-21 (Patreon)

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GOOD MORNING

Welcome to Wednesday! Let’s agree that we are doing pretty good, alright? We made it to the beginning of the middle day. We can get to the weekend!

The big drama today is whether or not the weather is going to allow us to get our photo session done. It’s not looking good.

We’re supposed to get the package—just one outfit—sometime today. Jasmine is tracking the package and says we should be fine. If the weather doesn’t improve—and it’s not supposed to—it won’t really matter.

So, as you know, I like to make little lessons out of my routine. Here goes…

The Serenity Prayer

God, grant me the serenityto accept the things I cannot changethe courage to change the things I canand the wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time,enjoying one moment at a time.Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace.Taking, as He did, the sinful world as it is, not as I would have it.Trusting that He will make all things rightif I surrender to His will;that I may be reasonably happy in this life,and supremely happy with Him forever.

—Reinhold Niebuhr, 1892-1971

I just can’t help but ruin that with a reprisal…

Accept what you can’t change. Work hard to change what you can. And know the difference. Take things—and accept things—as they come. You’re not doing it alone.

Rain? No rain? You’ve got to just keep going.

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FORWARD THINKING by Min Aurora

It is nearly bedtime here in Hyderabad. I suppose a lot of people are already asleep. Me? I’m thinking about a lot right now.

Amir and Anika have been very busy putting together a wedding. Anika and my parents are coming. Amir’s parents will be here soon from Memphis, where his father works in IT. He was born here and has family in the area.

They have also been busy putting together a plan for a future—one that includes me—back home in the States. Or I should say in Texas, to be specific.

It’s a complicated plan that is only about half worked out. They found a group of grants that can coexist in a clinic setting—one that connects basic health care with immunology and infectious disease work.

I just got off the phone with Vanessa Lenen.

I explained what I do know. “So, part of the idea is you and I doing mobile health care for people new to the country. We’ll work with agencies to do screenings and offer services as needed.”

Vanessa was excited, with a caveat. She’s found a man she is exploring a relationship with, and it’s going well. But she’s all but committed to being on the team.

I hung up the call, but her words echoed in my ears. I can’t help but hear them in the context of my sister’s happiness as she approaches her wedding day.

I have dated a few men—none of whom my parents approved of, and none of whom remotely fit Indian traditions. I dated a few that my parents liked, but who were far too traditional for me.

I have no criticism of tradition. If others embrace it, I’m sure it adds meaning to their lives.

It’s just not for me. Give me a hot dog and a walk on the boardwalk any day.

So all that leaves me wondering… where does a woman like me end up—a Jersey girl who looks like she’s from Bangalore, living in Texas?

Just thinking. For now…

PLAN B

Once when I was around fourteen, Dad told me not to plan anything for Saturday. He said we would drive to Indiana Dunes for the day.

I knew that would be a special time for him, but at that age I was doing that thing where I pulled away, favoring time with Grace and sometimes Jason (even then). When we woke up to cloudy skies, I made a play to cancel.

“What if it rains?”

Dad handed me the bag with our picnic food in it. “Plan B.”

“What’s plan B?” I fell for it.

“Plan A, but with water…”

As always, it turned out to be a great memory. I remember we stopped for ice cream on the way home, which was a treat that followed paydays very, very rarely.

Well, for today’s street-outfit-at-night photo session, “Plan A, but with water” just isn’t an option. We’re bumping it to Thursday instead.

We did get the package. I think bumping it to Thursday might just be long enough for me to stifle my objections and remember that as a model, I get paid to wear what others want me to wear. I don’t have to take the job…

There’s nothing overtly wrong with the outfit. You’ll see… It’s just not my style.

So, my Plan B for today is that Jason and I are going to invade Clay and Sasha’s home for dinner and to hang out. Between now and then, I’ll be getting back to my MacBook and arranging letters into ideas.

I’ll check back tonight, so I’ll see you then!

GOOD NIGHT

As I stand here in my kitchen, Jason having left long enough ago for me to change into a bathrobe for this post, I’d like to tell you something.

I would like to tell you that tonight—some random Wednesday—as Jason walked me up from Sasha and Clay’s condo, I took his hand, squeezed it and said…

“I’m ready for you to propose officially. I think I’ve been ready ever since the Sunday in St. Croix, but I’ve just not had the nerve to tell you.”

That didn’t happen.

But I would’ve been happy if it had. And I don’t know exactly how or when it will happen, but it’s coming.

And for anyone translating this to another language, the phrase “I would like to tell you” can be used two ways:• I wish that I could tell you…

• I am happy that I am telling you…I exploited that for the sake of this post. I’m not sure how well it translated…

We did have a great visit, and I did take his hand as he walked me back up. And as he left for the night, I actually did say this.

“Jason…”

“Yes?”

“We are running out of random Tuesdays and Wednesdays, you know…”

He smiled and nodded. “Mondays can be random, too, you know.”

Then, like it was some melodramatic movie, he turned and walked away, hands in his pockets, stopping after a few steps to turn back and smile.

<fade to black>

So, with those images in my thoughts, I smile and prepare to end the day.

May you have beautiful moments with those you love that leave a smile on your face and joy in your heart.

Good night.

<fade to black>

Be your best you!

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