Ailana’s Journal—2026-05-20 (Patreon)
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GOOD MORNING
This time it wasn’t even my idea! Me on the beach for a morning walk? One of you suggested this was a great way to start the day, so here I am!
Three days until the 23rd, just in case anyone is counting. I know I’m mostly trying to ignore the countdown. I’m ready to be done and past the wedding and get on to the being-married part.
So, today, I’m going to treat it mostly like any other day. Beach, office, work, food, friends… Just another day in my life, another slice of what it means to be me. I don’t have anything profound to add.
I’ll close with a thank you to everyone. The support these recent days has been amazing, and I’m grateful for every comment, reply, and message. Your thoughts add a lot to the stories.
That’s it from the beach. See you later!
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MORNING SICKNESS IS REAL by Sasha Everett
Too late now, but that adoption idea is looking a whole lot better.
Clay is my anchor, my rock, and also… I kind of want to say this is his fault.
The thing is, he’d let me get away with that. He’d just hold me tight, wipe my face with a damp cloth, and ask what I needed.
PRETENDING TO PLAN
Jasmine, Sasha, and I are sitting here in the office pretending to plan things. Mostly, we’re talking about how awesome it is that Josh and Geoni have moved into the final stages of adoption.
Other than that, we’re talking about morning sickness. Sasha wants to go on record to say she’s not a fan.
The idea of Jasmine having a baby has come up again.
“Hard pass for now!” She went on to say that she and Micah want to wait a little while.
There actually have been a few moments of real planning, but they didn’t last long, and nothing really emerged that seems profound. We did talk about the Route 66 plan, which seems to be the biggest event to follow the adoption and wedding.
I honestly believe that after the wedding, Jason and I will take the cabin cruiser up the coast, return, and things will settle down nicely. We’ll have some trips, some modeling events, write a lot of articles, and then sometime after Christmas, Sasha will give birth.
And to be honest, that feels like a good future.
Best of all, I plan on being here to share it all with you! See you soon.
BUS BUDDY by Mateo Alvarez
After school, I hit a yard quick, and decided to grab some fries and a soda before going home and getting ready for Youth Group. I picked the Whataburger where Brooks works—she’s the girl who invited me to Youth Group in the first place.
When I went in, she looked at me and gave me a little nod-wave. “Hey, Mateo… Welcome to Whataburger…”
“Hey Brooks… You working tonight?”
“I got called in.” She took my order. “Tell everyone I said hi, okay?”
“Will do…”
Another customer came in, so I backed up to wait for my order. She finished with them and I went back to the counter.
“Hey, I met the new girl that just moved in… The one you invited to Youth Group…”
Brooks smiled, then said, “Now, why is my bus buddy telling me about meeting another girl? Are you trying to make me jealous?”
I had no thoughts at all. Not one. I sort of stared—I hope my mouth wasn’t hanging open in shock.
After, like, five seconds, Brooks checked herself and looked at me. “Wow, that came out weird.”
I tried to play it off. “Nah… no problem.”
“It was funny in my head,” she said.
“Well, it was worth a try… Laughing’s good, right?”
“Right,” Brooks said. “So you met the girl that moved in on Saturday?”
“Yeah,” I said. “Her dad’s going to let me cut their yard.”
“What was her name? Jenny?”
“I think it was Jenna. Pretty sure… She said you invited her to Youth Group.”
Brooks nodded, then seemed to think of something. “Oh… I’ll Snap her and let her know I’m not going tonight.. Just in case… And it will be like an excuse to Snap her.”
“That’s a good idea,” I said.
“I hope she starts coming, though,” Brooks added. “It will be nice to have another girl around. Maybe hang out or something.”
“Yeah… You said you didn’t know Eli Garza, but his family moved to Houston. Some new kids our age around here would be great.”
My order was ready, so she handed me the tray. “Ketchup? Spicy or regular?”
“One of each?”
“Sure… Tell everyone I said ‘hi.’”
“Will do. Two more days and we’re done.”
I turned away and took a step, and then Brooks called me back. “Hey?”
“What’s up?”
“See you on the bus tomorrow…”
“Bet…”
GOOD NIGHT
Let’s see… Thursday, Friday, Saturday… Then? Dare I say a new phase of my life begins?
It feels like the wedding is a doorway from “this” to something else. I think that after the wedding, things will calm down to normal chaos.
Question: Can the adjective “normal” be used to modify “chaos”?
My theory is yes. If things typically are unexpected, then that becomes normal, right? So, here’s to normal chaos.
If we think about it, I guess many people experience their own versions of chaos. I’d argue that rarely are the lines of life straight.
Social life is a simple example.
People cross paths for the first time, then circle around before becoming friends. Some people act as an axis around which others turn, coming and going.
The social tides and currents are ever-changing, and I would say there is at least an unpredictable nature to them, if not outright chaos. While time quells the storm, there are periods when the tempest of life is tough to weather.
I think there are other examples, and if you think of any, feel free to share.
So, I look beyond Saturday and the honeymoon—we sail out the afternoon of May 23 and should return to South Padre Island on the 27th after four nights at sea—to a time of what I want to call predictable variety.
Chaos by a longer name?
And as I’ve said several times recently, I look forward to sharing it with you.
May you walk a path forward, drawing always nearer your goals and dreams.
Good night.
Be your best you!
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