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CHANGES FOR AILANA by Izzy Duffy

Chapter 120: CHANGES FOR AILANA by Izzy Duffy—I have meetings with families tonight, so I’m going in later than normal.

I need to change clothes soon, but before that, I have something to share. Something happened over the weekend that I want to bring up.

My friend Ailana, whose wedding I just went to, has suddenly found herself in the role of emergency guardian. She called me for advice.

She called as a friend. She said I could mention the conversation. In fact, she urged me to do so.

“You can get the details correct more easily.”

My advice to her was to relax and let her heart teach her what to do. I think that was enough.

Then she said, “Izzy, how could my mother be such a monster? How could any mother do something like that to her daughter?”

“It’s difficult to imagine,” I said.

“Have you ever heard of anything like this before?”

I paused before I answered. “Too many times. Not exactly like this, but just as terrible.”

The rest of this chapter is exclusive to Patreon.

What I’m about to say is one of those truths people do not want to hear.

When most people think about trafficking, they picture strangers. They picture kidnapping. They picture someone being grabbed from a parking lot or tricked by someone they met online.

Those things can happen, but they are not the whole picture. Sometimes the person who causes the harm is already inside the house. Sometimes the person making the arrangement, taking the money, looking away, or explaining it away is someone the child has been trained since birth to trust.

A parent. A stepparent. A boyfriend of a parent. A relative. A caregiver.

That is one reason these cases can be so hard to identify. The child may not use the words abuse, trafficking, exploitation, or crime. She may use words like normal, helping, paying rent, keeping peace, or what I had to do.

Sometimes she may not understand the full meaning of what happened until much later.

In professional spaces, we sometimes call this familial trafficking or family-facilitated trafficking. The terms are clinical because they have to be. The reality behind them is not clinical at all.

It is betrayal.

It is the collapse of the first safety system a child is supposed to have.

And it is more common than most people want to believe.

Different studies count different populations in different ways, so I try to be careful with numbers. Still, the estimates I have seen are horrifying.

Depending on the study, family members or caregivers are involved in roughly 31% to 41% of child trafficking cases. Not a rare, one-in-a-million exception. Roughly one-third to two-fifths.

I told Ailana that because I did not want her to think Emily’s story was too horrible to be real.

It is horrible.

It is also real.

One of the most damaging myths about trafficking is that it always looks like captivity from the outside. Many victims still go to school. Some make good grades. Some seem quiet but functional. Some have jobs. Some are sent out into the world every day and then pulled back into the situation at night.

That does not mean they are free.

Children survive by adapting. If a child cannot escape, she may learn how to stay calm. If no one believes her, she may stop telling. If the adult in charge controls food, shelter, transportation, money, documents, or younger siblings, she may learn to cooperate just enough to get through the next day.

That is not consent.

That is survival.

Ailana was quiet for a long time after I said all that.

Finally she said, “So I shouldn’t be shocked?”

“I didn’t say that,” I told her. “You should be shocked. You should be angry. You should grieve. You should probably feel a dozen things you don’t know how to name yet.”

“Then what are you saying?”

“I’m saying don’t let the shock make you doubt Emily.”

That was the part I most wanted her to hear.

When a child discloses something this serious, adults often want the story to be simpler than it is. They want a clean timeline. They want perfect memory. They want the child to sound certain, grateful, composed, and easy to help.

Trauma rarely presents that neatly.

A girl coming out of a situation like Emily’s may want help and still resist being helped. She may tell the truth in pieces because pieces are all she can manage. She may protect someone who harmed her. She may blame herself for things no child should ever have had to carry.

None of that makes her unreliable.

It makes her hurt.

Emily’s situation was a little different. She was a victim first of neglect and emotional abuse. She had a plan to run away from a terrible situation she had lived in for months.

I’m not endorsing the plan. Emily thought it was solid in the normal way teenagers sometimes think things through. Honestly, she did her homework well. But it could have gone wrong in a lot of ways.

And it almost did. Had Emily been a step slower, Melinda might have managed to stop her from leaving. That would have resulted in a tragedy we could call sex trafficking. There are also less polite words that would apply.

So my advice to Ailana was simple.

Do not interrogate. Do not panic. Do not promise what you cannot control. Be steady.

Feed her. Let her sleep. Give her choices when choices are safe. Tell her what is happening before it happens. Keep the lawyers and investigators doing their jobs. Let professionals handle the legal and clinical pieces.

And then, in the middle of all that, be family.

Because Emily did not only run away from something.

She ran toward someone.

That matters.

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Comments

Gustavo Murillo

Hi Izzy, You gave Ailana the best advice ever. You adviced her with numbers and facts that support your idea, and yeah, Ailana needs to be patient and give Emily the best environment. Thanks for being with Ailana.

Common Hamster

CHANGES FOR AILANA by Izzy Duffy. Thanks, Izzy. For being her friend. For giving her straightforward advice. She's going to need you more in the future as she adjusts to this new circumstance. Thanks for your post.