Send in the Clowns (Superheroine TFMC) (Patreon)

Hey folks!

Guess it's time to start gearing up for the Christmas season, huh? Best of luck against the cold and snow out there. I'm sure I'll have some festive stuff to share here soon! But in the meantime, do enjoy a more comedic tale of transformations and tomfoolery!

-----

“Ah.”

Blue Blazer was a stalwart champion of justice, and an experienced heroine who had weathered many bizarre and terrifying storms of weirdness in her career as the city’s protector. She’d fought battles against invaders from the Candycane Kingdoms (exactly what it sounded like), and toughed out through literal rains of cryptocurrency (that stuff was heavier than it looked, and someone had managed to rugpull it all into a completely new dimension). So you knew that anything that was enough to make her draw up short with surprise was going to be a new degree of twisted. Mimic Gimmick, the big blue’s trusty shapeshifting sidekick, turned to her mentor to ask what was bothering her…

“Oh.”

… Only to draw up short herself as she saw the obvious.

Namely, that Blue Blazer, the eponymous blue alien amazon, always seen with her trademark red leotard (which she insisted was actually incredibly advanced armour from her planet, but surely it hugged her curves far too tightly for that) was now dressed in a baggy onesie, one side of it coloured yellow, and the other green. It had bright pink fluffy buttons running down the front, yellow fluff lining every cuff – and somehow, somehow… It was still tight enough around the chest to show off some strong enhancements in the area. She still had her antennae, and her second pair of arms, but they were hidden by a fuzzy blonde wig and big ruffled sleeves, respectively. The white face paint and wide red grin drawn over her lips sealed the deal, with her round red nose being the obvious cherry on top.

The mighty Blue Blazer had, almost without noticing, been turned into a clown.

And Mimic had but five seconds to try not to snicker at the sight, before it occurred to her that she should look down as well. When she did, the horrifying reality that her orange jumpsuit had, indeed, been replaced by a ruffly pink and black clown outfit, complete with an equally boosted bust that she could no longer see her feet around, almost slapped her in the face. Reaching up, she pulled a lock of hair down, and found it to be neon green.

“Oh damnit.”

“Indeed.” BB sighed, wiggling her new nose. “It seems that it’s going to be one of those days, old chum.”

There were a few ways you could tell that something was up in the city. Wailing sirens were a good thing to listen out for. Glowing red skies or green interdimensional portals, also a winner. If you thought you heard the sound of tiny laughter on the breeze, it was best to drop everything and run, just in case.

But massive circus tents appearing out of nowhere and enveloping city hall? That was definitely on the list too.

And when something was up, you could count on Blue Blazer and Mimic Gimmick to be there to take it down. Or, you know, to try, at least.

The fact that this had happened to them the instant they stepped over the tent’s threshold was a rather worrying sign of how things were going on this outing, but oh well. They were here to save the day, and darn it, that was what they were going to do. As soon as they worked out how.

“What do you think?” Mimic huffed as she followed her mentor into the tent proper, struggling a bit to keep the pace with her now extra long shoes. “Is this Twivesta’s work?”

BB shook her head as she followed the carpet lined path inwards, her blonde wig bouncing. “I doubt it. I’m sure she would be entertained by all of this ridiculousness, but if she were here, she would have shown herself already. Twivesta is not a subtle fairy.”

Very, very true. “Fair. Okay, uh… Mister Morlay, then? This looks like his kind of deal.”

“Hmm…” There was a squeak as a rubber duck fell out of Blue Blazer’s sleeve. “Could be. Let me see - Mister Morlay, the magical magician, man of mystery and massive menace, present yourself now!”

The pair paused, looking around, but there was no puff of smoke, and no sign of the sinister magician appeared to them.

“… That usually gets him. No, no luck there. He usually prefers bunny girls instead of clowns anyway.”

“True.” A relief, honestly. It had taken Mimic weeks to get all of those stupid colourful flags out of her sleeves last time they’d fought. “Maybe the Goon Squad is doing a themed week?”

“No, old friend.” BB shook her head as the pair finally arrived inside the main tent. “I suspect this is the work of a foe we’ve never encountered before. A new villain – one whose motives remain a mystery for now.”

Well if that was the case, then this newbie had certainly made a spectacle of their first big outing. The big circus tent was one thing, but stepping inside of it was like stepping into another world. It was much bigger within than without, for one thing, though that was pretty standard for this sort of situation. No, more impressive was the scenery. Whoever had made this place had gone all out on making it the best damn circus in town, throwing out all the stops. Sky high ceiling, floating stands for spectators, constant showers of fireworks and sparkles as performers spun in from every angle…

(It still came in second to O’Cally’s Crazy Carnivale, in Mimic’s opinion.)

The big draw was the circus acts, of course. Dozens of them were being performed all over the place. There were stacks of clowns, all riding on one another’s shoulders, were jousting at one another, or pushing gigantic wheelbarrows around, or just engaging in slapstick hijinks. Strong women were lifting weights and juggling lions. Acrobats were flipping so many times they appeared to be defying gravity. Clowns cars were engaging in high speed chases on a massive ring around the outer wall, one clown with a green and yellow chasing after the others while they tried to throw them off with oil slicks and a barrage of cream pies. And of course, Entrance of the Gladiators was playing on full blast throughout the entire ‘building’.

It was a chaotic cacophony of circus… charm. It didn’t matter where you looked, there was something circus-y going on. But if you looked closely, towards the middle, you might see one figure in particular standing out. A tall gentleman in a red coat and a black top hat, watching the madness with a stern eye.

Mimic put her white gloved hands on her pink and black padded hips. “Looks like we weren’t the only ones to get clowned. Everyone in the building has been turned into some kind of circus freak. And my guess is that they over there is the one behind everything.” She pointed to the Ringmaster. “I mean, he definitely looks the part, right?”

“Let’s not jump to conclusions, my eager assistant – but that’s certainly a fine place to start.” Blue Blazer nodded. “In fact, I believe it best that we introduce ourselves immediately.”

A direct solution to the problem at hand, but a reasonable one, all things considered. After all, these costumes were embarrassing, but they hadn’t disabled the two hero’s powers in any fashion. Mimic could still stretch and shift just fine, and while BB had been stripped of her amour, her flight and laser blasts had been left untouched – not to mention her super strong extra arms. A firm discussion would hopefully sort all of this out quickly – and if not, well, other options were clearly still available.

Or were they?

The pair hurried onwards – but it wasn’t long before they noticed something strange was happening. Despite their footsteps – first calm, and then hurried, and then outright bursting into full speed flight – marching ever onwards towards their target, they never seemed to get any closer. The Ringmaster was always equally distant, no matter how far they travelled towards him. Something was clearly afoot.

Mimic was the one who broke silence on the matter after five fruitless minutes. “Uh, why isn’t this working? We should be over there by now.”

BB nodded, having been considering the issue already. “It’s strange. Likely caused by whatever created this tent in the first place. I suspected this wouldn’t be so easy… But do you notice, old friend, the people who do manage to get close to the Ringmaster?”

“Huh?” Mimic blinked, before looking again, this time paying attention to the crowd around their target. There was something of a pattern over there, wasn’t there? Every now and then a spotlight would shine down from above, highlighting a set of performers, and they would quickly be moved to the centre of the big ring, putting on a show for the Ringmaster personally. Even now, she could see a pair of dancers circling around him, jumping and twirling to his amusement and applause.

“It would seem that putting on an impressive performance is the key to getting an audience with our potential mastermind here,” BB muttered, rubbing her painted chin. “Perhaps we can make use of that…”

“Oh no.” Mimic groaned, covering her face with her hands and trying to ignore the honking sound her nose made. “Boss, please don’t say this is going where I think it’s going…”

To her despair, a strong blue hand clapped her on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, chum, I’m sure that the two of us can easily put on an eye-catching display. Between your shapeshifting abilities and my overwhelming strength, there’s no doubt that we can dazzle any audience!”

The sidekick peered up at her mentor, only to wilt as she saw that the smile on BB’s real lips was almost as wide as the one on her fake lips. “… I hate it when you get into this kind of stuff.”

Blue Blazer stifled a giggle. “Oh come on, it’ll be fun. In our job, any opportunity for levity that presents itself should be thoroughly seized!”

“The word isn’t levity, it’s cringe.”

“Is it?” The alien heroine blinked in surprise, before shrugging. “My, your earth languages have so many interesting nuances. Very well then, old friend – let us be cringe together!”

“N-no, that’s not- Never mind.” Mimic slumped, but she knew the damage was done. Teaching BB a new word was always a dangerous proposition, and she’d thoroughly screwed this one up. She could tell she’d be paying for it for years already – any protesting was only going to dig the hole deeper. Instead, she just sighed. “What can we do?”

But now it was Blue Blazer’s turn to hesitate. “W-well, I’ve never been to one of your earth circuses – at least, not a normal one.” This one definitely didn’t count. “So I was hoping you might have some ideas?”

The brunette shapeshifter tried not to roll her eyes. Of course her mentor had booked them in for something she had no actual understanding of. Honestly, one of these days BB’s passion for earth culture was going to get them in serious trouble. “Uh… Geeze, I think I saw one when I was a kid with momma and poppa Gimmick, but that was a long time ago. I think they threw pies at one another or something…? But I don’t have any of those on me…”

She tried to ignore how disappointed the older woman looked at that last part, and instead focused on looking around for ideas. It wasn’t as though there was a shortage of them around – practically every act under the sun seemed to be happening all around them. How could they possibly hope to stand out?

“Hm.” The blue (currently white) alien’s antennae twitched as she considered. “It occurs to me, my amazing apprentice, that the key to our success may be leaning into the talents that you and I possess that our competition can’t hope to match us with.”

“You mean our powers?” Huh. Why hadn’t she thought of that? “I guess that’d work. There’s got to be some way of putting on a show with shapeshifting, right?”

“And I’m sure any audience would appreciate the chance to see how dexterous these arms of mine truly are.” BB brightened as she talked, an idea clearly dawning. “You know I’ve always wanted to try that juggling thing.”

Mimic nodded thoughtfully. “Okay, that could work – we just need to find you something to… Huh?” She blinked as she turned to her mentor, only to see that she was already playfully experimenting with a set of colourful juggling balls, passing them between her hands and carefully weighing them up. “Wh-Where did you get those?”

“Hm?” Blue Blazer didn’t seem to understand her concern. “Why, they were on the floor here when I needed them. Very convenient.”

Uh. Okay, that sounded kind of worrying. Kind of like how the clown outfits had just appeared on them when they entered the tent, come to think of it. Maybe there was something else at work here that they needed to be-

“Aha!” The sidekicks thoughts were disrupted as her attention was firmly snagged by her mentor, who cheered as she managed to get a simple juggling pattern going, blue and red and yellow and green orbs flying between her four hands. “It’s even easier than it looks!”

Mimic blinked. What had she been thinking about? Probably nothing important. “Oh, wow, you’re actually pretty good at that.”

“Of course, young apprentice!” BB tried to play it off, but she was obviously delighted. “After all, it’s just a simple matter of knowing where each ball is going to be at any given moment. I could do this in my sleep. In fact, perhaps we could make this more interesting if we added more balls…”

And, just like magic, more balls appeared, these ones purple and orange, dropping into the four-armed hero’s juggling act naturally. Even more followed, and soon BB was juggling a few dozen brightly coloured orbs, performing pattens and tricks as if she’d been in the clowning business for years.

“W-wow, Boss, I had no idea you were so… talent… ed…” Mimic mumbled, watching the show. She didn’t mean to sound so distracted, really – it really was an impressive display – but she felt kind of funny. Just kind of dazed, or distracted. All of a sudden it was like she hadn’t gotten any sleep last night. Standing here, watching the whirl of colours spin in front of her, she found herself swaying in place, her arms drooping at her sides, her jaw slowly going slack as her eyes slid to half-lidded…

The world seemed to drop away, her awareness of everything else dimming to the point of non-existence. Her entire world became those swirling, spinning, beautiful colous… And over it all, the relentless swell of circus music, the unending brass serenade of the gladiators, summoning countless images of clownish escapades to circle around her mind.

Heehee All this clown stuff was so funny… Made her feel so… silly So fun…

Distantly, she thought she heard a giggle. “Come on, JiggleJugs, quit playing around, we’ve got clowning to do~”

“Huh?” Mimic shook her head, startling out of her light trance and looking around. “I mean, what? Where? Wait, what did you just call me?”

But Blue Blazer was already focused on the business at hand. “We need to work out what your act should be as well, old friend. I don’t want to be performing on my own out there…”

Huh? What? Oh! R-right! Mimic shook herself again, trying to focus despite the strange fog in he head. “Uh, okay. Maybe… Maybe I could shapeshift into a bunch of funny shapes?”

Her mentor looked doubtful. A blonde eyebrow rose. “Is that a circus act?”

The sidekick shrugged. “I mean, kinda. Maybe if I shapeshifted into animals, but that doesn’t feel right here. Clowns aren’t really lion tamers, usually, are they?” Were they? She actually wasn’t too sure, but she was sure she was supposed to be a clown, so best play it safe. Then her eyes widened as she had an idea. “Oh! Hey, I know – balloon animals! I can do those no problem!”

“Balloon animals?” BB put a gloved finger to her red painted lips. “You mean, like, balloons with animals painted on to them or something?”

“No no,” Jiggle- Uh, Mimic giggled, shaking her head. Of course her alien mentor had no idea what she was talking about. “Not like that. It’s where you twist a bunch of balloons into different shapes! Let me show you…”

Instinctively, she reached down and grabbed a pack of balloons off the floor, not pausing for one moment to consider where they might have come from. With a skilful twirl, she plucked one from the pack – a nice big pink one, and raised to her lips. “I can just-Fphuh!”

Without thinking, she pursed her lips and tried to blow into the balloon, only for nothing to happen. It just sort of puffed up a bit, but refused to expand. Ah.

“Aheh… Gimme a second.” Mimic was glad her makeup hid her embarrassed flush as she stretched the balloon out and gave it a few snaps under her mentor’s confused eye. “Just need to warm it up. Now it should work.”

Well, it should as long as she gave it everything she had. The shapeshifter took in a deep breath – so deep that her chest expanded to contain all the air – and then, putting her lips to the mouth of the balloon, she blew with all of her might- Urk!

Fwump!

Oh, that had not gone to plan. Instead of inflating the balloon, Mimic instead found herself inflated, swelling out into a round, spherical shape that was floating a few feet off the ground. Fortunately, her outfit inflated with her. Unfortunately, this left her looking like some kind of busty clown balloon…

How the hell was this possible? She wasn’t a cartoon, she was a clo- She was a hero! There was no way that-!

“Oh, perfect! Well done, Jiggle~ This will make for an amazing act!” To her surprise, BB was delighted, grabbing the shapeshifter’s lips and quickly knotting them together. “Now what was it I was supposed to do next – twist you into animal shapes?”

H-hey, wait a second, Boss, that wasn’t- OH!

Mimic’s protests died instantly as her mentor’s four arms seized hold of her puffed-up form and squeezed. Her eyes rolled up, and she couldn’t do anything more than moan, her brain bombarded by a siege of pleasure as she was firmly caressed, rolled, stretched and squished into a new shape. Each tug and twist felt incredible, like the deepest tissue massage imaginable – in a matter of moments, she’d completely lost track of what was happening.

At least, until she heard BB announce what she’d made of her with a happy chirp.

“There! That’s a dog if I’ve ever seen one~”

She sounded so proud. And… Oh no. Mimic wiggled a little in the air. Her body was in a complete tangle. Her arms were wrapped around her middle in a bow shape, her inflated hands locked beneath her like balloon legs. And he actual legs had somehow been tied around her head, knees pointed up like a pair of ears. Her neck was pretty long, too – wasn’t this more like a giraffe?!

“Let’s try something else!”

No, sto-Ooohhhh~

Again, Mimic melted into the massage as she was rewrapped around her mentor’s fingers, pulled and squished and tied into so many different directions, her brain spluttering and shorting out as it was literally bent into new shapes.

“How about a nice cat?”

Oooohhh… What… What was she now? Ah, now one of her arms had been stretched out to make a tail, while her chest was being puffed out to make some cat ears. Uh, c-close enough, maybe. Okay, maybe she was starting to get used to this…

But then BB started getting ambitious.

“Monkey!”

Wah! Mimic found herself pleasurably pulled into a shape that shouldn’t have been that different from her normal form – but apparently Blue Blazer thought monkeys had five hands and three tails, so by the end of the twist she was gasping for breath, her eyes pinballing around her head.

“Octopus!”

Ahhhn~! S-since when did octopuses have twelve heeeads…?

“Rhinoceros!”

Ah… Heh… heh… This was all… so… silly…

“Woolly Mammoth!”

Heehee… So silly…

“Snake!”

So silly… Just like her… heeheehee~

“Puffer fi- Oops!”

The strained knot binding Mimic’s lips had finally had enough, slipping free and allowing all the air sealed inside her to rush out at once. It was like a yawn, but one that resonated through her whole body as the poor shapeshifter was finally allowed her release. She flopped on the floor, a boneless, flattened figure, little more than a deflated clown balloon.

“Oh dear.” BB sighed, shaking her head, a silly lilt still clear in her voice. “That will never do, Jiggle! We’ve got an act to perform. Let me see if I can… Aha!”

Just as she needed it, the four-armed performer found exactly the tool she needed on the floor next to her. Bending down, she plucked up her hollowed-out sidekick with one hand, and a hose with the other, kicking the air compressor it was connected to as she rose back up. It rumbled to life, and with a grin the alien clown inserted the nozzle straight into Mimic’s open mouth…

The inflation sensation was a strange one. Her entire body was being filled with air – especially her head. Everything felt so light and empty… Any thoughts left over in her brain after all that twisting and stretching was blown clean out of her ears, leaving a delightfully full air-headedness to take their place. Facts and figures, worries and concerns, even heroic duties and plans to deal with the fiend behind all of this nonsense?

She was far too silly to care about boring things like that!

With a gin and a giggle, JiggleJugs popped back to proper size and did a cartwheel as she landed back on her feet, a zany smile wide on her face.

“Thanks WobbleWagon!” She laughed, puffing up her chest – which seemed to have grown even bigger from the balloon experience! “I bet the Ring Master will love our new act!”

“Wonderful!” The taller hero clapped her hands happily – before pausing, her brow wrinkling with a frown. “Or… Was it? Ah…”

The shorter clown blinked up at her co-performer. “What’s wrong? Don’t you want to prepare for our next show?”

“I feel strange…” Wobble- No, Blue Blazer muttered, rubbing at her head. “Something here is… is not right. Weren’t we doing something important…?”

It was like there was some part of her, deep inside, that was yelling at her to- to do something. That something was very wrong right now, and that if she didn’t put a stop to it, then she and her friend might be lost for good. It was on the tip of her tongue…

Fortunately, her sidekick was right there to help.

“Wowwie, Wobble! When did you get so serious?” JiggleJugs giggled, smacking her co-star right on the ass. “Don’t worry – I know just how to knock that frown out of your head!”

Blue Blazer blinked, looking down at her sidekick in confusion, rubbing at her behind. “Out of my-?”

WHAM!

JiggleJugs lifted the massive mallet that had spontaneously appeared in her hands to grin at her partner. “Feel better?”

“Ooohhh…” A now much, much shorter blonde clown staggered from side to side, little stars and flying saucers circling around her head. In one concussive instant she’d gone from over seven feet tall to perhaps just over three – and most of that mass had been shunted straight to her curves. Her chest had doubled in size from its already impressive curvature, now perhaps two thirds as big as Jiggle’s… But her real showstopper was her ass, which had taken a far more than healthy helping of the distribution. She was now an incredibly bottom-heavy hourglass, as her every swaying strut proved, and far outshone her co-star below the belt. “Feeling great, Jiggles!”

The pair burst into a joined giggle as it became clear that the impact had also managed to flatten any trace of her old self completely – and that now, instead of two heroes, they were just another pair of slutty clowns joining the show.

“Oooh, do you think he’ll like it if I stretch up to the rafters and then swing you around the tent…?

“I could use my laser blasts to make fireworks!”

A pair of slutty clowns who had no cares at all, save for attracting the attention of the Ring Master, so that they could perform for him directly. He hadn’t noticed them yet – his attention still had by funnier, more creative acts – but that was to be expected! They were only rookie clowns, after all. Hopefully one day they’d manage a real hum-dinger of an act, and earn his applause.

It was bound to be a real show stopper, either way – and for WobbleWagon and JiggleJugs, the silliest clowns in the tent, what could possibly be better than that?