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CLUB MAYOMUSTARD - FEBRUARY 21, 2026 (Patreon)

Published:
2026-02-21 22:33:20
Imported:
2026-09

Downloads

  • ELLEN 2.19.26 EDIT.mp3

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Content

Put your skis BACK, it's avalanche season. Get your shears out, it's time to rip bodice!!! Put your birds back, the gators are hungry. Get your PinkBerry cups out, it's time to fill them with both mayo and mustard!!!!! Quit your jobs! Paint your beaus! Row row row your boat!!! It's Ellen time.

Files

Comments

Javi

SEX, What you know about sex?

Isak

I "mustard" (just heard) the notification for this ep!

Henry

Nice big spud for you

Alex S

Get your eggs out!

Joseph

PLEASE talk about the recently released segment from the Liza book where she talks about GAGA refusing to go on stage with her unless she was in a wheelchair.

Grace Randolph

MY COCK IS HANGING OUT MY NEW YORK APARTMENT WINDOW !!!!!! ABOUT TO HATE ON JESSICA CHASTAIN AND START BEEF WITH ANOTHER BIG NAME DIRECTOR!!! WHO’S NEXT!!!

Josh H.

Was just about to drink beers and dig in the garden, perfecto 🤌

John

🅱️eanus 🎨🖌️

ax

it was my cock begging to be out

roboboy

start’ spreadin’ (the newsss)

vic

Get your spuds OUT it’s time to garnish them

Noah

I'm activated!!!!!

Scott

Bingo.

Owin

Fronts out

Davey

Get your Kazuto’s out

Mac

tODaY i aMM tHUh mAyoooH

Roople

Cock! Cock! COCK!

Adam

sending my regards to the shengen zone

Sia Furler

Im at a BOP rn so im taking the cock of the mind put

Derek

Mayochup in my pussyyy

Davey

Get your Usak’s out

Javi

I stay ready❤️🫶🏼

Grady

Nooooo

reagan

Get your CONDOMents out!!

Judy

Ride ‘em cowboy 😈

Josh H.

Wuthering Shites, starring Ginger Minj

Drew

There’s always time for a White Feather Cock Tail Deer Hunter

Amy Cakes

Lana Del Rey is living that Shy People lifestyle

Dibi

Never forgot Theda’s impression of Lana Del Rey’s music, “daddy wants to punch me/ daddy wants to punch me”

Kurt Fraser

Girls, you’ve done it again

Roople

My safeword is mayomustard

May

the serial painter oil spill bottom call is crazy. now i’m envisioning the dawn dish soap commercials with the ducks

Henry

Ha-ha-aaaaahhhhhhhhh 🎼🎶🎵🎤💚💚💕

Alex G

Being gay feels good in a place like this. HELLO

Javi

Black shoes. white socks. Shouldn't be allowed in the church🎶😩

Lux Stellarum

Tati prefers the Winter Olympics clearly because of the huge asses and saline cocks

Terry Gross

I came here expecting to laugh and left with the horrifying realization that I am doomed to forever be a humiliated middle.

aggie

I can’t stop thinking about the eel

BigGayJack

Icon, get to The Hague xoxo

BigGayJack

I still say “she married a string of gay cops…”

Darren Yu

I have a reason to live after hearing your coverage of the boyfriend (I guess aside from cum)

andy

I screamed in horror with my 🎶headphones on🎶

BigGayJack

Emerald Fennel’s “Canterbury Tales.”

helen

Anyone know what is the ‘ohhhh, hellooo’ drop is from

Charlotte Emma Aitchison

The Boyfriends is just perfect healing television. It's like the perfect antithesis to every fucking awful reality dating show. I love ittttt

Charlotte Emma Aitchison

I saw Lana on her UK tour for the first time last year. It makes me laugh that she has become a critical darling with her recent work, (which I do think is deserved, she's become a surprisingly good songwriter with time) but she's forced to play all the worst songs from her early work because all her fans are young millennials who basically stopped listening to her after her second album. I don't even know if you could do a big arena tour of her newer work, it's just not the sort of thing that would go down well in a live setting. It's beautiful but it's also the musical equivalent of shooting up heroin 😅

LS

Thought y’all were gonna be talking about KEN RUSSELL’S the BOY FRIEND (1971) okay?!!!

LS

God I love The Entity 📢drop

Ian (age withheld)

Can't believe Theda didn't mention the blended chicken protein shakes in The Boyfriend, and how the hot guy got cucked by the group and told he can't buy all the chicken he wants because they didn't make enough money working the coffee stall

Sia Furler

More context to to my call: the trip is 5 days not 5 weeks, all the men are in a shared dorm room, I still love my ex but he does not like me

Ian (age withheld)

Usak take your top off and sell more fucking coffee if you want your nasty blended chicken shakes

Carmen Laurent

Okay so what the guy who's quitting his job should do is use all of his sick time and PTO and THEN ditch when you're supposed to "come back"

Isak

Cock is a muscle, that allows us TO stroke!

Alex G

already revisiting this rich text of an episode

Henry

Could see her doing something weird with Don Quixote

Henry

Same 😭🤢

Antoni

life… death.., sun…. moon… yin…,. yang….mayo.. mustard…,,.

Ryan

Theda your analysis of The Boyfriend season 1 was perfection 🤌

BigGayJack

Literally just did this myself felt like a million orgasms.

BigGayJack

Oxford rowing is so much hotter than hockey too. I’m sorry xoxo

AgadorSpartacus

I was in the line at Duane Reade and was giggling at "I love trans" but then burst out laughing so hard when the "too hot for cinema" scene started. I dropped everything in my hands and ran out. LoL

Josh H.

🎶BAYBEH🎶

hayden

OMG the boyfriend analysis was perfect ... season 2 started to grow on me once izaya and william left but i still cannot believe how boring their storyline was and how it took up the majority of the season... where my jobuheads at

Javi

Get your cocks out! It's Not Up to You

Carmen Laurent

Congrats!!!! Stick it to the man!!!!

jim

Also, when he leaves after accomplishing his goal of opening himself up to the possibility of love (but really because he wasn't attracted to anyone lol), and everyone cries about the thought of the all the chicken he's leaving behind in the fridge

Antoni

emerald fennel and sam levinson need to get together to do a limited series with madonna and jacob elordi to kill the last taboo once and for all

Nicco

Not to bring up potential psyop news but Spain is currently dealing with “therians” and it’s so darksided how the people are eating it up vs how Republicans tried to make kids with litter boxes a thing in the states

Nicco

Also finally watched The Beast and my life was changed? Get your DOORS out

Christ

trump was talking about gal gadot when he talked about 'those big tall wind turbines mercilessly killing the birds.'

riiian

im fuckingcrying

riiian

Catherine Breillat's Anatomy of Heights

BigGayJack

Don Quixote is riding Sancho.

Tati Beauty Puff

the last taboo was not leaving a bowl untapped in wuthering heights, let me kms

M

“Don’t cal it eel play!”

M

You got me with this one, gal 🤣

M

“Mayo mustard mayo mustard DRINK”

Megan M. Metzger

that is what I must do. I currently work for the devil and if I don't get a new job soon I will say lemme kill mah self

Coffin Flop

Theda watch Terrace House!

Jack RT

Shun is TRANS!!!

Aaron

release the cock!

Jakab Bailey

Throw ‘em back ‘til I lose count 🤪

Marsi

The one where they spammed the squelch sound effect

y c

Mayomustard is cringemaxing

Jordyfish

i love you so much kyle yetter

Veronica Piper

hi theda i literally wrote an essay about the feet and i get exactly what ur saying

Thunder In a Tin Can

Jordan, you're perfectly charming and I love you too. I said what I said.

Pat

I think messy anal will save us all If you know what I mean…

nymphowarsxxx

I FINALLY got to the part those fucking two BORING FUCKS left and it's so much better wow.

Dip

Please make the ginger mings wicked riff a drop

Bethany

Theda cracking herself up every time mayomustard comes up really got me

Djua Leepuh

The sound of Theda losing her shit with laughter is the pure sound of angel’s laughter ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

Willis Brown

i also just watched the boyfriend after hearing this ep and am so confused Taeheon is the cutest and also relegated to wallpaper status

uhh umm

Melon Punch is the Wilhelm Scream of Nymphowars

DewLeepa

Kish my mayomussy

EJ

How’s COLLEGE

Henry

I second

Dee

🎶 Swimming pool full of mayomustard and I diiiive in🎶

DewLeepa

If it don’t look like a Texas oil rig when I pull out, I don’t want it!

Bolkagirl

Anyone heard the new Tori leak? I am scared... plumbing new depths of neoliberalism 🥶

Serena

Get your husbands out

Hunty

tried to listen while sick in bed but it was too overwhelming and I got nauseous so I'll have to return to it later 😔

The Marvelous Meredith Marks

Sorry just saw Gaga and she slayedddddd. Going to listen to the mayhem review now b/c I can’t sleep, it’s important to stay grounded. It’s an beautiful day in the neighborhood

Serena van der Schnitzel

Tati did a color analysis video with some rando ‘color consultant’ from Dallas, she took off all her makeup and had the Dallas lady drape sheets over her. She looked like the girl with a pearl earring and it’s all I can think about

Lloyd

Friday I’m in love by the cure?

Dibi

Today . . . I am . . . the mayomustard

BigGayJack

I am going to OPEN the door

BigGayJack

Sorry he has hot voice, like a guy with hairy legs and shaved balls, he can stay.

Thunder In a Tin Can

You're a lunatic. (a) there's no such thing as a voice that implies he's hot. (b) it's pretty standard gay guy voice. (c) stop supporting hot people.

Tati Beauty Puff

night of white feather hawk tail wampum prayer deer hunters

Eliot

get your diabolical crimes………………… OUT !

M

Would love to get you in the stood! Bet I could help you get free Quince 4evah 🙌🏻

Bricka Tuna

Truly serving the cuntiest amish woman

David B

After an awful day, I get out my little phone, sensory toy and colouring book, read the comments and they make me not wanna lemmekillmyshelff xxxxxxx

Debbie Rossclot

Jordan from Texas Oil needs Emily’s Kitchen’s bathroom Towel!!!!

Jakab Bailey

You could say, mayo and mustard… Stronger together

Christ

macy do you have any leftover vinyl pressings of The Lake????? 😭

M

Ohmygosh, you guys, shockeen news: It turns out I’m a True Spreen!

Joel M

I actually just tried Mayomustard right now and its pretty good. Thanks you queens ✨

Christopher Biscoe

So... Does 'Dictator believing Lizard Demons' mean a dictator who believes in lizard demons or a person who believes in dictatorship who IS a lizard demon? 🧐

Noah

brilliant episode. excited for club stronger together / club dragon next week !!!!!

Jo

‘There’s a freedom in the bottom’

Freyja

I think that baby’s gonna die (in this house)

Lloyd

Theda mentioning LDR’s dirty feet only for Benny Blanco’s dirty feet to go viral immediately after🔮

roboboy

ginger battle cry made me choke laughing

M

🤢

hamson

This made me get my mayo and mustard out!!!!

river

had a sandwich with ‘djionnaise’ today,, i didn’t realize mayomustard had a yuppie cousin!

,

Such a wonderful feeling to leave them hanging❤️

satchelsofgold

This was such an amazing ep and also want some all dating advice call in shows!!