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CLUB PUSSY DETECTIVE — APRIL 18, 2026 (Patreon)

Published:
2026-04-18 10:44:09
Imported:
2026-09

Downloads

  • CLUB ELLEN 2026 APRIL 16.mp3

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Content

GET YOUR CREAMS OUT OF YOUR PUSSY / WE LOVE EUPHORIA BECAUSE WE ARE THE MOTHERFUCKING KINGS OF PUSSY / UPDATES FROM OUR FAVORITE CONCERT..."COACHELLA." / THE NEW GREAT SONG "RUNWAY" / WHO ATE THE CAKE? JAMIE LEE CURTIS PUSSY DETECTIVE IS ON THE "CAKE." / BIG GAY JACK WANTS TO GO TO ANTARCTICA / SMALL TOWN FRIEND WRITES YELP REVIEW / DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE CIS WOMAN? / MACA SAGA / AND MUCH MORE

Files

Comments

AgadorSpartacus

6:45 AM. Cock is coming out early folks. GET YOUR COCKS OUT WITH ME! WOO-HOO!!!!!!

May

i feel so free on the dancefloor of club ellen

Giovanni A

get YOUR PERSONAS OUTTTT

Sia Furler

When I think about the fact Diplo managed to pull MIA in her prime (pre religious psychosis arc) I am just so shocked. She was so beautiful and ground breaking and outspoken and he was like mayonnaise in affect and music.

Jae

Pop Shemergency: Madonna Releases

AgadorSpartacus

Sometimes my phone randomly skips big chunks of audio. And I thought that the GaGa/Doechii colab was "Wu-Tang". Also, that they were saying poontang.

Isak

BEGIN THE GOONVESTIGATION🔎

Dany

Just wanted to share that my Scald CD arrived safely! Been gooning to the cover ever since

Noah

Get your old timey pipes out it's time to SMOKE I LOVE TO SMOKE

Jesus

Runway is fun! I'll take Drag Race ballroom slop from Gaga and Doechii over the Katseye/Sabrina Carpenter/Taylor Swift mid off

Joey

Get your new personas out

EJ

I’ve got a big mug of nut water and am ready for Club

Gwyneth

We are the personas of the Ellens you couldn’t burn

Brody

Mummydonna at Coachella.

Brody

Mummydonna wants her frozen toenail cum but it’s TOO HOT in Coachella valley.

Bradley

I personally loved the maca hormone voicemail

Josh

Get your Feeling So Free out

josh brolin

sydney sweeney diaper doggy

Roople

J-cock e-lordi

roboboy

Gaga also has a voice that feels rlly at home doing a dance soul diva thing IMO

Josh

doechii 'industry plant' stuff is just an adin ross talking point from when he was (barely) pretending to not be extremely racist about her

Jesus

It's the only time you can tell she's feeling her bowl in her soul

nymphowarsxxx

It is your prerogative to prefer one slop to another

nymphowarsxxx

Aah ok duly noted, strike that from the record!

Josh

that's cool, i felt like 2010s woke to even comment... at least you didn't say 'dance floor is dead' on the pages of british vogue!

Javi

Janie Lee Curmis in the gurney

Jesus

Sabrina Carpenter's management reading Madonna's rider for frozen toenail cum and a can of dog food

Wesley

charlie oink was a future president 😔

Tati Westbrook

ok so i purchased "beekeeper" by heretic after the last episode and i just got it. holy shit, it is absolutely delectable and when it goes out of stock.... let me kill myself!

Roople

Cormoran Strike it!

Marsi

This episode got me thinking

Tom from MySpace

Jill Biden Loses $35K Bid to Appear in Heated Rivalry: 'Guess I Won't Be Going to the Cottage' People.com, April 2026

Zach Defense

Congrats to ten years of trans if you know what I mean!!!!

ssss

I agree with the sabrina/taylor unamusing millennial humor point, john early is also guilty of this

Nickerbockers

janie lee and the case of the called pussy

Henry

Didn’t Macy write a review at the weird Portland porn bookstore

hugomac

Elvis's white reggae has not aged well.

Baby, Don’t Shoot Podcast

Bingo Books!! It’s the fucking weirdest store and it’s attached to a Christian coffee shop???

Josh H.

Maybe it's pussy-cream, or maybe its leftover Activia? Only Jamie Lee can judge mee...

Josh H.

She does have a "shit eating grin"

Josh H.

You know how mayo be, always inserting itself in other sauces it shouldn't.

Dillon

Unimportant, but just want to confirm that Ellen is in Taylor Swift’s You Need To Calm Down music video

Brody

This made me literally laugh out loud so fucking hard. Keep stroking that cock!

ssss

Agreeing to do the taylor hero video made his critiques of millennials seem silly. But "you better work" 🩵

Adam

spotted in northampton massachusetts: graffiti reading “FRAN LEIBOWITZ r u a nazi sympathizer?”

Susan Boyle

Theda, don't say you hate everyone. What is this jejune caprice? Remember me? You love me. Go back to just a few years ago, this same time of year. We're on our porch resting from tending to our farm, basking in the warmth of our refulgent Sun. With every breath the scent of blooming spring lilacs caresses you, as I hand feed you those weird gmo cotton candy flavor grapes we grew together. Mmm... Yummy. I'm doing all I can, as I always have, to assuage your angst from a global society incontrovertibly nosediving in sustainability. We're watching our precious daughter, Macy, far out in the field, dancing by herself in solitary bliss. We know when we pass, she will be okay. No matter what happens on this god forsaken Earth, our Macy will dance to the song of our love for her. You remember that. You remember me. Love, Susan

Josh H.

Perdóneme, I like being a pot smoking faggot loser. Enjoy the pole sis!

Rrrrr

daphne i am happy to hear your entire story about maca your weird femdom coworker at juiceland im in austin lets have coffee

Susan Boyle

My theory is she was mad horny so she fricked him, got syphilis, and now the brain is rotted

Susan Boyle

Crying at the solid 3 seconds of ptsd silence after u played the gaga song

Jo

Love you gals!

Aaron

I creamed a cream

Sia Furler

As someone with BPD, “you know what you did” and blocking someone is 100% something I’ve done. Dr Theda is right as usual.

K.

Why did I think the pussy detective was going to hop on the ruby rose/ Katy Perry case

Henry

This sent a Shiver down my spine

JT

I live for the reflections on aging sprinkled like maca powder through all the episodes

M

The way I immediately knew it had to be sex cult (ALLEGEDLY) juiceland

M

Perfect music for JLC’s scooping though

M

We are all Charlie Oink

Sam

Hello, Madison She/Her

Brody

Okay I’m sorry to even mention her but this is so Nymphowars, Caitlyn can’t get anywhere because her passport says the wrong gender and she says she called Trump and is waiting for him to call her back LOL

Henry

I know good and damn well Diplo was eating weird casseroles, meatloaf, and kraft Mac and cheese growing up. Nobu - my foot! Puh-leeze

Grug

The Jamie lee segment was a feminist retelling of the Davey Wavey's 'what's up my butt?' challenge series

Joe B

Why does she get to survive?

Sia Furler

Oh my GOD. Did this come to you in a dream?

Derek

Gooning at the Dublin Tori Amos concert

Dana

The first time she says “Create a new persona” on I Feel So Free it sounds exactly like “Create a new fursona”

DewLeepa

The cake is what I call my pussy

DewLeepa

Cream a little cream for me

DewLeepa

Diaper doggy yoo-hooooo!

David B

Je suis Pussy King

vic

Literally just watched Ella McCay last night and got jumpscared by this double Jamie experience, thank you girls 🍦

DewLeepa

What if the talkative voicemails are sped up by .25 or .50, food for thought, and the thought is what I call my pussy

hugomac

My bluetooth speaker sometimes disconnects from my phone and shuts down and I literally thought that had happened.

Bricka Tuna

I wish I could slide down into the pussy of Jamie Lee to be detected

brucey

Club Cleveland Steamer... yummy!

Connor

where is “my parents were disney freaks” from i can’t remember!

covered in scoop

all the big gay jacks i know ... they wanna go to antarctica

May

finale of and just like that

Sydney Austin

I also have to stop smoking for a job so thank you doubly for the pep talk 🤣

Javi

And the tigers come at night🎶

Aaron

And I extract all their musk for me cream 💜

Megan M. Metzger

I have seen Amy Schumer out in the wild twice in my life: at Gay Head in Martha’s Vineyard and a rest stop in upstate New York. What does it meaaaaaaaaaan

jim

Big ask ladies but can we return to Coachella to talk about this next week?

Jaeciana

Churning the cream from my pussy into pussy butter (feat. Big Freedia)

Freyja

Not gonna lie I was a diehard fan of the whole doechii thing with alligator bites and I just listened to the new track for the first time here like I was watching a family member be shot in the head 👍

Freyja

“ROSS: Anyway…”

Freyja

Anxiety also fucking sucked idk what I’m on about

ethan

The shade is what I call my reading😛

winston

are you at all familiar with the leaked snippet of the cher and wu tang clan collab where cher just pops up at the end and bellows “WU TANG BABBBBBYYYY, THEY ROCK THE WOooOoOoOoRLD”? worth a listen if not or a revisit if it’s been a while

M

Scussy King

DewLeepa

You know what it means. *blocks you*

Pe er

ok in defence of macy's therapist, speaking as a therapist, I see lots of clients who completely deny the idea that their parents had any negative impact on them and don't want to discuss childhood at all in the initial stages of therapy (of course these are always the clients who turn out to have been treated horribly if not outright abused)

nymphowarsxxx

Her early stuff was promising to me, like “what it is” and “mph” are great! - Macy

DewLeepa

Yeah, but, most queer and trans people are aware of themselves enough to know it’s usually family that fucks you up. It’s also something you usually have to include in your intake forms, like, stress or harmful habits tied to adolescent experiences Sometimes it’s ✨okay✨ to not always assume positive intent. Having said that, thank you for your service 🌷

David B

Theda, I've spent years debasing myself for a 'steamer' in cafes. I'm intolerant to caffeine completely so I ask for 'a leetle cup of hot meelk plz' and it kills me every time. I've even done it in my work's canteen. No shame. Hot mweelk and werm cookees lemmekillmaself x

BungHole Liquors

Happy 10yr (or so) tranniversary to the gals 🎉

Gabriel

do u recommend it..

michela

happy tranniversary 🖤 7 years

brucey

i love the "mmm yummy!" sound effect so much, it's absolutely terrible and i wish i could listen to it over and over its like pushing on a bruise

Freyja

No literally like even when she got into the whole kinda corny 2000s posturing thing with Nissan Altima and stuff it still worked, she just hit this gaga trajectory where she just did nothing but turn up to fashion events for six months and then apparently decided to make the worst shit of her career 🫠🫠😭

Freyja

Big gay Jack put down that small straight joint 🙏

Russalka

I will ALWAYS remember my detective. P-U-S-S!❤️

Beth Jerky

happy 4/20, especially to Big Gay Jack <3

owen

7:25 is the my parent where Disney freaks epcot from and just like that

Jesus

Amy Schumer is your Saturn return mawma

Demetrius

Me smoking weed rn, I am said faggot loser

Megan M. Metzger

When I saw her in Upstate NY she had just had her baby and she looked like hell frozen over and she had milk stains on her titties and I felt kinda bad for her

Ryan Koski

I was listening to this episode at the gym and as I was reaching the end, an acquaintance of mine that knows I’m gay came up to me and was like “omg have you heard this song????” And it was the god damn Doechi Gaga song and I almost shit my pants.

freezy515

As a Lana fan my new favorite song is Thoroughfare by Ethel Cain. Thank you for listening

Jesus

Don't because she's going to turn that experience into the unfunniest standup about her vagina

Don

can anyone help me find the episode where macy tells us about the advert she saw that was like "you must fuck these ugly grannies" 🙏

Josh H.

Hey that Tim Heidecker and "the onion" buyout of infowars is getting some traction online, and I just saw an Instagram comment saying "can you start Nymphowars as well". Might be time to file a trademark and get that money dolls 🪆

AM

Ok but some of us are desperately waiting to hear Macy's thoughts on Nephilim

Tony Balls

there was allegedly a pic of diplo’s cock circulating around my college campus around 2016. and girls it was huge !!!!

LS

I LOVE the new “THANK YEWWW💖💞” sound effect so much

Matthew

Where can I find it? I need it as my text tone!!

brucey

I'm gonna steal this idea

Leil Houndes

2 Septemeber 2023 club ellen! I just came across it while perusing the Private Tumblr Journal of the Antichrist

Roople

Is some granny chasers up in here

vic

Let’s just say, even the multiple substances I was on didn’t help make it an even remotely good “bad” movie 🥲

Adobo chart updates

Omfg I came across that ad and I have yet to conjure it again to record it

Yummy

assistance needed: have they talked about emilia perez? if so, in which episode? thanks

May

nov 16 2024 and jan 10 2025

Matthew

Pissy Detective

brucey

omg yummy!!

Don

thank you🙏🙏🙏

Matthew

Mmm yummy!

caitlin gender

LOGGED IN TO SAY THIS, THE MARKETEEN

caitlin gender

Tati really SCOOPED my bowl on this one

Hunty

WU-TANG WU-TANG WU-TANG WU-TANG

y c

Refreshing on a Saturday

Davey

Omg same — how many takes did it take to get “muthah” right

mealy booby brown

The recent implementation of the "mm yummy" soundbit is really huge in my book

bundt

i had a similar obsession with ana ng by they might be giants

Joseph

that song clearly trying to be an Azealia Banks ripoff but they’re both so r-worded they can’t pull it off

Ronnie Nygard

My dumb zoomer parakeets brain needs a daily quota of hitting the mmm yummy dopamine button. I NEED TO KNOW where it’s from

mealy booby brown

It's really doing it for me. No idea where it's from

Lauren Ipsum

Ingmar Bergman analyze this ⚰️